This can help my clients accept and love themselves as imperfect humans. It helps them to let go of shame, and heal themselves and their relationships. It is something that I also practice in conjunction with the loving-kindness meditation, for any situation where I feel some guilt or shame.
I really liked the question: “Does your self-hatred help you act differently?”
Thank you!
Genuinely forgiving myself would help my relationships be deeper and more connected because my capacity to forgive all transgressions not just by me but against me as well. After all we are imperfect humans and we all need occasional forgiveness. By being freer from guilt my capacity to love and forgive is also expanded.
I feel your care and understanding, your true love and belief in humanity. I feel cared for and seen by you, Tara. You make me feel i matter. Thank you for all your work.
Oh my goodness!! after nearly 60 years of life believing that everything was my fault and to even consider that it’s not? When I stop crying I may let you know how I go!
These three videos have actually helped me see how pervasive feelings that I am not enough are. For me healing feels like a dance, sometimes I can move more freely and other times I trip.
I can see that it would change things totally but I also can’t imagine how it would be that I could forgive myself. Hasn’t ever happened in 77 years though I’ve tried.
If it is not my fault then whose fault is it. I need to heal my relationship with my daughter. I judge her for her drinking habit which I find very distressing.
I am guessing that feeling genuine forgiveness and compassion toward oneself (myself) would just soften the (my) relationship with difficult people or challenging people, regardless of how they change or do not change. I think for me it would take the edge off when I’m being accused of not being skilled enough, or of letting others down. Not to disregard the criticism, but I think it would soften the blow.
Hazel Van Evera, Exercise Physiology, Sacremento, CA, USAsays
I’ve studied many modalities for healing myself from past wounds but none have been as helpful as IFS Therapy (Internal Family Systems). It’s helped me to understand that a very young part of me is still living in the past as a protector part that had her roots in a trauma response. That part is still living and acting from a place of fear 60 years later! When I allow my current self to see those responses as a 4 year old protective part, I feel compassion for her, then I feel compassion for my partner and others, and I can let go of blame, shame and judgement. My Self (current Authentic Self) can put up healthy boundaries and act authentically, with loving kindness and loving care with no blame and judgement for those I connect with. I can appreciate that little part that wanted nothing but to protect me from suffering. Then I can get to forgiveness. Thank you for your clarity, Tara♥️
How do forgive another for their refusal to face their own demons? My struggle is to hold on to my own self worth as my partner refuses to look at himself.
If you never know forgiveness
you never know the blessings
that God gives
(Rumi)
I will forgive, over and over again, to be blessed over and over again, no matter what. openheartedly I start fresh, start anew, and continue my intimate relationship with my life over aging.
Forgiveness liberats our heart, and the heart of our clients. Knowing how to skillfully be kind, mindful, and self-compassionate is the doorway to radical forgiveness.
Living with a sense of peace and forgiveness for themselves will lead to empathy and patience in their relationships with others, for the mistakes others make and for the mistakes the clients will make.
It gives me an instant feeling of relief, tension disolving and also as if “my horizon would widen”. The latter probably an outcome of softening of my facial / eye muscles which tried to push me back into “tunnel view” when thinking of that situation / relationsship.
So, of course I wish for my clients to have the same experience again and again, so that they will be able (again) to see a variety of possible so(u)lutions they weren’t able to grasp before – out of defensiveness and fight / flight / freeze. 🧡🙏
If you walk in self forgiveness, you will be presenting yourself as a gentler, calmer person to those around you. It seems that self forgiveness would also create a more compassionate heart.
In my relationship with my mother i often feel impatient with her become angry in my motions towards her and my tone of voice. I feel guilty and like such a failure as a loving daughter. She is 93 and I am 68 and neither of us are getting any younger and I want to Be with her in a more loving caring way. I am ashamed and distance myself from her physically and emotionally because I hate my behavior but can’t seem to control it. I am working on some resentments i have towards her but it seems so slow and Im discouraged. Thanks for all you do Tara! Kat
I think that I have made my partner feel inadequate because of my own feelings of inadequacy. I’ve made her feel shame and guilt and fear because of my own feelings of shame and guilt and fear. I’ve found that forgiving myself has led to healing, so I now I set the intention to forgive myself for this too… to try to heal my relationship as well.
I feel guilty about the judgement I’ve placed on my partner about their parenting. It triggers me and my childhood wounds. I’ll try to forgive myself for these reactions and recognize them as a place for healing 🙏
Thank you very Inspiration talk & lots in there for me to look at
💛💙🙏
All I can think of is that Tara needs to talk to Will Smith this week.
Thanks – this is a wonderful refresher of mindful self compassion for me as a MSC teacher
So powerful thank you
This can help my clients accept and love themselves as imperfect humans. It helps them to let go of shame, and heal themselves and their relationships. It is something that I also practice in conjunction with the loving-kindness meditation, for any situation where I feel some guilt or shame.
I really liked the question: “Does your self-hatred help you act differently?”
Thank you!
Genuinely forgiving myself would help my relationships be deeper and more connected because my capacity to forgive all transgressions not just by me but against me as well. After all we are imperfect humans and we all need occasional forgiveness. By being freer from guilt my capacity to love and forgive is also expanded.
My heart sank when there was talk about practicing things hundreds of times, because I really struggle to practice things
I feel your care and understanding, your true love and belief in humanity. I feel cared for and seen by you, Tara. You make me feel i matter. Thank you for all your work.
Self-forgiveness will let me have more peace in my relationship with another.
Oh my goodness!! after nearly 60 years of life believing that everything was my fault and to even consider that it’s not? When I stop crying I may let you know how I go!
Thank you for sharing this information.
Thank you this was lovely
Thank you this was lovely
These three videos have actually helped me see how pervasive feelings that I am not enough are. For me healing feels like a dance, sometimes I can move more freely and other times I trip.
Thank you!
Thank you
Thank you
If I can forgive others easily, then I need to learn to have the same compassion to forgive myself.
I can see that it would change things totally but I also can’t imagine how it would be that I could forgive myself. Hasn’t ever happened in 77 years though I’ve tried.
for that exercise, it could be hard to even imaging forgiving oneself. therefore difficult to imagine how one would act differently in relationships …
Thank you 🙏
Thank you
Thank you, that was very helpful. I’m looking forward to receiving the exercise Sam did and more information about joining your program.
Thank you,
Ann-Marie
Forgiving yourself is so important to create healing of self and then partner/family, but it’s important that you don’t excuse bad behaviour!
If it is not my fault then whose fault is it. I need to heal my relationship with my daughter. I judge her for her drinking habit which I find very distressing.
I am guessing that feeling genuine forgiveness and compassion toward oneself (myself) would just soften the (my) relationship with difficult people or challenging people, regardless of how they change or do not change. I think for me it would take the edge off when I’m being accused of not being skilled enough, or of letting others down. Not to disregard the criticism, but I think it would soften the blow.
Forgiveness of self opens the door to self acceptance and a more peaceful heart. Thank you Tara.
Abundant Blessings and Love 💜
Thank You. It’s experience of calm and peace for me. I belive I can do this often.
Thank you Tara so very much.
Love & blessings
When I allow myself to forgive myself I say it’s understandable, why you get so angry, you’ve been so hurt, it’s okay. And space is made…
I’ve studied many modalities for healing myself from past wounds but none have been as helpful as IFS Therapy (Internal Family Systems). It’s helped me to understand that a very young part of me is still living in the past as a protector part that had her roots in a trauma response. That part is still living and acting from a place of fear 60 years later! When I allow my current self to see those responses as a 4 year old protective part, I feel compassion for her, then I feel compassion for my partner and others, and I can let go of blame, shame and judgement. My Self (current Authentic Self) can put up healthy boundaries and act authentically, with loving kindness and loving care with no blame and judgement for those I connect with. I can appreciate that little part that wanted nothing but to protect me from suffering. Then I can get to forgiveness. Thank you for your clarity, Tara♥️
Any of the self compassion practices I have tried do work for me
It’s taken me a very long time to realize how critical I am of myself. I love learning to embrace gentle compassion & acceptance. Thank you!
What about holding on to myself while my partner refuses to do his work? I’m too old to simply pack up and leave – finances. 🤔
I realise that I feel inferior to my husbands family at a deep level and that makes me feel so many interactions are a slight against me
As I held my hand on my heart I imagined the small child, the adolescent and the young adult who always felt second rate.
How do forgive another for their refusal to face their own demons? My struggle is to hold on to my own self worth as my partner refuses to look at himself.
If you never know forgiveness
you never know the blessings
that God gives
(Rumi)
I will forgive, over and over again, to be blessed over and over again, no matter what. openheartedly I start fresh, start anew, and continue my intimate relationship with my life over aging.
Forgiveness liberats our heart, and the heart of our clients. Knowing how to skillfully be kind, mindful, and self-compassionate is the doorway to radical forgiveness.
Powerful questions that allow me to see that my negativity towards myself are only punishing me and not helping me at all.
I found very helpful.
compassion helps to me to put myself in the circle of care and not to feel selfish.
Living with a sense of peace and forgiveness for themselves will lead to empathy and patience in their relationships with others, for the mistakes others make and for the mistakes the clients will make.
It gives me an instant feeling of relief, tension disolving and also as if “my horizon would widen”. The latter probably an outcome of softening of my facial / eye muscles which tried to push me back into “tunnel view” when thinking of that situation / relationsship.
So, of course I wish for my clients to have the same experience again and again, so that they will be able (again) to see a variety of possible so(u)lutions they weren’t able to grasp before – out of defensiveness and fight / flight / freeze. 🧡🙏
If you walk in self forgiveness, you will be presenting yourself as a gentler, calmer person to those around you. It seems that self forgiveness would also create a more compassionate heart.
Or acting the self kindness gesture affirmed for me how much that I have grown.
In my relationship with my mother i often feel impatient with her become angry in my motions towards her and my tone of voice. I feel guilty and like such a failure as a loving daughter. She is 93 and I am 68 and neither of us are getting any younger and I want to Be with her in a more loving caring way. I am ashamed and distance myself from her physically and emotionally because I hate my behavior but can’t seem to control it. I am working on some resentments i have towards her but it seems so slow and Im discouraged. Thanks for all you do Tara! Kat
The Pain lessons somewhat.
thank you for your wisdom and compassion for all suffering martha bush
Helpful practice.
Perhaps by being less judgmental
I am living a life of self-blame. Thank you for sharing your teachings and meditations with the world.
I think that I have made my partner feel inadequate because of my own feelings of inadequacy. I’ve made her feel shame and guilt and fear because of my own feelings of shame and guilt and fear. I’ve found that forgiving myself has led to healing, so I now I set the intention to forgive myself for this too… to try to heal my relationship as well.
I feel guilty about the judgement I’ve placed on my partner about their parenting. It triggers me and my childhood wounds. I’ll try to forgive myself for these reactions and recognize them as a place for healing 🙏