First, thank you for your wisdom and blessings. I was filled with tenderness upon hearing your words. I did practice holding my feelings with care and love as you suggested. Embraced in this way, I did belong even in my pain of not being good enough.
Hi Tara,
My partner and I have been dealing with a difficult situation in our relationship. It has been very up and down emotionally and I find myself stepping in to old patterns where I can get angry with partner and then, of course, very much with myself for “losing it”. When I practice offering myself self-love following my angry episodes, rather than self-judgement, I can (literally) feel a softening in my heart toward myself and a recognition that it would be impossible for me to get triggered when I’m in this place of deep self-love and acceptance. The more that I practice offering myself loving kindness, the easier it is for me to go there and the more aware I am when I step off the compassionate path. Thank you for you teachings.
Debi Varland ATR-BC, Another Field, Cincinnati , OH, USAsays
I think this site you a difficult place to be in. When someone has done something specific to hurt someone else may be a different situation that character about self ie excess anger, etc. but overall, I agree that if someone is able to understand the message to the self under the feeling, and practice pause and understanding, they may be able to reach self-forgiveness and increase potential for change. No matter how much we don’t want to be affected by others or even affect others, we do. So understanding how this can be a positive and helpful and not negative, difficult or dependent is important. Thank you Tara for these explanations and free short teachings that are intros to your higher workshops. Thank you
Forgiving yourself and coming to a place where you can better understand what motivates the self loathing is such a complicated process. I appreciate Tara’s approach to engaging in this process.
I love the way you bring mindfulness by asking what has been gained by self-anger or unforgiveness of ourselves. It’s so easy to forget to ask these questions. Thank you.
When I judge myself, I avoid being in company with friends. OR I avoid jumping into the conversations with my opinions, which I am inevitably afraid that they will experience as me being judgmental and so avoid me.
Yehudah Neuman, Social Work, Lakewood, NJ, USAsays
I taught different DBT skills in therapy groups and the one that is most difficult to “sell” is radical acceptance. I appreciated Tara Brach’s insight into the nature of why people hold on to to resentment and how we can help them realize if it is truly helping them achieve their goal.
Margaret O’Reilly Carroll Dublin, Ireland, Health Professional and Psychotherapist
Thank you for a great set of presentations! Short, but clearly presented and integrated theory and practice. I appreciated the lovely case examples which fully demonstrated all the key points and learning.
The exercise of changing my relationship towards myself, holding myself with kindness offers the feeling of opportunity for a difficult relationship to possibly not be severed and end as a way that would have helped me feel more comfortable.
John Porterfield, Psychology, Valley Village, CA, USAsays
I appreciate this being made available. I’m starting my day with Tara’s guided meditations, which is leading to other positive changes – to my surprise, really, but get a good start to the day makes the day good. Thanks.
I’m thinking of my relationship with my son, one instance in particular where I really let him down. I think forgiving myself for this will help me be more secure in our relationship and stop always apologizing and trying to make up for not being the perfect mom. I know that this makes him uncomfortable, so I think we might be able to have a more fun, lighter time together.
Sherry Babb, Stress Management, New York, NY, USAsays
So many of our discomforts stem from avoiding our feelings of guilt, lack, unworthiness. Addictive disorders of all kinds can be healed once an individual takes on the hard tasks of examining these feelings. All the “isms” demonstrate being locked in the chains of avoidance. Thank you for these lessons and any handout from you is greatly appreciated.
Beautiful presentation. Thank you.
I liked your approach. I have taught these steps to many of my clients. However, some if them just don’t buy in and are not yet willing to try on a committed basis. Any suggestions?
Thank you for the opportunity to practice with myself- no matter how long I’ve been at this practice (years!) I had a moment of “oh, right, remember this for yourself”…
In the relationship I was focusing on…it gave me the sense of having freedom and room to go forward and grow more positive interactions between us.
Thanks Tara
Thank You Tara and NICABM for this wonderful series. Forgiveness is a difficult process that, for me, started with Self-Awareness. The slow process of becoming aware of my emotions, feelings, thoughts, and behaviors is an on-going process of learning. This series has helped me explore.
Thank you Tara for contribution to helping us love and accept ourselves, those around us and keeping us mindful of our connection to others. These videos came at the perfect time.
Offering myself self forgiveness in that moment made me feel softer towards myself opened up space so be less harsh/ judgemental with others – thanks Tara x
The primal wound. Living with that feeling of abandonment, rejection, shame is a dark shadow lurking and waiting for those vulnerable moments where it could hurt you and the people you love. I believe that when you acknowledge and fully accept that your past is part of you it can lead to joy. Your past do not define who are . I have been my own enemy for so long. Letting Go and start loving myself is such a great feeling.
Self forgiveness is a process that I have practiced as I gain awareness of how loved I am. Gratitude for what is and trusting that all is working together for good supports this practice for me. I help others gain self forgiveness with similar strategies of tapping into the history and root of the shame and guilt. Being patient with the process is key.
Thank you, that was a wonderful set of talks. It has reminded me of how important self-care is in building or re-building our relationships with ourselves and others.
Tara’s talks are always so helpful in creating a deep awareness of my actions and reactions to situations that arise. She is a wonderful teacher and healer.
When I remember I am not my body, I am not my mind, I am not my thoughts, I am not my emotions that is when I can be an observer of my thoughts and an observer of my emotions and get to decide wheter they are supportive or not. If my thoughts are supportive then I invite them to stay. If they are not supportive then I observe them passing and I invite other thoughts and other emotions. Thank you, Tara Brach!
Thank you, Tara! I find that self-forgiveness leads to a better ability to accept and forgive others. If I can extend grace to myself I can better extend grace to others in a genuine, authentic way.
Powerful moments of self reflection rather than self condemnation. My feelings and thoughts aren’t always true and I can change them.
First, thank you for your wisdom and blessings. I was filled with tenderness upon hearing your words. I did practice holding my feelings with care and love as you suggested. Embraced in this way, I did belong even in my pain of not being good enough.
Tara offers a really helpful and reliable process/strategies, which appear bold and are yet most holding and effective in client work. Thank you.
Excellent videos! Thanks so much!! Very helpfully with my trauma work. Looking forward to the PDF
Thank you, Dr. Brach. I have utilized self-forgiveness exercises with clients and they are very helpful. Thank you.
Excellent videos! Thanks so much!! Very helpfully with my trauma work.
Hi Tara,
My partner and I have been dealing with a difficult situation in our relationship. It has been very up and down emotionally and I find myself stepping in to old patterns where I can get angry with partner and then, of course, very much with myself for “losing it”. When I practice offering myself self-love following my angry episodes, rather than self-judgement, I can (literally) feel a softening in my heart toward myself and a recognition that it would be impossible for me to get triggered when I’m in this place of deep self-love and acceptance. The more that I practice offering myself loving kindness, the easier it is for me to go there and the more aware I am when I step off the compassionate path. Thank you for you teachings.
It’s amazing when I can step into my level and intensity of self judgment almost how embarrassed I am at my critical self.
I think this site you a difficult place to be in. When someone has done something specific to hurt someone else may be a different situation that character about self ie excess anger, etc. but overall, I agree that if someone is able to understand the message to the self under the feeling, and practice pause and understanding, they may be able to reach self-forgiveness and increase potential for change. No matter how much we don’t want to be affected by others or even affect others, we do. So understanding how this can be a positive and helpful and not negative, difficult or dependent is important. Thank you Tara for these explanations and free short teachings that are intros to your higher workshops. Thank you
This resonates deeply with me personally and on behalf of my clients.
It is difficult to forgive myself.
This resonates with me so deeply, both for myself and my clients.
Helped me connect to my heart.
Forgiving yourself and coming to a place where you can better understand what motivates the self loathing is such a complicated process. I appreciate Tara’s approach to engaging in this process.
Erin. R, Toronto Canada
Really great tips
I love the way you bring mindfulness by asking what has been gained by self-anger or unforgiveness of ourselves. It’s so easy to forget to ask these questions. Thank you.
Im not perfect and need to give myself a break.
When I judge myself, I avoid being in company with friends. OR I avoid jumping into the conversations with my opinions, which I am inevitably afraid that they will experience as me being judgmental and so avoid me.
This feels kind and loving and thank you for this practice to share with my clients…
I taught different DBT skills in therapy groups and the one that is most difficult to “sell” is radical acceptance. I appreciated Tara Brach’s insight into the nature of why people hold on to to resentment and how we can help them realize if it is truly helping them achieve their goal.
Amazing insight from Tara. Holding our own being in kindness and genuinely forgiving ourselves is powerful.
Forgiveness can be so hard, but it is vital to moving towards health in all areas of our lives.
That was lovely. Thanks
Thank you Tara. This has been an excellent presentation and reminder of how to Lovingly accept myself. I look forward to your guided meditation.
Margaret O’Reilly Carroll Dublin, Ireland, Health Professional and Psychotherapist
Thank you for a great set of presentations! Short, but clearly presented and integrated theory and practice. I appreciated the lovely case examples which fully demonstrated all the key points and learning.
The exercise of changing my relationship towards myself, holding myself with kindness offers the feeling of opportunity for a difficult relationship to possibly not be severed and end as a way that would have helped me feel more comfortable.
I appreciate this being made available. I’m starting my day with Tara’s guided meditations, which is leading to other positive changes – to my surprise, really, but get a good start to the day makes the day good. Thanks.
I’m thinking of my relationship with my son, one instance in particular where I really let him down. I think forgiving myself for this will help me be more secure in our relationship and stop always apologizing and trying to make up for not being the perfect mom. I know that this makes him uncomfortable, so I think we might be able to have a more fun, lighter time together.
So many of our discomforts stem from avoiding our feelings of guilt, lack, unworthiness. Addictive disorders of all kinds can be healed once an individual takes on the hard tasks of examining these feelings. All the “isms” demonstrate being locked in the chains of avoidance. Thank you for these lessons and any handout from you is greatly appreciated.
Great video. Found it very helpful
Beautiful presentation. Thank you.
I liked your approach. I have taught these steps to many of my clients. However, some if them just don’t buy in and are not yet willing to try on a committed basis. Any suggestions?
Thank you for the opportunity to practice with myself- no matter how long I’ve been at this practice (years!) I had a moment of “oh, right, remember this for yourself”…
In the relationship I was focusing on…it gave me the sense of having freedom and room to go forward and grow more positive interactions between us.
Thanks Tara
I would like to learn more about this subject. I am going to purchase Dr. Brach book.
Thank you
Rosie Holmes, LCSW
The exercise of holding myself with kindness while remembering the guilt and shame surrounding my daughter, really helped.
Genuine self- forgiveness is incredibly challenging when you stumble over the same rock repeatedly.
Love to listen and watch Tara. Her voice is so soothing and comforting to me. I want the handouts of course
Thank you
Thank You Tara and NICABM for this wonderful series. Forgiveness is a difficult process that, for me, started with Self-Awareness. The slow process of becoming aware of my emotions, feelings, thoughts, and behaviors is an on-going process of learning. This series has helped me explore.
The exercise brought tears to my eyes, and the realization, that I had helt this shame for years without aknowledging my pain and grief.
Thank you Tara for contribution to helping us love and accept ourselves, those around us and keeping us mindful of our connection to others. These videos came at the perfect time.
Offering myself self forgiveness in that moment made me feel softer towards myself opened up space so be less harsh/ judgemental with others – thanks Tara x
The primal wound. Living with that feeling of abandonment, rejection, shame is a dark shadow lurking and waiting for those vulnerable moments where it could hurt you and the people you love. I believe that when you acknowledge and fully accept that your past is part of you it can lead to joy. Your past do not define who are . I have been my own enemy for so long. Letting Go and start loving myself is such a great feeling.
Self forgiveness is a process that I have practiced as I gain awareness of how loved I am. Gratitude for what is and trusting that all is working together for good supports this practice for me. I help others gain self forgiveness with similar strategies of tapping into the history and root of the shame and guilt. Being patient with the process is key.
Thank you, that was a wonderful set of talks. It has reminded me of how important self-care is in building or re-building our relationships with ourselves and others.
Tara’s talks are always so helpful in creating a deep awareness of my actions and reactions to situations that arise. She is a wonderful teacher and healer.
When I remember I am not my body, I am not my mind, I am not my thoughts, I am not my emotions that is when I can be an observer of my thoughts and an observer of my emotions and get to decide wheter they are supportive or not. If my thoughts are supportive then I invite them to stay. If they are not supportive then I observe them passing and I invite other thoughts and other emotions. Thank you, Tara Brach!
Thank you, Tara! I find that self-forgiveness leads to a better ability to accept and forgive others. If I can extend grace to myself I can better extend grace to others in a genuine, authentic way.
Thank you so much for your words showing a way towards kindness and transforming emotions.
So helpful. Thank you for this teaching !
Very moving segment, really resonated with shame and guilt I am feeling for self beliefs, unintentional harm to others.