I have a fear of my cancer coming back. It helps to think positive that my cells are well and every time I take medication I make little mantra that all my cells are doing good and even that my cells are happy
I STOP and feel the fear in my body. I feel where it is and what it feels like. Then I have become the active witness, not bypassing but actually experiencing the sensations. To come back home to myself is important. In addition, without doing anything about the fear itself, I see that I am capable of handling the emotion. This is very empowering. I believe we all spend so much energy trying to get away from feelings, from actually experiencing them. Doing something physical helps me, too. I like Qi Gong or yoga. Once again, it brings me back home to my body.
I then try to identify the thoughts and do some Byron Katie work on the thought(s) that are causing the fear. However, I like to stop first and feel what my body is feeling.
Thank you Tara, you’re teachings and trainings have been so helpful and I’ve been using the RAIN practice with my clients who are experiencing anxiety and fear. One client recently resonated with the nurture aspect of RAIN where she was able to recognize that she hasn’t been listening to her inner younger voice that needed to be heard, that wanted her to know she was capable and loved. This is powerful work and I’m so grateful and look forward to more of your teachings. Thank you Thank you!!
-Jennifer Collins LMSW
Deep conscious breathing
Meditation
Mindful movement and body scans
Addressing ANTS. Automatic negative thoughts
Exercise
Gratitude practices
Self care
Energetic hygiene practices
Reminding myself of who I truly am- love in form, provides a very stable foundation from which I can face whatever arises with tenderness and compassion. Acknowledging fear when it shows up is then actually not a problem but an opportunity.
When the fear is physical, like when I’m rock climbing and face a difficult move, two things help – 1. Trusting my body to tell me what is too much, and that hard doesn’t mean impossible, and 2. reminding myself that if I fall, the person on the other end of the rope is going to do everything he can to make my fall a safe one. Sometimes, just knowing those two things is enough to get me to try. And if I try, I usually have a 50/50 shot of succeeding, and so far have always survived the attempt even if I fail! That kind of evidence of experience adds up to reduce my sense of the danger, and shifts my reactions over time from fear to challenge. I guess I use similar strategies when facing any task that seems daunting, whether at work or in my private life.
What is harder to me is knowing how to identify the fear at work in my emotional relationships, where I’m very reactive and quite often having to breathe or exit after upsetting or dispiriting interactions involving my partner, whom I know will not hurt me ever.
Dale Steele, Another Field, Greenville, NC, USAsays
After fully feeling the fear (which may include shaking or rocking), inviting attention/the senses to focus on the immediate environment right here, right now. Asking, other than what I am (you are) thinking and believing am I (are you) okay? Inviting myself (them) to fully sense and acknowledge that within the immediacy of what’s actually happening here and now, that I am (you are) okay.
Mentally and emotionally visit the fear evoking situation from the past. Look frame by frame at the movie to see if even in the worst moment, was I (were you) actually okay other than what I was (you were) thinking and believing about the situation? This is inspired by The Work of Byron Katie and watching Katie walk clients through The Work. The above is applied in the context of doing The Work.
Experience. I’ve ran from it, hid and fought for it. None of these end well. Thinking about the fearful stressor, my reactions mentally and physically and attempting to lessen its grip, have helped immensely.
Reminding myself/others that often the worst fear is in the anticipation of an outcome and trying to reframe the situation or fear with a more positive outcome.
Breathing mindfully. Staying with breath – it’s a constant, comforting companion and always there to welcome you ‘home’. Listening to breath – can let you know when life challenges are having a negative effect on your well being, but can also soothe and heal, by simply ‘tuning in’ to its flow and hearing it’s natural lullaby. Feeling breath – exploring the physical body as you breathe – discovering (uncovering) areas that might be holding fear and using breath to visit and gently ‘massage’ those areas to help facilitate release.
Thanks I’ve been working for many years with mindfulness as I tend to have always suffered from anxiety which seems to be there all the time Focusing on the feeling in the body and allowing it to be there does work when I think of doing it. I need constant reminders. Physical activities often help and sometimes I have to make myself do this Yoga in particular helps to expand and free the body and mind especially different breathing practices
Thankyou for your support
Michele Ryan
Connie Moore, Another Field, Randolph, MA, USAsays
Through many years of dabbling in and using, sometimes, mindfulness, gratitude, metta, I can usually live with my fearless heart. I am looking forward to learning more about chronic anxiety as this is the reality for my 18 year old daughter! And part of my path is helping her navigate her way. 🙏🏻
Theresa G, Another Field, Colorado Springs, CO, USAsays
Letting myself have the fear. The part of me that lets me have the fear is what I’ve been more and more aware of and acknowledging and, especially lately, enjoying. It’s funny, I’ve always had this part yet wasn’t that aware. Your first books helped me increase that awareness. I hope to find a meditation group again since Covid is less scarey where I live. (funny how covid evoked more fear…)
I feel more frustration about the way leaders/people are acting and my futility to influence global affairs than fear. I suppose I also worry about the future, but try to suppress that because I’m mindful I might end up worrying about worrying.
Naming the fear has proven important for me and my clients. Also naming the worst possible outcomes, just releases a lot of energy and helps to deal responsibly with just acknowledging it or ¨doing something¨ about it.
When I was a child, I had a recurring nightmare of two lions chasing me. I would wake up shaking with fear. Because I was a child and did not have a knowledgeable mentor to help me recognize that these lions were valuable allies, I stayed in that frequency of fear for a long time. Later in life I learned the value of these spiritual helpers, and when I did, I was able to stop dead in my tracks and turn around and face these lions. They had much to teach me. All the time they were there to help and protect me. The lesson learned then and now ( because I am still learning) is to turn around and face whatever I believe is the cause of my fear or suffering. I am looking forward to this teaching so that I can better understand the different faces that fear takes on.
Deep breathing, prayer, and sitting in stillness help to settle fears and to acknowledge them. Validating others feelings and providing a supportive presence helps others and myself. To live in the present moment is the goal and get out of my head and thoughts.
I am retired but am officiating my niece’s wedding this weekend with 200 people (outside at least) and its been three years since i public spoke and have never officiated a wedding.
Dianne Modell, Psychotherapy, Arlington, VA, USAsays
I find that anxiety is often shame based; shame about a person’s truth, their true and unexpressed feelings of anger, rage, hurt underneath the fear, locked inside them, like a pressure cooker , shaking and sputtering ( panic and anxiety).
Learning to create a safe space within, which often starts with having a safe healer outside yourself to entrust with your unfolding truths, shame is lifted and living authentically begins the release of shame based fears.
acknowledge it, slowing down and being with it. bodilywise. giving it attention as a physical experience, being interested, open and patient – especially with all forms of resistance, that often show up. consciously appreciating these moments.
Listening to Tara or other teachers who share their wisdom in a gentle way
Marsha Marino, Social Work, Massapequa , NY, USAsays
Well, we, myself and the world are so very grateful for your fearless heart Tara. It makes me feel I too can transform my heart from fear “full” to fear “less.”
I face unpredictability daily, living in a world of autism. Covid restrictions has fueled this fear as my only son resides in a residential school. I can no longer see him a few times a week. Once, that is all I get for now. I have read all your books. And each time I hear and feel fear coming upon me with a new email from the school, I say Radical Acceptance” and then I face it, make space for it and relax into it.
When I can u-turn, I can figure out what’s going on and what my options are. I’m grounded, no longer in a house of fire. I continue on MY path, not the dizzying spiral of fear.
Psycho education on Mindfulness is an essential part of working with clients during the initial consultation and continues through a treatment program based on gaining control of one’s thoughts and feelings. Linda
For me, in may it vary depending upon the type and/or degree of fear I’m facing. At the root, is being grounded with the inner knowing that I am blessed by the divine/higher power so whatever is happening in this very moment is exactly as it was meant to be.
With practice, I now have a strong faith and courage in myself; knowing that I have the mental, physical and spiritual tools to face whatever the fear is in that moment. I also now know that the I only thing I can control is my response to the fear.
I have a fear of my cancer coming back. It helps to think positive that my cells are well and every time I take medication I make little mantra that all my cells are doing good and even that my cells are happy
I STOP and feel the fear in my body. I feel where it is and what it feels like. Then I have become the active witness, not bypassing but actually experiencing the sensations. To come back home to myself is important. In addition, without doing anything about the fear itself, I see that I am capable of handling the emotion. This is very empowering. I believe we all spend so much energy trying to get away from feelings, from actually experiencing them. Doing something physical helps me, too. I like Qi Gong or yoga. Once again, it brings me back home to my body.
I then try to identify the thoughts and do some Byron Katie work on the thought(s) that are causing the fear. However, I like to stop first and feel what my body is feeling.
I would do the same with a client.
Slowing down!
Thank you Tara, you’re teachings and trainings have been so helpful and I’ve been using the RAIN practice with my clients who are experiencing anxiety and fear. One client recently resonated with the nurture aspect of RAIN where she was able to recognize that she hasn’t been listening to her inner younger voice that needed to be heard, that wanted her to know she was capable and loved. This is powerful work and I’m so grateful and look forward to more of your teachings. Thank you Thank you!!
-Jennifer Collins LMSW
Deep conscious breathing
Meditation
Mindful movement and body scans
Addressing ANTS. Automatic negative thoughts
Exercise
Gratitude practices
Self care
Energetic hygiene practices
I think this instruction is helpful. as you suggest, renaming and linking my experience of ‘indecision’ to the term ‘fear’ is helpful.
Reminding myself of who I truly am- love in form, provides a very stable foundation from which I can face whatever arises with tenderness and compassion. Acknowledging fear when it shows up is then actually not a problem but an opportunity.
Martha, beautifully said. I resonate and appreciate you pointing out that we are “love in form.” Thank you.
When the fear is physical, like when I’m rock climbing and face a difficult move, two things help – 1. Trusting my body to tell me what is too much, and that hard doesn’t mean impossible, and 2. reminding myself that if I fall, the person on the other end of the rope is going to do everything he can to make my fall a safe one. Sometimes, just knowing those two things is enough to get me to try. And if I try, I usually have a 50/50 shot of succeeding, and so far have always survived the attempt even if I fail! That kind of evidence of experience adds up to reduce my sense of the danger, and shifts my reactions over time from fear to challenge. I guess I use similar strategies when facing any task that seems daunting, whether at work or in my private life.
What is harder to me is knowing how to identify the fear at work in my emotional relationships, where I’m very reactive and quite often having to breathe or exit after upsetting or dispiriting interactions involving my partner, whom I know will not hurt me ever.
After fully feeling the fear (which may include shaking or rocking), inviting attention/the senses to focus on the immediate environment right here, right now. Asking, other than what I am (you are) thinking and believing am I (are you) okay? Inviting myself (them) to fully sense and acknowledge that within the immediacy of what’s actually happening here and now, that I am (you are) okay.
Mentally and emotionally visit the fear evoking situation from the past. Look frame by frame at the movie to see if even in the worst moment, was I (were you) actually okay other than what I was (you were) thinking and believing about the situation? This is inspired by The Work of Byron Katie and watching Katie walk clients through The Work. The above is applied in the context of doing The Work.
Experience. I’ve ran from it, hid and fought for it. None of these end well. Thinking about the fearful stressor, my reactions mentally and physically and attempting to lessen its grip, have helped immensely.
Reminding myself/others that often the worst fear is in the anticipation of an outcome and trying to reframe the situation or fear with a more positive outcome.
I really don’t know what helps me face fear other than the support of my sober community, meditation, and prayer.
Breathing and prayer help me
Meditating, breathing, trying to swe The situation In wider perspective
Breathing exercises, Autogenic Practice. Mindfulness and Guided meditation 👋🏻🥰
Breathing mindfully. Staying with breath – it’s a constant, comforting companion and always there to welcome you ‘home’. Listening to breath – can let you know when life challenges are having a negative effect on your well being, but can also soothe and heal, by simply ‘tuning in’ to its flow and hearing it’s natural lullaby. Feeling breath – exploring the physical body as you breathe – discovering (uncovering) areas that might be holding fear and using breath to visit and gently ‘massage’ those areas to help facilitate release.
“What we can feel, we can heal”
“All feelings fully felt return to joy and peace”
“What we resist persists.”
Exercise, being in nature, going for a walk
To be in contact with a consciously present person, who makes up a safe atmosphere that makes it possible to be with the fear, without being scared.
Thanks I’ve been working for many years with mindfulness as I tend to have always suffered from anxiety which seems to be there all the time Focusing on the feeling in the body and allowing it to be there does work when I think of doing it. I need constant reminders. Physical activities often help and sometimes I have to make myself do this Yoga in particular helps to expand and free the body and mind especially different breathing practices
Thankyou for your support
Michele Ryan
Naming the fear. Is it situational or ongoing?
Through many years of dabbling in and using, sometimes, mindfulness, gratitude, metta, I can usually live with my fearless heart. I am looking forward to learning more about chronic anxiety as this is the reality for my 18 year old daughter! And part of my path is helping her navigate her way. 🙏🏻
Letting myself have the fear. The part of me that lets me have the fear is what I’ve been more and more aware of and acknowledging and, especially lately, enjoying. It’s funny, I’ve always had this part yet wasn’t that aware. Your first books helped me increase that awareness. I hope to find a meditation group again since Covid is less scarey where I live. (funny how covid evoked more fear…)
Meditation, talking with close friends, making my art, spending time in nature or with children and animals. Feeling connection to others.
Recognizing it and allowing it. Knowing it will pass.
Welcoming it in and sitting with it (when I’m present enough to remember)
I feel more frustration about the way leaders/people are acting and my futility to influence global affairs than fear. I suppose I also worry about the future, but try to suppress that because I’m mindful I might end up worrying about worrying.
Naming the fear has proven important for me and my clients. Also naming the worst possible outcomes, just releases a lot of energy and helps to deal responsibly with just acknowledging it or ¨doing something¨ about it.
When I was a child, I had a recurring nightmare of two lions chasing me. I would wake up shaking with fear. Because I was a child and did not have a knowledgeable mentor to help me recognize that these lions were valuable allies, I stayed in that frequency of fear for a long time. Later in life I learned the value of these spiritual helpers, and when I did, I was able to stop dead in my tracks and turn around and face these lions. They had much to teach me. All the time they were there to help and protect me. The lesson learned then and now ( because I am still learning) is to turn around and face whatever I believe is the cause of my fear or suffering. I am looking forward to this teaching so that I can better understand the different faces that fear takes on.
This is lovely. Thank you.
Meditation to remind me to be kind to myself.
Deep breathing, prayer, and sitting in stillness help to settle fears and to acknowledge them. Validating others feelings and providing a supportive presence helps others and myself. To live in the present moment is the goal and get out of my head and thoughts.
Pausing to breathe, read something spiritual, or listen to a meditation. Sometimes successful.
Knowing that it is temporary and will pass
I am retired but am officiating my niece’s wedding this weekend with 200 people (outside at least) and its been three years since i public spoke and have never officiated a wedding.
Precisely what you said.
Sharing it…….being able to look at it without being it.
You are so lovely and thank you Tara for your awesome sharings. Learn so much from you. Continued blessings coming your way ~ Lisa
Supporting myself.. refraining from belittling myself
Scanning my body where it is tight and tense and opening spaces to breathe
Grounding themselves in the present moment..
I find that anxiety is often shame based; shame about a person’s truth, their true and unexpressed feelings of anger, rage, hurt underneath the fear, locked inside them, like a pressure cooker , shaking and sputtering ( panic and anxiety).
Learning to create a safe space within, which often starts with having a safe healer outside yourself to entrust with your unfolding truths, shame is lifted and living authentically begins the release of shame based fears.
Thank you for putting this so beautifully into words. I can relate.
acknowledge it, slowing down and being with it. bodilywise. giving it attention as a physical experience, being interested, open and patient – especially with all forms of resistance, that often show up. consciously appreciating these moments.
Listening to Tara or other teachers who share their wisdom in a gentle way
Well, we, myself and the world are so very grateful for your fearless heart Tara. It makes me feel I too can transform my heart from fear “full” to fear “less.”
I face unpredictability daily, living in a world of autism. Covid restrictions has fueled this fear as my only son resides in a residential school. I can no longer see him a few times a week. Once, that is all I get for now. I have read all your books. And each time I hear and feel fear coming upon me with a new email from the school, I say Radical Acceptance” and then I face it, make space for it and relax into it.
Be well and safe. You are a blessing Tara Brach.
Marsha Marino, LCSW
Long Island
Talking about the fear with myself or others.
Acknowledge it. Walk through it.
When I can u-turn, I can figure out what’s going on and what my options are. I’m grounded, no longer in a house of fire. I continue on MY path, not the dizzying spiral of fear.
Dealing with relentless persistent thoughts …
Psycho education on Mindfulness is an essential part of working with clients during the initial consultation and continues through a treatment program based on gaining control of one’s thoughts and feelings. Linda
Breathing , coming back to the present moment .
Fear of negative response in taking a medical test is my problem.
For me, in may it vary depending upon the type and/or degree of fear I’m facing. At the root, is being grounded with the inner knowing that I am blessed by the divine/higher power so whatever is happening in this very moment is exactly as it was meant to be.
With practice, I now have a strong faith and courage in myself; knowing that I have the mental, physical and spiritual tools to face whatever the fear is in that moment. I also now know that the I only thing I can control is my response to the fear.
Your RAIN has helped so much.