Thank you for the presentation.
It helps when they recognize it, validate it and then gently shift to the many times that have confront it and overcome it. By doing this they recognize and sense the inner capacity to empower themselves and take actions that create strength and self reliance.
Fear seems to flourish more where expectations and thoughts are unrealistic? Or is it the other way around? Perhaps a learned habitual response is to counter fear feelings/awareness with superman-like thoughts, or at the other end of the spectrum, worthlessness tboughts.
To face my fear, I have to be willing to give up the feeling of the “known and familiar” and take some sort of action. Only action will move me out of my freeze/hide.
As your video mentions it’s the willingness to go there with an open heart. Recognizing the fear was originally generated when you were not mature or aware enough to see all the factors that resulted in you having the fear. Also not realizing all the resources you have to deal with it.
Meditating with very long exhales has helped me face fear and get it to an annoying level instead of an overwhelming level.
Dear Tara,
thank you so much for this effective and beautiful’lesson’.
How can we train our fearless hearts to ‘manage’ the pain of others, when sometimes there is little we can do about a situation to change things. One example is nursing and midwifery students who are participating in a leadership course, however and inevitably they work within a ‘system’ pre set. You have been very helpful already, particularly with the notion of developing a fearless heart.
Many thanks,
Knowing that it is in my head. It is not the reality. One thing are the contents of my mind and another thing the life itself. Don’t belive all your thoughts, there aren’t the reality
Jessica Sieling, Another Field, Sacramento , CA, USAsays
I generally get into action and try to give myself options so I know I can turn my situation around. This is generally around money, income, finances, survival instincts. I grew up with a lot of fear. It’s been running my life since I was a kid. It’s hardwired into me. I am a 45 year old woman and I feel lonely, with no partner, never married and think I always have to do everything on my own. My support system is me and I never get to relax into a loving relationship which makes me feel sad. I am determined, educated, and competitive. I try to grow and challenge myself with everything I do.
I’m sending some of my love and strength. Try to enjoy the everyday, a coffee out somewhere nice.
Start treating yourself.
Things will improve, you will see. Xxx
Discerning the real from the Truth
Seeing how the emotions are connected to perceptions and beliefs.
Awareness of safety and well being in the moment
Allowing a spacious open minded environment for fulfillment of needs and wishes.
I face fear when I remember my self-compassion, when I remind myself that of course I feel fear and it’s okay, when I remember the 12–step acronym- False Evidence Appearing Real – and when I place my hand on my heart and breathe love and acceptance into myself …
Holding the fearful part as I would a frightened child (the frightened child I used to be)-with a soothing, kind and loving heart. Works everytime. The fear is still there but it now feels resourced and I feel empowered.
Susan Moon, Marriage/Family Therapy, Sonoma, CA, USAsays
Thanks for this talk.
For me in facing fear starts with the recognition of the fear. I liked hearing about anxiety and how the roots of the anxiety may be fear.
Within myself & my clients, I will be more interested in exploring the anxiety.
Acknowledging it to myself and feeling it; sharing it in authentic connection w another; participating in collective actions to right wrongs…I think of listening to this talk as one instance of collective action…
Thank you for this video and the gentle way in which you shared! I am making baby steps toward facing fear through mindfulness and turning toward myself with kindness and compassion in those moments.
Take a few sips of water
Receive a few deep breath’s and release a few deep breath’s
Acknowledging fear
Feeling fear in body
Choose one body feeling as a doorway into Fear inquiry
I have a conversation with my fear
Ask my fear What it requires to feel safe and confident
State my new choice
Feel my new choice
Locate my new choice in my body
Breathe and meditate
Feel gratitude
Move
Marcie Polier Swartz, Another Field, Los Angeles , CA, USAsays
Sticking with it…not giving into it…admitting it’s there…helps me face fear. I’m aware that others can sometimes see my fear which adds other feelings to the issue of fear.
And slowly I can work through it paying attention to dreams which helps to work through it. New fear based issues arise wile others resolve. I’m glad I’m listening to this series and hoping to become friendlier with fear as a result.
Marcie in LA
What helps me face fear? Grace. When I remember that I am not alone and that although I think I am holding up 80% of the sky, I am not.
I have a large family. I have raised 3 children of my own and am now raising my 4 grandchildren, as my eldest daughter is unable to due to her struggle with substance abuse disorder. I have fear of my grandchildren’s risks. I have fear of their “outcomes”. Then I remember. I can love them, keep them safe and find movements of fun! But I can not control their outcome. I allow grace, the remembering of something much bigger at play here then ME. I am not holding anything up….I never was. This helps me to let go of fear, notice all the contentment I am surrounded by everyday. If I just notice. And I choose to notice. Be present (mindful) and let that shit go. This allows me to show up for me and life the most beautiful, truest, authentic version of my life.
I process the fear…to understand how and what exactly it entails. This could be disturbing at first but the more I look at it the more distant it gets. It sort of fades or dissolves and I am freed of both mental and physical anguish. It could take a very long time depending on the nature and content of the fear.
Some thoughts re what helps me face fear:
Reminding myself of my past resilience – recalling challenges and reviewing how I got thru those difficult times.
Asking myself what the worst possible thing is that could happen in my current situation and imagining how I would/will respond if is does.
Telling the story of my fear to a good, caring friend and hearing the love in their voice as they respond.
Being grateful for all the positive things in my life and all the strengths I bring to the table in addressing my fears. I.e. countering/reducing my fear with gratitude.
As a Shiatsu Therapist trained to work with the body for 35 years, I quickly learned the interconnectivity of body mind and spiritual health. I always had a strong ability to listen and to be inquisitive of the human condition, so by being genuinely caring about my clients lives, I have noticed how giving them time to express and then I learn, I also share my experiences and sufferings and knowledge and the deep connection of caring and sharing automatically promotes healing and positivity to approach life’s hardships With renewed strength. Learning from the podcasts about mindfulness and welcoming our emotions really helps as we learn to digest this.
Jin shin jyutsu self help for Kidney: hold index finger on sides, helps harmonize fear (kidney energy) Treating others reverse and increase 4 th depth flow
Belief in my ability to solve the problem based on past experiences dealing successfully with difficult situations that made me afraid and temporarily froze my actions.
Living one day at a time in believing in self and understanding that 98% of what we worry about never happens. If it does happen then resilience takes over
The LovingKindness Meditation.
Speaking to the emotions, surrounding the affected part of our body with light and then releasing with the breath and phrases like, I am now safe to let this go, letting go now, relaxing and releasing.
Also, I believe it’s called the Healing Prayer of Light by Joseph Michael Levry.
Focusing on the present through my breath and where I am right now in this moment. Recently this manifested when I went tree top trekking with my daughter and a friend of hers. I have a fear of heights and I just reminded myself to be fully present with myself, the trees, the carabiners that kept me safe and connected to the wires that held me up. I tried to look at the next move I had to make and be truly present for it. Eventually, I was at the highest point and zip lining gloriously down through the forest with a smile on my face and peace in my heart.
I love this . I’m a life/ health coach whose also an occupational therapist like you ! As a coach, I call this leading your mind to next tiny step rather than daunting scary huge task. If I were to compare it to training to running a marathon . An athlete just focused on getting out of bed by picturing coffee and delicious breakfast rather than hiding in their bed under the covers when they realize they are going to have to practice running 7 miles today for example on a hot day . Always focus on immediate tiny next steps and a positive picture / vision , urge resulting happiness in feeling of accomplishment!
Being with others who have moved through a stated of frozen, fearfulness to a peaceful ease. Seeing their genuine joy, and having conversations about how they got there from a state of deep fear.
Deby Williamson, Social Work, Colorado Springs , CO, USAsays
I use — and teach clients to use –grounding to address anxiety, fear, and other strong emotions. Getting present works. Along with getting present, I use — and teach clients to use — DBT mindfulness skills, particularly observe-describe-participate. I also use somatic processing in EMDR to help clients address strong physical memories of trauma — basically facing the fear, with curiosity and without judgment, with BLS. Observe/notice and breathe into it! I like the addition of asking it what it needs. Makes sense. Thank you!!
Jose Jaime Guerrero, Psychotherapy, CA says
Thank you for the presentation.
It helps when they recognize it, validate it and then gently shift to the many times that have confront it and overcome it. By doing this they recognize and sense the inner capacity to empower themselves and take actions that create strength and self reliance.
Carol Binta Nadeem, Psychotherapy, Silver Spring, MD, USA says
Yes! Thank you 🙏🏾 Allowing
Madhuri K, Coach, IN says
Getting in touch with its real face and approaching it with kindness and faith.
Howard Russell, USA says
Fear seems to flourish more where expectations and thoughts are unrealistic? Or is it the other way around? Perhaps a learned habitual response is to counter fear feelings/awareness with superman-like thoughts, or at the other end of the spectrum, worthlessness tboughts.
Kay Holmes, Counseling, Santa Paula, CA, USA says
To face my fear, I have to be willing to give up the feeling of the “known and familiar” and take some sort of action. Only action will move me out of my freeze/hide.
Santosh Subedi, Medicine, NP says
Present moment awareness
Dennis Tirman, Coach, Cincinnati, OH, USA says
As your video mentions it’s the willingness to go there with an open heart. Recognizing the fear was originally generated when you were not mature or aware enough to see all the factors that resulted in you having the fear. Also not realizing all the resources you have to deal with it.
Meditating with very long exhales has helped me face fear and get it to an annoying level instead of an overwhelming level.
Michelle Schaafsma, Another Field, CA says
Identifying “double dip” emotions:
-anxious to start school BUT also EXCITED to see my friends again.
-afraid to have that interview BUT also HAPPY to be selected from a huge number of candidates.
Caren Munson, Another Field, Las Vegas , NV, USA says
Trusting that no matter what, I will be okay
Brenda Fisher, Another Field, Madeira Beach, FL, USA says
Meditation and yoga
Rachelle Maxwell, Teacher, GB says
Dear Tara,
thank you so much for this effective and beautiful’lesson’.
How can we train our fearless hearts to ‘manage’ the pain of others, when sometimes there is little we can do about a situation to change things. One example is nursing and midwifery students who are participating in a leadership course, however and inevitably they work within a ‘system’ pre set. You have been very helpful already, particularly with the notion of developing a fearless heart.
Many thanks,
Rachelle Maxwell
Eva Molina, Teacher, ES says
Knowing that it is in my head. It is not the reality. One thing are the contents of my mind and another thing the life itself. Don’t belive all your thoughts, there aren’t the reality
Jessica Sieling, Another Field, Sacramento , CA, USA says
I generally get into action and try to give myself options so I know I can turn my situation around. This is generally around money, income, finances, survival instincts. I grew up with a lot of fear. It’s been running my life since I was a kid. It’s hardwired into me. I am a 45 year old woman and I feel lonely, with no partner, never married and think I always have to do everything on my own. My support system is me and I never get to relax into a loving relationship which makes me feel sad. I am determined, educated, and competitive. I try to grow and challenge myself with everything I do.
Rachelle Maxwell, Teacher, GB says
I’m sending some of my love and strength. Try to enjoy the everyday, a coffee out somewhere nice.
Start treating yourself.
Things will improve, you will see. Xxx
Mahesh Deshmukh, Coach, IN says
Mindful breathing and walk in the nature. Spending time with toddlers 🙂
Tracy Brady, Counseling, San Antonio, TX, USA says
Discerning the real from the Truth
Seeing how the emotions are connected to perceptions and beliefs.
Awareness of safety and well being in the moment
Allowing a spacious open minded environment for fulfillment of needs and wishes.
Debbie Orman, Coach, UM says
Embracing the feeling as normal. Shifting my energy with tai chi and mindfulness and tapping EFT practice
José Zamarr, Other, ES says
A few deep breaths; a walk in the park; talking to a quiet friend or family member
Ellen Winner, Another Field, Boulder, CO, USA says
If I’m calm and relaxed, and signal that I like and accept them, they can more easily face their fear.
Sally Bleier, Counseling, USA says
This was very insightful. What has helped me face fears is accepting myself as I am.
Lisa Kohn, PA, USA says
I face fear when I remember my self-compassion, when I remind myself that of course I feel fear and it’s okay, when I remember the 12–step acronym- False Evidence Appearing Real – and when I place my hand on my heart and breathe love and acceptance into myself …
Joy Zeglinski, Medicine, CA says
Holding the fearful part as I would a frightened child (the frightened child I used to be)-with a soothing, kind and loving heart. Works everytime. The fear is still there but it now feels resourced and I feel empowered.
Susan Moon, Marriage/Family Therapy, Sonoma, CA, USA says
Thanks for this talk.
For me in facing fear starts with the recognition of the fear. I liked hearing about anxiety and how the roots of the anxiety may be fear.
Within myself & my clients, I will be more interested in exploring the anxiety.
Crystal Jack says
Byron Katie’s The Work, asking if the thought is true
Maritza Arrastia, Teacher, Brooklyn, NY, USA says
Acknowledging it to myself and feeling it; sharing it in authentic connection w another; participating in collective actions to right wrongs…I think of listening to this talk as one instance of collective action…
Patrick Onuscheck, Student, Evanston, IL, USA says
I meditate and write in a gratitudev
Julie Anderson, Another Field, Stevenson, WA, USA says
Being in nature…embracing the ambience of relative aliveness to my thoughts that may or may not be reality.
Maud Zimmer, Marriage/Family Therapy, Bolinas, CA, USA says
Asking the question: what is the worst thing that can happen?
Carson Kapp, New smyrna beach, FL, USA says
Trust, this too shall pass
Lindita Vani, Counseling, IE says
Thank you for this video and the gentle way in which you shared! I am making baby steps toward facing fear through mindfulness and turning toward myself with kindness and compassion in those moments.
Emily Eisen, Another Field, USA says
Take a few sips of water
Receive a few deep breath’s and release a few deep breath’s
Acknowledging fear
Feeling fear in body
Choose one body feeling as a doorway into Fear inquiry
I have a conversation with my fear
Ask my fear What it requires to feel safe and confident
State my new choice
Feel my new choice
Locate my new choice in my body
Breathe and meditate
Feel gratitude
Move
Marcie Polier Swartz, Another Field, Los Angeles , CA, USA says
Sticking with it…not giving into it…admitting it’s there…helps me face fear. I’m aware that others can sometimes see my fear which adds other feelings to the issue of fear.
And slowly I can work through it paying attention to dreams which helps to work through it. New fear based issues arise wile others resolve. I’m glad I’m listening to this series and hoping to become friendlier with fear as a result.
Marcie in LA
Mary Streeter, Coach, USA says
What helps me face fear? Grace. When I remember that I am not alone and that although I think I am holding up 80% of the sky, I am not.
I have a large family. I have raised 3 children of my own and am now raising my 4 grandchildren, as my eldest daughter is unable to due to her struggle with substance abuse disorder. I have fear of my grandchildren’s risks. I have fear of their “outcomes”. Then I remember. I can love them, keep them safe and find movements of fun! But I can not control their outcome. I allow grace, the remembering of something much bigger at play here then ME. I am not holding anything up….I never was. This helps me to let go of fear, notice all the contentment I am surrounded by everyday. If I just notice. And I choose to notice. Be present (mindful) and let that shit go. This allows me to show up for me and life the most beautiful, truest, authentic version of my life.
Grace Mangar, Teacher, MU says
I process the fear…to understand how and what exactly it entails. This could be disturbing at first but the more I look at it the more distant it gets. It sort of fades or dissolves and I am freed of both mental and physical anguish. It could take a very long time depending on the nature and content of the fear.
Linda Anonymous, Another Field, USA says
Some thoughts re what helps me face fear:
Reminding myself of my past resilience – recalling challenges and reviewing how I got thru those difficult times.
Asking myself what the worst possible thing is that could happen in my current situation and imagining how I would/will respond if is does.
Telling the story of my fear to a good, caring friend and hearing the love in their voice as they respond.
Being grateful for all the positive things in my life and all the strengths I bring to the table in addressing my fears. I.e. countering/reducing my fear with gratitude.
Dianne Russell, Other, CA says
As a Shiatsu Therapist trained to work with the body for 35 years, I quickly learned the interconnectivity of body mind and spiritual health. I always had a strong ability to listen and to be inquisitive of the human condition, so by being genuinely caring about my clients lives, I have noticed how giving them time to express and then I learn, I also share my experiences and sufferings and knowledge and the deep connection of caring and sharing automatically promotes healing and positivity to approach life’s hardships With renewed strength. Learning from the podcasts about mindfulness and welcoming our emotions really helps as we learn to digest this.
Grainne McLaughlin, Other, IE says
Meditation helps with fear.
Tom Stevens, Denver, CO, USA says
Tapping is good re: Carol Look
also IFS Lisa Barnet
Glenn Goodman, Coach, USA says
Great insight for humanity, straight forward
Jill Willard, Another Field, CA says
Taking small steps, breathing.
Thank you Tara for offering your mini workshops. Always good.
Tom Stevens, Denver, CO, USA says
Jin shin jyutsu self help for Kidney: hold index finger on sides, helps harmonize fear (kidney energy) Treating others reverse and increase 4 th depth flow
Debbie Orman, Coach, Milwaukee, WI, USA says
Excellent about index finger, thanks ! Curious about this other thing you mention . Can you please clarify if you don’t mind?!
Diane Newbery, Another Field, CA says
Belief in my ability to solve the problem based on past experiences dealing successfully with difficult situations that made me afraid and temporarily froze my actions.
Grainne McLaughlin, IE says
Breathing and walking in nature.
Fran Parker, Psychology, Sylvan Lake, MI, USA says
Living one day at a time in believing in self and understanding that 98% of what we worry about never happens. If it does happen then resilience takes over
Cindy, Counseling, USA says
The LovingKindness Meditation.
Speaking to the emotions, surrounding the affected part of our body with light and then releasing with the breath and phrases like, I am now safe to let this go, letting go now, relaxing and releasing.
Also, I believe it’s called the Healing Prayer of Light by Joseph Michael Levry.
Colleen Good, Occupational Therapy, CA says
Focusing on the present through my breath and where I am right now in this moment. Recently this manifested when I went tree top trekking with my daughter and a friend of hers. I have a fear of heights and I just reminded myself to be fully present with myself, the trees, the carabiners that kept me safe and connected to the wires that held me up. I tried to look at the next move I had to make and be truly present for it. Eventually, I was at the highest point and zip lining gloriously down through the forest with a smile on my face and peace in my heart.
Debbie Orman, Coach, Milwaukee , WI, USA says
I love this . I’m a life/ health coach whose also an occupational therapist like you ! As a coach, I call this leading your mind to next tiny step rather than daunting scary huge task. If I were to compare it to training to running a marathon . An athlete just focused on getting out of bed by picturing coffee and delicious breakfast rather than hiding in their bed under the covers when they realize they are going to have to practice running 7 miles today for example on a hot day . Always focus on immediate tiny next steps and a positive picture / vision , urge resulting happiness in feeling of accomplishment!
Ave Doe, Medicine, 81131, CO, USA says
Being with others who have moved through a stated of frozen, fearfulness to a peaceful ease. Seeing their genuine joy, and having conversations about how they got there from a state of deep fear.
Nita Marlette, Dietetics, Cottonwood , AZ, USA says
Finding peace in the middle of chaos and developing a daily practice that promotes an optimistic outlook
Deby Williamson, Social Work, Colorado Springs , CO, USA says
I use — and teach clients to use –grounding to address anxiety, fear, and other strong emotions. Getting present works. Along with getting present, I use — and teach clients to use — DBT mindfulness skills, particularly observe-describe-participate. I also use somatic processing in EMDR to help clients address strong physical memories of trauma — basically facing the fear, with curiosity and without judgment, with BLS. Observe/notice and breathe into it! I like the addition of asking it what it needs. Makes sense. Thank you!!
Jim Lentz, Counseling, Lexington, KY, USA says
Thanks. All good, deep breathing, & faith in God.
Suzanne Bigras, Another Field, CA says
So much value in what was said. Thank You Tara.
Face, Everything, And, Rejoice .
Looking forward to more enlightenment