Linda La France, Counseling, Littleton, NH, USAsays
When I started the gesture of kindness practice to myself, tears started running down my cheeks. I was taught to take care of others, leaving no care for me. The only person who seemed to care for me was my grandson (who I cannot contact) and the 91 year old lady I was caregiver to (because she needed me to survive, being fragile and wheelchair bound). Any others had passed or left me. I need to learn to give myself more loving kindness.
I felt it was my belly that wanted the comfort of my hand. I then noticed the tightness in my jaw. and tears wanting to come out.
I’ll keep trying to notice with kindness and keep listening to Tara
For me, the important part of this message is the reality that the hurts and shame and self-criticism are so deeply rooted and that therefore practice is the only way to shift things.
I feel more open and more love and compassion towards self. However, my brain has a lot of trouble with how I can move forward and past this so that I am able to function in the “real world”. Ultimately, I believe there is a major fear that these feelings of love and compassion towards myself are self-indulgent and they’ll just lead me to make further excuses and not be able to function in life. I have yet to figure out how to address this fear and quieten that voice.
Feelings of warmth and forgiveness. Everyone feels this way at some time. I am not alone. Use it to deal with parents of patients/peers. They sometimes act in fear. Perhaps a remembrance of the fact that in a way, we are the same. Though I am not sure that sometimes I want to think that. It scares me to think that I may lack common sense, that I may lack the ability to handle a situation.
Being self-aware is very opening! I am more than an errant! I’m more than space-taker! I am present took me practice time! First step was to listen rather than respond! Giving someone my attention was revealing and helpful. Second step was to learn how to respond to someone without posting an alternative view. Third step was to accept this exchange as real life!
I think, as an 81 year old woman with a husband to whom I have been married for 58 years but who is now suffering now from dementia, I have always thought of self compassion as self indulgence but thanks to your mindfulness sessions under the heading of the Radical compassion Institute I am learning to realise that caring for others, important as it is, has prevented me caring for myself and now that I need it so very desperately I am learning the importance of self care that you describe so beautifully. Thank you.
When you have been hurt by someone else ending a relationship in a very hurtful, life changing way… but you’re gone through your own journey of acceptance and self love and feel the desire to forgive them in order to grieve the end of the relationship… but they don’t take any responsibility for their behaviour… how can I cross over? I feel a deep desire to resolve and grieve but it feels like that is also being taken away because of their selfish behaviour, which still impacts me because we have children together and still have to interact
I love this message. Although I have been practicing mindfulness I still have certain people/family members that trigger insecurities. In these situations I feel like I Jane not made progressed. I have to be very gentle with myself and return to being the observer of my feelings. It’s hard! ♥️🙏
Showing kindness and understanding to myself makes me feel calm and gentle and warm. For a long time I masked feelings under anger. I got very sick with COVID and didn’t have the energy to feed the anger and was open to change. My therapist led me to mindfulness and to Tara as another way to work on the anxiety that my life changes and illness has produced. It was so hard at first practicing mindfulness and meditation. But as I continue to try I grow around all that grief that I masked as anger. I actively practice mindfulness and hope to remap my brain to choose self compassion over anger as my default setting.
Feelings of loving kindness and peace came up but also the thought that you are not perfect, but then the response, you are a work in progress, be gentle with yourself. This comes with lots of practice. Initial thoughts before starting this were judgmental, there are still those thoughts but they don’t come first. Self acceptance is a continual practice
I found that I quickly dropped from the “surface” concerns and criticisms (professional, egoic) to seeing myself as a sweet little soul. Those things that I’m judging myself over are not the important things! They don’t matter.
While placing my hand on my heart with eyes close my breathing slows down and most of body feels very relaxed except for a little tension in my jaw. I suspect it is just a reminder that I have a lot to do today! When I am with a client I rarely feel tension but perhaps a little pre and post session as I prepare or reflect. Breath work always works for me! Thanks for your teachings! They always bring more insight into how we can help ourselves and more importantly our clients!
Linda Lapetino, Psychotherapy, Los Angeles, CA, USAsays
I think the physical gesture of your hand over your heart, gives warmth and attention to that area. And just focusing on that warmth and touch, helps me slow down, notice, just be in the moment. Thank you for all these free teachings and reminders. They are short and to the point. Love them, much appreciated.
Feeling kind to myself was a relief, and I felt lighter. It helped to acknowledge the suffering, and that there are difficult things happening – it’s OK to feel the hurt of that and be kind to myself. Thank you.
Feelings of compassion. Thanks for clear guidance.
I nearly burst into tears.
Feelings of compassion
Thanks for clear guidance.
I started breathing more deeply, and a sense of self recognition and acceptance.
Amazing. I felt I really did deeply care, I wasn’t expecting that. Thank you
Resistance. Tightness. Sadness.
Grace I am enough 🌸🙏🏻
When I started the gesture of kindness practice to myself, tears started running down my cheeks. I was taught to take care of others, leaving no care for me. The only person who seemed to care for me was my grandson (who I cannot contact) and the 91 year old lady I was caregiver to (because she needed me to survive, being fragile and wheelchair bound). Any others had passed or left me. I need to learn to give myself more loving kindness.
I felt great comfort placing my hands on my heart.A sense of softning and being there for me felt good.
It felt warm but tears were coming too.
Warm tenderness
A feeling that it’s alright to feel raw and vulnerable and an acknowledgment that I expect so much of myself
It’s lovely when I’m really with myself.
I feel loved
A lighter more open feeling.
I felt it was my belly that wanted the comfort of my hand. I then noticed the tightness in my jaw. and tears wanting to come out.
I’ll keep trying to notice with kindness and keep listening to Tara
A sense of relief. And peace.
I feel a little bit sad for the hurting in my hart.
With the gesture to my heart I smile to myself, and feel love and understanding.
I felt as though I was giving comfort and love to myself.
Incredible
Light colour and shift!
It had a very calming and peaceful effect.
Thanks
For me, the important part of this message is the reality that the hurts and shame and self-criticism are so deeply rooted and that therefore practice is the only way to shift things.
I feel more open and more love and compassion towards self. However, my brain has a lot of trouble with how I can move forward and past this so that I am able to function in the “real world”. Ultimately, I believe there is a major fear that these feelings of love and compassion towards myself are self-indulgent and they’ll just lead me to make further excuses and not be able to function in life. I have yet to figure out how to address this fear and quieten that voice.
Feelings of warmth and forgiveness. Everyone feels this way at some time. I am not alone. Use it to deal with parents of patients/peers. They sometimes act in fear. Perhaps a remembrance of the fact that in a way, we are the same. Though I am not sure that sometimes I want to think that. It scares me to think that I may lack common sense, that I may lack the ability to handle a situation.
I felt a warmth wash into my stomach which, then, diminished my anxiety.
I feel softening
Peace, compassion, and acceptance of self and others.
I will use this practice to deal with my feelings when triggered by others and family.
Is coming to a lot of love and self-acceptance. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Tara!
I felt hope tinged with fear
Thanks for doing it
Being self-aware is very opening! I am more than an errant! I’m more than space-taker! I am present took me practice time! First step was to listen rather than respond! Giving someone my attention was revealing and helpful. Second step was to learn how to respond to someone without posting an alternative view. Third step was to accept this exchange as real life!
I think, as an 81 year old woman with a husband to whom I have been married for 58 years but who is now suffering now from dementia, I have always thought of self compassion as self indulgence but thanks to your mindfulness sessions under the heading of the Radical compassion Institute I am learning to realise that caring for others, important as it is, has prevented me caring for myself and now that I need it so very desperately I am learning the importance of self care that you describe so beautifully. Thank you.
When you have been hurt by someone else ending a relationship in a very hurtful, life changing way… but you’re gone through your own journey of acceptance and self love and feel the desire to forgive them in order to grieve the end of the relationship… but they don’t take any responsibility for their behaviour… how can I cross over? I feel a deep desire to resolve and grieve but it feels like that is also being taken away because of their selfish behaviour, which still impacts me because we have children together and still have to interact
tenderness, sadness, warmth
tenderness
I felt a wave of peace and contentment – Will certainly share this experience with others .
tears
Like a little bit of weight was lifted, and now a little calmer.
I love this message. Although I have been practicing mindfulness I still have certain people/family members that trigger insecurities. In these situations I feel like I Jane not made progressed. I have to be very gentle with myself and return to being the observer of my feelings. It’s hard! ♥️🙏
Showing kindness and understanding to myself makes me feel calm and gentle and warm. For a long time I masked feelings under anger. I got very sick with COVID and didn’t have the energy to feed the anger and was open to change. My therapist led me to mindfulness and to Tara as another way to work on the anxiety that my life changes and illness has produced. It was so hard at first practicing mindfulness and meditation. But as I continue to try I grow around all that grief that I masked as anger. I actively practice mindfulness and hope to remap my brain to choose self compassion over anger as my default setting.
Beautiful! I am so happy you are well and for your spiritual growth.
I resonated deeply with this video. During the few moments of practice the feelings that came up were those of grief.
Felt safety
A feeling of calm and feeling good from inside
More calm…..smoother inside!
A softening of my whole body. A slight shift towards compassion and empathy to myself x
Feelings of loving kindness and peace came up but also the thought that you are not perfect, but then the response, you are a work in progress, be gentle with yourself. This comes with lots of practice. Initial thoughts before starting this were judgmental, there are still those thoughts but they don’t come first. Self acceptance is a continual practice
I found that I quickly dropped from the “surface” concerns and criticisms (professional, egoic) to seeing myself as a sweet little soul. Those things that I’m judging myself over are not the important things! They don’t matter.
While placing my hand on my heart with eyes close my breathing slows down and most of body feels very relaxed except for a little tension in my jaw. I suspect it is just a reminder that I have a lot to do today! When I am with a client I rarely feel tension but perhaps a little pre and post session as I prepare or reflect. Breath work always works for me! Thanks for your teachings! They always bring more insight into how we can help ourselves and more importantly our clients!
I think the physical gesture of your hand over your heart, gives warmth and attention to that area. And just focusing on that warmth and touch, helps me slow down, notice, just be in the moment. Thank you for all these free teachings and reminders. They are short and to the point. Love them, much appreciated.
Feeling kind to myself was a relief, and I felt lighter. It helped to acknowledge the suffering, and that there are difficult things happening – it’s OK to feel the hurt of that and be kind to myself. Thank you.