I’m aware of thought of letting my 53 yr old daughter down who seems to be having a teauma response to her beloved 95 yr old grandmothers decision to choosing Medical Assistance in dying a few wks ago. I’m feeling griev grieved that she is pushing me away and inadequate not good enough in my not understanding her needs when I believe that I ordinariwould recognize how to flreach out compassionately to help her.
I’ve been working on self acceptance from a faith based perspective. Believing God loves me unconditionally has been a great help. Today as I listened to step 3 I realized if He loves me I can offer myself the same. So when I placed my hand on my heart in the exercise I told myself “ since God loves me, I love me” I repeated that as a mantra and as I breathed in and out I could picture the sea waves washing Love in to me and then taking my love out to others. Thank you for this powerful teaching.
For me I felt tranquillity, care and gentleness and also clarity and decisiveness to act on important decisions coming up.
I see this a a valuable exercise with clients to help them to move from a state of self hate and anger – with self and others – into a space of caring, calm and clear, focussed energy.
I felt that there were a lot of things and feelings that were challenging. But I’m going to continue practicing because there’s many many feelings to work through. A whole life’s worth in fact. Well nearly 48 years of it anyway. So it will probably take a long time before I’m feeling better in myself about things and be able to think differently about things in my life and be happier.
I sense the warmth and the hurt. I turn my gaze toward a small tomato plant – and see it needs a shower against parasites. This is also a pattern. Turning the kindness outward. It is a deflection. But I act. Maybe I also count on the return under the umbrella of responsability. I feel the strong urge to act out of joy! I feel this from my first chakra.
It gave me a glimpse of letting go and resting in the universality of everything. I will benefit so much by practicing this often and hope others do too. Thank you Tara.
I felt the gesture of kindness as an embryonic part of myself. If I practice and not let caring for others before myself, maybe – just maybe there is a road to self-acceptance of all my parts.
Thank you for this. I have had self judgment for years and years, and still I and giving to others except myself. I will use this for myself as well as with others. Thank you so much. I can feel self compassion for my inner self. You are such a kind soul.
I am realy thankful of getting this teaching which deeply touched me. Thank you Tara. Over years you taught me how to develope from my inner judgements to an inner state of self compassion which results in feeling of being able to love.
Your invitation to send myself a message of care prompted a thought that that is not straightforward – many of us don’t really know what that means. As I had that thought, I felt tearful. Maybe you could include some suggestions of caring messages that we might send ourselves?
Offering a gesture of kindness to myself, it helped to really notice the feeling of my hand on my heart, to stay in that moment a little, and take a couple of deep breaths so that I did not dismiss what I was saying to myself…letting the words move on in.
Whilst I am not qualified, I have been teaching meditation for many years in our Buddhist centre. This straightforward teaching is very helpful. Thank you.
I am so sad that i cannot help my daughter or repair our rift because I have a disability that may stem from having my thyroid radiated and killed 37 years ago that seems to have damaged my ability to respond normally, biologically. I think the replacement thyroid hormone cannot act the same way it would if I had a thyroid.
I have tried counseling, meditation, etc and my body and mind just do not seem to compensate for the unnatural system of the intake of hormone once per day, possibly not reaching my tissues (only blood stream)?
It seems that no matter how hard I try to notice my thoughts, accept them and feelings, I don’t progress to responding and not reacting much of the time. And then feeling bad about hurting others by my bad temper.
I am disabled, but almost loosing hope of ever functioning normally (as a person with a thyroid would). Stress and the pandemic has made making changes in my housing (that I want) and improvement difficult.
Belkis Weatherly, Social Work, Pasadena , TX, USAsays
I look forward to receiving information regarding this topic. I have not been working for the last 19 years I was raising children and had some issues with health. However at this time I’m doing better I completed the task I’m raising the family and I am interested in going back to work.
A lovely practical gesture to put a tender kind hand on our heart. I work with Tara’s RAIN meditation and use this too. This gesture I can use with clients who are very hard on themselves, lots of self blame and self aversion, so they have some tools. Thank you, great video.
Don Shapiro, Social Work, Cedar Crest, NM, USAsays
I felt a smile spread throughout my body! Next, I realized that the positive affirmation was really an authentic feeling when compared to the the self critical feelings were based on old and mistaken trauma-related feelings and attitudes about myself!
Placing my hand in my heart with kindness and self compassion really got me in touch with myself and made me feel so much better and ready to connect with myself and others.
Renee Stemmer, Social Work, Cherry hill, NJ, USAsays
Identifying 3 skills to practice to reduce negative and judgmental thoughts was very helpful. It was very interesting to hear the explanation of the prefrontal lobe and the limbic system.
Tara your work is an act of kindness. thank you for sharing your wisdom.
Thank-you.
I appreciated hearing about the process of paying attention to thoughts, naming your feelings, and showing compassion and kindness to the self with hand over heart. It did feel comforting and I’m sure that it would become more so with regular practice. I have been doing this at times over the past few years. Have watched the radical acceptance workshop too. Grateful for all of this in my life.
I start to cry, not uncontrollably but perhaps allowing myself to have sadness/grief/suffering and seeing how sad situation was. I wasn’t raised to show emotions, especially “negative” ones. When there was the first death of a grandparent, I was told not to cry.
Dear Tara, when I put my hand on my heart as you suggested I felt an instant compassion for myself and love for myself and care
I realise that your talk today has come at a perfect time as I’ve just dropped my sister off for major surgery at the hospital today.
I’ve been placing my thoughts all to her well-being, but putting my hand on my heart brought me back to me – straight away 💗🥰 and is allowing me to feel okay about the understandable heightened feelings in my mind and heart today, right now…
many thanks for your kindness and insight and sharing 🙏🏼 ✨💫
with many blessings
Deb
I felt a rush of emotion, such deep sadness I started to cry. Now my chest feels all soft and raw, kind of aching. But I still felt love too. I know this needs practice, loving practice. And it’s better than feeling numb.
I felt a moment of peace and support. Self-compassion is the most powerful gesture next to gratitude I have been practicing and sharing. Thank you for explaining it so clearly.
Feelings of sadness, awareness, for a lifetime of feeling unworthy.
A sense of calm and a relief of tension came over me
I find that self forgiveness way too hard.
I’m aware of thought of letting my 53 yr old daughter down who seems to be having a teauma response to her beloved 95 yr old grandmothers decision to choosing Medical Assistance in dying a few wks ago. I’m feeling griev grieved that she is pushing me away and inadequate not good enough in my not understanding her needs when I believe that I ordinariwould recognize how to flreach out compassionately to help her.
I’ve been working on self acceptance from a faith based perspective. Believing God loves me unconditionally has been a great help. Today as I listened to step 3 I realized if He loves me I can offer myself the same. So when I placed my hand on my heart in the exercise I told myself “ since God loves me, I love me” I repeated that as a mantra and as I breathed in and out I could picture the sea waves washing Love in to me and then taking my love out to others. Thank you for this powerful teaching.
This sounds very good. I think I will give it a try.
For me I felt tranquillity, care and gentleness and also clarity and decisiveness to act on important decisions coming up.
I see this a a valuable exercise with clients to help them to move from a state of self hate and anger – with self and others – into a space of caring, calm and clear, focussed energy.
Self care and compassion to self both are needed for good healing.
easier to see things more neutrally
I felt that there were a lot of things and feelings that were challenging. But I’m going to continue practicing because there’s many many feelings to work through. A whole life’s worth in fact. Well nearly 48 years of it anyway. So it will probably take a long time before I’m feeling better in myself about things and be able to think differently about things in my life and be happier.
I sense the warmth and the hurt. I turn my gaze toward a small tomato plant – and see it needs a shower against parasites. This is also a pattern. Turning the kindness outward. It is a deflection. But I act. Maybe I also count on the return under the umbrella of responsability. I feel the strong urge to act out of joy! I feel this from my first chakra.
I need to love me like I love others. “I am a child of the universe, no less that the trees and the stars I have a right to be here …”
It gave me a glimpse of letting go and resting in the universality of everything. I will benefit so much by practicing this often and hope others do too. Thank you Tara.
I felt the gesture of kindness as an embryonic part of myself. If I practice and not let caring for others before myself, maybe – just maybe there is a road to self-acceptance of all my parts.
Thanks Tara,
I felt the pace towards me.
Thank you, Tara. This simple practice released self-judgement that I was unaware of.
Thanks for this . I found it difficult expressing kindness to myself.
With the meditation I will keep trying.
A feeling of gentleness and softness
Thank you for this. I have had self judgment for years and years, and still I and giving to others except myself. I will use this for myself as well as with others. Thank you so much. I can feel self compassion for my inner self. You are such a kind soul.
Simple, practical, and effective. Thank you
I am realy thankful of getting this teaching which deeply touched me. Thank you Tara. Over years you taught me how to develope from my inner judgements to an inner state of self compassion which results in feeling of being able to love.
Your invitation to send myself a message of care prompted a thought that that is not straightforward – many of us don’t really know what that means. As I had that thought, I felt tearful. Maybe you could include some suggestions of caring messages that we might send ourselves?
Offering a gesture of kindness to myself, it helped to really notice the feeling of my hand on my heart, to stay in that moment a little, and take a couple of deep breaths so that I did not dismiss what I was saying to myself…letting the words move on in.
Thanks for this opportunity Tara.
Whilst I am not qualified, I have been teaching meditation for many years in our Buddhist centre. This straightforward teaching is very helpful. Thank you.
Tenderness towards myself.
I am so sad that i cannot help my daughter or repair our rift because I have a disability that may stem from having my thyroid radiated and killed 37 years ago that seems to have damaged my ability to respond normally, biologically. I think the replacement thyroid hormone cannot act the same way it would if I had a thyroid.
I have tried counseling, meditation, etc and my body and mind just do not seem to compensate for the unnatural system of the intake of hormone once per day, possibly not reaching my tissues (only blood stream)?
It seems that no matter how hard I try to notice my thoughts, accept them and feelings, I don’t progress to responding and not reacting much of the time. And then feeling bad about hurting others by my bad temper.
I am disabled, but almost loosing hope of ever functioning normally (as a person with a thyroid would). Stress and the pandemic has made making changes in my housing (that I want) and improvement difficult.
I look forward to receiving information regarding this topic. I have not been working for the last 19 years I was raising children and had some issues with health. However at this time I’m doing better I completed the task I’m raising the family and I am interested in going back to work.
It was very warm and a wave of love wetted my eyes. Thank you for leading us there, Tara ❤️
Brilliant step by step advice…. Thank you Tara 🙏
A lovely practical gesture to put a tender kind hand on our heart. I work with Tara’s RAIN meditation and use this too. This gesture I can use with clients who are very hard on themselves, lots of self blame and self aversion, so they have some tools. Thank you, great video.
Deeper, slower breathing and an expansiveness. I felt the embrace I was giving myself.
I felt a smile spread throughout my body! Next, I realized that the positive affirmation was really an authentic feeling when compared to the the self critical feelings were based on old and mistaken trauma-related feelings and attitudes about myself!
Feelings of joy
Placing my hand in my heart with kindness and self compassion really got me in touch with myself and made me feel so much better and ready to connect with myself and others.
A sense of calm. Will use the ideas just as they are.
I felt Internally that I was a real person
So mechanical…brain science without soul.
Gave myself love for going with the waves of suffering in the best way I know how. Recognized all we can do is our best with each moment.
Regret
I felt overwhelmed and tears came
Thank you for your videos. They are helping me to become nonjudgemental.
Your suggestions and meditations are easy to follow, I just have to practice.
I said to myself, with my hand on my heart, Judy, you are a good person. My mind immediately countered with but what if you’re not.
You are- we don’t have to believe our thoughts.
sadness and tears
Identifying 3 skills to practice to reduce negative and judgmental thoughts was very helpful. It was very interesting to hear the explanation of the prefrontal lobe and the limbic system.
Tara your work is an act of kindness. thank you for sharing your wisdom.
Thank-you.
I appreciated hearing about the process of paying attention to thoughts, naming your feelings, and showing compassion and kindness to the self with hand over heart. It did feel comforting and I’m sure that it would become more so with regular practice. I have been doing this at times over the past few years. Have watched the radical acceptance workshop too. Grateful for all of this in my life.
I felt calm, almost like when you get a massage.
I start to cry, not uncontrollably but perhaps allowing myself to have sadness/grief/suffering and seeing how sad situation was. I wasn’t raised to show emotions, especially “negative” ones. When there was the first death of a grandparent, I was told not to cry.
Dear Tara, when I put my hand on my heart as you suggested I felt an instant compassion for myself and love for myself and care
I realise that your talk today has come at a perfect time as I’ve just dropped my sister off for major surgery at the hospital today.
I’ve been placing my thoughts all to her well-being, but putting my hand on my heart brought me back to me – straight away 💗🥰 and is allowing me to feel okay about the understandable heightened feelings in my mind and heart today, right now…
many thanks for your kindness and insight and sharing 🙏🏼 ✨💫
with many blessings
Deb
I felt a rush of emotion, such deep sadness I started to cry. Now my chest feels all soft and raw, kind of aching. But I still felt love too. I know this needs practice, loving practice. And it’s better than feeling numb.
I felt a moment of peace and support. Self-compassion is the most powerful gesture next to gratitude I have been practicing and sharing. Thank you for explaining it so clearly.
I feel more relief