Listening to this has helped me immensely. Accepting that anger is not my fault will create a new acceptance of myself. I know the course will help me to forgive myself for harm I have caused.
Sigh…oh to be able to sincerely and wholeheartedly forgive myself for what I believe are my shortcomings and failures. I am guilty of no crime and yet I can judge myself just as harshly as if I were. To be able to do this would open a door to more fully and freely living than ever before.
Thinking about my relationships where I feel guilty and actually forgiving myself I feel lighter, freer, calmer and more at peace. I know this feeling is fleeting and that I need to work on my self judgement and the inner narrative I have fueled for almost 4 decades. This was beautiful! Thank you! I cried as soon as you said “it’s not your fault.” I need to believe that in order to start healing.
Forgiving myself requires self-compassion. Being compassionate requires an open-heart, so opening my heart to myself would create and open heart space for others in my life thus opening the pathway to intimacy.
It was a letting go of what I can’t change, because it is in the past, and a loving offering of forgiveness and love towards myself, which will help me be more loving with those around me now.
As you can only give what you have, if we can forgive ourselves and soften our stance towards ourselves, it makes it possible to deal with others in the same way, and also to not be so defended and taken up with ourselves and our own feelings of unworthiness.
This is a new and radical concept for me (and I think many with the inbuilt western thinking of guilt and shame). I am grateful for the insight and trust it can have a really positive effect…
Dear Tara, this exercise brought me into connection with the guilt I have held in relation to my parents. I have understood that I wanted the freedom to be who I’ve always been and for that reason, I had to create a distance from my parents who tried everything possible to hold me close. I understood their need but mine too and compassionately let go of feeling guilty for what I’ve naturally was called to do.
Thank you. I know my self-protective shell I built around myself for decades has interfered with my intimacy with my husband. I am working with your assurance that “It’s not your fault” – which I have heard before but still don’t fully believe.
I feel the awareness and mindfulness is key. When I thought of the person I felt angry and upset but in reality I feel angry and upset with myself. I made the choice to be in this relationship. I cannot change the person, only myself.
When I forgave myself and gave myself grace for my actions. I felt a huge release of pent up emotions and the physical sensation of muscle relaxation throughout my body. A very big sigh of relief.
Thank you Tara
so poignant!!! Just thinking of old patterns I have with friendships emerging in a new friendship… a lot of guilt around not being enough, and shame around internalised biases, and frustration for my lack of boundaries. But yes, just observing what it would be like to totally forgive myself – actually creates more space for that friendship to hopefully grow.
I am starting to forgive myself for mistakes I made in the past whilst caring for my mother. She’s dead now so I can’t improve my relationship with her but I can improve my relationship with myself and not hurt myself when I think of her.
Hello Tara! These clips are reaching a deep lace area in my being for sure. I’d like to try the guided meditation exercise that was helpful to Sam, to help myself as well! Thank you for providing this wisdom and teachings! (There are a few people that I hope I can share these with as well)
I have felt guilt and shame towards my wife, who is such a loving and caring person, and yet I get angry towards her for things that, in most cases don’t really matter, which drives her away.
I’m wondering how this might connect with pre- and post- operative “training” in kindness to our bodies? I recently read an article concerning post-operative negative thought responses to knee replacements, etc., and think these mindful practices might be helpful. Something like a welcoming response?
The practice (repeated over and over in my case, thousands and thousands of times) of saying to myself “It’s not your fault” during moments of self-criticism and self-hatred has been transformational for me. I started doing this a few years ago after reading Tara’s book “Radical Acceptance” when my life was crumbling apart while I struggled with a brutally debilitating depression. Once I started to feel that this statement actually applied to me, that was the moment I could start to see what a good person I actually am, despite so many years of feeling otherwise. I come back to this exercise daily still and have come to know and feel deeply that these words “It’s not your fault” and “It’s not their fault either” come from our True Nature, one of peace, happiness, deep compassion, healing, and love. It’s nobody’s fault, as we’re all in this together. Feeling very thankful for these videos right now. A deep bow and many blessings to all 🙂
It feels like it will create a space for us to become more of our relaxed, genuine selfs
Listening to this has helped me immensely. Accepting that anger is not my fault will create a new acceptance of myself. I know the course will help me to forgive myself for harm I have caused.
Sigh…oh to be able to sincerely and wholeheartedly forgive myself for what I believe are my shortcomings and failures. I am guilty of no crime and yet I can judge myself just as harshly as if I were. To be able to do this would open a door to more fully and freely living than ever before.
I appreciate how you are able to weave a clinical story in to demonstrate how the specific technique works.
Thinking about my relationships where I feel guilty and actually forgiving myself I feel lighter, freer, calmer and more at peace. I know this feeling is fleeting and that I need to work on my self judgement and the inner narrative I have fueled for almost 4 decades. This was beautiful! Thank you! I cried as soon as you said “it’s not your fault.” I need to believe that in order to start healing.
As you soften towards yourself, you naturally soften towards the other person as well.
Thank you. Reminds me of Peaceful Parenting with Laura Markham. Peace begins within us.
Thank you for this useful information.
Forgiving myself requires self-compassion. Being compassionate requires an open-heart, so opening my heart to myself would create and open heart space for others in my life thus opening the pathway to intimacy.
This was very helpful. I feel more compassion for myself. Thank you.
This is a challenge for me – genuinely forgiving myself with two particular people that I harmed and was harmed by. I’ll keep working on it.
It was a letting go of what I can’t change, because it is in the past, and a loving offering of forgiveness and love towards myself, which will help me be more loving with those around me now.
It could lead to more calm in the relationship
Thank you for your wisdom. It is truly hard to forgive oneself.
As you can only give what you have, if we can forgive ourselves and soften our stance towards ourselves, it makes it possible to deal with others in the same way, and also to not be so defended and taken up with ourselves and our own feelings of unworthiness.
This is a new and radical concept for me (and I think many with the inbuilt western thinking of guilt and shame). I am grateful for the insight and trust it can have a really positive effect…
it is wonderful, I’ll try this sentence for myself and will invite my patients to repeat it also : “it’s not my fault !
Dear Tara, this exercise brought me into connection with the guilt I have held in relation to my parents. I have understood that I wanted the freedom to be who I’ve always been and for that reason, I had to create a distance from my parents who tried everything possible to hold me close. I understood their need but mine too and compassionately let go of feeling guilty for what I’ve naturally was called to do.
Brought me tears
Very helpful!
Feels so very hard to be forgiving to myself and I come back to not feeling worthy BUT the idea has landed so that is a start
I might be calmer in how i approach them, less likely to avoid them
excellent mini course! thank you x
Thank you. I know my self-protective shell I built around myself for decades has interfered with my intimacy with my husband. I am working with your assurance that “It’s not your fault” – which I have heard before but still don’t fully believe.
Lighter and that the relationship would less stressful.
I feel the awareness and mindfulness is key. When I thought of the person I felt angry and upset but in reality I feel angry and upset with myself. I made the choice to be in this relationship. I cannot change the person, only myself.
It brings more peace, space, lightness and intimacy 🙂 Thank you!
This healing exercise is so urgent for individuals as well as building a critical mass to heal the world community.
All the best,
DrZ
I hope this idea can help me parent my son, who lives with autism, and suffers terribly from self loathing
i could stop blaming nyself and fully connect with my loved ones
When I forgave myself and gave myself grace for my actions. I felt a huge release of pent up emotions and the physical sensation of muscle relaxation throughout my body. A very big sigh of relief.
Thank you Tara
I won’t be as critical and my partner won’t suffer as much.
A beautiful practice, thank you
I could better connect and have a more fulfilling relationship with this person.
so poignant!!! Just thinking of old patterns I have with friendships emerging in a new friendship… a lot of guilt around not being enough, and shame around internalised biases, and frustration for my lack of boundaries. But yes, just observing what it would be like to totally forgive myself – actually creates more space for that friendship to hopefully grow.
I am starting to forgive myself for mistakes I made in the past whilst caring for my mother. She’s dead now so I can’t improve my relationship with her but I can improve my relationship with myself and not hurt myself when I think of her.
Thank you. Inviting forgiveness and kind regards inwards brings an opening to hope with ease.
I love these videos! The foundation of our growth is self acceptance.
Hello Tara! These clips are reaching a deep lace area in my being for sure. I’d like to try the guided meditation exercise that was helpful to Sam, to help myself as well! Thank you for providing this wisdom and teachings! (There are a few people that I hope I can share these with as well)
Always a gift of love and caring to listen to the wisdom of Tara. ❤️
I will be less critical of other person because the reason for my frustration is about me not them.
Thank you for sharing with us your experience and tools.
I practice them and feel better. Namaste.
I see the importance of loving and kindness of myself.
Helped me reflect on painful relationships and bring some peace to these.
I’m loving this, and would greatly appreciate the handout.
I have felt guilt and shame towards my wife, who is such a loving and caring person, and yet I get angry towards her for things that, in most cases don’t really matter, which drives her away.
I’m wondering how this might connect with pre- and post- operative “training” in kindness to our bodies? I recently read an article concerning post-operative negative thought responses to knee replacements, etc., and think these mindful practices might be helpful. Something like a welcoming response?
Thank you! I love this so much and I deeply appreciate your work and sharing!
Makes a lot of sense – continuing to beat yourself up just makes you feel worse, but a very hard pattern to change.
The practice (repeated over and over in my case, thousands and thousands of times) of saying to myself “It’s not your fault” during moments of self-criticism and self-hatred has been transformational for me. I started doing this a few years ago after reading Tara’s book “Radical Acceptance” when my life was crumbling apart while I struggled with a brutally debilitating depression. Once I started to feel that this statement actually applied to me, that was the moment I could start to see what a good person I actually am, despite so many years of feeling otherwise. I come back to this exercise daily still and have come to know and feel deeply that these words “It’s not your fault” and “It’s not their fault either” come from our True Nature, one of peace, happiness, deep compassion, healing, and love. It’s nobody’s fault, as we’re all in this together. Feeling very thankful for these videos right now. A deep bow and many blessings to all 🙂