I think clients will feel a lot kinder and more compassionate to themselves so more open to hearing and doing better things for themselves, more open to learning and accepting who they are so more open and willing to change.
That was helpful – thank you. Shame is such a corrosive feeling and I have been finding it hard to move away from those feelings in one relationship in particular- a ricochet between anger and shame, actually. I am glad to have an inkling of an idea now how to shift from this situation
Mary Kim Kaylor, Occupational Therapy, Spring Park, MN, USAsays
This is quirky. I started practicing this exercise after my child with special needs was born. As I felt somehow responsible. While I practiced in my private time all these people around me were angry, accusing me of all sorts of neglect, blaming me on and on. I don’t want to even remember it. They were all just really angry. Years past. I had to leave that toxic environment. As it turns out, many years later. My beautiful daughter had a birth trauma that was from a negligent delivery. It was never me. But these angry people didn’t appreciate the work I was doing all along.
I’m now childless due to their severe and profound negativity and judgement. Passed along and damaged most of my sincere efforts at caring for her and her sister, working and creating change was next to impossible.
Thank you, Tara. You are a gift. And you have given me many gifts in my life and I will always be grateful for your book, Radical Accpetance. It continues to teach me and bear fruit as I journey through my life.
I think of my relationship with my sister, who I love. She needs support, financially and socially, and can sometimes be cranky and sometimes really fly off the handle. I am in a time when I need to be carefully monitoring what I expect of myself as I have just begun my counselling practice. This means that sometimes, even when there was time in my schedule, I have not made time to go see her, or take her out to visit our mother.
I realize I have been judging myself for this, but just under the surface. As I become aware of it I can see that I need to bring self love and understanding into the situation in my head and heart. It makes sense that I sometimes don’t have enough wherewithal to spare to do these visits. And even if it didn’t, feeling guilty about it and angry with myself for it has the effect of making me less likely to want to do the act of care for her. As I bring compassion for myself and a broader vision of the whole situation, I can feel the warmth of love that I have for her coming alive, like a black and white sketch becoming coloured. I feel the urge to contact her to set up a visit, but before I do that, I will have a look at my schedule to see how I am set up for self-care around that day.
colleen flanigan, Other, Pacific Grove, CA, USAsays
Whenever I feel disconnected from my heart in the throws of grief, shame, confusion, agitation, overwhelm…I trust in Tara Brach’s videos to help guide me to soften into my heart mind wisdom. This reconnects me through meditation and story-telling to my center, my compassion, my knowing, vulnerable self. Tears often flow to release any stuck pain and after the rain, my joy and light shine again with clarity. Thank you, Tara from my heart to yours
The knowing,continued anger that still, at times can arise from conversations with my mother.
The knowing of vengeful words that at times still spill out, is never a solution…let alone, healing. Progress, though slow and helpful, is not enough to take away the shame, yet. Grateful for the paths, and resilience to not give up.
I long for a better connection with my brother. This video helped me reflect upon new ways I can begin a dialogue with him when he explodes with rage and self-contempt.
The simple words “it’s not your fault” may be the most profoundly liberating thing we can tell ourselves as I had found it impactful to say to my clients. Tara, thank you for all all you do. Namaste.
I love me girl friend, I feel guilty for not wanting sex as much as her. I’m 62 and she is 47. We love each other and have open and honest relationship, and great sex. But I need it less
And we are both frastraited
What can we do?
Thanks tara I listen to you a lot
Yours
Dan
My brother and I have a pattern. I assume he is judging me when he is agitated or depressed. He then pulls farther away from me. Then I feel angry and get quiet… probably look hurt.
Then I judge myself as “too sensitive”, which makes me more separate from him. I then judge myself for not being able to be stronger. I feel too needy and self centered. Then I hate myself for being in this dance again.
Difficult to forgive oneself.. when your actions have left to a loss of a significant relationship when there is no possibility to make it up. Touching video. Thanks. Suzanne
When I tried this short exercise, it created an opening in my heart which brought some peace around the relationship, both with myself and around the relationship. Thank you so much!
I work with college students. Many experience academic failure or disappointment for the first time. The feelings of shame often block learning lessons from the failure. I’m good at getting them through this, but it is harder to do with my own life.
Genuinely forgiving myself might lead to a natural release in physical tension (a lightening of tightly holding an old fixed pattern in the body), thereby allowing more natural presence for meeting the present moment more flexibly, lightly and even playfully.
These advises are so good even try to remember and live them true. Thank you!
it will allow them to be more present in their relationships
Thank you 🙏
I think clients will feel a lot kinder and more compassionate to themselves so more open to hearing and doing better things for themselves, more open to learning and accepting who they are so more open and willing to change.
That was helpful – thank you. Shame is such a corrosive feeling and I have been finding it hard to move away from those feelings in one relationship in particular- a ricochet between anger and shame, actually. I am glad to have an inkling of an idea now how to shift from this situation
Lovely joining compassion and psychotherapy in one practice.
No, it leads to more guilt and anger with myself. I also feel others don’t understand and falsely accuse me of criticising them.
Somehow the words could not take root…
Genuinely forgiving ourselves allows us to truly show up and be present, instead of living (and fearing) an imagined future.
I would love to get to the place where I can pause before the anger erupts and to be able to forgive and have compassion for myself.
This could be the right way to release tension in a difficult relationship. This
This was a gentle reminder and much appreciated
This is quirky. I started practicing this exercise after my child with special needs was born. As I felt somehow responsible. While I practiced in my private time all these people around me were angry, accusing me of all sorts of neglect, blaming me on and on. I don’t want to even remember it. They were all just really angry. Years past. I had to leave that toxic environment. As it turns out, many years later. My beautiful daughter had a birth trauma that was from a negligent delivery. It was never me. But these angry people didn’t appreciate the work I was doing all along.
I’m now childless due to their severe and profound negativity and judgement. Passed along and damaged most of my sincere efforts at caring for her and her sister, working and creating change was next to impossible.
Thank you, Tara. You are a gift. And you have given me many gifts in my life and I will always be grateful for your book, Radical Accpetance. It continues to teach me and bear fruit as I journey through my life.
I think of my relationship with my sister, who I love. She needs support, financially and socially, and can sometimes be cranky and sometimes really fly off the handle. I am in a time when I need to be carefully monitoring what I expect of myself as I have just begun my counselling practice. This means that sometimes, even when there was time in my schedule, I have not made time to go see her, or take her out to visit our mother.
I realize I have been judging myself for this, but just under the surface. As I become aware of it I can see that I need to bring self love and understanding into the situation in my head and heart. It makes sense that I sometimes don’t have enough wherewithal to spare to do these visits. And even if it didn’t, feeling guilty about it and angry with myself for it has the effect of making me less likely to want to do the act of care for her. As I bring compassion for myself and a broader vision of the whole situation, I can feel the warmth of love that I have for her coming alive, like a black and white sketch becoming coloured. I feel the urge to contact her to set up a visit, but before I do that, I will have a look at my schedule to see how I am set up for self-care around that day.
Whenever I feel disconnected from my heart in the throws of grief, shame, confusion, agitation, overwhelm…I trust in Tara Brach’s videos to help guide me to soften into my heart mind wisdom. This reconnects me through meditation and story-telling to my center, my compassion, my knowing, vulnerable self. Tears often flow to release any stuck pain and after the rain, my joy and light shine again with clarity. Thank you, Tara from my heart to yours
Yes, Self Judgment destroy all the good intentions we possible have.
Valeria S. Wagner
São Paulo- Brazil
I still do not know how to forgive in dynamic situations when the emotional reaction already took place
Thank you.
Thank you for this series. I am able to look deeper within to discover why there are times I have not been kind and loving to myself.
I could be more open with my family.
Thank you, Tara, as always, your insight, and offering hits home!
The knowing,continued anger that still, at times can arise from conversations with my mother.
The knowing of vengeful words that at times still spill out, is never a solution…let alone, healing. Progress, though slow and helpful, is not enough to take away the shame, yet. Grateful for the paths, and resilience to not give up.
I long for a better connection with my brother. This video helped me reflect upon new ways I can begin a dialogue with him when he explodes with rage and self-contempt.
I’m very grateful for this offering. thank-you 🙏
This will really help me with clients in helping them to forgive them selves and relieve the shame they feel. Thank you.
I love these teachings!
Love your work Tara you inspire and calm me so much. It had made me reflect.
The power is within us thwarted by self blaming. Acceptance with compassion and gratitude heal the inner wound.
A very enlightening talk.
Thank you for showing my path to forgive my self
The simple words “it’s not your fault” may be the most profoundly liberating thing we can tell ourselves as I had found it impactful to say to my clients. Tara, thank you for all all you do. Namaste.
Thank you, Tara
I love me girl friend, I feel guilty for not wanting sex as much as her. I’m 62 and she is 47. We love each other and have open and honest relationship, and great sex. But I need it less
And we are both frastraited
What can we do?
Thanks tara I listen to you a lot
Yours
Dan
My brother and I have a pattern. I assume he is judging me when he is agitated or depressed. He then pulls farther away from me. Then I feel angry and get quiet… probably look hurt.
Then I judge myself as “too sensitive”, which makes me more separate from him. I then judge myself for not being able to be stronger. I feel too needy and self centered. Then I hate myself for being in this dance again.
Very helpful with examples that illustrate the effectiveness.
The meditation allowed me to see how much heaviness I have been caring around that I did not know I had. It helped to relieve some of that.
I would like to know more
Thank you for the reminder that I can always go deeper into self.
A useful lesson on self-hate and turning inside rather than forgiveness towards ourselves and others thank you
Difficult to forgive oneself.. when your actions have left to a loss of a significant relationship when there is no possibility to make it up. Touching video. Thanks. Suzanne
Thank you very much, your work is significant to me in my professional and personal life.
Like a weight has been lifted off of me, enormous relief.
I’m writing daily the good things that I do for myself and others. Naming those good things and how they affect me and others.
This truly resonates with me.
Thank you Tara!
unlock the reasons and remove the blocks that seem to sabotage the ways I would like to show up in the world.
When I tried this short exercise, it created an opening in my heart which brought some peace around the relationship, both with myself and around the relationship. Thank you so much!
I work with college students. Many experience academic failure or disappointment for the first time. The feelings of shame often block learning lessons from the failure. I’m good at getting them through this, but it is harder to do with my own life.
Genuinely forgiving myself might lead to a natural release in physical tension (a lightening of tightly holding an old fixed pattern in the body), thereby allowing more natural presence for meeting the present moment more flexibly, lightly and even playfully.
I do not hate myself for causing anyone harm. It has never been my intention.
What is no one comes to mind – or if you think of many people who are not in family.?
So difficult to do!