What activates the pleasure and reward centers of the brain, calms parts of the brain associated with fear and anxiety, and is available to anyone without a prescription?
Long-term relationships.
Researchers Bianca Acevedo, PhD and Arthur Aron, PhD took ten women and seven men who had been married an average of 21.4 years and did fMRIs to look at their brains.
They wanted to see what was happening in their brains while participants looked at photos of their partners.
For a comparison, they also saw photos of a highly familiar acquaintance, a very close, long-time friend, and a less familiar acquaintance.
When looking at their long-term partners, the areas of the brain affected were associated with dopamine reward (like the ventral tegmental area, which is involved in intense emotions relating to love).
This activation is similar to what is seen in the euphoric early-stages of love.
But the difference in long-term relationships vs. new ones is this: brain areas associated with attachment (like the insular cortex and anterior cingulate) were also activated during the fMRIs when looking at long-term partners, as were areas related to learning, memory, and neurohormones (from the hypothalamus).
Overall, people who were happily involved in long-term relationships had increased activation of their pleasure-reward circuits and parts of the brains relating to attachment and bonding.
Not only that, but the parts of the brain associated with anxiety and fear were calmed as well.
One caveat here is that this small sample only looked at individuals in heterosexual relationships who reported being in intense love with their long-term partner.
So it would be interesting to see how other relationship-types compare (there are so many).
But this work certainly highlights the benefits of fostering a deep, meaningful relationship with a partner.
You can read the entire article in the February 2012 edition of Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience.
For now, let’s talk relationships . . .
. . . I’m curious what you’ve been seeing in your practice.
How have relationships affected the brain health of your patients? And is there a technique you’ve found particularly helpful in helping someone deepen a relationship?
Please let me know what you’ve been seeing in the comment section below.
I am sure the implications of this go somewhat further than just couples relationships. The attachments between pets and humans are clearly relevant.
Equally we need to think of the ability of a couple to entrain and bring each other to a settled state.
This one is stimulating my thought more and more- I have had significant issues with chronic pain and am very clear now that this can have a negative effect on my partner: if my pain stresses me, then either through my being more irritable, or less helpful, or through simple mirror neurone effects this state can have a negative effect on my partner. More and more I am seeing management of my pain and stress state as being essential to caring for my partner and seeing her flourish.
Equally there will be similar effects associated with religious practice. Christians describe a personal relationship with their God- and in the context of this article that can be seen as protective to brain health.
From my own perspective as a Buddhist, I am appreciating that the deliberate cultivation and practice of compassion is absolutely core to Buddhist practice. Effectively in working with compassion meditation and loving kindness we are cultivating the ability to be in this kind of relationship with all beings. I guess that may explain some of the remarkable brain scan findings in some Tibetan monks who have participated in mindfulness research.
So maybe we need to think about whether this result generalises to all situations where the capacity to love, to care for another, is cultivated.
I suspect it has a lot to do with the neurobiology of caring.
I agree wholeheartedly that we need further studies here to be more clear about the connection between relationships and brain health. As a practicing Christian, I spend time regularly in sending love to God and others. I also take time to feel and bask in the love that God sends to me. These processes seem to have spontaneously dissolved the self analysis and self judgement that used to cause me suffering. As the mind comes to focus on loving and caring, we come to peace, an even to intense joy. The same process seems to take place for Buddhists, but the key word used seems to be “compassion” rather than “love”. Studies on this process will need to specify precise definitions for “love” and “care” and “compassion” as they are being used. Doc Childre has already clarified some of the definitions for us in his works on Heartmath. The foundation for the further studies has already been built.
An interesting aspect of this study hinges on the word “also.” Not only are the initial dopamine laden areas stimulated, but ALSO the brain areas associated with attachment and the areas related to learning, memory, and neurohormones (from the hypothalamus.)
So the familiar “either/or” often describing new love vs. lasting falls away. The variables are many, and the sample is tiny, so I’m interested to see where this research will go. I’ve often seen the excited brand new romance being more about reproductive stimuli, so when it does last, more substantial (learning) elements enter. Brand new romantic excitement is closer to flight or fight in its manifestations (can’t breathe, can’t eat, can’t sleep, the sweats, etc.)
Tuxedo or comfy flannel shirt?
Not to minimize the beauty of this research… but did they test people when they looked at or thought of their pets?
Elena, that’s exactly what I was thinking – test us with our dogs and cats (and horses for me)…
The bonding and emotional attachment is even stronger on long term homosexual relationships because of the homophobia that impacts these pairs. Transgendered folks have even more to contend with and it would be interesting to expand our data to include such couples.
Even when I observe contrary events, the long-term benefits always bring the two back together, and if it doesn’t, what intervenes? oh my…?
I have found the work of Mona Fishbane, Neurobiology and Couple Therapy very helpful. I agree with Kathy that it is about increasing emotional connection. It is helpful for them to understand their own and partners attachment style and develop compassion for each other’s difficulties in relating. As a therapist, being able to connect with compassion to both of them is so important.
After being in several long term relationships, I have decided to stay single and am very happy that way. That being said, I believe I have long term relationships that I have developed, however not necessarily in a romantic sense. While I encourage the couples I work with to use strategies that increase emotional connection and intimacy because I believe it’s vital in romantic partnerships and that our brains are wired to be emotionally connected with others, I’m wondering if others believe it is possible to reap the benefits of long term relationships that are not with romantic partners?
RET (Relationship Empathic Therapy) has helped most with both communication and trust issues with couples.
Long term? Your photo example seemed to show a 50 year old man and a 30 year old woman. 10 years maximum cannot be considered long term for a real study of LONG TERM. My husband and I have been married for almost 50 years…been through it all. Only death do us part. Nix the bullshit.
Thank you for this comment. I find ads that show a “loving relationship” where the women is young enough to be a loving daughter, irritating. I thought we’d be beyond the: younger woman being the ideal by now.
Hi Helen…….just curious if you are responding to my post? I don’t have a photo of an older man with a younger woman but caught the words ‘long term’ which I used in my post. Congratulations on 50 years!!!! Truly a remarkable accomplishment.
Touch is important. Asking couples to hug regularly when parting or returning each day has helped the overall relationship. With it, of course comes being able to talk to one another intimately and skillfully. Fun together is important, along with healthy sex. Any problem can be dealt with better if these areas are strong.
I find that couples can actually learn to heal the hurt places of one another if they understand what helps and what further injures.
The only technique I use is one that helps the client fall in love with themselves first. Then connecting with another with trust and deepening love moment by moment is everlasting.
What’s the technique for that?
The Importance of relationships with New Mindset. A Rational Mindset is Result of the Positive Critical Thinking.
I love the term “positive critical thinking”! Thank you!
Thank you, Ruth, for sending this piece on relationships, especially at a time our culture and the world is in a relationship crisis on most every front.
The importance of relationships is brilliantly explored and contextualized in Robert Hall’s book “This Land of Strangers”. You may find it of interest. Robert is a dear, thoughtful friend who sold his company and spent 6 years researching and writing the book. Some believe “This Land of Strangers” may be the most important book of the decade. He now is a consultant and speaker on relationships at all levels and spends time working with the homeless.
See Robert E. Hall’s website.
Each contribution in support of the importance of relationships is crucial. Please keep up your wonderful work.
Bests,
Joe
how about those of us who loved our partners, but were not loved in return. Loving our friends and family is as good as it probably get.
Those of us who are not loved by our partners learn to love unconditionally our family, friends and even strangers that cross our path. there is a lot of joy in loving unconditionally. It is very painful living with a partner who does not love us back. Pain is a great teacher.
Who what are the implications for those of us whose long term relationship came to an end with the death of one of the partners? Would be interesting to see those fMRIs.
I am very intrigued and excited by this concept, both in a strictly clinical sense ( I don’t get to see many long term healthy couples in my practice!) and as it relates to concepts of a loving God (in my situation from a Christian perspective) and the offer of unconditional love from our “heavenly parent”. A number of authors/books that I have found helpful in informing my thoughts on this – Sue Johnson/Love Sense, Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate/Hold onto you Kids, and Tim Jennings/God Shaped Brain. It has clear implications from childhood and parenting, relationships/romance, faith/self cconcept, and end of life (and everything in between).
I have now been a keen listener of your seminar series for several years, and very much appreciate the perspectives and format of the presentations. With them downloaded to my phone they are played repeatedly as I drive various places, and have been my primary source for professional development of late. Thanks, Ruth and colleagues!
Don
Thanks Don for your statement, can’t agree more! And thank you for listing Dr. Jennings/God Shaped Brain – just watched his talk on You Tube, he is spot on.