Powerful question about how to let myself go from a difficult relationship. Over time learning to set boundaries was key. And embracing that I do not have the capacity to help or change what many therapists could not. Still an emotional sadness wells up.
I brought to mind my adult daughter who passed away eight years ago. If I practice as if I am giving her, my daughter, the best advice I know, I can more easily move on. I’m not ready or able to comfort myself.
If I could release guilt within my relationship I would be bolder, brighter and lighter with that person rather than small, recessive and then resentful…
Anger , ignorance and attachment are all showing us that we have room for improvement and my regretting ourselves and taking refuge in a the Buddha dharma and sangha we can transform our defilement’s into wisdom and compassion for ourselves and offer it our the highest good of all sentient beings- so we use it for forgiveness for ourselves and to generate bodhichitta for all living beings
Thanks Tara, a timely reminder to forgive myself and I particularly liked the words ‘it’s not your fault’ and to use them when self awareness has been accessed.
In forgiving myself I am able to let go of some unnecessary feelings of responsibility and a desire to ‘fix’ a person or a situation. Self forgiveness can allow for more authentic generosity as it opens the heart.
Hello Tara,
I immediately thought of my relationship with my mother. Most of my life I lived in an abusive household. My mother has dementia and can not remember me and I felt glad about that. After the exercise I felt at peace just at peace.
I have not been able to connect with this practice (not the right time), the previous practice is perfect for this type of situation or when you are not able to forgive yourself or others 100%. Sometimes the best you can do is accepting things as they are ,no demands then radical acceptance is a healthy choice to put in practice. This time I choose that.
Self-forgiveness is very important, it is not easy but it is worthy. For me it brings more freedom and capacity to relate with others with more love and respect. It is easier to forgive others.
Being honest about about my feelings brings relief. Provides honesty. Acknowledges a sense of self integrity. Opens my heart yet is also a vulnerable challenge. Most times I can begin with doing so only with myself and at least that’s a step in the direction that I desire to travel along this significant path of trust and healing
I love Tara and her hard won wisdom. When she asked us to picture one person we have had difficulty with and to be as a friend to ourself.
I felt as if I was walking among sheltering trees. It was such a lovely experience I had tears within. What a helpful introduction to the course. It may be what I can learn from and grow with. Thank you
As i told young me, It is not your fault, and thought of being purely accepted, my heart felt hopeful that this brings a deeper change in me to further assist my clients experience their own healing with compassion.
Marcy Pincus, Another Field, Los Ranchos de Albuquerque, NM, USAsays
It helps me realize that I am a good person and I just fell off the path of belonging and loving kindness to the person I was not kind to. I have felt this terrible grief/guilt on what I said and how I said it to two people. I am ashamed and feel very guilty. After the video I felt somewhat better and want to continue forgiving myself and follow the suggested steps. I have been a fan of yours, Tara, for along time and I momentarily forgot your teachings in a state of anger. Thank you for doing this video series! Marcy
Forgiveness of one’s self opens the door to feeling more worthy of close, fulfilling relationships, and thereby offers hope for current and future relationships to thrive.
It is not your fault is a really important phrase. Even when you know it is true as in my case there is still sometimes a fear that I am missing something that could have made a difference and my husband would not have divorced me. I need to practice this every day.
Awareness is the first step it seems as well as being able to sit with the feelings that come up and holding myself with kindness. This is not necessarily so easy.
When I can forgive myself and acknowledge my part in a situation (take 100% responsibility), and really understand that I am not a bad person, then, I am able to have compassion for others.
It would relax me more and I would feel less shame. By forgiving myself it may make me more mindful of the things I do in the relationship that are harmful or unhelpful. Lastly it would help me forgive my partner for the times when he is grumpy or what I perceive as unjustly angry.
I have listened to other talks by Tara Brach and always find them helpful
By forgiving themselves they can give to others.
I’d love to give this a try & learn more about the exercise.
If it’s not my fault why did it happen.
I forgive myself for doing what I had to do to survive in my relationship.
Powerful question about how to let myself go from a difficult relationship. Over time learning to set boundaries was key. And embracing that I do not have the capacity to help or change what many therapists could not. Still an emotional sadness wells up.
Would love to try this. Thanks
it generates soft eyes, open heart
WOW. So personally helpful. I look forward to sharing it.
I’d love to try the exercises you gave Sam!
Thank you for your suggestions.
I brought to mind my adult daughter who passed away eight years ago. If I practice as if I am giving her, my daughter, the best advice I know, I can more easily move on. I’m not ready or able to comfort myself.
If I could release guilt within my relationship I would be bolder, brighter and lighter with that person rather than small, recessive and then resentful…
I found with self forgiving I could be more forgiving of the other…my heart felt more open!
Anger , ignorance and attachment are all showing us that we have room for improvement and my regretting ourselves and taking refuge in a the Buddha dharma and sangha we can transform our defilement’s into wisdom and compassion for ourselves and offer it our the highest good of all sentient beings- so we use it for forgiveness for ourselves and to generate bodhichitta for all living beings
Live in the present more fully. Stop rehashing the past and the “same old” issues. Courage to explore new experiences with others.
Thanks Tara, a timely reminder to forgive myself and I particularly liked the words ‘it’s not your fault’ and to use them when self awareness has been accessed.
In forgiving myself I am able to let go of some unnecessary feelings of responsibility and a desire to ‘fix’ a person or a situation. Self forgiveness can allow for more authentic generosity as it opens the heart.
This is so lovely and helpful.
Hello Tara,
I immediately thought of my relationship with my mother. Most of my life I lived in an abusive household. My mother has dementia and can not remember me and I felt glad about that. After the exercise I felt at peace just at peace.
HOW CAN THIS WORK IF YOU PAFTNER HAS DIED
FRAN HOPWOOD@ Gmail.com
These three videos have been so helpful. Thank you
This is great, thanks
I will try this.
It seems to be a very good practise with good results.
I have not been able to connect with this practice (not the right time), the previous practice is perfect for this type of situation or when you are not able to forgive yourself or others 100%. Sometimes the best you can do is accepting things as they are ,no demands then radical acceptance is a healthy choice to put in practice. This time I choose that.
Self-forgiveness is very important, it is not easy but it is worthy. For me it brings more freedom and capacity to relate with others with more love and respect. It is easier to forgive others.
Thank you Tara and blessings for all 🙏🏻
thank you
Self forgiveness is the first step to being able to address the “problems” of other relationships that lead clients to seek therapy
Forgiveness of self allows for forgiveness of others and facilitates the healing process. Noticing, allowing, and forgiving is a wonderful process.
I belong and I want go be reminded of this
Very touching to my heart
Being honest about about my feelings brings relief. Provides honesty. Acknowledges a sense of self integrity. Opens my heart yet is also a vulnerable challenge. Most times I can begin with doing so only with myself and at least that’s a step in the direction that I desire to travel along this significant path of trust and healing
I love Tara and her hard won wisdom. When she asked us to picture one person we have had difficulty with and to be as a friend to ourself.
I felt as if I was walking among sheltering trees. It was such a lovely experience I had tears within. What a helpful introduction to the course. It may be what I can learn from and grow with. Thank you
Love the profound simplicity of your work, Tara.
Very wise insights and questions to ask!
As i told young me, It is not your fault, and thought of being purely accepted, my heart felt hopeful that this brings a deeper change in me to further assist my clients experience their own healing with compassion.
I feel strong and capable
It helps me realize that I am a good person and I just fell off the path of belonging and loving kindness to the person I was not kind to. I have felt this terrible grief/guilt on what I said and how I said it to two people. I am ashamed and feel very guilty. After the video I felt somewhat better and want to continue forgiving myself and follow the suggested steps. I have been a fan of yours, Tara, for along time and I momentarily forgot your teachings in a state of anger. Thank you for doing this video series! Marcy
Self hatred, guilt and shame makes me feel small, constricted. The feeling of being stuck.
eradicate my own guilt, feeling responsibility for other’s well-being
Thank you Tara I love listening to you, a lovely way to start my day,or when I need some comforting and guidance.
Forgiveness of one’s self opens the door to feeling more worthy of close, fulfilling relationships, and thereby offers hope for current and future relationships to thrive.
It is not your fault is a really important phrase. Even when you know it is true as in my case there is still sometimes a fear that I am missing something that could have made a difference and my husband would not have divorced me. I need to practice this every day.
Awareness is the first step it seems as well as being able to sit with the feelings that come up and holding myself with kindness. This is not necessarily so easy.
I felt light and hopeful. I wanted to do something about the relationship and change my parts. Stuckness was addressed.
Thank you Tara,
I just had a flash back to an abusive young man. I saw him and thought, “it’s not your fault”
I felt a softening in my heart toward myself as well as him.
Allowing grief to be experienced certainly heals.
Loving Kindness is the only Solution.
Thank you as always,
Grace
I am curious to try out this meditation for myself and offering it to my clients.
When I can forgive myself and acknowledge my part in a situation (take 100% responsibility), and really understand that I am not a bad person, then, I am able to have compassion for others.
Thank you ! I do need help in this area.
Wonderful! Thank you
It would relax me more and I would feel less shame. By forgiving myself it may make me more mindful of the things I do in the relationship that are harmful or unhelpful. Lastly it would help me forgive my partner for the times when he is grumpy or what I perceive as unjustly angry.
Lots of shame melts away when you think of your kind friend accepting you rather than your worst fear judging you