I imagine the self forgiving would lead to me being more truthful with my partner about what is frustrating for me rather than lashing out and making it about what he has or hasn’t done
I feel that if I could forgive and accept myself I would be gentler and more real, nurturing and present with my children. If I could see my goodness, I would be able to see theirs. And other people’s. And be free to live a full life. I am so very grateful to have come across you Tara! Your words are like a warm hug, giving me hope that I can retrieve my soul!
loved your video’s Tara on how best to put into practice with self and clients, very clear simple but so effective on how to teach to others.
much appreciated
Josephine
Thank you for sharing this wise thougt. Of course we know the trance of unworthiness but somehow to incorporate its wisdom and find the stop button when forcefull emotions appear so you can reflect and choose different behaviour is something you need help with and practice so I look forward to the meditation, thank you again, Tineke
I would change how I psrent my daughter of I crested something so full of anger and hate maybe i can change how i approach her after self acceptance and self forgiveness
Your video is inspiring and resonates with the journey of healing I am (re)starting – more than ‘knowing what to heal’ it’s about feeling the forgiveness that helps advance and heal or help others. Thank you!
It would change the way I approach my parenting methods if I feel less guilty and fear of doing it wrong. If my past methods led to a child who is angry, I need to be sure my new approach does not reinforce that same outcome.
Dealing with shame, guilt and related emotions requires a lot of empathy and patience during a longterm work on a client´s change.
I appreciate your inspiring videos and reflections.
Best wishes.
It makes so much sense that until we can forgive and love ourself, we can’t expect to connect as healthily and happily with others. Thank you Tara for these inspirational ways forward.
There’s a lessening of reactiveness that I sense can be dropped into – my experience is a patchy ability to do this depending on other stressors and context – practice, practice, practice. As always – useful to share from one’s own experience.
Hello
The person at work who caught me out favouring some colleagues over others during a job interview.
She became very vindictive toward me and used gas lighting to undermine me from then on.
My confidence and feelings of focus changed to being htperaroused by her strategies to belittle me.
I managed this by not giving her air play and worked with my feeling NGOs of guilt that I’d favoured some colleagues by being honest with her and admitted I’d wanted to manipulate the job interview.
She was less vindictive after that and I felt relieved I’d confronted her.
Dear Tara and all people working with you, yes this is a beautiful way. I gave the same intructions to a client last week. She was laying on the massagetable and I asked her if she could imagine Jesus, Thay, or and other enlightened or very loving being, looking at her, full of love; seeing right through her with warm accepting, understanding and cherishing energy. Just now I did it myself aswell, and every time it moves and touches me deeply, like something is breaking open and expanses in the hart. For me it is like a reconnection to the whole, a energy that goes beyond the personal, a sense of belonging, joy, liquid love and interconnected spaciousness.
I always found it difficult when it comes to relationships I’ve been married over 18 years I still find that I am the guinea pig do everything for everyone else or no one does anything for me I feel trapped it’s only one way seems to me I don’t count when it comes to my feelings for my self for years I’ve always things for others and I am always the last two be considered
The person needs to recognise then inappropriateness of their anger as a starting point.
Is there a danger that the forgiveness they give to themselves can justify or excuse their behaviour to themselves so that they continue – I have seen this.
I would have my protective walls down; instead of expecting criticism & judgement from my partner, I would be strong in my forgiveness of myself and my humanity.
Thank you for your thoughtfulness and clarity in illuminating the cycle of self-judgement and suffering. In the beginning of the videos you talk about “what makes a difference” in those who move past self-judgement into a more loving sense of belonging. Often it seems that we live in a society, where self-judgement is expected and sometimes even disguised as self-improvement or being self-reflective. I am deeply appreciative of your work on mindfulness, coupled with self-acceptance and compassion as a pathway to change.
Jane Linley, Counseling, GB says
It could help release them from guilt and shame
Lisa H, Nursing, Philadelphia , PA, USA says
Thanks!
Heather Kaart, Another Field, CA says
I am interested to hear about this topic and see the video.
Carol W, Other, Carver, MA, USA says
It would change everything and allow me to release the heavy burden of regret I’ve been carrying for years.
Helen Corkhill, Teacher, AU says
To free myself from guilt will leave me free to help others rather than crippling myself with self absorbed guilt
Linda Hammond, Teacher, Cornish, NH, USA says
I grateful for this work you are doing. I’m interested in this class.
Teresa Belden, Supervisor, GoldenValley, MN, USA says
Forgiving myself might allow me to have more compassion for my partner and create a different kind of intimacy
Julia Foster, Counseling, GB says
I imagine the self forgiving would lead to me being more truthful with my partner about what is frustrating for me rather than lashing out and making it about what he has or hasn’t done
Ellen Doorn, Other, NL says
I feel that if I could forgive and accept myself I would be gentler and more real, nurturing and present with my children. If I could see my goodness, I would be able to see theirs. And other people’s. And be free to live a full life. I am so very grateful to have come across you Tara! Your words are like a warm hug, giving me hope that I can retrieve my soul!
Margaret Bartelt, Teacher, Walnut Creek, CA, USA says
Working on my 8th and 9th steps. These recording and guidance support my moving forward with self compassion and forgiveness
Bárbara Aldunce, Coach, CL says
I found out that is easier to forgive others than myself
Stephen Simmone, Other, Marengo, OH, USA says
Thank you Tara for thee reminder.
Live in love.
Josephine McDonnell, Counseling, GB says
loved your video’s Tara on how best to put into practice with self and clients, very clear simple but so effective on how to teach to others.
much appreciated
Josephine
Tineke Nijhuis, Coach, NL says
Thank you for sharing this wise thougt. Of course we know the trance of unworthiness but somehow to incorporate its wisdom and find the stop button when forcefull emotions appear so you can reflect and choose different behaviour is something you need help with and practice so I look forward to the meditation, thank you again, Tineke
Karen Salsbery, Social Work, Wichita, KS, USA says
By softening the experience, we/a client are more able to hear and choose our response.
Heather Matilda, Another Field, CA says
I would change how I psrent my daughter of I crested something so full of anger and hate maybe i can change how i approach her after self acceptance and self forgiveness
Martha Payne, Teacher, ES says
Thank you for the reminder that forgiveness and self-compassion can lead to opening the heart.
Ana Pintor, Other, PT says
I felt more acceptance and kinddeness to mi
A Wong, Psychotherapy, GB says
When I can genuinely forgive myself, I don’t feel as defensive and less likely to project my shadow onto others.
Annabel Brown, Other, GB says
I struggle with this and this video has some valuable insights
Elizabeth Del Rio, Psychotherapy, PA says
It makes me feel less judgemental for the action I did take, is like a kind of feeling more relax…
Caroline H., Other, BE says
Your video is inspiring and resonates with the journey of healing I am (re)starting – more than ‘knowing what to heal’ it’s about feeling the forgiveness that helps advance and heal or help others. Thank you!
Bonnie Ludovico, Student, Haddam, CT, USA says
It would change the way I approach my parenting methods if I feel less guilty and fear of doing it wrong. If my past methods led to a child who is angry, I need to be sure my new approach does not reinforce that same outcome.
Lara Du Chenne, Psychology, ZA says
Incredible how when one starts with self forgiveness, so much else falls into place. Thank you!
Ann Broadfoot, Nursing, NZ says
forgiving myself frees me up to be present and courageous and available again…more open to understanding and ways of helping.
Noemi Santana, Another Field, ES says
So comforting, as always, thank you so much Tara
Dagmar Schneidrova, Counseling, CZ says
Dealing with shame, guilt and related emotions requires a lot of empathy and patience during a longterm work on a client´s change.
I appreciate your inspiring videos and reflections.
Best wishes.
Aashima Jain, Other, IN says
I feel I am judgmental unknowingly
Kate Anon, Counseling, GB says
It makes so much sense that until we can forgive and love ourself, we can’t expect to connect as healthily and happily with others. Thank you Tara for these inspirational ways forward.
Sara Pom, Teacher, DE says
When I practice self-forgiveness I immediately have more compassion for the other other person … I feel more connected.
Cate Fish, Nursing, GB says
There’s a lessening of reactiveness that I sense can be dropped into – my experience is a patchy ability to do this depending on other stressors and context – practice, practice, practice. As always – useful to share from one’s own experience.
Jqnne Graham, Nursing, AU says
Hello
The person at work who caught me out favouring some colleagues over others during a job interview.
She became very vindictive toward me and used gas lighting to undermine me from then on.
My confidence and feelings of focus changed to being htperaroused by her strategies to belittle me.
I managed this by not giving her air play and worked with my feeling NGOs of guilt that I’d favoured some colleagues by being honest with her and admitted I’d wanted to manipulate the job interview.
She was less vindictive after that and I felt relieved I’d confronted her.
concetta arnese, Psychotherapy, SG says
That’s powerful! imagining doing something differently – after forgiveness- really helps to feel and do differently
Martha Peacock, Psychology, Boulder, CO, USA says
I feel less reactive toward that person.
kyle shields, Another Field, Bourbonnais, IL, USA says
Thank you for Sharing.
Gonneke de Haan, Another Field, NL says
Dear Tara and all people working with you, yes this is a beautiful way. I gave the same intructions to a client last week. She was laying on the massagetable and I asked her if she could imagine Jesus, Thay, or and other enlightened or very loving being, looking at her, full of love; seeing right through her with warm accepting, understanding and cherishing energy. Just now I did it myself aswell, and every time it moves and touches me deeply, like something is breaking open and expanses in the hart. For me it is like a reconnection to the whole, a energy that goes beyond the personal, a sense of belonging, joy, liquid love and interconnected spaciousness.
Eileen Murphy, Physical Therapy, IE says
Thank you for reconnecting me to your powerful words and beautiful heart
Abi Chin, Coach, CN says
Thank you for sharing the light
Alexandra Lepiorz, Another Field, DE says
Let the light in
K N, Another Field, GB says
Thank you for guiding me. Last 10 years, your talks, courses and meditation have supported me .
Mirjam Rosenberg, Medicine, CH says
The More forgiving one is with oneself the more forgiving one can be with others.
Gina Barry, Counseling, AU says
self compassion is key to self forgiveness and empathy. self blame is very destructive. I am grateful to learn the value of self-compassion.
Lena H, Coach, Eureka, CA, USA says
If I genuinely forgave myself, I would be more open, present, and open to possibilities in my relationship.
San Hutch, Psychology, AU says
Thank you. A helpful exercise as a starting point to change
Sara Richardson, Counseling, GB says
Thank you for sharing this.
N K, Other, GB says
I always found it difficult when it comes to relationships I’ve been married over 18 years I still find that I am the guinea pig do everything for everyone else or no one does anything for me I feel trapped it’s only one way seems to me I don’t count when it comes to my feelings for my self for years I’ve always things for others and I am always the last two be considered
Filomena Concia, Other, Vancouver, WA, USA says
Thank you- that spoke to me.
Rose Martinez, Coach, Vanderville, CA, USA says
This is such a simple intervention. Thank you for sharing I think I can use it with the parents I support.
Caro Strover, Psychology, GB says
The person needs to recognise then inappropriateness of their anger as a starting point.
Is there a danger that the forgiveness they give to themselves can justify or excuse their behaviour to themselves so that they continue – I have seen this.
Hope Kanaley, Other, North Tustin, CA, USA says
I would have my protective walls down; instead of expecting criticism & judgement from my partner, I would be strong in my forgiveness of myself and my humanity.
JUDITH MCNELIS, Another Field, Voorhees, NJ, USA says
Thank You
Laurene Sheilds, Nursing, CA says
Thank you for your thoughtfulness and clarity in illuminating the cycle of self-judgement and suffering. In the beginning of the videos you talk about “what makes a difference” in those who move past self-judgement into a more loving sense of belonging. Often it seems that we live in a society, where self-judgement is expected and sometimes even disguised as self-improvement or being self-reflective. I am deeply appreciative of your work on mindfulness, coupled with self-acceptance and compassion as a pathway to change.