Thank you. Your lecture helps me to see parts of myself that are unsafe and negatively impact others. My lack of emotional safety, creates a view that causes me to see others in some situations as- unsafe. This awareness, when seen through a lense of self compassion and understanding, softens my personal judgement, reactivity and pain. This invites, in me healthy, supported, and hope filled accountability, rather than defensiveness and protectiveness. As I offer understanding awareness to myself, I am better able to see the other person and their lack of emotional safety with me in those times. I am eager to learn more.
I can’t give what I don’t possess. Allowing self to receive genuine kindness and forgiveness will allow that resource inside me to multiply, and displace the judgement and anger, so instead of only sharing “judgement and condemnation that currently lives inside me”, I can share “kindness and forgiveness which are now inside me”. My relationships will change with this new behaviour and attitude.
I love Tara Brach, and felt my first shift out of my trance of overwhelming fear as a 30 yo when I listened to her book “Radical Self Acceptance”
I must have listened to it twenty or thirty times! And I still remember her calm lilting voice teaching me the tone I should be taking with myself! Thank you for inspiring me for a lifetime, and I’m so grateful you still shine your light for others!
Seeing my suffering and self-blame through the eyes of a loving friend and hearing that voice say “It’s not your fault”…I feel an extraordinary shift. It’s a start of course, but even that tiny tenderness is incredibly powerful. And linking this work with brain science really deepens it for me. Thank you Tara!
It’s so easy to forget or not even realize how we relate to ourselves affects those that are most precious to us. Thank you for spreading these essential messages that help us create the lives we want!
I have been trying to work on this for two years and this just week, I finally am feeling somatically, deeply the difference of feeling calm and ease and acceptance verus judgement. 56 years of conditioning and rumination on negative tapes is hard to rewire.
I can see now that my deep, inner belief that I was bad, unworthy and not good enough was being projected onto others – it was easier to fight, run away from or freeze from others than look within. I see now how so much of my suffering is due to my insecurities and beliefs of myself, and not what others believe
Thanks for these videos. My husband and I have been through a terrible time in our marriage. He did some bad stuff as a result of an addiction. His behavior affected me profoundly and still hurts. I have not exactly been my best self in response and I often find myself in a whirlpool of emotional turmoil of hating his behaviors and also hating my responses. I know in my heart that any hope of accepting him requires me accepting myself. I appreciate your videos more than I can say.
self forgiveness releases me from the strangle hold of shame and self loathing. it lets me see myself as my beloved sees me. there is imperfection but it is not a blight just a characteristic that changes as I embrace or accept loving kindness. when I withhold forgiveness, from self, I disconnect from the love of others and cease to see the richness in and around me.
I struggle to to forgive myself for my perfectionism. I come from a long lineage of women that demanded perfection from themselves; in their bodies, faces, what they wore, what they said and how they kept their homes and even how they tried to perfect the way they were as mothers and wives. I’ve lived my whole life like this and as I look beneath the layers of my insecurities and not being enough, not being the mother that I wish I could’ve been because I was too busy trying to be perfect… Forgiveness sometimes feels so far away
Thank you for this message. I have several situations that I struggle to forgive myself – things I’ve said that have caused pain or frustration for others, affecting our relationship and trust. I didn’t intend to cause harm, at least not consciously. I believe in God/Jesus and I believe They want me to forgive myself … but I feel like I keep making the same mistakes… leading me to find it hard to forgive myself. I do feel like it is not my fault in some situations and I hope this will move me forward to self forgiveness.
When I held myself in self-compassion instead of guilt (in relation to my partner) I realized I was less intent on fighting or fleeing, less willing to defend myself. Thank you for the videos, I look forward to the handout!
I think it would unconsciously enable me to be present in the relationship, more free (or conscious) of possible expectations and judgments. I could be more relaxed and open to the joy of connection.
This gave me hope that I can learn to forgive the thing I did that I view as “unforgivable”. I also found part 2 tend and befriend revolutionary and gave me hope beyond fight flight freeze. Thank you
Acknowledgement of grief, loss, and it being really hard was a really valuable tool and insight for me as so much of our society wants to be dismissive or avoidant of what is hard or hurts. There is a tremendous discomfort with pain and different generations have had very different approaches to trauma and acknowledgement.
i can let my mum be herself; with her pain and on her journey. no longer judge it and realise that i can tend to and love myself and perhaps be less guarded that others wont be there for me
Thinking about how it is not my fault is very powerful!! I wonder how our lives could be so different if there was more self-compassion. Thank you so much for your work and words!!
It would offer them the capacity to be more open, less judgemental and provide a gateway to intimacy. Through the intimacy they may then build more stability in relationships and trust, communicate authentically and not be afraid to ask for what they need and perhaps be less affected by other peoples responses.
Really helpful for my work and myself 🙂 – thank you.
Developing self compassion through remembering how kind person in my life would react in the situation when I feel shame and telling myself what that kind person would tell me.
When I forgive myself I am no longer playing the victim! I am able to move through my anger and allow the grieving process to take place. It’s a healthier place to be.
Thank you. Your lecture helps me to see parts of myself that are unsafe and negatively impact others. My lack of emotional safety, creates a view that causes me to see others in some situations as- unsafe. This awareness, when seen through a lense of self compassion and understanding, softens my personal judgement, reactivity and pain. This invites, in me healthy, supported, and hope filled accountability, rather than defensiveness and protectiveness. As I offer understanding awareness to myself, I am better able to see the other person and their lack of emotional safety with me in those times. I am eager to learn more.
I can’t give what I don’t possess. Allowing self to receive genuine kindness and forgiveness will allow that resource inside me to multiply, and displace the judgement and anger, so instead of only sharing “judgement and condemnation that currently lives inside me”, I can share “kindness and forgiveness which are now inside me”. My relationships will change with this new behaviour and attitude.
Thank you
lovely teachings, Tara.
loved this exercise…I could feel a shift even the first time I did it🙏Thank you for the worthy work that you do.
Felt relief and lighter. I feel I can also give compassion to others to that I relate.
I really cannot imagine forgiving myself… Guess I have a lot of work to do.
If they change their relationship with themselves then they can do it with others
more connection — videos were wonderful — this is the third time I’ve listened to them three times and just signed up for the full program. Thank you!
I love Tara Brach, and felt my first shift out of my trance of overwhelming fear as a 30 yo when I listened to her book “Radical Self Acceptance”
I must have listened to it twenty or thirty times! And I still remember her calm lilting voice teaching me the tone I should be taking with myself! Thank you for inspiring me for a lifetime, and I’m so grateful you still shine your light for others!
Forgiving our own transgressions is just as essential as forgiving others.
Seeing my suffering and self-blame through the eyes of a loving friend and hearing that voice say “It’s not your fault”…I feel an extraordinary shift. It’s a start of course, but even that tiny tenderness is incredibly powerful. And linking this work with brain science really deepens it for me. Thank you Tara!
Wonderful, helpful. Thank you
It’s so easy to forget or not even realize how we relate to ourselves affects those that are most precious to us. Thank you for spreading these essential messages that help us create the lives we want!
Very freeing to see the whole picture and self forgive. Thank you
I’ve been learning how to accept the feelings of guilt and remorse, but moving to forgiveness is a new idea. It geels awkward right now.
I have been trying to work on this for two years and this just week, I finally am feeling somatically, deeply the difference of feeling calm and ease and acceptance verus judgement. 56 years of conditioning and rumination on negative tapes is hard to rewire.
Thank you Tara-this has been an eye opening experience
I can see now that my deep, inner belief that I was bad, unworthy and not good enough was being projected onto others – it was easier to fight, run away from or freeze from others than look within. I see now how so much of my suffering is due to my insecurities and beliefs of myself, and not what others believe
Thanks for these videos. My husband and I have been through a terrible time in our marriage. He did some bad stuff as a result of an addiction. His behavior affected me profoundly and still hurts. I have not exactly been my best self in response and I often find myself in a whirlpool of emotional turmoil of hating his behaviors and also hating my responses. I know in my heart that any hope of accepting him requires me accepting myself. I appreciate your videos more than I can say.
self forgiveness releases me from the strangle hold of shame and self loathing. it lets me see myself as my beloved sees me. there is imperfection but it is not a blight just a characteristic that changes as I embrace or accept loving kindness. when I withhold forgiveness, from self, I disconnect from the love of others and cease to see the richness in and around me.
I struggle to to forgive myself for my perfectionism. I come from a long lineage of women that demanded perfection from themselves; in their bodies, faces, what they wore, what they said and how they kept their homes and even how they tried to perfect the way they were as mothers and wives. I’ve lived my whole life like this and as I look beneath the layers of my insecurities and not being enough, not being the mother that I wish I could’ve been because I was too busy trying to be perfect… Forgiveness sometimes feels so far away
I appreciate the concepts presented.
Thank you for this message. I have several situations that I struggle to forgive myself – things I’ve said that have caused pain or frustration for others, affecting our relationship and trust. I didn’t intend to cause harm, at least not consciously. I believe in God/Jesus and I believe They want me to forgive myself … but I feel like I keep making the same mistakes… leading me to find it hard to forgive myself. I do feel like it is not my fault in some situations and I hope this will move me forward to self forgiveness.
When I held myself in self-compassion instead of guilt (in relation to my partner) I realized I was less intent on fighting or fleeing, less willing to defend myself. Thank you for the videos, I look forward to the handout!
Have so many people I feel that I have mistreated so have much work to do.
I think it would unconsciously enable me to be present in the relationship, more free (or conscious) of possible expectations and judgments. I could be more relaxed and open to the joy of connection.
I forgive myself for things done in my relationships over the years.
Wonderful topic, thank you for sharing. Self-forgiveness and offering myself compassion strengthened my connection with my own heart.
Excellent topic Dr. Brach and well articulated.
This gave me hope that I can learn to forgive the thing I did that I view as “unforgivable”. I also found part 2 tend and befriend revolutionary and gave me hope beyond fight flight freeze. Thank you
Acknowledgement of grief, loss, and it being really hard was a really valuable tool and insight for me as so much of our society wants to be dismissive or avoidant of what is hard or hurts. There is a tremendous discomfort with pain and different generations have had very different approaches to trauma and acknowledgement.
Excellent techniques to use in my personal life and with my clients! Thank you
This was a very good reminder of how to forgive yourself by seeing it through the eyes of another and move through this gently
i can let my mum be herself; with her pain and on her journey. no longer judge it and realise that i can tend to and love myself and perhaps be less guarded that others wont be there for me
Thinking about how it is not my fault is very powerful!! I wonder how our lives could be so different if there was more self-compassion. Thank you so much for your work and words!!
It would offer them the capacity to be more open, less judgemental and provide a gateway to intimacy. Through the intimacy they may then build more stability in relationships and trust, communicate authentically and not be afraid to ask for what they need and perhaps be less affected by other peoples responses.
Really helpful for my work and myself 🙂 – thank you.
Developing self compassion through remembering how kind person in my life would react in the situation when I feel shame and telling myself what that kind person would tell me.
It provided a softening within myself.
Thank you
When I forgive myself I am no longer playing the victim! I am able to move through my anger and allow the grieving process to take place. It’s a healthier place to be.