We are all part of the ‘blame culture’. Your teaching content gives me a beacon of hope and further insights into helping both myself and others change through offering kindness to ourselves. Thank you and blessings to you
I think the forgiveness makes way for something bigger and the mystery and courage of letting go although challenging can be the medicine.
Thanks again Tara for your courage, fierceness in this existence.
Thank you, I just always have struggled with my high standards about doing everything right, I have to realize that it is normal to be imperfect. And love myself.
By forgiving myself, I allow myself to recalibrate my negative thoughts, and stop judging myself. I then feel I’m doing the best I can and when I know better, I do behave better. I have to remind myself that I’m an imperfect human being and it’s okay. I feel that way about others; I have to start with self-compassion and forgiveness. Thank you, Tara, for all your generosity of spirit and action. Your videos and meditations have allowed me to develop tools I use consistently in my amazingly wonderful daily life. Namaste.
This sesitivity to my deepest feelings increase my awareness of how I do things and why I do them enabling me to understand those I love and teach with better consideration. Thank you ‼️
“It’s not my fault” is helpful for inner healing. How do we help clients hold space for the duality of, “it’s not my fault” and the knowledge “I am ultimately responsible for my own choices and behavior” after a harmful event has occurred?
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
Carl R. Rogers
Which is not the same as saying not acknowledging our flaws but to see them in a different light, with acceptance and self compassion, in order to act more wisely both for ourselves and others.
To be aware, to accept and to forgive ourselves for the harm we have caused helps us respond in a wiser way next time around
🙏 there’s a lighter feeling, able to consider the situation without wanting to shut it out and block the feeling. The self permission to let it be, thank youTara
It might help me stop searching for love. I have tried to forgive myself – easier said than authentically done., i understand why i did what i did but the destruction as result has already punished my self esteme beyond repair. Ill keep trying though
Genuine forgiveness has been really hard for me! I really like the idea and I am on this path 100%! Let go of the things I don’t need to make room for the things that will fuel me!
when I can see how and why I am hurting others I start to recognize it in that moment I am doing it and I can stop it in the same moment and forgive myself.
This is very helpful. My relation becomes more peaceful because my friend has understanding in the moment I can excuse myself. So by time I hope I can realise before acting and just not telling it.
Hello Tara,
Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and insights. Your meditations inspire me a lot. I believe if i could be more forgiving towards myself i would feel more peace, love and openess in my relationships. I am working in it. Thank you
Without guilt and self-acusation? As i inquire, explore and welcome that I see…
…I would be connected, joyfull, loving …in a sense of one-beingness with the other person.
…I would also percive us as equals, freeing the identity imposed in the other of haveing been and stil being a victim and me having been and stil being a perpetrator. The spel would be broken and no lables attached to neither one of us.
…I wouldn’t be using any energy to keep a memory alive in a resisting/fighting mode… in opposition to it …caught to an unexisting moment in time. I can see that that moment is not real and really not here now, except in my stream of thoughts… (hmm looking at it even deeper I become aware it is not even “my” strean of thoughts! I am not even guilty of that! 😅 WOW, that is a good one! Not even guilty of acussing myself!)
A sense of saying yes to life is here, now. A sense of being alive, in consciousness, in silence, in a kind of vast expanding peacefull space…
..freed, relaxed and in deep peace of mind …simply in Love with existece.
Thank you Tara for inviting me to wake up on this one! 🤗💖🙏💫🕊💖🤗
I know my insecurities and I already understood what my thoughts are and what they do to me. However, I know it’s not my fault that my thoughs are always that people won’t like me for what I am, because I’ve always been judged by my personality and that made me be someone I’m not to feel appreciated, I can have deep relations and I push away the ones that really love me… I’m stuck (for decades) not knowing how to leave this place
Filipa, Portugal
Genuine self forgiveness lead to a greater freedom expressed in more flexibility and authenticity in relationship with self and others. Though it is not so easy to do it as to formulate.
I feel so bad about myself for not being able to fulfill all my commitments towards others. Difficult to really believe that stopping to try to force myself would be better. However, forcing myself, almost coercing myself, doesn’t work at all. I am ready for something else and I need to do what others have not done: love myself. Writing this needs courage.
This is the most difficult instruction. I know I was unkind to my parents when they were alive and totally responsible for their dissatisfaction with our relationship. At the moment I have a client with similar problems, I’m hoping that my own anguish will help her to believe differently about herself,
When I forgive myself, I am able to say that these uncomfortable feelings belong to me, that its normal to be imperfect. Then I don’t need to project my feelings onto my partner and tell him its his fault I feel a certain way. I dont need to protect my selfimage cause I know its human to make mistakes. That brings more openness, light and kindness.
I thought of a time, when through my forgetfulness, and because of my own uncomfortableness in the world, and preoccupation with that uncomfortableness, I caused hurt to an animal. When I did the practice, practicing forgiving myself for forgetting and for being the cause of hurt to that little animal, I found that something in me felt lighter, and I could send that little being love and love her more when I wasn’t blaming myself so much.
It’s like a relief, the recognition I’m not a wicked being and it’s so wonderful to recognise the pattern of self criticism. This in turn impacts my relationships
I am aware of the practice of extending kindness and forgiveness to oneself by talking from the perspective of a good friend… and I sometimes suggest to others doing it. However, I rarely find myself doing it. Refresher needed! 😄
Forgiving myself sure is a journey and doesn’t happen easily. I am better at forgiving others. I will look at whether I am holding such beliefs like I can’t forgive myself as I deserve the punishment and won’t be better if I didn’t keep that reminder of how I failed. I want others to forgive me but can’t do so myself.
I recall EFT has been helpful here in the past… might unearth that also 💛
Thank you. Forgiveness is a nice word; and when I become more sincere about this and delve more deeply into actual forgiveness – it is transforming. What a long, strange trip it’s been
I realied I have been doing the best I can with the trauma I have been dealing with and also the pain of how my mother treated me . i was in survival mode . She didnt get it and probably never will but it is a huge weight off me to let go of feeling bad about myself. the regret I have been carrying that I know is useless anyway wont be harming me anymore.
Andrea Rose says
We are all part of the ‘blame culture’. Your teaching content gives me a beacon of hope and further insights into helping both myself and others change through offering kindness to ourselves. Thank you and blessings to you
sean phelps says
I think the forgiveness makes way for something bigger and the mystery and courage of letting go although challenging can be the medicine.
Thanks again Tara for your courage, fierceness in this existence.
Tamara Misimović says
Thank you, I just always have struggled with my high standards about doing everything right, I have to realize that it is normal to be imperfect. And love myself.
Geri Beveridge says
Outstanding content. Thank you!
The handout will be welcomed.
M O says
Thank you. Opens up a path through the complexity.
Susan says
By forgiving myself, I allow myself to recalibrate my negative thoughts, and stop judging myself. I then feel I’m doing the best I can and when I know better, I do behave better. I have to remind myself that I’m an imperfect human being and it’s okay. I feel that way about others; I have to start with self-compassion and forgiveness. Thank you, Tara, for all your generosity of spirit and action. Your videos and meditations have allowed me to develop tools I use consistently in my amazingly wonderful daily life. Namaste.
Marilyn Benjl says
This sesitivity to my deepest feelings increase my awareness of how I do things and why I do them enabling me to understand those I love and teach with better consideration. Thank you ‼️
A D says
Toxic backgrounds have far reaching implications for relationships and the self
Carita Koivumaanaho says
Powerful teachings. Thank you❤️
Bern S says
Thank you 🙂
Faaalu Iuli says
As I forgive my self, it opens up new dialog with others and those we’ve hurt
Maureen Flynn says
Great video 📹 👍
Drew says
I agree self esteem and self worth are fed by self compassion! Often times it takes maturity to achieve the benefit of self compassion!
Annalisa Manca says
Thank you for these videos! I look forward to the training
Nena S. says
“It’s not my fault” is helpful for inner healing. How do we help clients hold space for the duality of, “it’s not my fault” and the knowledge “I am ultimately responsible for my own choices and behavior” after a harmful event has occurred?
Alanna Lake says
Thank you for having these videos!
Hannelore Mattheus says
Softness enters my body.
Jack Cerva says
Hard work, helps with clients, maybe more w myself.
Laetitia says
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
Carl R. Rogers
Which is not the same as saying not acknowledging our flaws but to see them in a different light, with acceptance and self compassion, in order to act more wisely both for ourselves and others.
To be aware, to accept and to forgive ourselves for the harm we have caused helps us respond in a wiser way next time around
Kris Anon says
It wasn’t my fault but what happened was so destructive on the relationship that I despair it’ll ever really heal.
Sarah Harwood Marshall says
🙏 there’s a lighter feeling, able to consider the situation without wanting to shut it out and block the feeling. The self permission to let it be, thank youTara
Lynsey Williams says
If I say it’s not my fault, it makes space to enquire about where these feelings come from
irralee andrzejowska says
I feel less defensive towards the interaction
Anon Anon says
It might help me stop searching for love. I have tried to forgive myself – easier said than authentically done., i understand why i did what i did but the destruction as result has already punished my self esteme beyond repair. Ill keep trying though
Bronson Killpack says
Genuine forgiveness has been really hard for me! I really like the idea and I am on this path 100%! Let go of the things I don’t need to make room for the things that will fuel me!
Gudula Motsch says
when I can see how and why I am hurting others I start to recognize it in that moment I am doing it and I can stop it in the same moment and forgive myself.
This is very helpful. My relation becomes more peaceful because my friend has understanding in the moment I can excuse myself. So by time I hope I can realise before acting and just not telling it.
Sophie Lepo says
Hello Tara,
Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and insights. Your meditations inspire me a lot. I believe if i could be more forgiving towards myself i would feel more peace, love and openess in my relationships. I am working in it. Thank you
Maria-Paz Achhiardo says
Without guilt and self-acusation? As i inquire, explore and welcome that I see…
…I would be connected, joyfull, loving …in a sense of one-beingness with the other person.
…I would also percive us as equals, freeing the identity imposed in the other of haveing been and stil being a victim and me having been and stil being a perpetrator. The spel would be broken and no lables attached to neither one of us.
…I wouldn’t be using any energy to keep a memory alive in a resisting/fighting mode… in opposition to it …caught to an unexisting moment in time. I can see that that moment is not real and really not here now, except in my stream of thoughts… (hmm looking at it even deeper I become aware it is not even “my” strean of thoughts! I am not even guilty of that! 😅 WOW, that is a good one! Not even guilty of acussing myself!)
A sense of saying yes to life is here, now. A sense of being alive, in consciousness, in silence, in a kind of vast expanding peacefull space…
..freed, relaxed and in deep peace of mind …simply in Love with existece.
Thank you Tara for inviting me to wake up on this one! 🤗💖🙏💫🕊💖🤗
Filipa Santos says
I know my insecurities and I already understood what my thoughts are and what they do to me. However, I know it’s not my fault that my thoughs are always that people won’t like me for what I am, because I’ve always been judged by my personality and that made me be someone I’m not to feel appreciated, I can have deep relations and I push away the ones that really love me… I’m stuck (for decades) not knowing how to leave this place
Filipa, Portugal
Janet Neal says
I. Felt a deep breath and letting go of tension when I put my hand on my heart x
Nadia Yuan says
Genuine self forgiveness lead to a greater freedom expressed in more flexibility and authenticity in relationship with self and others. Though it is not so easy to do it as to formulate.
Ben Hughes says
Through these little excercises it’s more possible to look upon these behaviours from outside , then they begin to settle and compassion increases .
liliane sticher says
I feel so bad about myself for not being able to fulfill all my commitments towards others. Difficult to really believe that stopping to try to force myself would be better. However, forcing myself, almost coercing myself, doesn’t work at all. I am ready for something else and I need to do what others have not done: love myself. Writing this needs courage.
Kerry Davis says
More practise but each time it sinks in a little deeper and stays a little longer
Judith Turner says
This is the most difficult instruction. I know I was unkind to my parents when they were alive and totally responsible for their dissatisfaction with our relationship. At the moment I have a client with similar problems, I’m hoping that my own anguish will help her to believe differently about herself,
Anne EICHHORN says
When I forgive myself, I am able to say that these uncomfortable feelings belong to me, that its normal to be imperfect. Then I don’t need to project my feelings onto my partner and tell him its his fault I feel a certain way. I dont need to protect my selfimage cause I know its human to make mistakes. That brings more openness, light and kindness.
Ellie Fortier says
I thought of a time, when through my forgetfulness, and because of my own uncomfortableness in the world, and preoccupation with that uncomfortableness, I caused hurt to an animal. When I did the practice, practicing forgiving myself for forgetting and for being the cause of hurt to that little animal, I found that something in me felt lighter, and I could send that little being love and love her more when I wasn’t blaming myself so much.
Laura Cock says
It’s like a relief, the recognition I’m not a wicked being and it’s so wonderful to recognise the pattern of self criticism. This in turn impacts my relationships
Alexandra Martin says
Many thanks.
Aileen Brindley says
very helpful and true
Wolfgang F says
How helpful it is that this path into vulnerability is guided with soothing and helpful practices of self-care.
Elizabeth W says
Self forgiveness feels like a very long and rocky path that I’m nonetheless grateful to be walking.
Lorna Depp says
I am aware of the practice of extending kindness and forgiveness to oneself by talking from the perspective of a good friend… and I sometimes suggest to others doing it. However, I rarely find myself doing it. Refresher needed! 😄
Forgiving myself sure is a journey and doesn’t happen easily. I am better at forgiving others. I will look at whether I am holding such beliefs like I can’t forgive myself as I deserve the punishment and won’t be better if I didn’t keep that reminder of how I failed. I want others to forgive me but can’t do so myself.
I recall EFT has been helpful here in the past… might unearth that also 💛
Julie Schliebner says
In forgiving myself, I feel more able to say I’m sorry.
Chris M says
Thank you. Forgiveness is a nice word; and when I become more sincere about this and delve more deeply into actual forgiveness – it is transforming. What a long, strange trip it’s been
Kerryn reichelt says
I realied I have been doing the best I can with the trauma I have been dealing with and also the pain of how my mother treated me . i was in survival mode . She didnt get it and probably never will but it is a huge weight off me to let go of feeling bad about myself. the regret I have been carrying that I know is useless anyway wont be harming me anymore.
Connie Aim says
Self judgement has been with me my whole life and it’s strong and critical. I look forward to practicing and learning to accept me
L M says
Forgiveness is so essential, thank you.
Geneviève Lapierre says
Thanks for sharing. I didn’t realize that self-criticism was impacting relationships. I will try the exercises
a n says
I can’t quite do it yet.