Remembering that the emotion of fear is more a collection of neurochemicals triggered by the brain’s tendency to ruminate obsessively on the negative events in one’s past life, even if those events were long ago and the ruminating is mostly unconscious. To be present to now and felt sensations, vegus nerve breathing, helps to calm my overemotional brain, extending loving kindness to my self.
Something that recently helped me deal with a fear of inadequacy I carry with me in relation to my professional life was a writing activity. There is a name for it that I don’t remember but it is writing three pages of stream of consciousness without stopping. A lot of fear based self criticism came out. Acknowledging those fears and putting them on paper helped to release them from swirling in my head. It also released the tension of trying to deny them. I was able to go into an interview without those feelings being front and center. I am happy to say I have been offered the position.
Thanks Tara. I have a few clients with chronic anxiety. A fear of being triggered, a fear of rejection, a fear of the thought that he or she is not good enough. They do well while in therapy. They can counter what we have worked on when on own. However, new fears creep in and they struggle to use the learned strategies with the new fear. I recently used Guided meditation in session with a client, but it did not work outside of session. I plan to record my own for them to use…my voice. Interested in learning more.
Such a helpful video this AM. Speaking with a client today who has struggled with chronic fear for many years. Your presentation provided me with a new way of approaching fear with her.
Thanks much
Having a non judgmental support person to validate their fears, and support them in problem solving options, in order to move on from their frozen state.
I meet many young people that worry about their own reactions, often fear, anger or anxiety. I also meet parents that worry about their childs behaviour and reactions.
I try to help them cope with their fears by reassuring them that what is happening is not dangerous and that the feeling will pass. I might suggest some calming tecniques, like a “butterflyhug” or mindful breathing.
Walking in the woods. Taking nature pics with my iphone as I notice the little things that run the world(learned this from reading science/biology author E.O. Wilson). Brain huddle anatomy/practice from Dr Jill Bolte Taylor also beneficial to realize how to unite my biological being with awareness and Presence.
Thank you Tara. I think identifying the fear in the body and accepting, breathing, listening to both, body and mind are essential for working with fear. Still, I have a client where all of this works well with me around but when she is alone all the resources seem to get lost in dissoziation. So next session we start again, it seems to take a lot of time for here to trust, as if there is this fear of giving up the fear pattern, existentiell and deep. Increasing and deepening the fear seems to be a better solution to her than trusting anything else if she is alone. She is on SSRI for years now (not from me), increase of panic and heartrace trigger the fear pattern in her body and sometimes I begin to wonder if both work together: the medication and the trust in her body. My regulated nervous system seems to regulate hers, patience and mindfullness make her trust. But if we address her fearless heart we have to be very careful. One question coming up lately is for me: what if ths fear serves a whole (family) System and does not want to release (heal)? Which approach is possible in bigger pictures and systems like now?
For me recognising the felt sensations in my body and naming them ( ie clenched fists, tight throat, thumping heart etc) , then trying to soften all physical tightening and clenching focussing on grounding myself by noticing my feet on the floor and naming objects around me & then mindful breathing for a while letting go with each exhalation. This helps me to create some space & then i can tell myself i am safe now & it’s okay . Soothing and calming myself with my inner voice as if i were comforting a frightened child.
Yes. This works so well. Clients often respond well to a calming voice. I just thought about helping them accept their own voice as calming. To trust their own judgement and inner voice.
For myself, a 71 year old psychodynamic psychotherapist, qualified 12 years ago, I had muted but not calmed my constant hum of anxiety. EXCEPT in sessions where the intensity of listening both to my patient and to myself with no judgment stills the tension, I have a constant humming internal wire of anxiety. Listening to another person’s expression of fear; working to understand its sources and helping them to allow it calms both me and them. My own fear lies in the fear of not being good enough, of failing someone else’s expectations, and an ancient belief that I can make no reparation. When this overwhelms me, I take a step back and ask myself as patient “I wonder why that is happening?” For my patients I have helped them to internalise that neutral question. It reframes the agressive anxious voice, and changes the perspective.
Thank you Tara. I face my fear by letting go and making room for courage. I remind myself that courage is one of my core values and mentally turn to face and accept the thing I fear. It’s always a fear of what others think of me. This used to rule my life but gradually as I embrace courage it is slipping away. It will never be completely gone but I accept this too.
I can breathe just as u say. I can allow it to be there and hold it like a child thats scared. Everything is ok in this moment, you are safe and loved. I am here for you. Im sorry you had no one to turn to as a little one im here now and I love you! ♥️
knowing that the threat may be transient
that the fear may be based on childhood experiences and not current ones
face fear by recognising triggers
recognising f the fear is real or imagined
helps cbt
creating new neural pathwasys
mindfulness, positive afirmations, practicing/imagining situation in a positive way or outcome
feeling where the fear is in the body
breathing and giving the fear a listening ‘ear’
guided meditation for positive energy / to stop overthinking/ relaxation
Many thanks
De “day care centre for fear” method where people can leave their fear at my day care centre with their instructions on how I have to handle their fear while they are away
I find that remembering the acronym FEAR as False Evidence Appearing Real is very useful to help reduce chronic anxiety .Most times it’s a conditioned response as opposed to any physical threat.The key is to acknowledge the feeling of fear -not to give it any energy since “attention gives where energy flows”but to benignly give it a name or label and switch to a more pleasant thought.Its certainly not a quick fix but over time will become your new response to fear and anxiety .
I had a Buddhist monk once tell us about having to go through the middle of any strong emotion. “ You can’t go over, under or around them. You must go straight through the middle. Sometimes I forget. Thank you for the reminder.
I was just preparing a talk for my retreat on obstacles to meditation and I was thinking about the agitation part and sometimes there’s anxiety there – and asking what that needs is a great question to put.
Thank you
One of the things that helps is exactly what u said…stop avoiding n make room for getting to know n understand the anxiety without increasing or overidentifying w it or becoming controlled by it. The dropping into the body n self-soothing is very helpful…. to make this happen …when i remember☺
Well fear is often an illusion about something in the future that probably won’t happen. So when I get into anxiety and fear I try to focus on the Now in meditation ??♂️ and invite the fear in to sit down with me for a cup of tea ? and I talk with my fear with deep compassion and usually find a way to get out of the fear of minimize it and see it for what it is. An illusion. And get back to reality in the now. And then do the things I can do to help myself by taking action. Thank you Tara. You’re a wonderful teacher whom I admire greatly. And you have helped me much over the years.
Thanks Tara! Always inspiring to hear from you!
What helps me most with my fear so to acknowledge that it’s yhere in the first place. Naming it, owning it and breathing into it.
Your podcast the sacred pause has deeply informed ny learning and I continue to share it my with clients. namaste!
Knowing 9 times out of 10 that the fear of something or a situation is 100 times worse then the reality of it. Also knowing I have a good support system behind me.
What helps me the most in the face of fear is to acknowledge it, to allow it and receive it with space and benevolence: May I be able to stay, may I care to care for this moment… thanks Tara!
Exactly as you say…inviting clients to meet the fear, often as sensation and to be present to it together in session and encouraging this when the client is on their own.
This is a helpful context for working with fear. I also find it important for the client to locate where they are holding the fear in the body, and then, if they are able, to allow themselves to see what they see, hear what they hear, feel what they feel – in the body and emotionally – while doing TAT or EFT or another energy protocol to fully release that fear.
being able to disentangle and separate my fear from its target (relationships, work performance, health) enables me to maintain my perspective during moments of worry or doubt. I still experience FFF, but i no longer react without consideration of a broader set of behavioral options; my responses feel like choices rather than the instinctual and adrenaline induced FFF. My success rate is probably not great, but when I do slip into FFF, i’m not ashamed of it. I accept it, ask for help and try again. Otherwise, shame will feed and perpetuate the cycles my fear/anxiety, until ultimately it becomes self-fulfilling: the cycle repeats again and again(reactive FFF -> shame) without relief.
Thank you so much!! Realizing that others are often just as fearful underneath all the Instagram and Facebook posts helps me and my clients face their fears 🙂
Remembering that the emotion of fear is more a collection of neurochemicals triggered by the brain’s tendency to ruminate obsessively on the negative events in one’s past life, even if those events were long ago and the ruminating is mostly unconscious. To be present to now and felt sensations, vegus nerve breathing, helps to calm my overemotional brain, extending loving kindness to my self.
Something that recently helped me deal with a fear of inadequacy I carry with me in relation to my professional life was a writing activity. There is a name for it that I don’t remember but it is writing three pages of stream of consciousness without stopping. A lot of fear based self criticism came out. Acknowledging those fears and putting them on paper helped to release them from swirling in my head. It also released the tension of trying to deny them. I was able to go into an interview without those feelings being front and center. I am happy to say I have been offered the position.
Thanks Tara. I have a few clients with chronic anxiety. A fear of being triggered, a fear of rejection, a fear of the thought that he or she is not good enough. They do well while in therapy. They can counter what we have worked on when on own. However, new fears creep in and they struggle to use the learned strategies with the new fear. I recently used Guided meditation in session with a client, but it did not work outside of session. I plan to record my own for them to use…my voice. Interested in learning more.
Such a helpful video this AM. Speaking with a client today who has struggled with chronic fear for many years. Your presentation provided me with a new way of approaching fear with her.
Thanks much
Acknowledge and accept
Upbeat music, Christian movies, attentive listeners
Having a non judgmental support person to validate their fears, and support them in problem solving options, in order to move on from their frozen state.
Hearing from others
I meet many young people that worry about their own reactions, often fear, anger or anxiety. I also meet parents that worry about their childs behaviour and reactions.
I try to help them cope with their fears by reassuring them that what is happening is not dangerous and that the feeling will pass. I might suggest some calming tecniques, like a “butterflyhug” or mindful breathing.
Because fear stops you connecting with others – trying to respond with an open caring heart can be one way to reduce the fear.
For me by breathing into it.
Walking in the woods. Taking nature pics with my iphone as I notice the little things that run the world(learned this from reading science/biology author E.O. Wilson). Brain huddle anatomy/practice from Dr Jill Bolte Taylor also beneficial to realize how to unite my biological being with awareness and Presence.
Thank you Tara. I think identifying the fear in the body and accepting, breathing, listening to both, body and mind are essential for working with fear. Still, I have a client where all of this works well with me around but when she is alone all the resources seem to get lost in dissoziation. So next session we start again, it seems to take a lot of time for here to trust, as if there is this fear of giving up the fear pattern, existentiell and deep. Increasing and deepening the fear seems to be a better solution to her than trusting anything else if she is alone. She is on SSRI for years now (not from me), increase of panic and heartrace trigger the fear pattern in her body and sometimes I begin to wonder if both work together: the medication and the trust in her body. My regulated nervous system seems to regulate hers, patience and mindfullness make her trust. But if we address her fearless heart we have to be very careful. One question coming up lately is for me: what if ths fear serves a whole (family) System and does not want to release (heal)? Which approach is possible in bigger pictures and systems like now?
Being compassionately present with the fear and nurturing themselves.
Feeling my pulse and slowing it with mindful breathing
For me recognising the felt sensations in my body and naming them ( ie clenched fists, tight throat, thumping heart etc) , then trying to soften all physical tightening and clenching focussing on grounding myself by noticing my feet on the floor and naming objects around me & then mindful breathing for a while letting go with each exhalation. This helps me to create some space & then i can tell myself i am safe now & it’s okay . Soothing and calming myself with my inner voice as if i were comforting a frightened child.
Yes. This works so well. Clients often respond well to a calming voice. I just thought about helping them accept their own voice as calming. To trust their own judgement and inner voice.
For myself, a 71 year old psychodynamic psychotherapist, qualified 12 years ago, I had muted but not calmed my constant hum of anxiety. EXCEPT in sessions where the intensity of listening both to my patient and to myself with no judgment stills the tension, I have a constant humming internal wire of anxiety. Listening to another person’s expression of fear; working to understand its sources and helping them to allow it calms both me and them. My own fear lies in the fear of not being good enough, of failing someone else’s expectations, and an ancient belief that I can make no reparation. When this overwhelms me, I take a step back and ask myself as patient “I wonder why that is happening?” For my patients I have helped them to internalise that neutral question. It reframes the agressive anxious voice, and changes the perspective.
Talking to other people. Haing faith. Challenging our thoughts to be more positive.
Thank you Tara. I face my fear by letting go and making room for courage. I remind myself that courage is one of my core values and mentally turn to face and accept the thing I fear. It’s always a fear of what others think of me. This used to rule my life but gradually as I embrace courage it is slipping away. It will never be completely gone but I accept this too.
Identify the trigger, determine the worst possible outcome, breathe with that slowly, hold it, honoring it provides space to rest and be present
Really appreciated watching this. Nicely simplified and good to help others to get a better understanding of fear.
I can breathe just as u say. I can allow it to be there and hold it like a child thats scared. Everything is ok in this moment, you are safe and loved. I am here for you. Im sorry you had no one to turn to as a little one im here now and I love you! ♥️
knowing that the threat may be transient
that the fear may be based on childhood experiences and not current ones
face fear by recognising triggers
recognising f the fear is real or imagined
helps cbt
creating new neural pathwasys
mindfulness, positive afirmations, practicing/imagining situation in a positive way or outcome
feeling where the fear is in the body
breathing and giving the fear a listening ‘ear’
guided meditation for positive energy / to stop overthinking/ relaxation
Many thanks
De “day care centre for fear” method where people can leave their fear at my day care centre with their instructions on how I have to handle their fear while they are away
interesting, how do you handle a centre full of fears? Do you work energetically with them or what do you?
I tell myself I am okay. Then breathe deeply and be aware of my surroundings by using my senses. I will purposely engage more with my surroundings.
I find that remembering the acronym FEAR as False Evidence Appearing Real is very useful to help reduce chronic anxiety .Most times it’s a conditioned response as opposed to any physical threat.The key is to acknowledge the feeling of fear -not to give it any energy since “attention gives where energy flows”but to benignly give it a name or label and switch to a more pleasant thought.Its certainly not a quick fix but over time will become your new response to fear and anxiety .
Great acronym Sue 🙂
I have been paralyzed by fear and Depression for over a year. This is not who I was, or want to be. I’m hoping for release from this stranglehold.
Simple grounding and presence practices help hugely.
Allowing ourselves to be present , quiet, listen, breathe, and know that there is a greater source energy helping us along the journey…Thank You…
I had a Buddhist monk once tell us about having to go through the middle of any strong emotion. “ You can’t go over, under or around them. You must go straight through the middle. Sometimes I forget. Thank you for the reminder.
I was just preparing a talk for my retreat on obstacles to meditation and I was thinking about the agitation part and sometimes there’s anxiety there – and asking what that needs is a great question to put.
Thank you
One of the things that helps is exactly what u said…stop avoiding n make room for getting to know n understand the anxiety without increasing or overidentifying w it or becoming controlled by it. The dropping into the body n self-soothing is very helpful…. to make this happen …when i remember☺
Well fear is often an illusion about something in the future that probably won’t happen. So when I get into anxiety and fear I try to focus on the Now in meditation ??♂️ and invite the fear in to sit down with me for a cup of tea ? and I talk with my fear with deep compassion and usually find a way to get out of the fear of minimize it and see it for what it is. An illusion. And get back to reality in the now. And then do the things I can do to help myself by taking action. Thank you Tara. You’re a wonderful teacher whom I admire greatly. And you have helped me much over the years.
I love this! Thank you so much Christophef.
Recognizing that there is a higher intelligence and a lot that happens in my life is not up to me, even though most of the time looks like it is.
Knowing that it is temporary and not judging it
Knowing that it is temporary and not judging it
Prayers and positive self talk, seeking company
Thanks Tara! Always inspiring to hear from you!
What helps me most with my fear so to acknowledge that it’s yhere in the first place. Naming it, owning it and breathing into it.
Your podcast the sacred pause has deeply informed ny learning and I continue to share it my with clients. namaste!
Knowing 9 times out of 10 that the fear of something or a situation is 100 times worse then the reality of it. Also knowing I have a good support system behind me.
Stopping to recognize that fear is at the root of my anxiety, then I can deal with it.
What helps me the most in the face of fear is to acknowledge it, to allow it and receive it with space and benevolence: May I be able to stay, may I care to care for this moment… thanks Tara!
Being in a safe environment.
Owning up to having it in the first place
Roger’s Core concepts
Exactly as you say…inviting clients to meet the fear, often as sensation and to be present to it together in session and encouraging this when the client is on their own.
Noticing it and naming it makes it possible to breath into it.
This is a helpful context for working with fear. I also find it important for the client to locate where they are holding the fear in the body, and then, if they are able, to allow themselves to see what they see, hear what they hear, feel what they feel – in the body and emotionally – while doing TAT or EFT or another energy protocol to fully release that fear.
being able to disentangle and separate my fear from its target (relationships, work performance, health) enables me to maintain my perspective during moments of worry or doubt. I still experience FFF, but i no longer react without consideration of a broader set of behavioral options; my responses feel like choices rather than the instinctual and adrenaline induced FFF. My success rate is probably not great, but when I do slip into FFF, i’m not ashamed of it. I accept it, ask for help and try again. Otherwise, shame will feed and perpetuate the cycles my fear/anxiety, until ultimately it becomes self-fulfilling: the cycle repeats again and again(reactive FFF -> shame) without relief.
Thank you so much!! Realizing that others are often just as fearful underneath all the Instagram and Facebook posts helps me and my clients face their fears 🙂
Awareness that others struggle with fear..not only “me”