The gesture of kindness towards the hurting self, done over and over again, with presence – thank you Tara for the gift of opening the heart so self and other becomes less & less separate.
Thank you. A beautiful, simple process. I have been feeling very hurt and resentful about one or two things and just this little gesture was so healing. It is like someone who loves and cares about me is being fully present with me, without judgement. Resentment is such an unattractive and unacceptable state in our culture and yet so prevalent, like a shadow we are constantly denying. This gave me a chance to be with it.
When I placed my hand on my heart, I thought to myself, “You are loved. This has nothing to do with how others treat you. This love is real. This love is always true.” I felt more at peace. And less alone.
I felt immediately comforted and more in tune with my body with the gesture of kindness. And I was a little reluctant to do it! I’m so glad I did. Thank you. ❤️
The kindness practice is a great tool for releasing difficult emotions and it allows you to have inner peace and it makes you feel lighter, and deeply more in love with yourself.
Feelings of sadness came up
For me during this one. I think these important steps would be helpful for most people. I am familiar with the idea of self loathing. Even if a client is not self loathing, they may still have unforgiven acts that they have hidden inside somewhere that need to be discovered by digging deeper and resolved so that they can move on with self kindness and love. What are the ways to find these repressed feelings and/or memories?
Understanding that even though I make mistakes I do try really hard to get it right with others. Mistakes are easier to make when I’m feeling even the potential of judgement from myself or others.
The Kindness practice allowed me to experience a peaceful acceptance of where I find myself in the moment while I am meditating. For a moment I accept myself for who I am and my relationship with my partner.
The moment that I placed my hand on my chest, thoughts like “you have been trying to be your best all the times and it is ok to just relax a little and not try so hard”. I don’t know where it comes from but I can feel my body reacts to this quite strongly. Amazing!
Needing all of the attention..comes from my self-judgment of not being valued it keeps me from showing up real in that I am a lovable caring and sensitive person. From reaction to response with loving-kindness — Mingo
When I placed my hand over my heart and said I care about you sadness and crying occurred. It like I never thought about caring for myself I have been caring for others my whole life as a nurse at age 67.
I remember step 1 naming the emotions eg not good enough, guilt etc.
I remember step 3 putting hand on heart, giving compassion which is a soft glow and very loving to do. It’s taken me a while to remember. Step 2 is acceptance.
With the intention of making a gesture of kindness to myself and my hand over my heart, this phrase arises: “This heart includes me, too.” As an oncology nurse practitioner, mother and citizen of the world, my heart has been deeply engaged in passionate and compassionate support of others. The spontaneity of the phrase above was immediate and so simple, so deeply felt.
Barbara Van Zoeren, Social Work, Arlington , MA, USAsays
I’ve experienced a similar transformation and softening that allows more self acceptance and leads to less criticism of others. Thanks for this clear and helpful teaching.
I often place my hand on my heart as I fall asleep and listen to a affirming and encouraging devotional or affirm myself or recite a scripture verse that is affirming. Fall asleep like a baby and find that it determines how I start my day. with clients I often use the ocean during guided imagery or meditation for letting go of thoughts, feelings or sensations in their bodies.
Step Two has been a challenge for me in general. I appreciate the clarity and realism you bring to this practice. In other words, mindfully feeling and accepting my feelings will take much practice. At this point, I experience the inner tension of looking at myself. Perhaps, I’m engaging the mind here where the attention needs to be in the heart (i.e. hand on heart to activate my feeling sense.) This balance of heart and mind can be confusing. Does that make sense?
Tender feelings, regret of why can I not always think of this, it is so simple but when doing it on my own then I the doubt are still behind, so I wold do this all day long… 🙂
I loss my mother 6 months ago, and now I’m loosing my father too, I know it’s coming, I had problems with both feet, first my right 3 weeks ago,
Anfo now I broke my left one, I fell that it has to do with loosing security and grounding, I realize this, and my body expressing literally, I feel sad, I have to admit it, my inner child is suffering and i have to give space to my suffer, its ok!
Tears and sadness came up. Maybe sadness for being raised in an alcoholic family and all that trauma. It also felt good, like I’m taking care of my “little one”.
At first, I felt a sense of relief and release of tension but, almost immediately, self-judgment entered again. I felt the sting of criticism that I received from a parent my entire life. I know this criticism well; in fact, while it originally came from my father, it has become my own loud and booming self-condemning voice. It drowns out all efforts to self-sooth and heal, and sometimes, to go on.
I understand the practice of continuous effort to rewire the brain and have had success doing so in many areas of my life in need of change. I also use practices to aid my clients in doing the same; however, this particular trauma has great tenacity, as if it has a life of its own which refuses to let go. This is a reminder to me of how my clients must be experiencing their own trauma.
I will continue to practice the three steps, and offer it to my clients as well. Thank you.
Hi. I identify with the tenacity of the judging mind. I’m in the process of learning to surrender it through meditation. I do believe that tenacious, patient practice is showing me how to rest my vigilant mind. Best to you in your process!
I found this information to be so true and also to be the reminder I needed to bring me out of the suffering that I have been experiencing. Thank you SO much for your priceless words of wisdom and your loving kind and healing presence. Bless you.
My tummy started gurgling instantly, my shoulders dropped. I feel more space inside. Thanks for sharing these simple and profound gems 💎🙏🌺
The gesture of kindness towards the hurting self, done over and over again, with presence – thank you Tara for the gift of opening the heart so self and other becomes less & less separate.
Thank you. A beautiful, simple process. I have been feeling very hurt and resentful about one or two things and just this little gesture was so healing. It is like someone who loves and cares about me is being fully present with me, without judgement. Resentment is such an unattractive and unacceptable state in our culture and yet so prevalent, like a shadow we are constantly denying. This gave me a chance to be with it.
When I placed my hand on my heart, I thought to myself, “You are loved. This has nothing to do with how others treat you. This love is real. This love is always true.” I felt more at peace. And less alone.
I always feel calmer and more centered after Tara Brach’s workshops. I especially love the questions she offers…very insightful!
I’ve lived my life judging myself harshly. I feel more hopeful
Hope. Relief. Anticipation. Gratitude
I felt immediately comforted and more in tune with my body with the gesture of kindness. And I was a little reluctant to do it! I’m so glad I did. Thank you. ❤️
The kindness practice is a great tool for releasing difficult emotions and it allows you to have inner peace and it makes you feel lighter, and deeply more in love with yourself.
Feelings of sadness came up
For me during this one. I think these important steps would be helpful for most people. I am familiar with the idea of self loathing. Even if a client is not self loathing, they may still have unforgiven acts that they have hidden inside somewhere that need to be discovered by digging deeper and resolved so that they can move on with self kindness and love. What are the ways to find these repressed feelings and/or memories?
Understanding that even though I make mistakes I do try really hard to get it right with others. Mistakes are easier to make when I’m feeling even the potential of judgement from myself or others.
I always love how Tara explains how the brain works in such understandable ways.
And how powerful accessing our evolved brain can rewire our brains.
Powerful tools …thankyou
I welcomed a feeling of relaxed inner peace… Thank you
Feelings of lightness of my heart. My mind wasn’t so heavy any more.
The Kindness practice allowed me to experience a peaceful acceptance of where I find myself in the moment while I am meditating. For a moment I accept myself for who I am and my relationship with my partner.
I’m grateful for this chance to absorb the positive insight via NICABM.
Thank You 🕊
The moment that I placed my hand on my chest, thoughts like “you have been trying to be your best all the times and it is ok to just relax a little and not try so hard”. I don’t know where it comes from but I can feel my body reacts to this quite strongly. Amazing!
Needing all of the attention..comes from my self-judgment of not being valued it keeps me from showing up real in that I am a lovable caring and sensitive person. From reaction to response with loving-kindness — Mingo
A feeling of Lightness and spaciousness in my heart. Feels healing and nourishing.
Doing the final exercise I was able to say tender loving words to myself, and feel my chest full of warmth.. thank you Tara
Warmth, caring, and calming of the emotions and thoughts – mindfully redirecting peace inward and focus on me
“It’s not my fault” seems to give instant forgiveness and just some kindness towards self. I don’t have any clients.
As I said I love you to myself a spontaneous chuckle came out of me and a big smile spread across my face!
When I placed my hand over my heart and said I care about you sadness and crying occurred. It like I never thought about caring for myself I have been caring for others my whole life as a nurse at age 67.
I remember step 1 naming the emotions eg not good enough, guilt etc.
I remember step 3 putting hand on heart, giving compassion which is a soft glow and very loving to do. It’s taken me a while to remember. Step 2 is acceptance.
I felt a softening and settling more into my body as a connected with feelings of vulnerability and offered compassion.
That I’ve spent my entire life hating myself
With the intention of making a gesture of kindness to myself and my hand over my heart, this phrase arises: “This heart includes me, too.” As an oncology nurse practitioner, mother and citizen of the world, my heart has been deeply engaged in passionate and compassionate support of others. The spontaneity of the phrase above was immediate and so simple, so deeply felt.
I relaxed
I’ve experienced a similar transformation and softening that allows more self acceptance and leads to less criticism of others. Thanks for this clear and helpful teaching.
Warmth, comfort, security, peace, space, being in connection with myself. Thank you Tara!
When I place my hand on my heart and offer kindness to myself, I feel relaxed, held and reconnected.
Difficult to find compassion for my worst behaviors so quickly. I do think I can do it. Hopefully being aware will foster self-compassion
Thank you. I’ve learned to place more emphasis on caring for my inner self. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for making this available.
I felt a softening, like the hard edges of guilt or shame were being removed.
I need to have more time to process this
I often place my hand on my heart as I fall asleep and listen to a affirming and encouraging devotional or affirm myself or recite a scripture verse that is affirming. Fall asleep like a baby and find that it determines how I start my day. with clients I often use the ocean during guided imagery or meditation for letting go of thoughts, feelings or sensations in their bodies.
Held self with same love; compassion and adoration that I have for babies and young children.
Step Two has been a challenge for me in general. I appreciate the clarity and realism you bring to this practice. In other words, mindfully feeling and accepting my feelings will take much practice. At this point, I experience the inner tension of looking at myself. Perhaps, I’m engaging the mind here where the attention needs to be in the heart (i.e. hand on heart to activate my feeling sense.) This balance of heart and mind can be confusing. Does that make sense?
I take care of you I said to myself. I felt warm and lightful also in my body. I was smiling.
Tender feelings, regret of why can I not always think of this, it is so simple but when doing it on my own then I the doubt are still behind, so I wold do this all day long… 🙂
Thank you
I loss my mother 6 months ago, and now I’m loosing my father too, I know it’s coming, I had problems with both feet, first my right 3 weeks ago,
Anfo now I broke my left one, I fell that it has to do with loosing security and grounding, I realize this, and my body expressing literally, I feel sad, I have to admit it, my inner child is suffering and i have to give space to my suffer, its ok!
Self-judjement take a lot of energyl. I need some rest(compassion).
Tears and sadness came up. Maybe sadness for being raised in an alcoholic family and all that trauma. It also felt good, like I’m taking care of my “little one”.
Thank you!
I said to myself “it’s ok” and felt my shoulders becoming more lose and my breath going deeper to my belly.
At first, I felt a sense of relief and release of tension but, almost immediately, self-judgment entered again. I felt the sting of criticism that I received from a parent my entire life. I know this criticism well; in fact, while it originally came from my father, it has become my own loud and booming self-condemning voice. It drowns out all efforts to self-sooth and heal, and sometimes, to go on.
I understand the practice of continuous effort to rewire the brain and have had success doing so in many areas of my life in need of change. I also use practices to aid my clients in doing the same; however, this particular trauma has great tenacity, as if it has a life of its own which refuses to let go. This is a reminder to me of how my clients must be experiencing their own trauma.
I will continue to practice the three steps, and offer it to my clients as well. Thank you.
Hi. I identify with the tenacity of the judging mind. I’m in the process of learning to surrender it through meditation. I do believe that tenacious, patient practice is showing me how to rest my vigilant mind. Best to you in your process!
I found this information to be so true and also to be the reminder I needed to bring me out of the suffering that I have been experiencing. Thank you SO much for your priceless words of wisdom and your loving kind and healing presence. Bless you.