Thank you, Tara. For years now, I incorporated this witnessing and grounded the gesture of kindness in my journaling practice. I feel so much gratitude and gladness knowing that it is never too late to be seen, heard and embraced by our own Self-Love.
Yes, I adopted my orphaned self. It made all the difference. I linger in self acceptance and love in meditation. Good video. Thank you for breaking it down.
Dear Tar Brach, As always your clear wise integrated words are so soothing. I am in a time of Post Trauma Growth. I would like to share another ” gesture of kindness” practice, I discovered during this time. The hand on heart gesture is often helpful and then there are been moment when I a integrating a very old implicit memory that was a painful experience from my childhood, and I feel ready to be with the feelings, remaining aware of the importance of what Dr, Peter Levine calls “titration” or in your metaphor very small waves as I can be with them. In those moments , my system is managing the tension between safety and overwhelm. Back to my additional gesture: to have a metaphorical caring person, or image available. My person is Glenda, the good witch of the North. I also have 3 steps: 1. Pause, mindfully notice all feelings 2. Remind myself that Glenda is there to help me 3. Breathe, and allow Glenda’s kind presence into my awareness and listen to her words. I often feel warm soothing sensations as I do this, and then deep grief for the pain and the loss of so many moments of my life. Now, I am beginning to feel grateful for being alive and having new moments that I may feel whole and perhaps joy. Thank you, Esther
There is just a slowing down and relaxing. It was like taking a deep breath or soaking in a hot bath. I do a similar practice with my clients, but I need to include it more routinely into my practice. I like that she connected to the brain in a simple way.
The gesture of kindness made me tear up immediately. I felt a deep sense of grief, but also vulnerability and tenderness. I sensed a fragile glimpse of a presence inside of me that might have been my hurt inner child?
A feeling of relief resulted from knowing that there are ways to end self criticism. The statement “we are not our thoughts” is a very empowering perspective, and I plan to emphasize this with my clients who are plagued with endless self criticism.
I felt a profound quiet and felt in touch with my inner child and loved her tenderly. Thank you Tara. I absolutely love seeing you and listening to you. You model these wonderful qualities by your eyes, your voice, your laugh. My life is slowly, but truly changing.
Dianne
Very helpful, validating and comforting to treat myself this way.
Also, simply acknowledging suffering is quite significant separate from the turmoil of the feelings themselves. Key, I think, to discovering some freedom.
Tara is brilliant and so clear once again. Extraordinary, wise, and helpful.
putting the hand on the heart area and closing the eyes felt calming, tender, but the thought, memory, of something I disliked about myself was ‘pushing’ through into the space of calm, and that was somewhat discouraging
Conceptually easy, in reality difficult to observe my own thoughts. I mean I reflect of things Ive done or said, and am aware of my thoughts, but I am not sure exactly if what I do already qualifies. I wonder if I might be ‘overprocessing’ my thoughts, which could lead to a vicious circle.
The feelings that came during the gesture of kindness were a deep sense of grief and a lack of connection. “This is suffering” ; and once we are able to acknowledge this truth, it allows an openness in ourselves so that then self compassion can enter the picture.
To teach our clients to detach from and be aware of their thoughts first helps them realise that these are just thoughts and they don’t have to listen to them all.
The second part, teaching them to bear with their feelings and to tolerate them, without judging themselves for the feelings they are having at this moment, opens a door for them to what is underneath them: hurt, sadness, grief, separation. Then, they can realise, while sitting with them, that just as with waves or sounds, they will appear and then vanish, if they can wait long enough.
Finally, with their hand on their heart, they can re-connect with that deep wounded part of themselves, offering that part the care and kindness it needs, by whispering soothing and kind words to it.
They can then be open to the suffering knowing that they will be better able to cope with it, to navigate through it in order to finally move out of it.
We need to remember though that this is a process and we will need to keep repeating it over time, so that; with time, it becomes easier and easier.
It brought a smile to my face as I became my best caring friend for myself but now I didn’t just say it.
I believed it and the smile stayed with me.
Thank you,
That was so powerful and yet only a three step process but a big change maker.
Oh yes, it’s a very helpful exercise. I’ m in the process to do it, hundreds of time and very often I doubt and then I do it again and it leads me always to the wonderful result to soften, to harmonize inside. But sometimes I want to have a situation where the work has been done … and then I ll have to start again. It’s a long way … and the feelings return again and again ….
With love
Danielle
I felt expanded and calmer. I can teach my family members and friends to use it whenever they feel inadecuate, anxious, angry, or at war with themselves and others
This practice really hit home for me! I’m going to be more observant of how I feel, why I might feel that way and tell myself this too will pass like the waves! I think the biggest feeling I have is fear of trusting others with my love especially in relationships. I am going to practice this often!
Kinder, more welcoming Yes to life -Yes to love, to the good and beautiful – to what’s precious and to be treasured. Yes learning to befriend and tend what is terribly upsetting. Amazing. Use – to keep this teaching in heart and mind throughout the whole day. (maybe more comfortably be awake and able to sleep)
Wow – to live more fully, more kindly. not bad for this old lady Thank you Tara for this teaching. Wow This matters.
I loved watching these short snippets. My husband sat with me and we watched together, and noticed correlations with details in another book we are reading together. Thank you Tara, for providing these bite-sized opportunities to learn about our daily relationships! And thanks to Ruth for persisting in bringing forward useful and relevant material.
Social Anxiety! My feelings of inadequacy! I covered these with busy ego centered activities that made me very successful but after retirement feeling empty, especially with the loss of a lifetime relationship. Struggling to survive emotionally is my challenge now. I AM Growing into seeking Relationship! With ME first! David.
Feeling that there is a lot of work that needs to be done to change. Sharing with others-the importance of commitment to the intetion of following the practice, as a vessel for change into a more happy, open, grateful and understanding self.
I see and feet he little girl, me.
Beautiful. What a way to live and practice. Our world would experience so much more peace and positivity if we learned to live this way
Hand over heart … truly a helping hand. A wave of peace and warmth.
Feelings of love and care.
I found myself having to focus and listen to what I was saying to my “self”
Gentleness,
Calmness,
A feelingof caring
Thank you, Tara. For years now, I incorporated this witnessing and grounded the gesture of kindness in my journaling practice. I feel so much gratitude and gladness knowing that it is never too late to be seen, heard and embraced by our own Self-Love.
Thanks for these videos, I’m really enjoying them
I became very emotional, teared up. It’s triggering to show myself love and kindness for some sad and confounding reason.
Enjoyed the information in first video and can see the self contentment in myself and some of my clients came to mind.
I am feeling hope for a change within me.
Yes, I adopted my orphaned self. It made all the difference. I linger in self acceptance and love in meditation. Good video. Thank you for breaking it down.
Dear Tar Brach, As always your clear wise integrated words are so soothing. I am in a time of Post Trauma Growth. I would like to share another ” gesture of kindness” practice, I discovered during this time. The hand on heart gesture is often helpful and then there are been moment when I a integrating a very old implicit memory that was a painful experience from my childhood, and I feel ready to be with the feelings, remaining aware of the importance of what Dr, Peter Levine calls “titration” or in your metaphor very small waves as I can be with them. In those moments , my system is managing the tension between safety and overwhelm. Back to my additional gesture: to have a metaphorical caring person, or image available. My person is Glenda, the good witch of the North. I also have 3 steps: 1. Pause, mindfully notice all feelings 2. Remind myself that Glenda is there to help me 3. Breathe, and allow Glenda’s kind presence into my awareness and listen to her words. I often feel warm soothing sensations as I do this, and then deep grief for the pain and the loss of so many moments of my life. Now, I am beginning to feel grateful for being alive and having new moments that I may feel whole and perhaps joy. Thank you, Esther
There is just a slowing down and relaxing. It was like taking a deep breath or soaking in a hot bath. I do a similar practice with my clients, but I need to include it more routinely into my practice. I like that she connected to the brain in a simple way.
I felt a sense of calm and peacefulness. Thank you.
The gesture of kindness made me tear up immediately. I felt a deep sense of grief, but also vulnerability and tenderness. I sensed a fragile glimpse of a presence inside of me that might have been my hurt inner child?
I am felt secure like the 9 year old boy who lost his mother with cancer and hugged him.
A feeling of relief resulted from knowing that there are ways to end self criticism. The statement “we are not our thoughts” is a very empowering perspective, and I plan to emphasize this with my clients who are plagued with endless self criticism.
I felt a profound quiet and felt in touch with my inner child and loved her tenderly. Thank you Tara. I absolutely love seeing you and listening to you. You model these wonderful qualities by your eyes, your voice, your laugh. My life is slowly, but truly changing.
Dianne
I don’t currently have clients.
Very helpful, validating and comforting to treat myself this way.
Also, simply acknowledging suffering is quite significant separate from the turmoil of the feelings themselves. Key, I think, to discovering some freedom.
Tara is brilliant and so clear once again. Extraordinary, wise, and helpful.
putting the hand on the heart area and closing the eyes felt calming, tender, but the thought, memory, of something I disliked about myself was ‘pushing’ through into the space of calm, and that was somewhat discouraging
Nice sense of light and sweetness into me .
I felt a huge heavy feeling of greef. And startet crying
Conceptually easy, in reality difficult to observe my own thoughts. I mean I reflect of things Ive done or said, and am aware of my thoughts, but I am not sure exactly if what I do already qualifies. I wonder if I might be ‘overprocessing’ my thoughts, which could lead to a vicious circle.
Sadness
The feelings that came during the gesture of kindness were a deep sense of grief and a lack of connection. “This is suffering” ; and once we are able to acknowledge this truth, it allows an openness in ourselves so that then self compassion can enter the picture.
To teach our clients to detach from and be aware of their thoughts first helps them realise that these are just thoughts and they don’t have to listen to them all.
The second part, teaching them to bear with their feelings and to tolerate them, without judging themselves for the feelings they are having at this moment, opens a door for them to what is underneath them: hurt, sadness, grief, separation. Then, they can realise, while sitting with them, that just as with waves or sounds, they will appear and then vanish, if they can wait long enough.
Finally, with their hand on their heart, they can re-connect with that deep wounded part of themselves, offering that part the care and kindness it needs, by whispering soothing and kind words to it.
They can then be open to the suffering knowing that they will be better able to cope with it, to navigate through it in order to finally move out of it.
We need to remember though that this is a process and we will need to keep repeating it over time, so that; with time, it becomes easier and easier.
I care about myself and compassionate in my feelings and thoughts. What a simple act to create a big difference!
It brought a smile to my face as I became my best caring friend for myself but now I didn’t just say it.
I believed it and the smile stayed with me.
Thank you,
That was so powerful and yet only a three step process but a big change maker.
Oh yes, it’s a very helpful exercise. I’ m in the process to do it, hundreds of time and very often I doubt and then I do it again and it leads me always to the wonderful result to soften, to harmonize inside. But sometimes I want to have a situation where the work has been done … and then I ll have to start again. It’s a long way … and the feelings return again and again ….
With love
Danielle
sadness
I felt expanded and calmer. I can teach my family members and friends to use it whenever they feel inadecuate, anxious, angry, or at war with themselves and others
I need to do this more, to feel the love that I can give to myself, and to know that I am okay just for being me.
I felt deeply touched and seen.
This gives me such insight and hope, thank you so much 🙏
This practice really hit home for me! I’m going to be more observant of how I feel, why I might feel that way and tell myself this too will pass like the waves! I think the biggest feeling I have is fear of trusting others with my love especially in relationships. I am going to practice this often!
well, when I put my Hand on my heart and tell myself that I understand then I am very deeply toched and I feel understod.
I feel seen from myself
A soothing feeling came over and I felt a heightened sense of a self freed from heavyness.
A sense of peace arose-I found no resistance which I have sometimes felt for Meta type exercises.
Can this technique be used./advised for people who have had significant traumas?
Hard to be kind to self but it feels good
Recognition of when I can be kind
I felt surprisingly touched by the touch in the brief gesture of self care. It shifted and softened some hard psychic edge.
Kinder, more welcoming Yes to life -Yes to love, to the good and beautiful – to what’s precious and to be treasured. Yes learning to befriend and tend what is terribly upsetting. Amazing. Use – to keep this teaching in heart and mind throughout the whole day. (maybe more comfortably be awake and able to sleep)
Wow – to live more fully, more kindly. not bad for this old lady Thank you Tara for this teaching. Wow This matters.
Feelings of love and support and kindness for myself. I will practice to to this more often 💛
I loved watching these short snippets. My husband sat with me and we watched together, and noticed correlations with details in another book we are reading together. Thank you Tara, for providing these bite-sized opportunities to learn about our daily relationships! And thanks to Ruth for persisting in bringing forward useful and relevant material.
I don’t have clients. I have deep connections with others and more accepting of others than I am of myself. I tend to think of others before myself.
Social Anxiety! My feelings of inadequacy! I covered these with busy ego centered activities that made me very successful but after retirement feeling empty, especially with the loss of a lifetime relationship. Struggling to survive emotionally is my challenge now. I AM Growing into seeking Relationship! With ME first! David.
Feeling that there is a lot of work that needs to be done to change. Sharing with others-the importance of commitment to the intetion of following the practice, as a vessel for change into a more happy, open, grateful and understanding self.
Pain, sadness, hopelessness. We will do this practice daily. We love you Tara, will you officiate our wedding?
Thanks for the timely reminder.