Very nice and uplifting. Practicing Mindfulness is a great challenge.Thoughts come in through some corner of the mind.I liked the analogy:harsh mind and tender heart and also the metaphor of thoughts as waves. From today I’ll surely practice the gesture of kindness to myself.
Thank you very much for your kind insight. Your room with the greenery is very soothing as also your voice.
When putting my hand on my heart and telling myself “you’re doing really well, be kind to yourself” There seems to be an endless stream of deep healing tears ~*~
When putting my hand on my heart and telling myself “you’re doing really well, be kind to yourself” There seems to be an endless stream of tears ~*~ healing tears
My words of care were “you are enough annie” ….I felt initially a warmth that in time seemed to get bigger and brighter and I felt as if my arms were wide open and capable of massive loving….and I heard an inner voice saying “you are enough, you are way way more then enough” and I could feel the expansion….and then I heard the voice “you’re really exaggerating here, you’re just making this up….” and the image then was of a crouched over creature covered in an old hessian sack….I continued to hold my heart tenderly and this crouched over creature looked around with deeply sorrowful eyes….
Work/Loving in progress 🙂
A sense of sadness and even regret …a feeling of unresolved sadness with fear of fate
Feeling as though the compassion isnt enough
There is too much hurt to ever overcome
Tears emerged
And with the tears a sense of not being alone with suffering
Of being seen
A surprising sense of space and freedom. This was so beautifully and concisely taught, Tara – thank you so much – I already use mindfulness practices with my clients but this is definitely a very useful and specific exercise I will be adding to my tool bag.
Oh my.. I was at a loss of words for myself. I even opened my eyes to see if you were going to tell us ‘what to say to ourselves, how absurd! I laughed at myself and started speaking like I would if I had a client/patient/family or friend in front of me. And it all came together
Thank you Tara
Combining the gesture of care with A sentence Of self care and friendliness Towards myself was new to me and had a very powerful effect. A feeling of warmth and openness in the chest and heart space evolved.
Thank you!!!? Thank you also for the brilliant Concise lecture. I will definitely Bring these three processes and the gesture Into the work with my clients.
Inge from Germany
even this minimal description is helping me to come to terms with over 5500 days of intense exposure to a passive aggressive Narcissist (the whole range: Playing The Victim, Gaslighting, etc)
This was for me personally realising how much I can condemn myself everyday and putting my hand on my heart and saying nice words felt a genuine care for myself. Thank you
My client lives in my body so this was particularly informative to see Tara Beach explain connection between meditation/awareness practice and recovery from patterns – the “RE wiring” through mindfulness making room for self-compassion.
I guess it was because I wasn’t used to it but the only thing I experienced was reluctant self-acceptance maybe I didn’t spend enough time the acceptance mode
Cheryl Haden, Another Field, Sacramento, CA, USAsays
It brought tears to my eyes and I felt so sad that I have not been more kind to my heart, I know that I feel emotions easily, and that I cover my tender feelings with humor or anger to strengthen my hard outer shell and help me feel less vulnerable.
It was hard to accept the feelings as just that, but I did it. When I told myself, I love you, you’re doing good, you are enough, it felt like the child within whispered back “Thank you!” It’s so easy to feel empathy for others, to absorb their grief, but to deal with your own isn’t as easygoing. It will take practice, it will take time to stop the primitive brain and be more connected. Thank you for sharing this gift.
notice the feeling and then name the feelings,
and then be with the feelings and send loving kindness to the self that is hurting and suffering and keep practicing sending compassion and loving kindness to that self that is sad…
over and over and over 100’s and 100’s of times..and then do it again……
Thank you for this. I try to practice mindfulness. During your video and the gesture of Kindness practice, I was able to sense the calm and give myself permission to allow the flood of emotions that have been building from some news recently received.
I felt relief when I told myself I was doing the right thing. I have recently been agonising over whether to leave a job I find draining, with people who don’t appreciate me. I decided to quit to put my health first but am risking the financial security of my partner and I. I am hopeful that trusting my instincts will help me align with my truth – telling myself I had done the right thing made me weep with relief.
I have been using this practice since reading your book, Radical Compassion. I feel a calming in my body, which I am hopeful with practice will help me acheive the peace I am seeking.
Great exercise to care for oneself as we so freely care for others. Will be using this for the many clients that struggle with self love and acceptance of self.
Thank you Tara I find your videos most helpful they are profoundly simple yet very efficacious and I believe developing emotional health is so very important . Thanks again and I look forward to the next video
Thank you for the offering of your wisdom in these videos!
I find the gesture of kindness to be quite powerful for most people including myself. And I find that it is difficult for men to do it. Do you have suggestions for men, especially younger men?
I find that putting my hand on my heart and sending kindness to myself puts me at peace. It transcends thought and relaxes me physically. Makes me feel that this too will pass.
Catherine Johnson, Another Field, Nahant, MA, USAsays
It is amazing that with all the study of psych in the past, understanding doesn’t always confer control over emotions that go back so deeply to childhood. Meta cognition is absolutely the first step, and some are more naturally wire in this respect. Still it is becoming clearer the impact breathing and meditative techniques personally can have on oneself but it is a learning process all it’s own for me.
I have practiced previously these techniques. I found when I did this very brief example with the video I felt ridiculous. I’m guessing this is because I require a deeper state of meditation for it to feel genuine.
I do imagine I will learn ways of incorporating into my teaching self regulation to my preschool students.
Carol Nyberg, Teacher, Pearland, TX, USA says
I started crying and felt great comfort
bubu, Other, IN says
Very nice and uplifting. Practicing Mindfulness is a great challenge.Thoughts come in through some corner of the mind.I liked the analogy:harsh mind and tender heart and also the metaphor of thoughts as waves. From today I’ll surely practice the gesture of kindness to myself.
Thank you very much for your kind insight. Your room with the greenery is very soothing as also your voice.
Sheila Brass, Teacher, CA says
So timely for me. Thnk you.
Sacha Allistone, Counseling, GB says
When putting my hand on my heart and telling myself “you’re doing really well, be kind to yourself” There seems to be an endless stream of deep healing tears ~*~
Sacha Allistone, Counseling, GB says
When putting my hand on my heart and telling myself “you’re doing really well, be kind to yourself” There seems to be an endless stream of tears ~*~ healing tears
Gerrit van Brussel, Psychotherapy, NL says
I use Heart Assisted Therapy (John Diepold)
Anne H, Another Field, IE says
My words of care were “you are enough annie” ….I felt initially a warmth that in time seemed to get bigger and brighter and I felt as if my arms were wide open and capable of massive loving….and I heard an inner voice saying “you are enough, you are way way more then enough” and I could feel the expansion….and then I heard the voice “you’re really exaggerating here, you’re just making this up….” and the image then was of a crouched over creature covered in an old hessian sack….I continued to hold my heart tenderly and this crouched over creature looked around with deeply sorrowful eyes….
Work/Loving in progress 🙂
Jackie, Other, Pittsburgh, PA, USA says
I let out a sigh of relief.
A Connor, Nursing, USA says
A sense of sadness and even regret …a feeling of unresolved sadness with fear of fate
Feeling as though the compassion isnt enough
There is too much hurt to ever overcome
Tears emerged
And with the tears a sense of not being alone with suffering
Of being seen
Angela, Teacher, ZA says
A feeling of relief and excitement at finding a new way of being
Christina West, Counseling, GB says
A surprising sense of space and freedom. This was so beautifully and concisely taught, Tara – thank you so much – I already use mindfulness practices with my clients but this is definitely a very useful and specific exercise I will be adding to my tool bag.
Mary Shannon, Psychotherapy, IE says
A little sadness ..and a connectedness to self
Laura Kostelnik, Other, Boulder, CO, USA says
Oh my.. I was at a loss of words for myself. I even opened my eyes to see if you were going to tell us ‘what to say to ourselves, how absurd! I laughed at myself and started speaking like I would if I had a client/patient/family or friend in front of me. And it all came together
Thank you Tara
Mary Kelly, Teacher, IE says
A softening a self, a tenderness.
Inge Friedrich-rust, Psychotherapy, DE says
Combining the gesture of care with A sentence Of self care and friendliness Towards myself was new to me and had a very powerful effect. A feeling of warmth and openness in the chest and heart space evolved.
Thank you!!!? Thank you also for the brilliant Concise lecture. I will definitely Bring these three processes and the gesture Into the work with my clients.
Inge from Germany
Chrissie Granger, Occupational Therapy, GB says
A warm glow, a smile…
Lindsay Smith, Health Education, GB says
Sense of peace
Leon Brooks, Another Field, AU says
thank you.
even this minimal description is helping me to come to terms with over 5500 days of intense exposure to a passive aggressive Narcissist (the whole range: Playing The Victim, Gaslighting, etc)
Sylvie Lourie, Other, FR says
So true!
Karen Lucas, Other, AU says
This was for me personally realising how much I can condemn myself everyday and putting my hand on my heart and saying nice words felt a genuine care for myself. Thank you
Lorraine M, Another Field, AU says
Putting my hand on my heart and offering care seemed to make “space”. It gave a calmness, almost like a sigh. Thank you.
Geri Olsen says
I would like more ideas and pictures on how to send yourself self caring. …..I don’t experience it very much….
Jim Koehneke, Coach, Shelburne, VT, USA says
The resistance to not letting the self judgment go lessened, and my body softened to allow the OKness of me catch a breath. – Jim in Vermont
sal says
gratitude for having the space to do this work
Linda Havel, USA says
My client lives in my body so this was particularly informative to see Tara Beach explain connection between meditation/awareness practice and recovery from patterns – the “RE wiring” through mindfulness making room for self-compassion.
sal says
flightyness
sal says
so giving support to stay is important
Jill Essenburg, Other, Hudsonville, MI, USA says
I feel really empty when I did this.
Caroline Théberge, Occupational Therapy, CA says
Softness in my back…
Anonymous says
I guess it was because I wasn’t used to it but the only thing I experienced was reluctant self-acceptance maybe I didn’t spend enough time the acceptance mode
Chuck Wise, Another Field, Ellicott City, MD, USA says
I cried….
Simone Suman de Araujo, Psychology, BR says
I feel love and connection without boundaries.
Cheryl Haden, Another Field, Sacramento, CA, USA says
It brought tears to my eyes and I felt so sad that I have not been more kind to my heart, I know that I feel emotions easily, and that I cover my tender feelings with humor or anger to strengthen my hard outer shell and help me feel less vulnerable.
Chris G, Teacher, AU says
It was hard to accept the feelings as just that, but I did it. When I told myself, I love you, you’re doing good, you are enough, it felt like the child within whispered back “Thank you!” It’s so easy to feel empathy for others, to absorb their grief, but to deal with your own isn’t as easygoing. It will take practice, it will take time to stop the primitive brain and be more connected. Thank you for sharing this gift.
Jean Cannon, Another Field, AU says
It was beautiful thank you. ❤️
Ceci LaDuca, Another Field, Tampa, FL, USA says
I felt something in me soften. I felt more relaxed and at peace.
j, Land o Lakes, FL, USA says
notice the feeling and then name the feelings,
and then be with the feelings and send loving kindness to the self that is hurting and suffering and keep practicing sending compassion and loving kindness to that self that is sad…
over and over and over 100’s and 100’s of times..and then do it again……
Cathy B, Counseling, CA says
Thank you for this. I try to practice mindfulness. During your video and the gesture of Kindness practice, I was able to sense the calm and give myself permission to allow the flood of emotions that have been building from some news recently received.
Jen Kat, Other, GB says
I felt relief when I told myself I was doing the right thing. I have recently been agonising over whether to leave a job I find draining, with people who don’t appreciate me. I decided to quit to put my health first but am risking the financial security of my partner and I. I am hopeful that trusting my instincts will help me align with my truth – telling myself I had done the right thing made me weep with relief.
Judith Crawford, CA says
I have been using this practice since reading your book, Radical Compassion. I feel a calming in my body, which I am hopeful with practice will help me acheive the peace I am seeking.
G Shaw, CA says
Great exercise to care for oneself as we so freely care for others. Will be using this for the many clients that struggle with self love and acceptance of self.
Kirstine Keel, Marriage/Family Therapy, Draper, UT, USA says
Wonderful insights that I use with my clients and also my own personal healing. Wonderful to share and thank you.
Elaine Cochrane, Clergy, CA says
Thank you Tara I find your videos most helpful they are profoundly simple yet very efficacious and I believe developing emotional health is so very important . Thanks again and I look forward to the next video
Elaine Cochrane, Clergy, CA says
Peace and a strength that comes from a quiet mind
Char Huber, Stress Management, Denver, CO, USA says
Thank you for the offering of your wisdom in these videos!
I find the gesture of kindness to be quite powerful for most people including myself. And I find that it is difficult for men to do it. Do you have suggestions for men, especially younger men?
Claudia Stewart, Other, CA says
I find that putting my hand on my heart and sending kindness to myself puts me at peace. It transcends thought and relaxes me physically. Makes me feel that this too will pass.
Catherine Johnson, Another Field, Nahant, MA, USA says
It is amazing that with all the study of psych in the past, understanding doesn’t always confer control over emotions that go back so deeply to childhood. Meta cognition is absolutely the first step, and some are more naturally wire in this respect. Still it is becoming clearer the impact breathing and meditative techniques personally can have on oneself but it is a learning process all it’s own for me.
Karen Vollmer-Poseley, Counseling, Sandpoint, ID, USA says
I see my wounded inner child running on the beach that I grew up on in Long Island and she is grateful for my seeking her And nurturing.
Charles Calvert PhD LCCT NP N. L.LMFT. LAT., USA says
Thank you for.your sharing. I have used this technique in the past. I had a. Really great mentor
I have been truly blessed. Thank you for sharing.
Melissa Flores, Teacher, Sacramento, CA, USA says
I have practiced previously these techniques. I found when I did this very brief example with the video I felt ridiculous. I’m guessing this is because I require a deeper state of meditation for it to feel genuine.
I do imagine I will learn ways of incorporating into my teaching self regulation to my preschool students.
Jacob Jaffe, Counseling, Bronx, NY, USA says
Kindness and attention to clients’ needs are important!
Martin Fauth, Fremont, CA, USA says
Hi
I m not a therapist.
When placing my hand over my heart and offering kindness I felt sadness and calmer