By freeing themselves from self-judgement, their relationships open and there is a chance for the heart – for awareness of difficult feelings to happen. For awareness of the root cause of the pain. For feeling to happen meaning too that the feelings are not pathologised, but rather accepted.
Like water rinsing a hot stone, a gentleness becomes possible. A self-kindness that leads to new possibilities in relating to others.
Forgiveness opens the heart, and heart-opening is contagious.
My clients tell me forgiveness for others is so much easier than forgiving themselves. As an addictions counselor, unless and until we can forgive ourselves, we cannot obtain full recovery. ❤️
It is such an unusual exercise, it raises my curiosity. I found it very difficult, but deep inside I know that that is the right way to go. It makes me feel less stuck…it gives me a new option.
That relato ship heled meto grow I to the fulness of an adult woman I haveseenmyef Takeo my responsibilities of mother and a husband who respects me and loves my daughter as his own although he is ways do not complete me with physical intimacy he is non the less a wonderful person that had also greatly contributed to my growth and capacity to love and appreciate him as he is.
Genuine forgiveness of self leads to being more aware and open to learning more compassionate ways of being in relationship with ourselves and others. This leads to deeper, richer, and more fulfilling relationships with ourselves and others.
Thank you Dr Brach,
You’ve illustrated with so succinctly the journey of self forgiveness and discovery. The use of story beautifully weaved in communicated how we can apply this technique in practice.
Thank you for this clear information and insights of how we relate to ourselves reflectie directly of how we relate to others, for The important questions and steps to start changing forms os self judgement. Its so comforting feeling it opens posibility for change and Space for breathing!
Thank you!
That short moment of self forgiveness turned out to be beautiful. I felt a kindness and tenderness towards myself that I don’t think I ever felt before. I feel that my hardened heart from years of repression and self-judgment can start opening up.
Thank you so much!
In a relationship I care deeply about I found my thoughts brought guilt , fear of being controlling , and never doing enough.
I have benefited greatly from the practice of softening and forgiving myself while also taking responsibility for my actions .
I realize I lash out at others because I wasn’t kind to myself initially to set the boundaries I needed. Forgiving myself and loving myself enough to take care of me will actually make me easier to be around.
Doing the exercise I experienced tenderness and understanding for what I did. I saw that the effect of my action was not what I intensed to do. I could not have known by the time I did what I did, that the other person would take it that way.
I am in my late 60s now. My guilt and shame arise primarily from my teenage and young adult years, when in some ways I was out of control, and awash in pain. If I could learn to resolve and release those feelings of self-condemnation, I think it would constitute a complete rebirth for me.
Laura Scott says
I know when I have joy i have love. When no joy-no love. I need to find forgiveness for myself.
S Rose says
I appreciate your explanations and emphasis on awareness and self kindness
Margot Bethel says
By freeing themselves from self-judgement, their relationships open and there is a chance for the heart – for awareness of difficult feelings to happen. For awareness of the root cause of the pain. For feeling to happen meaning too that the feelings are not pathologised, but rather accepted.
Like water rinsing a hot stone, a gentleness becomes possible. A self-kindness that leads to new possibilities in relating to others.
Forgiveness opens the heart, and heart-opening is contagious.
Angela Gordon Stair says
Like the questions to ask clients and the quote, “vengence is a lazy form of grief.
Sheila Pakk says
My clients tell me forgiveness for others is so much easier than forgiving themselves. As an addictions counselor, unless and until we can forgive ourselves, we cannot obtain full recovery. ❤️
Nancy Kornfield says
I cried I was critical of this man I was going out with and had trouble forgiving myself
vincent Fraser says
Thank you for this offering. I’ll pass it on.
Binu Jacob says
I feel much lighter and thanks again Tara!
sam oberoi says
SELF FORGIVNESS IS ONE OF THE KEYS TO TRANSFORM OUR lives!
vincent Fraser says
Thank you for this offering. It’s helpful.
Eva says
It is such an unusual exercise, it raises my curiosity. I found it very difficult, but deep inside I know that that is the right way to go. It makes me feel less stuck…it gives me a new option.
Mary O'Neill says
I feel gentler and more focussed on them
than on me, more caring for their well-being – and I then relax about my own.
Amena Bhutta says
Thank you for this. It has been very helpful in restoring hope that I can foster forgiveness to those who’ve hurt me.
Danalee says
Thank you for sharing. Best advice yet for practicing self compassion.
Sheila Pa says
Thank you for the powerful questions ❤️
Brenda Holmes says
Thank you, powerful.
Simran B says
This was beautiful!
Sue Wolff says
It will allow for letting go of the death grip of negative thoughts. It opens my heart.
Gary Frank says
Thank you. This is very helpful in dealing with feelings of judgment and self-criticism.
Tiffany Irwin says
Let’s restore hope!
JUNE DOYLE says
That relato ship heled meto grow I to the fulness of an adult woman I haveseenmyef Takeo my responsibilities of mother and a husband who respects me and loves my daughter as his own although he is ways do not complete me with physical intimacy he is non the less a wonderful person that had also greatly contributed to my growth and capacity to love and appreciate him as he is.
Denise says
I really connect with Tara Brachs presentations.
Srividya Rajaram says
So beautiful
Jesue Walker says
Holding in kindness was gentle for me
Anonymous Anon says
To forgive myself leads toward the necessity of forgiving the person I identify with, the one I feel hurt me. It becomes very complex.
Jane Rawson says
Thank you for the infographics you regularly release. They are helpful in supporting others understand aspects of the brain and healing from trauma.
Alena P says
Thank you
Jen R says
Thank you
Joan Robertshawe says
Genuine forgiveness of self leads to being more aware and open to learning more compassionate ways of being in relationship with ourselves and others. This leads to deeper, richer, and more fulfilling relationships with ourselves and others.
Debbie G says
Thank you. My heart feels lighter. ❤️
Anonymous Anon says
This was a very powerful exercise that brought tears to eyes. It is very freeing to let go.
Anonymous says
Very helpful- “it’s not my fault” really resonates
Michelle Tubman says
I think self-forgiveness is such a crucial step in repairing the relationships close to us. Thanks for sharing your wisdom, Tara.
Elaine Chua says
Thank you Dr Brach,
You’ve illustrated with so succinctly the journey of self forgiveness and discovery. The use of story beautifully weaved in communicated how we can apply this technique in practice.
Grateful,
Elaine
Rudy Hayek says
It’s amazing how a simple question can address such a complex set of emotions and painful history. Thank you!
Deb Gunn says
Such important work to become aware of and heal ourselves.
Rebecca Holm says
It will bring expansion on all levels.
Thank you
C Steels says
Thank you for this clear information and insights of how we relate to ourselves reflectie directly of how we relate to others, for The important questions and steps to start changing forms os self judgement. Its so comforting feeling it opens posibility for change and Space for breathing!
Thank you!
Yi Q Chen says
Thanks!
RAJA JABER says
I just felt deep sadness and realization that I need to let go..and be the best I can be now..that is the only way to repair..
Elizabeth Reyes says
That short moment of self forgiveness turned out to be beautiful. I felt a kindness and tenderness towards myself that I don’t think I ever felt before. I feel that my hardened heart from years of repression and self-judgment can start opening up.
Thank you so much!
Anonymous says
In a relationship I care deeply about I found my thoughts brought guilt , fear of being controlling , and never doing enough.
I have benefited greatly from the practice of softening and forgiving myself while also taking responsibility for my actions .
sowjanya Manacha says
I had tears in my eyes and felt relieved
Shiby Nair says
this was powerful. Brings in a sense of pause and genuine care for the other in the relationship
mary Dinkel says
Your suggestions are uplifting and help me with my well being.
Pat Saich says
I’m just beginning to see how much I suffer from believing my self denigrating thoughts
Kelly Kao says
I realize I lash out at others because I wasn’t kind to myself initially to set the boundaries I needed. Forgiving myself and loving myself enough to take care of me will actually make me easier to be around.
Annemarie Paardekooper says
Doing the exercise I experienced tenderness and understanding for what I did. I saw that the effect of my action was not what I intensed to do. I could not have known by the time I did what I did, that the other person would take it that way.
Constance Carter says
I am in my late 60s now. My guilt and shame arise primarily from my teenage and young adult years, when in some ways I was out of control, and awash in pain. If I could learn to resolve and release those feelings of self-condemnation, I think it would constitute a complete rebirth for me.
Tere Field says
Thank you. Such an important issue