The harsh judge/critic: leading to feelings of “not enough” and shame, anxiety, inadequacy, naming these emotions and then feeling the sensation around my heart move on by allowing the breath to flow over the sensations like a warm blanket or a cuddle from my labradoodle
I learned self compassion through multiple promptings to remember how I comforted my small children when they made a mistake or whatever, really remember how it felt to embrace and comfort them with compassion. Then the challenge was to learn to do that for myself.
Sally Oriole, Another Field, Kensington, MD, USAsays
I have no idea of what a “message of care” or a gesture of love to myself would look like. “poor baby”? it seems like whatever it was would feel ironic or fake or forced and impossible to believe. because acknowledging the suffering is fine but it doesn’t solve the feeling that I deserve the suffering.
That I am not all bad and I will make mistakes and learn from these.
A feeling of responding to myself, meeting myself and wanting to care more for myself.
Hand on my heart is very calming and there is a nice glowing, warming feeling connected to it. I naturally take a deeper and fuller breath with my hand on my heart.
The physical gesture of hand on heart paired with an acknowledgment that I’m hurting with kind words/thoughts that follow is a practice I intend to engage in daily. I really appreciated the suggestion.
I find awakening in the morning, that
I have a feeling of anxiety. Oftentimes listening to your podcasts sets my mind on a different path of being kind to myself and my spouse. After sitting with my breathing and putting my hand to my heart I feel settled and accepting as well as grateful for my many blessings.
Thank you for your generous teachings. During your video I was acutely aware of my own reality..like Elaine I have lived in fear shame and lack of self love for many years. Though I muddled through while performing as a ” nice” person I often felt like a victim. I have been studying and practicing mindfulness for last 3 years.
your video brought clear to me that I can ” care” for my person .
The gesture of self care felt so good and loving. I didn’t want to take my hand away. I can see how practicing just that would be a game changer in my life. Thank you Tara
Michael Hodor, Another Field, Playa Del Rey, CA, USAsays
It feels like an a gift from within myself to be able to tend to myself lovingly. For me, the recent end to a very significant relationship has left me in a seemingly perpetual state of grief and sadness that lay just beneath the surface each day. Now, when the waves of grief begin to rise up, I’m using gestures of self-care and mindfulness to sort of see myself through to the other side of the emotions. I can’t know how many times this will reoccur in the coming months; especially as the holidays approach. But I believe in the power within me to rewire, and to heal.
Thank you, Tara. I’ve been following you for years now, and what I love most is the gently flowing waves of wisdom that seem to arrive just when I need them most. I’d been practicing the hand-on-the-heart meditation, but in the most recent weeks of unusually high stress, I let the practice drop, allowing panic to squeeze out mindful mindful breathing. These videos are perfect reminders that loving kindness and self-compassion are a life-long practice. Namaste, my friend🕊&💛
I agree with the first talk that a lot of our problems originate with feelings of unworthiness. I have explored this feeling and continually work on it. Thank you for your wisdom and guidance.
Thanks Tara. This links perfectly with the brain retraining I’ve been doing. I have a worried part of myself that’s often jittery causing my sympathetic nervous system to be on high alert. In your Mindfulness Daily programme, you quoted Kaveri Patel’s poem ‘There’s a Monkey in my Mind’ and this resonated with me. My worried part is a little bird rather than a monkey. I realised through mindfulness that the feeling is like a bird trapped within my rib cage. In the past I would have thrown a blanket over that cage to subdue it. But now, like Patel’s monkey, I thank it, acknowledge it, and allow it to fly free. It sees the world is safe and can rest quietly in my lap while I continue to meditate. As you say, it takes lots of practice.
60 years of old habits! But I know I’m retraining my brain to be more compassionate with myself. And wonderfully I also realise, as you say, that this isn’t self indulgent because it ripples out to my interactions with others.
Thank you so much for your wisdom, generosity and love 💚🙏
Carolyn Buckner, Another Field, Chapel Hill, NC, USAsays
I felt some warmth and ease and small opening. The feelings and resistance to feeling suffering didn’t melt away but they loosened/lessened. Practice in accepting what is and shifting attention in a non-judgmental, loving way.
Suzanne L, Supervisor, AU says
Even when I feel hardened in my heart even a small opening will allow all of the kindness I offer myself to enter. Practice often.
Namaste Tara
Michelle Jackman, Medicine, CA says
The harsh judge/critic: leading to feelings of “not enough” and shame, anxiety, inadequacy, naming these emotions and then feeling the sensation around my heart move on by allowing the breath to flow over the sensations like a warm blanket or a cuddle from my labradoodle
Ruth Housman, Counseling, Las Cruces, NM 88001, USA, NM, USA says
sharing care is allowing me to open my heart for self forgiveness and kindness
Susan Hardman, Medicine, GB says
What an amazing feeling.
Lynette R, Other, AU says
Realised all I ever wanted was to be helpful, accepted and loved
Kathleen Kunze, Nursing, Columbus, OH, USA says
I softened & felt tenderness & care towards myself. I relaxed, my heart opened & I found myself smiling. 😊
Pamela Lester, Teacher, CA says
I learned self compassion through multiple promptings to remember how I comforted my small children when they made a mistake or whatever, really remember how it felt to embrace and comfort them with compassion. Then the challenge was to learn to do that for myself.
Jennifer Buhl, Teacher, DE says
The hand on my heart feels good, but knowing what to say is not so easy…
Josh Sherwell, Coach, AU says
Noticed my eyes started to well up, when I told myself I’m healing and to forgive myself for my mistakes.
Sally Oriole, Another Field, Kensington, MD, USA says
I have no idea of what a “message of care” or a gesture of love to myself would look like. “poor baby”? it seems like whatever it was would feel ironic or fake or forced and impossible to believe. because acknowledging the suffering is fine but it doesn’t solve the feeling that I deserve the suffering.
Connie Bist, Counseling, CA says
Asked for help from higher power to stop judging and finding I am judgmental to that higher power. Realized this and forgave
Jane Stephens, Other, GB says
That I am not all bad and I will make mistakes and learn from these.
A feeling of responding to myself, meeting myself and wanting to care more for myself.
Katherine Duarte, Teacher, Salinas, CA, USA says
Hand on my heart is very calming and there is a nice glowing, warming feeling connected to it. I naturally take a deeper and fuller breath with my hand on my heart.
Chaula Patel, Psychotherapy, IN says
felt calmer and supported.
P. Gordon, Counseling, M, PA, USA says
I’m unable to feel compassion or empathy for myself. Getting through the denseness of the pain and overwhelming sadness seems impossible.
Jo Ann McNiel, Other, Cedar Rapids, IA, USA says
A feeling of power and confidence, assuredness that I can handle uncomfortable situations. (not there yet regarding popular political bullies)
April King, Marriage/Family Therapy, Bakersfield, CA, USA says
I always feel a warm dispersed feeling. As I started my Monday, taking this moment gave me a sense of confidence and self-efficacy for the day ahead.
Nancy Bateman, Other, Castro Valley, CA, USA says
I felt love and kindness to myself.
Lorraine Craig, Teacher, GB says
Tara, I am able to feel compassionate towards myself momentarily, then it flies away.
Marisol Redondo, Another Field, ES says
I feel my body more relaxed. It feels good, beautiful practice.
Jean C, Other, Albuquerque, NM, USA says
It feels soothing & good. Helps me realize I am a worthy wholesome woman
Mary Halvorsen, Other, Eau Claire , WI, USA says
I’m loved 🥰
Harika Basharan, Psychotherapy, GB says
Your work is such a wonderful example of how love heals, thank you.
Mary Rymer, Other, Davidson, NC, USA says
This opened me up to feel pain, to just hurt a bit.
Julie A Farnam, Social Work, Summerville, OR, USA says
Bottomless sadness.
Richard White, Another Field, IE says
I did feel a positive shift and also a fear that I wouldn’t be able to give myself compassion.
K F, Teacher, Bk, NY, USA says
Thank you Tara. A generous offering of hope for healing and transformation. I felt the emotions and look forward to practicing.
Esta van Coppenhagen, Social Work, ZA says
compassion and love
Kathi Gillaspy, Other, Falls Church, VA, USA says
The physical gesture of hand on heart paired with an acknowledgment that I’m hurting with kind words/thoughts that follow is a practice I intend to engage in daily. I really appreciated the suggestion.
Julie Valentino, Teacher, Napa, CA, USA says
I find awakening in the morning, that
I have a feeling of anxiety. Oftentimes listening to your podcasts sets my mind on a different path of being kind to myself and my spouse. After sitting with my breathing and putting my hand to my heart I feel settled and accepting as well as grateful for my many blessings.
Esta van Coppenhagen, Social Work, ZA says
love and compassion
Hanan Elbakry, Psychology, Potomac, MD, USA says
This exercise is really important for clients who were raised in hostile and invalidating environment.
Anne Bradley, Clergy, Columbus, MS, USA says
warmth, open-heartedness, and spaciousness
Linda Smibert, Coach, CA says
Thank you for your generous teachings. During your video I was acutely aware of my own reality..like Elaine I have lived in fear shame and lack of self love for many years. Though I muddled through while performing as a ” nice” person I often felt like a victim. I have been studying and practicing mindfulness for last 3 years.
your video brought clear to me that I can ” care” for my person .
Jennifer w, Another Field, Cleveland, TX, USA says
I felt a twinge of “ah, get back to work…do something productive.”
Karen Gartside, Coach, GB says
Thank you very much for this lovely and powerful gift
brenda fuentes, Psychology, EC says
pace and love
Maria Vilarinho, Student, PT says
Gratitude for this amazing gift!!
Vicky Collins, Other, Addison, TX, USA says
The gesture of self care felt so good and loving. I didn’t want to take my hand away. I can see how practicing just that would be a game changer in my life. Thank you Tara
Janet R, Another Field, Lumberton, NJ, USA says
Self care and increased awareness of self
Michael Hodor, Another Field, Playa Del Rey, CA, USA says
It feels like an a gift from within myself to be able to tend to myself lovingly. For me, the recent end to a very significant relationship has left me in a seemingly perpetual state of grief and sadness that lay just beneath the surface each day. Now, when the waves of grief begin to rise up, I’m using gestures of self-care and mindfulness to sort of see myself through to the other side of the emotions. I can’t know how many times this will reoccur in the coming months; especially as the holidays approach. But I believe in the power within me to rewire, and to heal.
Mike Wallace, Counseling, Monroe, CT, USA says
I found difficulty in feeling that tenderness toward myself. Then I suddenly realized that there was a voice saying that I didn’t deserve it.
Aimee Selah, Another Field, GA says
Thank you, Tara. I’ve been following you for years now, and what I love most is the gently flowing waves of wisdom that seem to arrive just when I need them most. I’d been practicing the hand-on-the-heart meditation, but in the most recent weeks of unusually high stress, I let the practice drop, allowing panic to squeeze out mindful mindful breathing. These videos are perfect reminders that loving kindness and self-compassion are a life-long practice. Namaste, my friend🕊&💛
Rosemary Squire, Medicine, CA says
I agree with the first talk that a lot of our problems originate with feelings of unworthiness. I have explored this feeling and continually work on it. Thank you for your wisdom and guidance.
Rachel Mills, Health Education, CA says
3
Joy Sparky, Other, Seattle , WA, USA says
The practice offered make sense and is helpful. The music in the background is distracting, sappy, and feels manipulative
Sheila Ridout, Other, GB says
Thanks Tara. This links perfectly with the brain retraining I’ve been doing. I have a worried part of myself that’s often jittery causing my sympathetic nervous system to be on high alert. In your Mindfulness Daily programme, you quoted Kaveri Patel’s poem ‘There’s a Monkey in my Mind’ and this resonated with me. My worried part is a little bird rather than a monkey. I realised through mindfulness that the feeling is like a bird trapped within my rib cage. In the past I would have thrown a blanket over that cage to subdue it. But now, like Patel’s monkey, I thank it, acknowledge it, and allow it to fly free. It sees the world is safe and can rest quietly in my lap while I continue to meditate. As you say, it takes lots of practice.
60 years of old habits! But I know I’m retraining my brain to be more compassionate with myself. And wonderfully I also realise, as you say, that this isn’t self indulgent because it ripples out to my interactions with others.
Thank you so much for your wisdom, generosity and love 💚🙏
Mirjana R, Other, RS says
i can’t watch the videos because they break and stop evey couple of seconds
Carolyn Buckner, Another Field, Chapel Hill, NC, USA says
I felt some warmth and ease and small opening. The feelings and resistance to feeling suffering didn’t melt away but they loosened/lessened. Practice in accepting what is and shifting attention in a non-judgmental, loving way.
Lorraine Nahabedian, Teacher, Avon, CT, USA says
Thank you Tara. Another awesome podcast.