With my hand physically over my heart I felt a definite warmth, a softening. It was a reminder of the healing power of touch. And saying soothing words to myself at the same time was very beneficial. I want to do this more often.
I noticed how rarely I touch my heart yet it’s always there. You feel a bit strange at first but really you realise this feeling and recognition is at the centre of everything, like the hub of a wheel.
Thank you for the video.Listened to it twice and tried the gesture of kindness each time. It felt a little strange and I know that this will need plenty of practice, and intend to do so.
I understand the importance of this gesture but this time there was no feelin of peace. Just a little frustration that said “Not again. So, back to listening again. It WILL be there! Tom Bailey
I went right into self compassion for all parts of my heart and felt a surge of gratitude and emotion. It surprised me how quickly it happened . Thank you
I am learning to forgive myself for not being able to be a single mom that could handle raising my 3 sons alone, I felt so much shame and guilt. I am forgiving myself knowing the trauma from my childhood caused my lack of confidence to care for myself much less them.
I kind of stink at mindfulness. I find it difficult to be “quiet” enough to focus on the composition of the individual elements of the constant cacophony my mind swirls with. When I put my hand on my heart, I became tense. Rigid. My posture went to stiffly straight up, I started breathing faster and my heart beat accelerated noticeably. I said some words, but it felt like whispering “stop” into an approaching hurricane: futile, and powerless. This gives me a sense of compassion especially for my adolescent clients who find therapy to be kind of pie-in-the-sky, somehow above their capability, impossible to grasp. It also has a sadness/fear/anger/disgust attached to it, connected to my thoughts of lacking leadership qualities necessary to guide clients. Self-compassion needs to be entered into deliberately, gently and with care. Practice makes progress.
So much grief welled up when I touched my heart. I can imagine this is what an abused dog feels like when someone’s finally nice. Except I’m my own abuser (my harsh inner critic and that I allow the same behavior from my spouse).
Hi, with my hand on my heart, my eyes fill with tears, then there is a softening. I want to learn to do this every time things aren’t great (in the heat of the emotion).
Thank you, thank you. ??
Stacey Rose-Blass, Another Field, New York, NY, USAsays
I find it hard to believe myself! It’s just hard to really believe that I am enough no matter how many times OTHER people say it to me. When I say it to me it feels fraudulent. I hope this passes with practice! I know it will since I trust you Tara!
I felt sad that we are often our own worst critics, and that we have such a difficult time getting out of our own way so we can be in the present moment and focus on joy instead of regretting the past or worrying about the future.
I was able to offer metta to myself for the physical pain I’ve been experiencing from an arthritic knee rather than being angry at my body for betraying me with this ailment. I could simply accept the reality and have compassion for the suffering I’ve had for two months.
Disgust exploring how this exercise can be new how comfort toward self can hit on old trauma memories or moments when comfort were greeted with betrayal. For me a reminder to go slow with clients remind them to get curious with their thoughts as well as the gift of remaining present orienting to the now
whenever I place my hand on my heart I have an instant smile on my face. I have done this practice of self support for some years but did not have any thoughts connected. Thanks for your good lessons.
The thought passed by I too am overwhelmed, the physical sense of exhaustion came forth, with a feeling of dismay. The thought took over. Oh not, not now. It’s the beginning of the day. The feeling moved into an anxious apprehension.
The act of kindness was to notice the anxiety and honor the exhaustion so I lay down. Folded hands over the heart felt the throat constrict and gently moved hands up to support that. It became a gesture of relief and release. My stomach gurgled and I feel more energized. The act of kindness was to allow the exhaustion a place to be, flipping overwhelm into rest digest and ahhhh.
My wife and I have seen episode one and appreciated your showing other couples in their disagreements. It’s helped me understand this is a universal problem not just ours. This helped me feel more compassion towards my wife and myself and feel more motivated to stop suffering In this way, And to work amicably in working through the process to relieve that suffering
Namaste
I felt a wave of tenderness, like I could see myself trying very hard and acknowledged all that effort, but also felt some guilt, feeling like I don’t deserve that compassion.
Terri Anonymous, Other, In the prairie , MN, USAsays
I realize that I have never felt compassion toward myself. Ever. While in my 20’s it seems I was able to slide through, busy myself, as I was deep in the parenting mode. So on the outside it appeared I was confident and healthy. It wasn’t until a divorce, children getting older and leaving, was I “left” with myself. To really see what was under all of the hiding. Collateral damage from childhood trauma started to really show up and again I didn’t face it fully. 30 years later, I’m still struggling and I can’t hide anymore so depression has set in because I do not know who I am or how to be so I’m constantly anxious and afraid people will find out who I “really” am and there’s a lot of shame involved. Thank you
I guess, effort. Felt little silly. But realize only because I don’t know how A little fear that I must not have any compassion at all. yikes. Then, sadness. I am here because I want to try, really try. I have listened to your RAIN talks. But never actually truly practiced. I’m a slow study. I will get there.
When I put my hand on my heart to give myself a gentle loving hug, the first thought that came was, “I’m too busy for this.” And this thought was like a lightbulb went on. One of the beliefs, that cause me tremendous suffering is, that I am lonely. Fear of being alone the rest of my life. There is much anger associated with this belief. Angry to my family especially because they are too busy to care. I have too much time, others are too busy, why am I not busier with a project or something therefor it spins into unworthiness and yet, today, this simple gesture I did, brought to light that “I” am too busy for myself.
I remembered that for many years I practiced metta. I don’t know why I stopped and I also this teaching awakened my desire to begin again. May I be happy, healthy, safe and living my life with ease. Thank you Tara
I’ve done Metta meditation before, but never understood how it really embodies our feelings and emotions in such ways. I felts more rewarded and more willing to the practice
Brenda Hunter, Health Education, THOUSAND OAKS, CA, USAsays
Such a sense of gratitude, for the openness and other road to take during distress and times of doubt while appreciating the beauty and peace of all times. As a MMTCP 2021 student I have experienced the changes and learned so much from you, Tara. Thank you.
Though I am a practicing psychologist, I felt the ‘gesture of Kindness practice’ is very helpful for my self care.
Thank you
Nelly
Kimo Welness counseling center , Kenya
Nancy Tucker, Social Work, Fort Worth, TX, USAsays
It is hard to find words of compassion toward myself when trying to offer these gestures of compassion! The few words i did find And expressed i could feel my shoulders and neck relax! Developing words of compassion is challenging! NAT
I am reminded that I am innately a beautiful child of God, born perfect and from total love. My core, my essence, is beautiful and nothing changes that, despite poor decisions, hurtful actions, critical judgements. Nothing takes away that innate beauty from God.
It made me very aware of my self-judgement and fear of others’ judgement.. intentionally meeting that with a gesture of kindness helped me be more open to accepting these feelings…
With my hand physically over my heart I felt a definite warmth, a softening. It was a reminder of the healing power of touch. And saying soothing words to myself at the same time was very beneficial. I want to do this more often.
I noticed how rarely I touch my heart yet it’s always there. You feel a bit strange at first but really you realise this feeling and recognition is at the centre of everything, like the hub of a wheel.
I felt a something like released tension. I will do this exercise now again to try to capture more the sensations. Thank you ??
Raw intense feelings of rage, confusion, Loss of self identity, and shame.
Thank you for the video.Listened to it twice and tried the gesture of kindness each time. It felt a little strange and I know that this will need plenty of practice, and intend to do so.
I understand the importance of this gesture but this time there was no feelin of peace. Just a little frustration that said “Not again. So, back to listening again. It WILL be there! Tom Bailey
Really helpful reiteration. I teach people to do this too and this feels really good . I liked the hand on heart very much.
I went right into self compassion for all parts of my heart and felt a surge of gratitude and emotion. It surprised me how quickly it happened . Thank you
no real feelings per se – just more curiosity
I am learning to forgive myself for not being able to be a single mom that could handle raising my 3 sons alone, I felt so much shame and guilt. I am forgiving myself knowing the trauma from my childhood caused my lack of confidence to care for myself much less them.
… Deep appreciation
for your Motherhood, Dear Dawn
and for the great Love
and great suffering
of a Mother’s Heart.
Bless you Dawn ~ Blessed Be
KahYah ( Single Mother of 3, awakening
right along with you ! )
I felt … am still feeling … a wave of emotion that took me by surprise. If I name the feeling, it would be sadness.
I kind of stink at mindfulness. I find it difficult to be “quiet” enough to focus on the composition of the individual elements of the constant cacophony my mind swirls with. When I put my hand on my heart, I became tense. Rigid. My posture went to stiffly straight up, I started breathing faster and my heart beat accelerated noticeably. I said some words, but it felt like whispering “stop” into an approaching hurricane: futile, and powerless. This gives me a sense of compassion especially for my adolescent clients who find therapy to be kind of pie-in-the-sky, somehow above their capability, impossible to grasp. It also has a sadness/fear/anger/disgust attached to it, connected to my thoughts of lacking leadership qualities necessary to guide clients. Self-compassion needs to be entered into deliberately, gently and with care. Practice makes progress.
Warmth, connection and love
Heart warming.
Feelings of acceptance and love
So much grief welled up when I touched my heart. I can imagine this is what an abused dog feels like when someone’s finally nice. Except I’m my own abuser (my harsh inner critic and that I allow the same behavior from my spouse).
Hi, with my hand on my heart, my eyes fill with tears, then there is a softening. I want to learn to do this every time things aren’t great (in the heat of the emotion).
Thank you, thank you. ??
Feelings of care and love
It’s so important to let go of self blame and judgement to have better relationships
calmness, peace, security, home
I find it hard to believe myself! It’s just hard to really believe that I am enough no matter how many times OTHER people say it to me. When I say it to me it feels fraudulent. I hope this passes with practice! I know it will since I trust you Tara!
I felt sad that we are often our own worst critics, and that we have such a difficult time getting out of our own way so we can be in the present moment and focus on joy instead of regretting the past or worrying about the future.
I was able to offer metta to myself for the physical pain I’ve been experiencing from an arthritic knee rather than being angry at my body for betraying me with this ailment. I could simply accept the reality and have compassion for the suffering I’ve had for two months.
Disgust exploring how this exercise can be new how comfort toward self can hit on old trauma memories or moments when comfort were greeted with betrayal. For me a reminder to go slow with clients remind them to get curious with their thoughts as well as the gift of remaining present orienting to the now
whenever I place my hand on my heart I have an instant smile on my face. I have done this practice of self support for some years but did not have any thoughts connected. Thanks for your good lessons.
feeling of happiness, and aliveness, and pleasure. “Here am I.”
I felt I was being held and accepted as though someone was giving me a hug. I need to practice this more!
The thought passed by I too am overwhelmed, the physical sense of exhaustion came forth, with a feeling of dismay. The thought took over. Oh not, not now. It’s the beginning of the day. The feeling moved into an anxious apprehension.
The act of kindness was to notice the anxiety and honor the exhaustion so I lay down. Folded hands over the heart felt the throat constrict and gently moved hands up to support that. It became a gesture of relief and release. My stomach gurgled and I feel more energized. The act of kindness was to allow the exhaustion a place to be, flipping overwhelm into rest digest and ahhhh.
My wife and I have seen episode one and appreciated your showing other couples in their disagreements. It’s helped me understand this is a universal problem not just ours. This helped me feel more compassion towards my wife and myself and feel more motivated to stop suffering In this way, And to work amicably in working through the process to relieve that suffering
Namaste
I felt a wave of tenderness, like I could see myself trying very hard and acknowledged all that effort, but also felt some guilt, feeling like I don’t deserve that compassion.
sadness due to grief and loss, excitement due to opening a new chapter in my life, concern for loved ones who are struggling right now.
I realize that I have never felt compassion toward myself. Ever. While in my 20’s it seems I was able to slide through, busy myself, as I was deep in the parenting mode. So on the outside it appeared I was confident and healthy. It wasn’t until a divorce, children getting older and leaving, was I “left” with myself. To really see what was under all of the hiding. Collateral damage from childhood trauma started to really show up and again I didn’t face it fully. 30 years later, I’m still struggling and I can’t hide anymore so depression has set in because I do not know who I am or how to be so I’m constantly anxious and afraid people will find out who I “really” am and there’s a lot of shame involved. Thank you
I guess, effort. Felt little silly. But realize only because I don’t know how A little fear that I must not have any compassion at all. yikes. Then, sadness. I am here because I want to try, really try. I have listened to your RAIN talks. But never actually truly practiced. I’m a slow study. I will get there.
When I put my hand on my heart to give myself a gentle loving hug, the first thought that came was, “I’m too busy for this.” And this thought was like a lightbulb went on. One of the beliefs, that cause me tremendous suffering is, that I am lonely. Fear of being alone the rest of my life. There is much anger associated with this belief. Angry to my family especially because they are too busy to care. I have too much time, others are too busy, why am I not busier with a project or something therefor it spins into unworthiness and yet, today, this simple gesture I did, brought to light that “I” am too busy for myself.
I remembered that for many years I practiced metta. I don’t know why I stopped and I also this teaching awakened my desire to begin again. May I be happy, healthy, safe and living my life with ease. Thank you Tara
Thank you. I found a deeper connection with my hurt self which benefits always with acceptance, love and compassion.
I felt a warm feeling pervading my heart, and my belly immediately decontracted as well as my mind was for a moment calmer. Thank you
I’ve done Metta meditation before, but never understood how it really embodies our feelings and emotions in such ways. I felts more rewarded and more willing to the practice
Such a sense of gratitude, for the openness and other road to take during distress and times of doubt while appreciating the beauty and peace of all times. As a MMTCP 2021 student I have experienced the changes and learned so much from you, Tara. Thank you.
Though I am a practicing psychologist, I felt the ‘gesture of Kindness practice’ is very helpful for my self care.
Thank you
Nelly
Kimo Welness counseling center , Kenya
It is hard to find words of compassion toward myself when trying to offer these gestures of compassion! The few words i did find And expressed i could feel my shoulders and neck relax! Developing words of compassion is challenging! NAT
I am reminded that I am innately a beautiful child of God, born perfect and from total love. My core, my essence, is beautiful and nothing changes that, despite poor decisions, hurtful actions, critical judgements. Nothing takes away that innate beauty from God.
A softness, tenderness, kindness towards myself.
It made me very aware of my self-judgement and fear of others’ judgement.. intentionally meeting that with a gesture of kindness helped me be more open to accepting these feelings…
With the brief exercise, I noticed a slowing down of my thoughts and an inner “softening” toward myself.
Feeling of kindness, contentedness, calm centred.
Yes I am doing this practice and a lot of times it is challenging and sadness arises, so I am befriending myself with the sadness
The gesture brings me to tears and tenderness rises?
I felt it was hard to feel kindness to myself. An emptiness and then a thought of your ok..
Warmth & soothing acceptance that things are as they are meant to be … !
With gratitude, thank you Tara.