It felt less harsh much kinder and loving. It felt like I was going walking to the inner child rather than the outer shell. Thank you for these practices.
I notice other parts of myself that are critical of that self care. Challenging to continue with the message. I am working on making more space around all those voices so they can each feel that care and compassion.
Watched and listened to you on youtube for at least three years, and you have taught me so much. I thank you. However, when I “forgive” myself for reacting to an alcoholic daughter, I seem to excuse my behaviour, and it doesn’t change. I just go on criticising and judging. I seem to HAVE to blame myself, in order to attempt to change my behaviour.
Thank you for your honesty Julia – your comment resonated with me as I was grasping to understand my response. The doubt that crept in for me was that I couldn’t sustain the caring feelings for myself because I carry a belief that I am only worthy or “enough” if others love or care for me. I realized that I hold a fear that I can never be or do enough for them to love me and stay in my life. (I know this is not true but it creeps in when I’m not at my best) Reflecting on my reaction I am hoping that I can shift my response to a place of personal loving kindness to find a place in my heart where I can truly believe that it is enough for me to just love myself – unconditionally and without judgement.
I feel calm, ‘felt’, deep connected with myself. I’m safe
Thank you Tara! I use to guide my.clients into this practice. It’ powerful indeed!
Karina Bercovich, clinical psychologist, Buenos Aires, Argentina
I’m using this knowledge to better communicate with my wife of 23 years. I want to be able to address her emotional needs and create more intimacy, but I also need to guard against my own crap from a dysfunctional father-son relationship. I do not want to repeat my dad’s mistakes. My wife is worth it. I want to be more whole for myself so that I can be my best for my wife.
A client called for help communicating in a triggering situarion. I was almost done watching this video. Somehow the kindness transferred to her, and she understood how to “take care of herself” without triggering another. She deeply understood, as we had a connection clearer and deeper, even over the phone, than we’d ever had before. Thank you for sending out these ripples of compassion
It’s such a simple gesture, but when I put my hand on my heart something in me eases. I can then see the harshness in how I normally treat myself from a place of care & not a place where I just heap on more judgement of the judgement.
Cecile Mitchell, Counseling, Flagstaff, AZ, USAsays
Reluctance and then calm
I can see starting a session off with this gesture of Kindness since it brings you in touch quickly with your self and was calming.
I found this very interesting and useful for myself and my clients. I am doing this quite late at night and I was feeling very tired and wondering if despite my interest, I could stay awake till the end. After doing the gesture of kindness I now feel wide awake, alert and keen to get on to the next section. Thank you.
Hand on heart, I told myself “I love you. I’m sorry for your suffering and fears.” I felt tears spring up in my eyes. I knew an inner part of me felt accepted and not a failure for living with fears a lot of the time. I have felt so inferior because of these recurrent fears and have hardly told anyone about them. I have judged myself and now that’s turning into acceptance.
Laura Smyth, Another Field, Wilmington , DE, USAsays
I felt compassion toward the part of me that I usually judge harshly. I recognized how she allowed me to survive during a very challenging time in my life, and without her, I wouldn’t be alive today.
Oh gosh–THANK YOU!!! As a therapist, I knew all the things to say to my clients to help with the life-long “scripts” in their heads, that held them back from experiencing true self. Sadly, I have always found it difficult to practice what I preached!
I fully understand and support the concepts in this video, and most recently (in some pretty dark moments), I have begun practicing them! Watching this video only reinforces 1) What I know to be true, and 2) what I now need to do for myself on a regular basis….
Hello Tara,
Yes, I think that you are making a very good contribution by encapsulating these teachings in a way suitable to introduce almost any client that is ready. Right now I am working with a Spanish speaking clientele. I have been a meditator as well and in a spiritual path under the non-dualistic orientation. I am not sure if this is the question but that is what I understood. Personally I will say that it is very effective as you guide the process and I found it very useful to be assisted and supported in this simple but profound way.
With the hand on heart gesture I experienced a sense of peace and acceptance. My inner voice assured me everything was ok and to be gentle on myself.
With gratitude Kathy
A sense of gratitude for showing me the path, and gratitude for myself for seeking it and gathering the knowledge to offer a gesture of kindness to myself.
as i placed my hand over my heart, i felt connection, warmth of my hand, tenderness of touch, access to my inner self. as i expressed words of comfort towards myself, i began to feel an opening in myself and a willingness to hear what was said, an acceptance of the kind words used,
and an allowing of the words to be words.
I hear others’ unkindness toward me afterwards. I feel like loving myself does not counteract others not behaving in a loving way. I have worked with many LPNs and elders and their families and I recently learned that people with dementia react to your face and body signals as much as to your words. I have a long history of fibromyalgia pain and fatigue; I think that other people “read” that in my body, face and voice and that this in particular has been a source of difficulty in connection, in both my professional and personal life. But, I will try to continue with this exercise because I did feel a mild relaxation of my muscles.
Thank you Tara! This has been extremely beneficial and will repeat, repeat, repeat.
I felt an energetic expansion in my heart and the pressure in the top of my head lifted.
Lightness returned & I felt harmonious.
Tara, you are such a great teacher! I hope we can translate it to Spanish so everyone in Argentina could follow you. Every time I do your meditations or listen to your talks, I feel happier.
Tara is one of the most compassionate & insightful teachers??So grateful to learn from her wisdom & brilliant words.
relief came up
Numbness – I realise I find it hard to let in self-compassion
It felt less harsh much kinder and loving. It felt like I was going walking to the inner child rather than the outer shell. Thank you for these practices.
I notice other parts of myself that are critical of that self care. Challenging to continue with the message. I am working on making more space around all those voices so they can each feel that care and compassion.
I felt relief when I did the exercise and a capacity to be kind with myself.
Thank you so much Tara!
Watched and listened to you on youtube for at least three years, and you have taught me so much. I thank you. However, when I “forgive” myself for reacting to an alcoholic daughter, I seem to excuse my behaviour, and it doesn’t change. I just go on criticising and judging. I seem to HAVE to blame myself, in order to attempt to change my behaviour.
There was a relief, swiftly followed by a doubt. I’m not sure I believe the kind gesture…
Thank you for your honesty Julia – your comment resonated with me as I was grasping to understand my response. The doubt that crept in for me was that I couldn’t sustain the caring feelings for myself because I carry a belief that I am only worthy or “enough” if others love or care for me. I realized that I hold a fear that I can never be or do enough for them to love me and stay in my life. (I know this is not true but it creeps in when I’m not at my best) Reflecting on my reaction I am hoping that I can shift my response to a place of personal loving kindness to find a place in my heart where I can truly believe that it is enough for me to just love myself – unconditionally and without judgement.
Thank you – the gesture of care helped me to relax and feel a gentleness within.
I feel calm, ‘felt’, deep connected with myself. I’m safe
Thank you Tara! I use to guide my.clients into this practice. It’ powerful indeed!
Karina Bercovich, clinical psychologist, Buenos Aires, Argentina
I’m using this knowledge to better communicate with my wife of 23 years. I want to be able to address her emotional needs and create more intimacy, but I also need to guard against my own crap from a dysfunctional father-son relationship. I do not want to repeat my dad’s mistakes. My wife is worth it. I want to be more whole for myself so that I can be my best for my wife.
placing my hand over my heart is a physical connection to the inner me.
it’s like ‘laying of hands’…..only onto myself…know what i mean??
thanks Tara
A client called for help communicating in a triggering situarion. I was almost done watching this video. Somehow the kindness transferred to her, and she understood how to “take care of herself” without triggering another. She deeply understood, as we had a connection clearer and deeper, even over the phone, than we’d ever had before. Thank you for sending out these ripples of compassion
Love it Tara!!! ???
Wonderful explanation of the 3 steps ending with the hand on the heart. Thank you Tara! ❤
It’s such a simple gesture, but when I put my hand on my heart something in me eases. I can then see the harshness in how I normally treat myself from a place of care & not a place where I just heap on more judgement of the judgement.
Gratitude and a chance to share knowledge and compassion to those who wish to receive it.
Reluctance and then calm
I can see starting a session off with this gesture of Kindness since it brings you in touch quickly with your self and was calming.
I felt self connected and calm. I will do this practice again as I so enjoyed feeling calm.
Thank you
I felt sadness arise, and a feeling of protectiveness of my inner child.
I found this very interesting and useful for myself and my clients. I am doing this quite late at night and I was feeling very tired and wondering if despite my interest, I could stay awake till the end. After doing the gesture of kindness I now feel wide awake, alert and keen to get on to the next section. Thank you.
Self acceptance for me is VERY difficult! But, I really liked the exercise at the end. I felt a sense of calm.
A sense that life issues could be resolved by practicing self kindness.
With clients I would stress the importance of practice to re wire the brain
I felt peace. I want to help clients cultivate more self-compassion and offer themselves messages of care.
Peace, self acceptance and joy. I will start practicing for myself and then share with others specially in my family. Thanks a lot!
It felt forced and not real.
Some tears and a sense of relief, as I do try and practice these three things.
Hand on heart, I told myself “I love you. I’m sorry for your suffering and fears.” I felt tears spring up in my eyes. I knew an inner part of me felt accepted and not a failure for living with fears a lot of the time. I have felt so inferior because of these recurrent fears and have hardly told anyone about them. I have judged myself and now that’s turning into acceptance.
i am relearning and unlearning and struggle with the need to let judgment go
it made me sad
im ready to forgive myself
I felt compassion toward the part of me that I usually judge harshly. I recognized how she allowed me to survive during a very challenging time in my life, and without her, I wouldn’t be alive today.
Oh gosh–THANK YOU!!! As a therapist, I knew all the things to say to my clients to help with the life-long “scripts” in their heads, that held them back from experiencing true self. Sadly, I have always found it difficult to practice what I preached!
I fully understand and support the concepts in this video, and most recently (in some pretty dark moments), I have begun practicing them! Watching this video only reinforces 1) What I know to be true, and 2) what I now need to do for myself on a regular basis….
Again, THANK YOU Tara!!!!!!!
Hello Tara,
Yes, I think that you are making a very good contribution by encapsulating these teachings in a way suitable to introduce almost any client that is ready. Right now I am working with a Spanish speaking clientele. I have been a meditator as well and in a spiritual path under the non-dualistic orientation. I am not sure if this is the question but that is what I understood. Personally I will say that it is very effective as you guide the process and I found it very useful to be assisted and supported in this simple but profound way.
With the hand on heart gesture I experienced a sense of peace and acceptance. My inner voice assured me everything was ok and to be gentle on myself.
With gratitude Kathy
At first I felt a comforting love for myself and it quickly became a bigger love from everywhere. Thank you, Tara
Loving acceptance, warmth
A sense of gratitude for showing me the path, and gratitude for myself for seeking it and gathering the knowledge to offer a gesture of kindness to myself.
I felt a softening
as i placed my hand over my heart, i felt connection, warmth of my hand, tenderness of touch, access to my inner self. as i expressed words of comfort towards myself, i began to feel an opening in myself and a willingness to hear what was said, an acceptance of the kind words used,
and an allowing of the words to be words.
I felt warm and safe. Thank you Tara ♥️
I hear others’ unkindness toward me afterwards. I feel like loving myself does not counteract others not behaving in a loving way. I have worked with many LPNs and elders and their families and I recently learned that people with dementia react to your face and body signals as much as to your words. I have a long history of fibromyalgia pain and fatigue; I think that other people “read” that in my body, face and voice and that this in particular has been a source of difficulty in connection, in both my professional and personal life. But, I will try to continue with this exercise because I did feel a mild relaxation of my muscles.
Thank you Tara! This has been extremely beneficial and will repeat, repeat, repeat.
I felt an energetic expansion in my heart and the pressure in the top of my head lifted.
Lightness returned & I felt harmonious.
Tara, you are such a great teacher! I hope we can translate it to Spanish so everyone in Argentina could follow you. Every time I do your meditations or listen to your talks, I feel happier.