Trauma can be overwhelmingly difficult to deal with alone. And further, it ultimately affects more than just the person who initially suffered the trauma.
It’s very common for it to affect an intimate relationship, as well as the whole family. Thus, couples therapy can be an effective tool.
Watch this video as Dr. Sue Johnson talks about how to use couples-based therapy and the science of love to aid in healing trauma.
If you are interested in finding out more about the Treatment of Trauma, click here.
Have you ever used couples therapy or loving relationships to help your patients heal?
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ed sheeran photograph says
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Becky J says
Ross, It is obvious that you have gone deep and are working hard to deal with PTS. I survived a violent crime 25 years ago. I’ve walked many paths on my healing journey. Find what works for you, what resonates with you and keep doing it. EFT & yoga are excellent choices. I had the opportunity to receive Healing Touch (similar to Reiki) in the hospital. The first few times I had a session I attributed the good feeling to having a nice person visit me. After many more hospitalizations the beneficial effects were undeniable. I began taking Healing Touch classes and volunteering in the hospital. It was a wonderful experience that led to me becoming an acupuncturist. There is an amazing simple acupuncture protocol for PTS that is known as the NADA protocol. It was first developed for the treatment of addiction disorders by the National Acupuncture Detoxification Asdociation. It is currently being used on the battlefield by the USA military and being further researched by the VA. It is used at disasters around the world by acupuncturists without borders.
It’s usually done in a group setting sitting in chairs. 5 needles are inserted in special points on each ear and you relax for 30-45 minutes. You can google community acupuncture to look for clinics in your area that offer this service. It’s lower cost than a private acupuncture treatment. If you have insurance and it covers acupuncture call the acupuncture and ask if they know the ‘NADA protocol’. It’s well known in the Oriental Medicine community. It can be profoundly relaxing – helps your body form new neurological pathways.
Good luck! My husband is very helpful and supportive but has gone through cycles of being intolerant and unkind. Trauma cannot be swept under the rug like some things. It must be dealt with. That makes everyone uncomfortable because they must look at their dysfunctional patterns. It’s not easy and requires everyone to work hard on their own issues. I hope your family educates themselves and remembers who you are. All we need is LOVE.
J.J. says
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Rimi I Soma, Clinicalpsychologist says
Love heals people through the human.
Not only human,though. It’s great blessings.
Pamela says
LOVE is now, always has been and will continue to be the GREATEST HEALER in this universe and all other universes!
Makana, Education says
To Me the key 4 U, Me n Anyone Else dealing with heavy trauma issues is 2 Give Real True Self Care Love 2 Self 1st. Only way I know 2 give love iz 2 have some 2 give. It has 2 start In B4 it can go Out n B real (or else it just becomes the big energetic drain that helped get U kicked out [U probably did most of it yourself] in the first place.) They need 2 know it won’t suck them dry 2 love U even a little bit. Most everyone I know is always lookin out 4 their own survival & 2 them that usually means money. Take care of that 4 your self as much as U can. Work at getting what U need through whatever U really like 2 do somehow. That means 2 B imaginative & creative & try new things wen U can! Or go back to the old thing U liked 2 do B4 but quit because someone else said it was stupid. They R the stupid ones 4 now but U R 2 if you really believed them. And U sure don’t sound stupid 2 Me!!
B strong 4 Yourself 1st & 4 Others Wen U Can! Keep it in Good Balance so its not just Me, Me, ME.
Love 2 U from Kauai Brah!!
Makana
Ross says
Yes Makana, thanks for the advice, but I think maybe you’ve assumed a lot about me that you don’t really know anything about, or my family situation. Still I know you mean well. There are times though, when people might consider that they are not as omniscient as God, and keep from jumping to conclusions about others. You don’t know me, Makana, and you don’t know our family situation and history. Of course, you may be of the mind that everyone is just like you, but as sad as that may be, the world is filled with all different types. Your hipster philosophy is about as “draining” as it can be, when someone is in need of something a little deeper. Hope you manage to stop jumping to negative conclusions about others based on your own self importance. Of course it is always best when a person finds satisfaction in their own personal endeavors, and is able to feel good about that. But then, if were as easy as all that for traumatic stress injuries, then there would be no need for this entire discussion. Still you have managed to reduce it to a very simple formula, based on your own judgment of someone you don’t know. Perhaps all the Drs. and specialists interested in this topic should just refer to you from here on in. ;*) God bless you Makana, and I’ll give you a little advice now, too, in return. There are no easy answers, as you would have it, when it comes to 40 years of trauma, and you ought to think a little before you shoot off your…..advice.
Love 2 u 2 and good luck with all of that!
Simonetta Logan says
How old R U?
Silvia says
Very helpful intofmarion, thank you very much. May I suggest that in while using the Acupuncture Mat, I turn my back left and right, this will provide additional pain, and may be stimulate further the production of endorphin. which is helpful to reduce tension and relax the body. From Robert Tian.
Ross, unable to work right now says
I’ve been following the webinars as a person who has been fighting with trauma stress injury for 40 years. It’s just in the last couple years that I have been able to realize that this is what I have been dealing with. My trauma was set running wild when I was 17 and had an several extremely frightening experiences with drugs. The last one that summer was the one that sent me into a frightening state of uncontrol and desperation, which has affected all of my life ever since. And because it has been drug related, it has been considered as a psychological disorder rather than the stress injury that I know now that it is. All manner of psychiatric treatments failed to clear it up. Electro convulsive shocks, 13 of them when I was 18, and so on and on. 40 years of trying to struggle through. Some times did pretty well, others like now and for the last few years, not very good at all.
I think it must be true that family love is such a great healer in these instances. Recently, my family has tossed me on the curb, so to speak. My wife and her family and our two children have treated me like I have the plague or something, while at the same time, in a wa, denying that I really have this stress injury and implying that I should just get out there and get over it.
And there is nothing more in this life that I would want to do more. Except perhaps have some family left who might share with me something that resembles true caring love and compassion. I don’t expect anyone to cater to me, but when they reject and abandon you and treat you like you are a faulty faker at best, this makes things especially difficult. And the thing is, in my view, that it really doesn’t have to be so nasty. They loved me when things weren’t so tough, and I don’t want to drag them into my stress struggle, but a little caring without the constantly renewing of isolating treatment, would be so very much appreciated. They did love me for several years, especially the kids, and now they are being taught that I am a burden to their happiness. Still, I can’t help but believing that if a true caring love was shown, with separations in place so they may continue to enjoy life, then everyone’s lives would benefit from sharing that type of caring and loving relationship.
well, I guess what I’m saying is that deep inside, I think many of those with traumatic stress injury instinctively feel and know that this is, along with therapy and persistent desire and action taken to get healthier again, that this element of the recovery, the caring and feeling like you are still the same loving human person you were during the times things were better, is something that does immeasurable amount of good for the recovery of the tsi patient, as well as a lot of good for the family members who have courage enough and love enough to help. Still, I imagine that they fear being brought down into despair or depression along with the injured person, and precautions should be taken to assure that this type of scenario is not going to happen.
But yes, caring love, when it’s not there, or even worse, when it is denied on the apparent basis that the tsi patient is “just ruining their own life and we have to protect ourselves if we are going to be able to have a “good life” is, I think in the end, hurtful and harmful to all involved. Especially, I might think, when there has been in the past, a great deal of tender and joyful love shared with the children. Tough on everyone to go the “run away” route.
Love, in whatever healthy way it can be practiced, is always the number one healer, I would say. I often feel I am perishing without it and of course, then feel unworthy to be loved by anyone, and the isolation intensifies.
Well, that’s my opionion and thanks for allowing me to get it down here in the comments section. I think the yoga and the nonverbal ways of soothing the body and mind are also key. sometimes it seems to me the talk is not much of a healer, but rather a (unintentional) stigma intensifier! But I do think there is a place for all of it. The key is loving and caring in a healthy way, so that all involved feel safe and blessed, for the greater part, by what is happening. I remember a saying I read once that went, “the poor and the needy are God’s bankers. The more you invest in them, the more true wealth you build up for your self.” That’s true don’t you think.
Well, thanks for reading through this. Peace and love and a little more peace!
Rimi I Soma, Clinicalpsychologist says
Thank you for your sharing!
I love the last line “Peace and love and a little more peace!”・・・Beautiful.
Gratitude,
Rimi
Ricky, EFT and developmental life coach says
Hello Dear One, Yes, we now know scientifically that having eye-to-eye love/gazing is one of the most powerful, healing, brain-restimulating experiences we can have. It begins with the mother actually jumpstarting the infant’s brain circuitry in the first moments of life through eye-to-eye communication. So, being mirrored by those we love is powerfully healing.
You might consider trying to some relief from an EFT practitioner in your area that perhaps could ameliorate the changes and reactions in your brain’s reflexes when you get triggered. There is a lot on youtube and through Gary Craig that demonstrates anecdotally the positive effects for your system.
You sound as though you have a great deal of courage to have gone through so very much to get some relief. I hope your family will discover their deep love for you, again. Very best wishes, R.
Ross says
Thank you Rimi and Ricky. Your kind words are much appreciated. I have been trying EFT and watched the webinars for the 2012 tapping solution, I think it was called. So I am using those methods somewhat, and have recently discovered, too, Robert Smith and Faster EFT on the web. Also working on the neuroplasticity of the brain and trying to make changes through neural retraining. And am using yoga stretches regularly now too, and was very encouraged to hear the talk with Bessel van der Kolk on the benefits of yoga postures/stretches. Almost all of this though, I have done privately, with what I can learn from the internet.
Sometimes I feel like packing up and leaving this place, as it has been over 2 years now on my own, with much scapegoating coming from my wife and her friends/family. Very toxic stuff. And of course, it rubs off on the children, which is the most difficult thing of all for me to deal with.
Still, I think I will continue to find ways to heal and find peace within and above all, attempt to find ways to ensure the children know that I love them and to show them that love. Our family histories are complex, to say the least, but I think I will continue to work at finding safe and healthy ways to share love, even though it is regrettable that they are being taught so much by those around them now, to find fault and to scapegoat. This is great source of worry to me, but I hope that with continued effort on my part, we may find a way to mostly overcome that negativity and scapegoating behavior and replace it with love and true joy/peace. Right now they are being taught that joy and love are found only in good health and possessions. While these are good things to have, they can not be considered the true essence of human love and caring, as that type of thinking leads to so much segregation and unhealthiness.
Well, thank you all, for your genuine words of encouragement and care.
Blessings and peace.
Ross