My friend is caught in a deep pattern that requires her to control all situations and consequently she quickly becomes angry and judgmental. So within minutes she’s goes from being loving to making snappy judgments or worse yet becoming bluntly imperative. Her behavior polarizes me and I don’t say anything. I’m not the only one in her relationships that have this same response. I feel so disrespected.
Genuinely forgiving myself for my freezing and my lack of communication (which she blames is as the root of our problems) has made me feel more open-hearted to the possibility of us working through this and remaining close friends.
Thinking about my relationship with my mother. The guilt of giving myself space from a painful relationship but struggling to be a “good daughter “ to an aging parent.
I have been working on this with the help of your talks and meditations for some time, particularly with regard to my husband. It is a work in progress but I can see that by accepting, loving and forgiving myself I can be more present with him because I’m not caught up in my head and its stories and then I can hear him and have him hear me. This makes me feel closer to him and also more that he accepts, loves and forgives me. I know he does, but I need to FEEL it. Thank you Tara for all your work, it is making a tremendous difference to me.
I’m curious about this meditation. This is a very hopeful perspective that seems to foster much greater peacefulness by way of acceptance. Thanks again
I just finished listening to part 2, the 3 meditative practices. I really appreciate the clear and simple points made, and the exercises and metaphors you used to describe and explain them. Very helpful and easy to apply for clients (and myself)! Thanks for making this available at no charge. Nancy Gulanick
Self judgement and self hate does not lead to becoming a better person because it perpetuates those feelings of anger. Self compassion and being of service to our higher self can help us in those times
Forgiving myself is the hardest part of my life and I also know I need work on own self judgment, and to be a value to other, forgiving myself is the first step.
Our relationship with ourselves is so important. As you said it then in turns filters out to how we relate to others, when we care, love and forgive ourselves.
Thank you so much Tara,
It’s such a comfort to listen to you.
I would like to communicate that I found the background music on these videos distracting. My suggestion would be not to have it but if you think it’s something beneficial please could there be an option to listen without it somehow. Perhaps it’s possible to have two parallel recordings.
I love your talks and so it seems a shame to pollute that with this unnecessary stuff.
I think this may be an exercise that takes several /multiple sessions with a client, though well-worth it over the months – as per all Tara’s guidances. Doing the exercise myself there, (about a relationship with a friend) I think I was already aware of why I have some guilt in that relationship – its the parts of me that I have chosen not to share. But those are special and not for every relationship. Whilst knowing this intellectually and in my heart – it doesn’t take away the element of not fully present/truthful that I experience with that person.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I couldn’t help but be moved by your powerful message. I could see my inner child and hugged her and be proud of her. Thank you so much for your teachings. All the best and may you continue to be a channel of blessing to many.
I’m as lonely as a grumpy housecat, so thanks for the new summaries of mindful processes and practices. Yes, the Ukraine situation has gotten my teapot into a tempest, and it is just roiling and boiling away. So difficult to give quality service to others when one’s is not tending to one’s own house.
I realized that when I acted out towards my loved one, there’s a fear behind. It’s rooted in a fear of loosing her. ‘It’s not your fault’, what a words with compassionate understanding and acceptance! Thank you!
It’s not your fault! Such a powerful realization. Beneath the anger, there are suffering and hurt. It’s easier to have compassion for others who are suffering and hurting? Why not extend the same compassion for ourselves?
It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.
I lost my temperature with my younger sister and have felt guilty about it for years. She was just a toddler then and it must have frightened her. In doing the practice and offering myself forgiveness, I realised that I was only a child myself at the time and I couldn’t help it. I felt my heart ease a little.
I can’t imagine what real self forgiveness feels like. My guilt is to do with the past, and how do you change that? I’d love to be able to truly forgive myself if it could somehow transform relationships
Makes me feel less anxious around the person and I feel more open to his love.
Its not my fault, brings hope and acceptance that I am ok and worthy to be truly authentically me.
“It’s not my fault…” creates space and feelings of sadness.
Powerful words.
🙏💙 Tara Brach, you are a source of inspiration and hope.
Forgiveness helps us stay with our compassion which in hand helps us stay connected wit others In a way that feels human
My friend is caught in a deep pattern that requires her to control all situations and consequently she quickly becomes angry and judgmental. So within minutes she’s goes from being loving to making snappy judgments or worse yet becoming bluntly imperative. Her behavior polarizes me and I don’t say anything. I’m not the only one in her relationships that have this same response. I feel so disrespected.
Genuinely forgiving myself for my freezing and my lack of communication (which she blames is as the root of our problems) has made me feel more open-hearted to the possibility of us working through this and remaining close friends.
Thinking about my relationship with my mother. The guilt of giving myself space from a painful relationship but struggling to be a “good daughter “ to an aging parent.
I have been working on this with the help of your talks and meditations for some time, particularly with regard to my husband. It is a work in progress but I can see that by accepting, loving and forgiving myself I can be more present with him because I’m not caught up in my head and its stories and then I can hear him and have him hear me. This makes me feel closer to him and also more that he accepts, loves and forgives me. I know he does, but I need to FEEL it. Thank you Tara for all your work, it is making a tremendous difference to me.
Very peaceful …
I’m curious about this meditation. This is a very hopeful perspective that seems to foster much greater peacefulness by way of acceptance. Thanks again
This really helped me see this from a different perspective
I just finished listening to part 2, the 3 meditative practices. I really appreciate the clear and simple points made, and the exercises and metaphors you used to describe and explain them. Very helpful and easy to apply for clients (and myself)! Thanks for making this available at no charge. Nancy Gulanick
Self judgement and self hate does not lead to becoming a better person because it perpetuates those feelings of anger. Self compassion and being of service to our higher self can help us in those times
“It’s not my fault…”
Powerful. Thank you. Healing for myself and for those I love. ❣️
My spouse and I need help
Forgiving myself is the hardest part of my life and I also know I need work on own self judgment, and to be a value to other, forgiving myself is the first step.
More realistic expectations of myself and others releases some of the anger and punitive energy so that gentleness and love can help heal.
I don’t want to be stuck in seeking attention or approval from others. Sometimes I’m stuck in scoring points mentality. How do I move on from this?
I felt genuine remorse and sadness
You are a light, thank you.
I think it will give my clients a little room to feel better. Thank you!
Thank you Tara !
Thank you so important and so helpful.
Thank you Tara.
Our relationship with ourselves is so important. As you said it then in turns filters out to how we relate to others, when we care, love and forgive ourselves.
Great teaching
I am caring for myself
Enlightening.
Thank you so much Tara,
It’s such a comfort to listen to you.
I would like to communicate that I found the background music on these videos distracting. My suggestion would be not to have it but if you think it’s something beneficial please could there be an option to listen without it somehow. Perhaps it’s possible to have two parallel recordings.
I love your talks and so it seems a shame to pollute that with this unnecessary stuff.
You’re great plain and simple !
With love
This is something I need to sit with and work on: still struggling with elements of this. But thank you, and I look forward to reading the handout
Thank you. So needed.
Thank you Tara!
Beautiful – thank you
Toxic shame and guilt impede us from living and living in fulfillment.
Thank you Tara!
Forgiveness of the self is the key to unlocking the journey to freedom
I think this may be an exercise that takes several /multiple sessions with a client, though well-worth it over the months – as per all Tara’s guidances. Doing the exercise myself there, (about a relationship with a friend) I think I was already aware of why I have some guilt in that relationship – its the parts of me that I have chosen not to share. But those are special and not for every relationship. Whilst knowing this intellectually and in my heart – it doesn’t take away the element of not fully present/truthful that I experience with that person.
Thank you Tara
Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I couldn’t help but be moved by your powerful message. I could see my inner child and hugged her and be proud of her. Thank you so much for your teachings. All the best and may you continue to be a channel of blessing to many.
Thank you for the guidance of learning how to accept my thoughts, feel them and then let them go…very helpful
I’m as lonely as a grumpy housecat, so thanks for the new summaries of mindful processes and practices. Yes, the Ukraine situation has gotten my teapot into a tempest, and it is just roiling and boiling away. So difficult to give quality service to others when one’s is not tending to one’s own house.
I realized that when I acted out towards my loved one, there’s a fear behind. It’s rooted in a fear of loosing her. ‘It’s not your fault’, what a words with compassionate understanding and acceptance! Thank you!
What my mother said was merely a projection of her struggle with self. It’s not me
Self-judgement is as much a part of me as breathing. It would be nice to accept and believe “it is not my fault”.
I have struggled for over 20 years to forgive myself for not doing what I should/could have done to prevent my son’s suicide.
This program has so many practical suggestions for me and for my practice.
It’s not your fault! Such a powerful realization. Beneath the anger, there are suffering and hurt. It’s easier to have compassion for others who are suffering and hurting? Why not extend the same compassion for ourselves?
It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.
I lost my temperature with my younger sister and have felt guilty about it for years. She was just a toddler then and it must have frightened her. In doing the practice and offering myself forgiveness, I realised that I was only a child myself at the time and I couldn’t help it. I felt my heart ease a little.
I’m hoping that the competition between us subsides.
I relate to these talks. I would like to have deeper connections with my friends. My spiritual path is TRUTH.
I can’t imagine what real self forgiveness feels like. My guilt is to do with the past, and how do you change that? I’d love to be able to truly forgive myself if it could somehow transform relationships
It would allow me to be loose the guilt I’ve been carrying for decades and open myself up to better relationships with people. Thank you Tara.