This exerciseis one I have been practicing for a while. I know when I do this, I can centre myself faster and make amends sooner eg apologise or simply go back to the conversation and reframe it and change the outcome of the conversation
not an easy exercise for sure.
i had to really work on giving myself permission to allow even the thought of forgiveness to come in.
i have believed for so long that everything was my fault and that if only I was more… or if only I had never….
then It hit me. YOU are scared to get well.
I have been on a healing journey for over 50 years. It is my Identity
WOW. I have seen myself as , incompetent, broken, unworthy of ACCEPTANCE never mind LOVE .
I was told at 15 by court appointed psychiatrist that I was so damaged that they didn’t know how to fix me. ( Borderline personally disorder).
back then the knowledge was what it was.
I ran with that and made sure that I lived up to that perception of me.
Although I have worked diligently over the years, that has always stuck with me and so I believe(core) that I am not supposed to be WHOLE.
perhaps with this new awareness I can finally let go and see myself in a different light.
I have healed a great many triggers and will keep working on my Vagus response.
Grateful for your insights and compassion.
namaste
I know that self compassion would significantly increase my acceptance trust and non judgement of myself and others. I would presuppose the goodness of others. I would realize they like me are trying their best too.
Self compassion and forgiveness might somehow release a tension, provide a release of pain at many levels to help release the person to accept and move forward with more intimacy and safety in relationships.
Loved this teaching! I was able to do the exercise Tara suggested and the end on myself. Just bringing awareness to how I have been judging myself in this relationship and bringing some compassion there was enlightening. I can see how my thoughts have been impacting this relationship and contaminating it. Wow! Please send the download for your work with Sam!
Thank you for this teaching, I have been struggling with a judgement I stated to a friend who responded in kind. Relationships seem like the ultimate testing ground for our meditation practice.
Allowing myself compassion and forgiveness gives me space to hold others that way. It clears any negative self talk in the moment. That allows space for more positive interactions.
I really enjoyed these videos and found them helpful, reminding me of the importance of acknowledging suffering, naming feelings and regularly practicing self-compassion. It felt great to put my hand on my heart! Thank you.
Thanks Tara, self forgiveness is such a simple concept and so difficult to practice after years of self blame. I felt a tremendous connection to the idea of me saying to myself “It’s not your fault.”
Of course we would say it to a dear friend, so why is it so hard to say to ourselves?
In my view, at any given moment, we all do the best we can – mentally, emotionally, physically, so self-forgiveness for me, is just realizing that at that given moment, we were maybe not proud of, we did the best we could. And that alone, leads us to self-forgiveness and much greater understanding.
With the relationship I think of and the pain and damage I caused, and then I try and hold myself with self-forgiveness around those few long-past painful events, I feel an expansion or opening for unknown possibility of connection with my now mature son. Thank you Tara. Robyn
My children come to mind – single mom who was never emotionally present for them. This haunts me. I cry just thinking about the impacts this has had on them. Sadness sets in and sticks. Forgiving myself – not there yet. But imagine it would open up space in the here and now emotionally for me and by extension, for us.
Anonymous says
An important and compassionate
offering /reminder for us all
🙏 Thank you
Peace and Love
Sara
Margaret Lundrigan says
Thank you so much! Wonderful tools for dealing with painful and difficult emotions!
Misha Parris says
This is so important, and I’m happy I’ve had an opportunity to tune in.
Katje Sabin says
Thank you for sharing this series.
C Yeoh says
This exerciseis one I have been practicing for a while. I know when I do this, I can centre myself faster and make amends sooner eg apologise or simply go back to the conversation and reframe it and change the outcome of the conversation
Suzanne says
not an easy exercise for sure.
i had to really work on giving myself permission to allow even the thought of forgiveness to come in.
i have believed for so long that everything was my fault and that if only I was more… or if only I had never….
then It hit me. YOU are scared to get well.
I have been on a healing journey for over 50 years. It is my Identity
WOW. I have seen myself as , incompetent, broken, unworthy of ACCEPTANCE never mind LOVE .
I was told at 15 by court appointed psychiatrist that I was so damaged that they didn’t know how to fix me. ( Borderline personally disorder).
back then the knowledge was what it was.
I ran with that and made sure that I lived up to that perception of me.
Although I have worked diligently over the years, that has always stuck with me and so I believe(core) that I am not supposed to be WHOLE.
perhaps with this new awareness I can finally let go and see myself in a different light.
I have healed a great many triggers and will keep working on my Vagus response.
Grateful for your insights and compassion.
namaste
E L says
Thank you. I Find Touching my heart and tuning in with myself helps me cultivate compassion and awareness of the stories spinning in my head
Anonymous says
I know that self compassion would significantly increase my acceptance trust and non judgement of myself and others. I would presuppose the goodness of others. I would realize they like me are trying their best too.
J R Hutchinson says
Self compassion and forgiveness might somehow release a tension, provide a release of pain at many levels to help release the person to accept and move forward with more intimacy and safety in relationships.
Nicole Hutchinson says
Such great truths. Thank you!
Carrie Beck says
Loved this teaching! I was able to do the exercise Tara suggested and the end on myself. Just bringing awareness to how I have been judging myself in this relationship and bringing some compassion there was enlightening. I can see how my thoughts have been impacting this relationship and contaminating it. Wow! Please send the download for your work with Sam!
Rosemary Parker says
I notice a sense of wholeness and peace-very powerful
San Jay says
Promoting forgiveness creates space and flexibility to connect with self and others
Gloria Schulz says
Thank you for this teaching, I have been struggling with a judgement I stated to a friend who responded in kind. Relationships seem like the ultimate testing ground for our meditation practice.
Jodi Allward says
Very powerful thankyou
MeMike P says
This guidance can truly help ourselves as we go through all of life’s challenges.
Tina Bishop says
Learning to work with shame
Kate Jones says
Really helpful as I am struggling with self judgement following my mother’s death and blaming myself for angry outbursts
Jane Ziebol says
Thank you
Karen Breeck says
thank you for these great videos and simple explanations of very complex issues
Rose Weir says
loving and forgiving yourself is wonderfully freeing
Su Upton says
only down loaded part of the handout
Travey Byrd says
Thank you.
Di Clough says
Mindfulness link to neuroscience makes this tangible for me
Donna L says
Accepting and loving ourselves is the first step to truly accepting and loving others
Jan Harvey says
Thanks for your insight..
Lauren Lesser says
very moving and useful videos
Su Upton says
A really thorough explanation of what happens, and how to change.
Jane Ziebol says
Wonderful
Karen says
When I am no longer feeling self hate and ‘wrongness’, I’m not in that energy to pass it on.
Laura Barna says
Allowing myself compassion and forgiveness gives me space to hold others that way. It clears any negative self talk in the moment. That allows space for more positive interactions.
Sally Deville says
Sooo helpful
Beverley Tow says
Thanks
Beverley Tow says
A powerful reminder of the importance of befriending ourselves for the benefit of those close to us. Thanks
Uli Mart says
Firstly,
Thank you so much for shearing. This resonates so so much and I hope & know this will help a lot.
All blessings. Uli
Pat Schink says
This is very helpful.
Amy Sadeghi says
I really enjoyed these videos and found them helpful, reminding me of the importance of acknowledging suffering, naming feelings and regularly practicing self-compassion. It felt great to put my hand on my heart! Thank you.
Jen Kyles says
Thanks Tara, self forgiveness is such a simple concept and so difficult to practice after years of self blame. I felt a tremendous connection to the idea of me saying to myself “It’s not your fault.”
Of course we would say it to a dear friend, so why is it so hard to say to ourselves?
Jane Ziebol says
Again, awesomely beautiful.
Elisabeth Simps says
Some really helpful teachings and reflections, thank you.
Philippa Dalglish says
Forgiving myself resulted in compassionate thoughts and appreciation for my effirts
Tamela King says
There is more peace with the gentleness of ” it is not my fault”
Thank you
Jackie Haar says
Very powerful.
Brana Lisic says
In my view, at any given moment, we all do the best we can – mentally, emotionally, physically, so self-forgiveness for me, is just realizing that at that given moment, we were maybe not proud of, we did the best we could. And that alone, leads us to self-forgiveness and much greater understanding.
Robyn Pollock says
With the relationship I think of and the pain and damage I caused, and then I try and hold myself with self-forgiveness around those few long-past painful events, I feel an expansion or opening for unknown possibility of connection with my now mature son. Thank you Tara. Robyn
Glenda Corwin says
This helps me look at a rough period in my life with much more understanding.
Christine Dudley says
Sounds like a great course. We all can benefit from these skills ,self love and self forgiveness.
Peter Connolly says
thank you so much
Carole Norton says
My children come to mind – single mom who was never emotionally present for them. This haunts me. I cry just thinking about the impacts this has had on them. Sadness sets in and sticks. Forgiving myself – not there yet. But imagine it would open up space in the here and now emotionally for me and by extension, for us.
Mehek R says
Much needed!