Thank you for your wise guidance and speaking to the soul…in such a way that self-kindness is a possibility, rather than a good idea to practise but not always feel !
An inner (and outer) smile appeared quickly, connecting with my inner child. It felt like seen me. I do this with meditation groups as a practice of selfcompassion.
The feelings of loving and holding my inner child appeared almost immediately after placing my hand over my heart area. I realize how many clients need support to offer to their inner children — something that was supposed to be provided during their formative years— but it was not possible to attain..Hope, light and transformations leading to more love will definitely follow. I also noted my inner smile appeared and became an outer smile. Loved them both— as they more truly express me, my inner strengths and desires linked with my nature. Thank you so very much.
I told myself: “I love you, you are wonderful”. The prickle of tears of happiness from unconditional acceptance was immediately softening and warm and fuzzy, and I feel able to go forward and take on a big change that’s happening today. But even if I was walking the dog and doing the school run, that warm
Feeling would accompany me
Tara, all this is beautiful and helpful. For me, and my process to shift, I discovered long ago that all the intense self-loathing was based on messages from others (and not based in any truth whatsoever)……. and because, I am truly love, the judgment and labels disappeared. You could say it is a shift based on reasoning once I accepted the spiritual truth of who I am. If I were to judge myself, I know I am believing a lie because I am not unworthy, not shame-based, not stupid, not unlovable, etc. At the core of this process for me, is that because I am mindful and aware, I can rewrite the internal messages and reinforce the positive ones until they become the new truth of ME. So number one is central to the process of shifting to a higher authentic identity. Blessings, Terry
As I gave words of support to myself I sensed a voice of negativity almost wanting to contradict the praise I was giving myself. It made me realize there is still a small part of me not feeling enough.
I know my heart is full of love, but feel like it’s encased in a block of ice. Can’t get that ice to melt. In my mind I know I should be enough, but my heart doesn’t yet agree.
ROSEMARY KIRCHGESSNER, Counseling, Fresno, CA, USAsays
The feelings that came up for me are that the more compassionate I am able to be with myself the deeper my connections will become with others. I realize I have work to do on/for myself.
My gesture of kindness, as I put my hand over my heart and tried to talk to that frightened inner child. I felt myself becoming that frightened inner child like there’s no safety, I experienced a sharp rise in anxiety and my eyes opened, it was a very brief exercise.
I noticed a feeling of impatience and realized I need to slow myself down often and be more mindful. I use an Internal Family Systems approach and try to remember to tell the parts of myself that I have done a good job and I am proud of myself, especially when I get impatient with myself. Teens and children I work with especially like to place their hands on their hearts and say something kind to themselves. Great technique:)
Placing my hand lightly on my heart I recognize I am not very compassionate with myself. I breathed in compassion and allowed love to love me. I am committing to be much less demanding and much more gentle with myself!
BRIAN STEPPACHER, Other, South Portland, ME, USAsays
How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43)
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
1806 –1861
“…I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light….”
Christy Draper, Another Field, Pensacola, FL, USAsays
Sometimes when I am leading a loving kindness meditation I choke up because I feel a sense of imposter syndrome. I want to be an effective leader and in order to do that I need to work on loving myself better.
Helene Longden, Social Work, Falls Church, VA, USAsays
I felt that my judgement of feeling scared about recovery from serious neurological issues turned to thoughts of it’s normal to be scared and then to a nurturing of how strong I actually am.
Hi Tara ,
Thanks for your precious videos.
I follow you all the time in your podcasts and it’s very helpful.
In this exercise, I felt softness and with my eyes closed I saw the sun.
Just amazing in such a short practice.
Thank you
Michele
Thank you for a great video. I was grateful to feel some appreciation and relief in the gesture of kindness today, but I know it would not have always been the case. Below is how I have been able to make it work for me.
“I get more room for the waves in a different way” > I find it helpful to relate to feelings without using words. I have found that words make me experience more intense thoughts and also create additional stress when I am trying to experience feelings. In the past my ‘worst experiences’ were the ones triggered by therapists or coaches asking; ‘What color is this? What shape is your feeling? Can you put a name on it? “. If I have the space to experience the feeling as a pre-word inner thing, it calms me down. From this new place, I can try to create helpful labels and explanations.
I instantly felt that I was right there with myself. It was reassuring to hear myself say. “I see your struggle”. I didn’t need to pretend I was okay. Naming it helped. I told myself “we can get through this and it’ll be okay” Overall I can see I don’t need to hide my suffering.
Feelings … decreased Heart beat, easier breath, softening of the body and I began to dance, tears , space, increased awareness of the feeling of just being in the moment. Gratitude
The gesture of kindness. I felt a swirl of energy, feelings, emotions (energy moving, motion/movement) like a spinning in my heart; my eyes teared up with warmth and gratitude.
If I were still working clients, I would actually lead them in this meditation – a gesture of kindness & self care- as part of the meditation and yoga classes I used to lead.
Much Gratitude to you for this Tara. Thank you ,
Christopher Crumb
This is an amazing caring & sharing video. I love the processes & information regarding the effects on our brain.
I love the gesture of kindness to oneself & will use it daily when I hear my self critic, it’s beautiful & as a very enriched impact! Thank you, I really appreciate all that you gave shared I am feeling very greatful.
This 3 step meditative framework is extremely useful to navigate through emotions. In particular, step 2 is key because, as you said, by naming and labeling the emotion, it allows the thinking part of the brain, the pre-frontal cortex to be activated, which in turn, calms down the limbic system, thus calming our heightened emotions. With step 3, I found, the gesture of kindness exercise, helped further instill a sense of calm and comfort. Step 3 provided a release of the self-judgment and self-criticism and brought in a sense of peace.
Aww Tara,
Really found in this moment of hand on heart, my sense of softening in the body, a single tear, nd ‘aww Gwennie’ this practice has been so helpful… I own too when first practiced it was mechanical nd self compassion alien.
In disclosure to clients I have found more people willing to experiment with this.. thank you for this series of videos 🙏🌻
I am living a time of openness towards others and the world around me and I’m experiencing beautiful connections and trust.
The rigidity and mistrust show up sometimes and make me question myself and my process.
As I placed a hand on my heart, my eyes swelled with tears for the harsh judgement I apply to myself and others at times. And then I realised that I can now see the patterns and acknowledge them, I am not engaging with them and giving way to rants and such.
It felt like a big shift. 💛
Thank you for your wise guidance and speaking to the soul…in such a way that self-kindness is a possibility, rather than a good idea to practise but not always feel !
Nice exercise at the end. Practical.
An inner (and outer) smile appeared quickly, connecting with my inner child. It felt like seen me. I do this with meditation groups as a practice of selfcompassion.
A feeling of warmth, happiness and security
I found this helpful and instructive. Thanks for sharing it free of charge….. much appreciated.
Peaceful, aah ha, release.
The feelings of loving and holding my inner child appeared almost immediately after placing my hand over my heart area. I realize how many clients need support to offer to their inner children — something that was supposed to be provided during their formative years— but it was not possible to attain..Hope, light and transformations leading to more love will definitely follow. I also noted my inner smile appeared and became an outer smile. Loved them both— as they more truly express me, my inner strengths and desires linked with my nature. Thank you so very much.
Feelings of comfort, relief and gratitude.
A warmth and contact with life. Rewarding.
I immediately felt a softness and like an inner smile for myself and my heart felt restored, after an earlier upset in the day. Thank you
I experienced a deep but subtle shift in my heart chakra accompanied by self-love.
A sense of warmth felt comforting, my shoulders relaxed, my chest began to ease in tension. I felt a sense of relief arise.
I told myself: “I love you, you are wonderful”. The prickle of tears of happiness from unconditional acceptance was immediately softening and warm and fuzzy, and I feel able to go forward and take on a big change that’s happening today. But even if I was walking the dog and doing the school run, that warm
Feeling would accompany me
A sense of distance, it helped me notice how much of me is thinking, thinking, thinking. It was nice to connect, to just be.
I felt an inner smile at being acknowledged.
Tara, all this is beautiful and helpful. For me, and my process to shift, I discovered long ago that all the intense self-loathing was based on messages from others (and not based in any truth whatsoever)……. and because, I am truly love, the judgment and labels disappeared. You could say it is a shift based on reasoning once I accepted the spiritual truth of who I am. If I were to judge myself, I know I am believing a lie because I am not unworthy, not shame-based, not stupid, not unlovable, etc. At the core of this process for me, is that because I am mindful and aware, I can rewrite the internal messages and reinforce the positive ones until they become the new truth of ME. So number one is central to the process of shifting to a higher authentic identity. Blessings, Terry
Hard but I did feel a lift for those moments.
Challenging at first but then started to feel warmth.
I felt a sense of rightness and peace, but a small voice was chirping that you don’t get off so easily. Practice is much needed.
As I gave words of support to myself I sensed a voice of negativity almost wanting to contradict the praise I was giving myself. It made me realize there is still a small part of me not feeling enough.
I know my heart is full of love, but feel like it’s encased in a block of ice. Can’t get that ice to melt. In my mind I know I should be enough, but my heart doesn’t yet agree.
The feelings that came up for me are that the more compassionate I am able to be with myself the deeper my connections will become with others. I realize I have work to do on/for myself.
Thank you ✨️
Ii need to practice your suggestions
My gesture of kindness, as I put my hand over my heart and tried to talk to that frightened inner child. I felt myself becoming that frightened inner child like there’s no safety, I experienced a sharp rise in anxiety and my eyes opened, it was a very brief exercise.
A sense of ease
It felt very foreign although to offer it to others feels natural
I noticed a feeling of impatience and realized I need to slow myself down often and be more mindful. I use an Internal Family Systems approach and try to remember to tell the parts of myself that I have done a good job and I am proud of myself, especially when I get impatient with myself. Teens and children I work with especially like to place their hands on their hearts and say something kind to themselves. Great technique:)
Placing my hand lightly on my heart I recognize I am not very compassionate with myself. I breathed in compassion and allowed love to love me. I am committing to be much less demanding and much more gentle with myself!
How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43)
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
1806 –1861
“…I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light….”
Sometimes when I am leading a loving kindness meditation I choke up because I feel a sense of imposter syndrome. I want to be an effective leader and in order to do that I need to work on loving myself better.
Wondering if it can go deep enough…
I felt that my judgement of feeling scared about recovery from serious neurological issues turned to thoughts of it’s normal to be scared and then to a nurturing of how strong I actually am.
This was a lovely video! I believe it will go nicely with parts work and learning to love all parts of the self. Thank you.
I’m learning that my thoughts aren’t necessarily mine and I’m fact came out of my past conditioning.
it brought me in touch with my sadness and grief. There is only acknowledgement.
This brings us closer to our own truth. This to share with clients.
Feelings of compassion and tenderness to my wounded self.
Hi Tara ,
Thanks for your precious videos.
I follow you all the time in your podcasts and it’s very helpful.
In this exercise, I felt softness and with my eyes closed I saw the sun.
Just amazing in such a short practice.
Thank you
Michele
Thank you for a great video. I was grateful to feel some appreciation and relief in the gesture of kindness today, but I know it would not have always been the case. Below is how I have been able to make it work for me.
“I get more room for the waves in a different way” > I find it helpful to relate to feelings without using words. I have found that words make me experience more intense thoughts and also create additional stress when I am trying to experience feelings. In the past my ‘worst experiences’ were the ones triggered by therapists or coaches asking; ‘What color is this? What shape is your feeling? Can you put a name on it? “. If I have the space to experience the feeling as a pre-word inner thing, it calms me down. From this new place, I can try to create helpful labels and explanations.
I instantly felt that I was right there with myself. It was reassuring to hear myself say. “I see your struggle”. I didn’t need to pretend I was okay. Naming it helped. I told myself “we can get through this and it’ll be okay” Overall I can see I don’t need to hide my suffering.
I think I’m too far gone to be helped. It feels fake
Feelings … decreased Heart beat, easier breath, softening of the body and I began to dance, tears , space, increased awareness of the feeling of just being in the moment. Gratitude
I relate to all that was shared. unworthy comes up with certain people so need to continuethe work on transforming my relationship with myself
The gesture of kindness. I felt a swirl of energy, feelings, emotions (energy moving, motion/movement) like a spinning in my heart; my eyes teared up with warmth and gratitude.
If I were still working clients, I would actually lead them in this meditation – a gesture of kindness & self care- as part of the meditation and yoga classes I used to lead.
Much Gratitude to you for this Tara. Thank you ,
Christopher Crumb
I feel more open hearted, lighter, free-er
This is an amazing caring & sharing video. I love the processes & information regarding the effects on our brain.
I love the gesture of kindness to oneself & will use it daily when I hear my self critic, it’s beautiful & as a very enriched impact! Thank you, I really appreciate all that you gave shared I am feeling very greatful.
Very helpful. Thank you.
This 3 step meditative framework is extremely useful to navigate through emotions. In particular, step 2 is key because, as you said, by naming and labeling the emotion, it allows the thinking part of the brain, the pre-frontal cortex to be activated, which in turn, calms down the limbic system, thus calming our heightened emotions. With step 3, I found, the gesture of kindness exercise, helped further instill a sense of calm and comfort. Step 3 provided a release of the self-judgment and self-criticism and brought in a sense of peace.
Aww Tara,
Really found in this moment of hand on heart, my sense of softening in the body, a single tear, nd ‘aww Gwennie’ this practice has been so helpful… I own too when first practiced it was mechanical nd self compassion alien.
In disclosure to clients I have found more people willing to experiment with this.. thank you for this series of videos 🙏🌻
Pain, sadness, wouldn’t really open up….
I am living a time of openness towards others and the world around me and I’m experiencing beautiful connections and trust.
The rigidity and mistrust show up sometimes and make me question myself and my process.
As I placed a hand on my heart, my eyes swelled with tears for the harsh judgement I apply to myself and others at times. And then I realised that I can now see the patterns and acknowledge them, I am not engaging with them and giving way to rants and such.
It felt like a big shift. 💛
I found giving myself self love challenging.
Touched by your honesty, it does take perseverance nd curiosity to gently tease this open, 🙏🌻