The gesture of kindness & forgiveness extended toward the self (along with a gentle hand on the heart) brings forth such compassion for my own humanity & those before & around me. The softening within me is truly soothing & “being with” myself – all of me – is comforting (& more comfortable!). Thank you.
Thank you, Tara. The simple phrase, It’s not your fault, will contribute to a client starting to forgive themselves. The wise African saying of vengeance is a lazy form of grief, is so evocative of the sadness under anger.
I loved the forgiveness exercise. It’s great to see how sending messages of forgiveness and kindness to yourself can soften the heart and reduce self judgement.
Forgiving myself for a lack of compassion allows me to move forward being more compassionate, without feeling like a fraud or hypocrite, in the future.
Lois Saboe, Another Field, East Norriton, PA, USAsays
I’m afraid if I share my fears with others they’ll worry and get more depressed. I don’t want that added result. It increases the pressure by adding a sense of guilt for causing them distress. That doesn’t help me. I appreciate they care and are already aware of the risk of dementia, but I don’t want to make it a focus when thinking of me. I don’t want to create a self a fulfilling prophecy, unless it is that i was able to avoid it.
I continue to feel a deeper calm and sense of hope as I use these techniques to excavate mySelf from mountain of grief I’ve been living under, and am celebrating an increasing capacity to serve as a clear mirror for others.
With deep appreciation, I look forward to more of your pithy wisdom around awakening from the dream of division from others. . . from my own Self. . .
the sense of being somehow “less-than” who I really am.
I find these videos are an important part to my 15 minutes Mindfulness mornings.
Self compassion is a difficult process and I need to keep reminding myself how it affects my relationships and that feeling unloveable is a deeply rooted feeling from childhood and is not my fault.
Tara, when I first began to see where these painful ways of relating to myself originated, initially and necessarily I became very angry with my early care givers who had abused me, manipulated me, and ultimately shattered me.
I also came to learn that anger is natural while rage is a symptom of PTSD. As I began to understand what PTSD symptoms manifested in my life, I was also more capable of extending compassion to myself for the ways these hurt myself and those I love. Through time and practice, I’ve come to have compassion for the care givers of my youth. I see that they too were deeply wounded people, deeply wounded children, and that they too were victims of abuse; this has been especially true with my mother. When I last saw her, I only wanted her to know that I loved her and that what happened was not her fault. We both cried and I think for the first time I could love the child within me and the child within her. I could, at last, see her innocence.
??❤
Found all three videos exceptional. Saw myself and my relationships in a different light. Saw a way ahead that I want to follow up. Am going to share these videos with my partner as a means for a start to recovery.
Tara’s wisdom and compassion is such a gift to the world. I can see how my self judgement has impacted my life and my relationships. I look forward to practicing these and increasing self acceptance
My first husband was an alcoholic and we were together 19 years. Many times In hindsight I have felt that I should have left him earlier to protect my children from the emotional damage of living with him. I realized today I have never forgiven myself for that.
Jamie
All of the videos were full of valuable information for both helping others and ourselves. There were so many jewels in all of them. . . will watch them again and again and take notes!
Hi TARA
Thank you for the inputs.
My challenge has not been to forgive myself but my partner continues to remind me of my previous failings. It easily takes me back into self doubt and anger.
I feel the only way to break teh cycle is to move on and away from my partner.
Adam
“It is not your fault” was a challenge for me to accept in these excellent, self-organizing videos. To turn this statement to being hurt by someone’s action to
‘it’s not his/her fault’ is not a step I know how to activate in this process. More explanation would be helpful to me.
Tara, these videos are just such a god-send. I awoke this am saying to myself I needed to find some ways to forgive Life in new ways. I needed a fresh perspective because old practices were stale. And presto! In my mailbox was this beautiful work…the three videos are a gift. I am grateful. These will support all of us in living well in these ‘interesting’ and challenging times.
More particularly including self-awareness reflection on thoughts, feelings, body responses are short, precise, and effective. I remembered a family member some years ago being freed from self-condemnation when she realized “she was not her thoughts.”
I also found the comment Vengeance is a lazy form of grief as very powerful and insightful and allows for someone to look at it with a different perspective.
Tara sweetheart, seeing the Asian couple in this third video felt really good. I’m 55 and came to the US when I was 4 and didn’t feel seen. So, thank you so much.
Forgiveness of myself opens my heart and I notice it with my patients as well, allowing for more
freedom and love to flow with others.
With much love to you and nicabm,
Cat from Utah (&now San Diego as well)
Finding a way to forgive all the mistakes and difficulties would be such a weight removed. A weight that presses down on every single interaction in life. For so long now, that weight has exerted itself, even without me realizing it. I need to show up differently for my family. Thank you for these strategies.
Great explanation of self hate and shame as it relates to intimacy. I love the simplistic way you approach it with the 3 basic steps laid out in the videos.
Thank you. This is at the center of many of my clients’ issues. I will bee enhancing my work by incorporating your suggestions and techniques.
With gratitude,
Zehra
Thank you Tara,
“It’s not my fault” a powerful statement, I will carry this thought in my heart as a reminder when I start to believe the thought that it is my fault.
Love and Namaste,
Dana
There’e something about opening the heart to self love and then that allows you to accept love from others- it helps you recognise when others offer you love when you need it.
The gesture of kindness & forgiveness extended toward the self (along with a gentle hand on the heart) brings forth such compassion for my own humanity & those before & around me. The softening within me is truly soothing & “being with” myself – all of me – is comforting (& more comfortable!). Thank you.
Thank you, Tara. The simple phrase, It’s not your fault, will contribute to a client starting to forgive themselves. The wise African saying of vengeance is a lazy form of grief, is so evocative of the sadness under anger.
Powerful, insightful and True <3
I loved the forgiveness exercise. It’s great to see how sending messages of forgiveness and kindness to yourself can soften the heart and reduce self judgement.
Forgiving myself for a lack of compassion allows me to move forward being more compassionate, without feeling like a fraud or hypocrite, in the future.
Really lovely, helpful, clear teaching, thank you so much!
It’s surprising and wonderful that there is this sense of softness, of compassion as I practiced this exercise of placing my hand on my heart.
Really a lovely exercise, especially given this time of collective grief. Thank you. Metta.
I’m afraid if I share my fears with others they’ll worry and get more depressed. I don’t want that added result. It increases the pressure by adding a sense of guilt for causing them distress. That doesn’t help me. I appreciate they care and are already aware of the risk of dementia, but I don’t want to make it a focus when thinking of me. I don’t want to create a self a fulfilling prophecy, unless it is that i was able to avoid it.
Beautiful and heart-warming words.
Lovely Tara . . .
Mahalo Mahalo Mahalo
I continue to feel a deeper calm and sense of hope as I use these techniques to excavate mySelf from mountain of grief I’ve been living under, and am celebrating an increasing capacity to serve as a clear mirror for others.
With deep appreciation, I look forward to more of your pithy wisdom around awakening from the dream of division from others. . . from my own Self. . .
the sense of being somehow “less-than” who I really am.
Great exercises that I will try with clients. So much love.
Thanks for these videos and the words ” It’s not your fault. ” Those words helped me a lot
I find these videos are an important part to my 15 minutes Mindfulness mornings.
Self compassion is a difficult process and I need to keep reminding myself how it affects my relationships and that feeling unloveable is a deeply rooted feeling from childhood and is not my fault.
Tara, when I first began to see where these painful ways of relating to myself originated, initially and necessarily I became very angry with my early care givers who had abused me, manipulated me, and ultimately shattered me.
I also came to learn that anger is natural while rage is a symptom of PTSD. As I began to understand what PTSD symptoms manifested in my life, I was also more capable of extending compassion to myself for the ways these hurt myself and those I love. Through time and practice, I’ve come to have compassion for the care givers of my youth. I see that they too were deeply wounded people, deeply wounded children, and that they too were victims of abuse; this has been especially true with my mother. When I last saw her, I only wanted her to know that I loved her and that what happened was not her fault. We both cried and I think for the first time I could love the child within me and the child within her. I could, at last, see her innocence.
??❤
Found all three videos exceptional. Saw myself and my relationships in a different light. Saw a way ahead that I want to follow up. Am going to share these videos with my partner as a means for a start to recovery.
I’d be more at ease and more open. I imagine I could feel worthy of love and belonging.
Tara’s wisdom and compassion is such a gift to the world. I can see how my self judgement has impacted my life and my relationships. I look forward to practicing these and increasing self acceptance
My first husband was an alcoholic and we were together 19 years. Many times In hindsight I have felt that I should have left him earlier to protect my children from the emotional damage of living with him. I realized today I have never forgiven myself for that.
Jamie
I am feeling very tuched, and a sense of care and warmth in my chest.
Thank you so much Tara!
All of the videos were full of valuable information for both helping others and ourselves. There were so many jewels in all of them. . . will watch them again and again and take notes!
Thank-you Tara for your beautiful soul?
Hi TARA
Thank you for the inputs.
My challenge has not been to forgive myself but my partner continues to remind me of my previous failings. It easily takes me back into self doubt and anger.
I feel the only way to break teh cycle is to move on and away from my partner.
Adam
Very well said regarding the value and requirement of lengthy commitment to the processes — weeks, months, and even years. No quick fixes here!
“It is not your fault” was a challenge for me to accept in these excellent, self-organizing videos. To turn this statement to being hurt by someone’s action to
‘it’s not his/her fault’ is not a step I know how to activate in this process. More explanation would be helpful to me.
Tara, these videos are just such a god-send. I awoke this am saying to myself I needed to find some ways to forgive Life in new ways. I needed a fresh perspective because old practices were stale. And presto! In my mailbox was this beautiful work…the three videos are a gift. I am grateful. These will support all of us in living well in these ‘interesting’ and challenging times.
More particularly including self-awareness reflection on thoughts, feelings, body responses are short, precise, and effective. I remembered a family member some years ago being freed from self-condemnation when she realized “she was not her thoughts.”
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Deborah, Minister, Washington state
Thank you Tara, what a powerful perspective of self compassion and self acceptance, beautiful invitation for real transformation ?
Thank you
I also found the comment Vengeance is a lazy form of grief as very powerful and insightful and allows for someone to look at it with a different perspective.
The guilt was against me and more forgiveness was so delicious in beginning my day! xoxox
thanks Tara.
That came at just the right time.
X
Thank you for this video❤️ The beautiful Wisdom of self-compassion and self-forgiveness to heal and transform relationships.
Thank you so much for making such powerful resources available to all of us! I am so grateful.
Tara sweetheart, seeing the Asian couple in this third video felt really good. I’m 55 and came to the US when I was 4 and didn’t feel seen. So, thank you so much.
Forgiveness of myself opens my heart and I notice it with my patients as well, allowing for more
freedom and love to flow with others.
With much love to you and nicabm,
Cat from Utah (&now San Diego as well)
Thank you Tara. You’re one of my best imaginary friends.
Ginny
Thankyou Tara. Honest, tender and accessible.
I loved the three videos! So many golden nuggets to use personally and within my practice! Breathing freer!
Made me feel more open and free…
More intimacy and connectedness through less judgement.
Self-forgiveness would allow myself and my clients to show up the way we really intend to.
Finding a way to forgive all the mistakes and difficulties would be such a weight removed. A weight that presses down on every single interaction in life. For so long now, that weight has exerted itself, even without me realizing it. I need to show up differently for my family. Thank you for these strategies.
I really enjoyed the three series Tara you have a wonderful presence and spirit
Very powerful practices! And very accessible. Thank you!
Thank you.
A feeling of sadness and regret.
Great video
Thank you for This insight.
Helpful – thank you. Good to get in touch with the underlying pain.
Great explanation of self hate and shame as it relates to intimacy. I love the simplistic way you approach it with the 3 basic steps laid out in the videos.
The phrase of “Vengeance is a xx form of grief” shook me. It was powerful. Being aware of it makes people at ease.
Thank you. This is at the center of many of my clients’ issues. I will bee enhancing my work by incorporating your suggestions and techniques.
With gratitude,
Zehra
Thank you Tara,
“It’s not my fault” a powerful statement, I will carry this thought in my heart as a reminder when I start to believe the thought that it is my fault.
Love and Namaste,
Dana
There’e something about opening the heart to self love and then that allows you to accept love from others- it helps you recognise when others offer you love when you need it.