A simple straight forward approach is accessible and easy to navigate. I felt an inner calm during the hand over heart experience.
Thanks so much Tara.
Barry 🙏💕
Extreme sadness. About how much I really need that gentle care and tenderness. How I’ve searched for it from others and how my deeply ingrained fear of abandonement prevents me from forming truly intimate, loving, deep relationships with others and finding a partner.
Touching my heart and tuning in to the hurt part is a powerful way to acknowledge and validate the pain.
It’s a strong step towards being compassionate to ourselves. Thanks for the practical application of tuning into ourselves.
Hi Tara. Thank you for your wisdom. Your teachings on self compassion helped me through nightly flashbacks. I listened to your meditations over and over again and cried my heart out until it felt safe to look at my shadows. You changed my life. No more scary flashbacks, just a what is feeling and what can I do about this to help me free this pain. Very empowering. Relationships are better than ever.
It felt very nourishing to be reminded to take a moment to extend myself some lovingkindness. This brought me to a remembering place where I recalled a wish for myself that I have been working with lately, a feeling of “unshakeable friendliness”, first for myself, and then to others. Then, what came up for me is a feeling that I can take this self-compassion, this self-lovingkindness, this “unshakeable friendliness” for myself, and bring this into my day, especially when I start to notice fear or aversion coming up. Such a wonderful exercise!
I find tenderness when telling my inner Child that I am going to be her side along her Journey and that I that I will be here for her and she is does not need to be alone anymore.
I am able to catch my thoughts more often and recognise and label my emotions and utilise being kinder and compassionate to myself. Often when I notice Mara I utilise mums words “your a lovely kind person don’t let anyone make you think any different be strong and brave and go for what you want in life. Dad’s words would be let it be, let it go
I’ve done a fair bit of work in this space over the past 6 months, coming to terms with my dear father’s decline and death. Recognizing my long-unacknowledged grief and fear–living in another country and unable to get home due to the pandemic for months–being with it, and clearly seeing my stuff allowed me to move through. Thankfully I was able to get home in time… The feelings that arise when I do this exercise now are about poignancy and connection. I know it takes work to stay in this space, but thank my dad for the opportunity to learn this for myself.
I felt a warmth in my heart and a smile fill my chest neck and head. my breathing deepened as I do not feel alone in this. knowing so many others are watching these videos and sharing in this practice brings great peace and hope.
I have always been very hard and judgemental towards myself, which means that I have so often been just as judgemental of others. Knowing this has caused me to feel even more judgemental of myself as it is not how I want to be or live. Today as I followed your words and placed my hand on my heart I felt an opening and I said…”your life has been so hard and at times unfair”…and I felt such grief rise within me as if for the first time I was validating myself for the harshness of what I have experienced in life, the many years of abuse that I experienced, and I felt such deep compassion as then other thoughts poured out…”you have done so much good despite your own woundedness and pain…you have worked hard to make a difference for other women…you have given them compassion and love…you deserve the same,” and at that moment I felt as if caring arms suddenly enfolded me and I could just let go and be at peace. Thank you.
As I placed my hand on my heart, the apparent rate of my heartbeat slowed down & became more regular.
As I feel myself becoming frustrated/angry with others or myself I will gently place my hand on my heart & take a few moments to breathe.
By doing this exercise I did notice a shift. I am very hard on myself, and it felt good to step away from that for a moment, and just feel good about who I am.
Cindy Platko, Another Field, Charlotte , NC, USAsays
It felt like I wasn’t being sincere. I doubted myself! I realize I don’t trust others. I need to pause and practice this so I can authentically share this with others!
I experienced a sense of peace and relaxation, and thoughts of self affirmation. Very lovely visualization that I will definitely use with clients who struggle with self doubt.
Old pain, insecurity, insufficiency and self doubt from childhood are ever present. I want to love myself as I am but these feelings of inadequacy constantly get in the way. I never truly realized I could actively THINK these processes as ONLY thoughts and let them go.
Thank you….. I was living in primitive and now top down with empathy and compassion. I learnt to be kind to myself and vulnerable and to let things go and am becoming happier and real with my-self and others. Finally my true self is emerging without the past-attachments of thoughts and old feelings.
this was more difficult than in previous times i have tried compassion to self.
i may have stumbled upon a very deep pre- consciousness wound.
i felt a huge wave of despair and a booming voice saying ’you are the worse baby ever’.
I am using self soothing techniques and I actually got to an angry moment.
once I recognized that it was ANGER , a lot of feelings came together.
my deepest resentments and hurt.
I am so tired of trying to FIX myself because of historical trauma in our female line.
so much abuse that was passed down.
maybe now that the world is somewhat released from such horrible restrictions, we can get actual therapy again. one on one.
i think it’s time to do the Palouse 8 week meditation again.
meditation is so triggering at times that I actually have to be in a non-triggered state to even attempt. otherwise I get so wired that it makes me feel incredible Anxiety and more self loathing.
unsure why. IS IT A SELF SABOTAGING THING?????
thank you for your 40 years of experience and knowledge.
I thought about someone who was tutoring me web development, who is half my age (I don’t mean to be ageist here). They were helping me as best they knew how and with real compassion. I have been teaching for many years and was trying to teach them how to teach more effectively, I so, so wanted to give them that gift, but they couldn’t appreciate possibility in me, This led to friction and they unfriended me and took over four months of collaboration with them. I remember writing the message I wrote that finally ruined everything. I felt so heavy and uncomfortable as I read it before hitting the send button and for days afterwards. It didn’t come as a surprise when I returned to our message app to see they were gone. If only I had listened to my whole body telling me so clearly that the tone I wrote in was not the me that I really was in that whole collaboration, and also not the me that I was when I actually wrote the text – everything was out of balance. Why did I do it? Just so I could lash out because I felt they didn’t want to appreciate me, when the case was it was obvious they did, because they were there. It was a case of ‘appreciate me on my terms’. That brings me so much sadness for me, because I let myself down, and for them, because they had shown me such kindness.
How quickly I could be there for myself with support and kindness if only I listen more and deeply.. i have a hard time with doing this regularly
I am lazy!
Tenderness arises with the gesture of kindness. Directly practicing these tools with clients continues to be powerful. Thank you Tara for these practices.
Lovely summary of the main thrust of mindfulness practice – keeps me on the path ‘repeating’ a hundred or a thousand or a million times – whatever it takes – thank you
Thank you for the beautiful and clear description of the ways that these three core practices can help us move from “flight, fight, freeze” in our nervous systems to “tend and befriend”. The gesture of kindness is an incredibly powerful tool which I have personally been utilizing and feeling the great benefit of. I am interested in the intersection between polyvagal theory and mindfulness in healing trauma. Feeling loved and cared for by our own selves is a powerful step towards healing. Experimenting and finding a gesture of kindness/phrasing which works for each individual is key to implementing this as a practice.
Thanks for the inspirational teachings Tara!
Sorry, a tech comment. I so ehow lost the meditation when it came. I don’t know where it went. Could it be s3nt again? By email?
I felt a sense of calm when attempting to accept my ‘unworthiness” feelings.
A genuine feeling of warmth and ease arose towards myself.
My heart moved toward my hand. It felt warm and soothing.
A simple straight forward approach is accessible and easy to navigate. I felt an inner calm during the hand over heart experience.
Thanks so much Tara.
Barry 🙏💕
Extreme sadness. About how much I really need that gentle care and tenderness. How I’ve searched for it from others and how my deeply ingrained fear of abandonement prevents me from forming truly intimate, loving, deep relationships with others and finding a partner.
Touching my heart and tuning in to the hurt part is a powerful way to acknowledge and validate the pain.
It’s a strong step towards being compassionate to ourselves. Thanks for the practical application of tuning into ourselves.
I felt a wave of warmth and calmness. I was able to take a real, deep breath.
Hi Tara. Thank you for your wisdom. Your teachings on self compassion helped me through nightly flashbacks. I listened to your meditations over and over again and cried my heart out until it felt safe to look at my shadows. You changed my life. No more scary flashbacks, just a what is feeling and what can I do about this to help me free this pain. Very empowering. Relationships are better than ever.
It felt very nourishing to be reminded to take a moment to extend myself some lovingkindness. This brought me to a remembering place where I recalled a wish for myself that I have been working with lately, a feeling of “unshakeable friendliness”, first for myself, and then to others. Then, what came up for me is a feeling that I can take this self-compassion, this self-lovingkindness, this “unshakeable friendliness” for myself, and bring this into my day, especially when I start to notice fear or aversion coming up. Such a wonderful exercise!
I find tenderness when telling my inner Child that I am going to be her side along her Journey and that I that I will be here for her and she is does not need to be alone anymore.
Once again, Tara resonates with a deep truth
I am able to catch my thoughts more often and recognise and label my emotions and utilise being kinder and compassionate to myself. Often when I notice Mara I utilise mums words “your a lovely kind person don’t let anyone make you think any different be strong and brave and go for what you want in life. Dad’s words would be let it be, let it go
I’ve done a fair bit of work in this space over the past 6 months, coming to terms with my dear father’s decline and death. Recognizing my long-unacknowledged grief and fear–living in another country and unable to get home due to the pandemic for months–being with it, and clearly seeing my stuff allowed me to move through. Thankfully I was able to get home in time… The feelings that arise when I do this exercise now are about poignancy and connection. I know it takes work to stay in this space, but thank my dad for the opportunity to learn this for myself.
I felt a warmth in my heart and a smile fill my chest neck and head. my breathing deepened as I do not feel alone in this. knowing so many others are watching these videos and sharing in this practice brings great peace and hope.
I have always been very hard and judgemental towards myself, which means that I have so often been just as judgemental of others. Knowing this has caused me to feel even more judgemental of myself as it is not how I want to be or live. Today as I followed your words and placed my hand on my heart I felt an opening and I said…”your life has been so hard and at times unfair”…and I felt such grief rise within me as if for the first time I was validating myself for the harshness of what I have experienced in life, the many years of abuse that I experienced, and I felt such deep compassion as then other thoughts poured out…”you have done so much good despite your own woundedness and pain…you have worked hard to make a difference for other women…you have given them compassion and love…you deserve the same,” and at that moment I felt as if caring arms suddenly enfolded me and I could just let go and be at peace. Thank you.
I found myself smiling 🙂
It takes a lot of practice – that is what I want to share more.
Thank you so much for your great work!!!!
I did feel a shift in my perception of myself when I did this exercise. It felt nice to speak kindly to myself.
As I placed my hand on my heart, the apparent rate of my heartbeat slowed down & became more regular.
As I feel myself becoming frustrated/angry with others or myself I will gently place my hand on my heart & take a few moments to breathe.
By doing this exercise I did notice a shift. I am very hard on myself, and it felt good to step away from that for a moment, and just feel good about who I am.
It felt like I wasn’t being sincere. I doubted myself! I realize I don’t trust others. I need to pause and practice this so I can authentically share this with others!
These videos are a true gift, for both myself and my clients. Thank-you.
Looking for information.
Thank you!
Feelings of compassion, love and support!
I experienced a sense of peace and relaxation, and thoughts of self affirmation. Very lovely visualization that I will definitely use with clients who struggle with self doubt.
Calm, relaxation and warmth. Understanding.
It’s what we can do for ourselves that will inevitably help all the love ones around us. My hint is to slow down.
I felt a warmth, a softening, and a little love. So simple and yet very affective. Thank you!
I noticed my breath slow and deepen. I felt comforted by my words to myself. I am trying my best. I will be okay
Thanks. This is interesting and helpful.
Old pain, insecurity, insufficiency and self doubt from childhood are ever present. I want to love myself as I am but these feelings of inadequacy constantly get in the way. I never truly realized I could actively THINK these processes as ONLY thoughts and let them go.
With a mindful of awareness, with heartfelt gratitude…. Hugs 🙂
Thank you….. I was living in primitive and now top down with empathy and compassion. I learnt to be kind to myself and vulnerable and to let things go and am becoming happier and real with my-self and others. Finally my true self is emerging without the past-attachments of thoughts and old feelings.
Calmer, resting, loved
this was more difficult than in previous times i have tried compassion to self.
i may have stumbled upon a very deep pre- consciousness wound.
i felt a huge wave of despair and a booming voice saying ’you are the worse baby ever’.
I am using self soothing techniques and I actually got to an angry moment.
once I recognized that it was ANGER , a lot of feelings came together.
my deepest resentments and hurt.
I am so tired of trying to FIX myself because of historical trauma in our female line.
so much abuse that was passed down.
maybe now that the world is somewhat released from such horrible restrictions, we can get actual therapy again. one on one.
i think it’s time to do the Palouse 8 week meditation again.
meditation is so triggering at times that I actually have to be in a non-triggered state to even attempt. otherwise I get so wired that it makes me feel incredible Anxiety and more self loathing.
unsure why. IS IT A SELF SABOTAGING THING?????
thank you for your 40 years of experience and knowledge.
I thought about someone who was tutoring me web development, who is half my age (I don’t mean to be ageist here). They were helping me as best they knew how and with real compassion. I have been teaching for many years and was trying to teach them how to teach more effectively, I so, so wanted to give them that gift, but they couldn’t appreciate possibility in me, This led to friction and they unfriended me and took over four months of collaboration with them. I remember writing the message I wrote that finally ruined everything. I felt so heavy and uncomfortable as I read it before hitting the send button and for days afterwards. It didn’t come as a surprise when I returned to our message app to see they were gone. If only I had listened to my whole body telling me so clearly that the tone I wrote in was not the me that I really was in that whole collaboration, and also not the me that I was when I actually wrote the text – everything was out of balance. Why did I do it? Just so I could lash out because I felt they didn’t want to appreciate me, when the case was it was obvious they did, because they were there. It was a case of ‘appreciate me on my terms’. That brings me so much sadness for me, because I let myself down, and for them, because they had shown me such kindness.
I realized that it has been quite some time since I have felt safe emotionally.
How quickly I could be there for myself with support and kindness if only I listen more and deeply.. i have a hard time with doing this regularly
I am lazy!
Forgiveness, relief, sanctuary; by asking them the same question you have asked, and allowing discussion and reflection. 🙏🏼 Thank you.
Wonderful
Tenderness arises with the gesture of kindness. Directly practicing these tools with clients continues to be powerful. Thank you Tara for these practices.
Yes
Hand on heart felt like a connection that I so often overlook in my busyness
Thank you ❤️
Lovely summary of the main thrust of mindfulness practice – keeps me on the path ‘repeating’ a hundred or a thousand or a million times – whatever it takes – thank you
After sending loving kindness into my heart i felt my body untense slightly.
Thank you for the beautiful and clear description of the ways that these three core practices can help us move from “flight, fight, freeze” in our nervous systems to “tend and befriend”. The gesture of kindness is an incredibly powerful tool which I have personally been utilizing and feeling the great benefit of. I am interested in the intersection between polyvagal theory and mindfulness in healing trauma. Feeling loved and cared for by our own selves is a powerful step towards healing. Experimenting and finding a gesture of kindness/phrasing which works for each individual is key to implementing this as a practice.
Thanks for the inspirational teachings Tara!
Self-compassion is very powerful. SoMe of my clients initially struggle with this word, but then find it so helpful.
Listening to Tara’s podcasts have been tremendously transforming in helping me accept and live fully through life’s inevitable stress and loss.
Awesomely beautiful
Made the gesture. Felt a real sense of kindness and appreciation which converted instantly to compassion for others thankyou.
I felt warm and calm.