This is lovely material. Thank you. In relation to limiting beliefs I sometimes use the term ‘Belief Crutches’. We lean on them all our lives without realising how much we are disabled by them, and then when we start noticing them and learn how to question them and eventually throw them away, we discover we can run freely in whatever direction our heart takes us.
Self-forgiveness lessens my need to push away those I have hurt (to avoid the pain of being confronted by the pain I have caused) and offers a better chance at repairing such relationships.
I have been working a long time with forgiveness for myself, for past choices and actions. I know it to be the first step towards acceptance and I’m getting there. Thank you for the videos.
Thank you for sharing such deep wisdom, Tara, reminding us that self acceptance and self forgiveness Are what make meaningful relationships with others possible.
I have one concern. Although I definitely believe in self compassion and self forgiveness, I am concerned with people, especially those who are physically, sexually or emotionally abusing others, telling themselves it’s not their fault when they have hurt someone else . Yes, be self compassionate, realize there’s a reason from your past leading you to do these things, but to not accept responsibility for your actions leads to blaming the victim. How do you address this issue?
Wonderful guidance for dealing with clients’ shame and guilt. I love the question for helping them see that this is not the path to better behavior. I am looking forward to applying this mindful and compassionate approach to my clients and myself!
Practicing mindfulness, self-compassion, and forgiveness soften my heart. Then I feel unconditional love, even for those I perceive as hurtful. From that place I can act with compassion, rather than react with anger. It’s a practice that needs constant renewal. Thanks for this!
Being mindful of our own self worth and letting go of our own self judgment Is the first step In understanding ourselves and how we treat our self and others. This can help us subsequently treat others better as evident from your teachings.
As therapists being in touch with our own personal issues is essential to manage the therapeutic relationships.
Thank you Tara for all you offer to our community. Sincerely, Carissa Kealy, Psy.D.
Hearing this reminds me again what I know deeply that it is not my fault, but with the people I lived for 20 years and left 6 month ago, it was always my fault, my »unwillingness » to change, even when I told that I want but every time I felt more depressed hearing this
I understand that I and only I can give myself this acceptance, and I am on the way and it is still a long journey
Thanks
Samasti
Wonderful examples of how to help a client move from guilt to self-love and acceptance. I think the question about has the awareness made them a better person is an excellent therapeutic question and will help movement whether the client is “there” yet or not. Thanks!
thinking for the moment about forgiving myself for the ways in which i was actually not the parent i wish i had been was helpful. thankyou. guilt is a lazy form of grief.!!!!! thank you. anonymous
Very helpful to hear Tara discuss how she leads her clients to self love, self understanding and deeper relationships with others. I think some of the
men I work with would be more able to be introspective with Tara’s understanding of self forgiveness. Of course we all can benefit, but so often
there is resistance due to the message enforced by our culture “I should have
known“.
Anne McNally
Tara, you are amazing , thank you. How do I let go of the guilt I feel for behaviors that led to a divorce with someone I loved? It’s complicated but I am trying to forgive myself each day through therapy and reflection. Thank you
This is a difficult exercise for me on deeper unconscious levels. Listening to Tara causes me to realize I need to continue with uncovering the layers of suppressed and hidden feelings. When I have practiced this some what anger has lessened and allowed me to relate to my father in a different, more open manner.
Thank you for these 3 video! I enjoyed them and would be interested in learning more in order to help my clients more.
An old friend of mine lost her husband to covid 2 months ago. When I finally called her 1 1/2 months had past. I was so mad at myself for not being there for her. I have felt a distance from her due to my screwup. As I forgave myself and allowed myself to feel kindness for myself I could sense a loosening of my avoidance of this friend and will reach out to her.
It is the finding the root of limiting belief that is about the shame that seems key piece of then being able to step into allowing space for self compassion
My being judgemental and expressing anger at someone I love comes from seeing her express those behaviors. In order to heal the relationship, I must brush away her demonstrations of these traits and remember instances when she was kind and caring.
Thankyou so much Tara – I am reminded of the powerful healing of Emotional Feeling Techniques developed by Gary Craig, which have the words “I deeply and completely accept and forgive myself” as part of the languaging at the start of tapping on various meridian points.I have offered this to many clients over the 20 years I have practised as a psychotherapist, and at times it has had an almost miraculous effect.
Thank you for the great insight to free our self hatred when we hurt somebody especially our loved ones. I like that ‘pause’ moment instead of reacting instantly to help us get back to our logical thinking, and calm the body’s sensation.
I felt lighter, less tense, able to breathe easier. I felt more positive about the next time I see this person and more motivated to make the most out of our future interactions. I am even looking forward to seeing them again.
Self forgiveness would dissolve the guilt, blame & shame & reestablish connection with myself & others
This is lovely material. Thank you. In relation to limiting beliefs I sometimes use the term ‘Belief Crutches’. We lean on them all our lives without realising how much we are disabled by them, and then when we start noticing them and learn how to question them and eventually throw them away, we discover we can run freely in whatever direction our heart takes us.
Powerful healing help to use & to share
In Judaism, this is the month of self examination and forgiveness. Being able to accept ourselves and move on is so crucial. Thanks for sharing
Self-forgiveness lessens my need to push away those I have hurt (to avoid the pain of being confronted by the pain I have caused) and offers a better chance at repairing such relationships.
I have been working a long time with forgiveness for myself, for past choices and actions. I know it to be the first step towards acceptance and I’m getting there. Thank you for the videos.
Thank you for sharing such deep wisdom, Tara, reminding us that self acceptance and self forgiveness Are what make meaningful relationships with others possible.
I have one concern. Although I definitely believe in self compassion and self forgiveness, I am concerned with people, especially those who are physically, sexually or emotionally abusing others, telling themselves it’s not their fault when they have hurt someone else . Yes, be self compassionate, realize there’s a reason from your past leading you to do these things, but to not accept responsibility for your actions leads to blaming the victim. How do you address this issue?
Wonderful guidance for dealing with clients’ shame and guilt. I love the question for helping them see that this is not the path to better behavior. I am looking forward to applying this mindful and compassionate approach to my clients and myself!
I love the clarity and precision with which you teach this profound wisdom. Thank you
Forgiveness makes me feel whole rather than hiding parts of self .
Thank you that was good little video.
Practicing mindfulness, self-compassion, and forgiveness soften my heart. Then I feel unconditional love, even for those I perceive as hurtful. From that place I can act with compassion, rather than react with anger. It’s a practice that needs constant renewal. Thanks for this!
Very insightful, thank you Tara.
Being mindful of our own self worth and letting go of our own self judgment Is the first step In understanding ourselves and how we treat our self and others. This can help us subsequently treat others better as evident from your teachings.
As therapists being in touch with our own personal issues is essential to manage the therapeutic relationships.
Thank you Tara for all you offer to our community. Sincerely, Carissa Kealy, Psy.D.
Thank you Tara for another insight about loving oneself, self-forgiveness, and freedom from suffering.
This resonates so perfectly well with me. Thank you. I feel so confused on so many levels, and my mood swings greatly…
Beautiful teachings, thank you
Hearing this reminds me again what I know deeply that it is not my fault, but with the people I lived for 20 years and left 6 month ago, it was always my fault, my »unwillingness » to change, even when I told that I want but every time I felt more depressed hearing this
I understand that I and only I can give myself this acceptance, and I am on the way and it is still a long journey
Thanks
Samasti
Wonderful examples of how to help a client move from guilt to self-love and acceptance. I think the question about has the awareness made them a better person is an excellent therapeutic question and will help movement whether the client is “there” yet or not. Thanks!
thinking for the moment about forgiving myself for the ways in which i was actually not the parent i wish i had been was helpful. thankyou. guilt is a lazy form of grief.!!!!! thank you. anonymous
Very helpful to hear Tara discuss how she leads her clients to self love, self understanding and deeper relationships with others. I think some of the
men I work with would be more able to be introspective with Tara’s understanding of self forgiveness. Of course we all can benefit, but so often
there is resistance due to the message enforced by our culture “I should have
known“.
Anne McNally
I am deeply thankful for your kindness and blessed ways of letting us participate in this Deep knowledge
Love. Eva
Tara, you are amazing , thank you. How do I let go of the guilt I feel for behaviors that led to a divorce with someone I loved? It’s complicated but I am trying to forgive myself each day through therapy and reflection. Thank you
Getting to a state of genuine forgiveness would permit my clients to let go and move on from a place of blame, shame, and anger.
This is a difficult exercise for me on deeper unconscious levels. Listening to Tara causes me to realize I need to continue with uncovering the layers of suppressed and hidden feelings. When I have practiced this some what anger has lessened and allowed me to relate to my father in a different, more open manner.
Excellent Video! I’m glad I took the time to watch them.
when practicing with Tara Brach there is such peace and self-compassion which she models so well.
many thanks
A great example of Sam . Very helpful and filled with compassion in understanding how to build effective relationships.
As I forgive myself i do not have to be defensive. I can be more open in my relationships.
When I forgive and have compassion for myself, I feel more able to act toward others as I truly desire.
Thank you for the reminder of how self-hatred breeds more of the same and that healing comes through self-compassion.
Very helpful for myself and for my clients. Thank you
Thank you for these 3 video! I enjoyed them and would be interested in learning more in order to help my clients more.
An old friend of mine lost her husband to covid 2 months ago. When I finally called her 1 1/2 months had past. I was so mad at myself for not being there for her. I have felt a distance from her due to my screwup. As I forgave myself and allowed myself to feel kindness for myself I could sense a loosening of my avoidance of this friend and will reach out to her.
I feel more peace and open; increased presence in the moment
I feel grateful for the reminder to accept myse. There is much “lazy grief” in the world and self-acceptance helps me face it in a constructive way.
A beautiful way of reconnecting with inner self and simple yet very powerful practices to deepen self love.
Thankyou Tara
Letting go of guilt made me softer and more open for connection with my loved ones.
Please send free handout
It is the finding the root of limiting belief that is about the shame that seems key piece of then being able to step into allowing space for self compassion
My being judgemental and expressing anger at someone I love comes from seeing her express those behaviors. In order to heal the relationship, I must brush away her demonstrations of these traits and remember instances when she was kind and caring.
Thankyou so much Tara – I am reminded of the powerful healing of Emotional Feeling Techniques developed by Gary Craig, which have the words “I deeply and completely accept and forgive myself” as part of the languaging at the start of tapping on various meridian points.I have offered this to many clients over the 20 years I have practised as a psychotherapist, and at times it has had an almost miraculous effect.
I feel more spaciousness and ease, thank you
When I genuinely forgive myself, I am more apt to be free and open-hearted to forgive others.
The example of Sam and having him view his situation through a caring friend’s eyes was very helpful.
Thanks for your work-so helpful!
Beautiful way to work with clients
Thank you for the great insight to free our self hatred when we hurt somebody especially our loved ones. I like that ‘pause’ moment instead of reacting instantly to help us get back to our logical thinking, and calm the body’s sensation.
By trying to forgive myself I now understand that my self-judgement is Pushing the other person away.
I felt lighter, less tense, able to breathe easier. I felt more positive about the next time I see this person and more motivated to make the most out of our future interactions. I am even looking forward to seeing them again.
Thank you for this. Very useful.