This was an amazing video. What helps me face fear is to recognize that it is fear in the first place (the feeling of tightness in the chest, clutch in the belly), and then to try to breathe mindfully until I can calm down so I can wonder why fear is coming up. I do tend to respond with fight reactivity, and then retrieve to intense flight reactivity. So I face the fear by going towards it to the best of my ability before I react.
What helps me face fear is the willingness to work with it. I regularly see a spiritual director, write in my journal, dance my emotions. I also practice gentleness with myself. My centering prayer and yoga practices serve me in surrendering….
Spiritual teachers are very beneficial also!
Thank you for providing help Having lost my husband to sudden death and becoming very ill and in chronic physical pain three days later (during lockdown) I have become very hyper vigilant and frightened. I am so happy to have a lifeline. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
To remember what you fear is possibly an event that has already happened and to sit with that and let it pass, for the fear feeds on your inability to face something, and when you remember it, you realise that although it was bad the fear you had been carrying was so much worse.
Trust and faith in God.
A feeling that thoughts are not as bad as they seem.
A confidence that things are going to work for the better.
Failure is not trying. Failing is experience.
The rewards of trying are bigger than the pain of failing.
I will use this resource
Sharing with those interested
in my senior living community-
Many Seniors have anxiety not only over Covid but economy and their health and health of others. We are a low income community, with this comes other adversities.
This season in life
Thank you immensely for this “free” assistance and tool
Thank you
I would love for someone to just tell me what to do, but that, of course, is unattainable! 🙂
The next best thing has been a therapist, medication, and embracing growth. The most influential people in my life alleviate some of my fears; they give me support, reassurance, trust, safety, acceptance, and love. Providing the same for them, or even for a stranger, reduces my fear that I have nothing of value to contribute.
I so appreciate the comments that others have posted! Things like take action, take care of the things that you have put off, that fear is impermanent, and turn to nature really resonated with me. Tangible things like education, creating a plan, and preparation help me with uncertainty.
I think the most meaningful thing I can do is tell myself that I am able to handle whatever happens in my life.
Liliana Cortes, Social Work, Lake Worth , FL, USAsays
Over the years I used,
Name it
Breathing into it
Being with it
Removing the shame associated with it by accepting it
I have also shared these with many of my clients (Vetran’s experiencing PTSD from war exposure or from MST), and for many these methods of increase awareness and acceptance have become a way home… as it has been for myself as well. Thank you 🙏🏽
Taking the time to calm my nervous system, breath deeply and then break the fear down into its components.
So I go from the emotional response to a more grounded reasoned response to the fear.
My meditation practice helps me face fear and any other challenges. I’ve been meditating for over fifty years now, and am deeply grateful for this ever growing lifeline. In Song and Peace … Nina Umai
Thank you for the short but touching impulse!
I think I can more easily open towards fear when I understand that is “normal”. Hearing you describing the phenomenon as a common thing, I can relax into my selfcare, asking myself what I need in my state of being insecure instead of wondering why I feel shitty. Might have something to do with acceptance 🙂
Thanks very much for the video. It is beautifully presented. Clear, brief, calm and encouraging.And it directs one towards awareness of the ever-present Peace within.
I will use this in working with my patients, and I will include it in my own daily Spiritual practice.
Fear is a struggle with lack of control. A struggle to accept what is out of our control. Validating fear and reminding myself I’m doing the best I can do provides some peace. When there is fear outside of myself I try to be present with things or people I feel fear around. I try to listen and be compassionate. Sometimes I need space but I know I would benefit from facing the fear at some point.
Prayer, meditation and having coffee and confiding with my 2 best friends. I also do yoga. Doing these things help me feel loved. When I feel loved then I can then look into myself and my feeling. Spending time with my family helps me feel more at ease when I have fear. Reading books such as, The Four Agreements helps me too.
Thank you so much Tara!
Your words are alway resonating with what I feel and what I’m searching for.
I am practicing Pause in the midst of turmoil of any degree .
Breathing and trusting that through it I will become again and again, in small portions, more aware of my inner observer, the limitless space that contains all.
I had a few days ago two consecutive concerts (I am a cellist ) the first time playing in public after the Pandemic ( All Beethoven String Trio’s)
Never felt such anxiety before a concert.
The first concert I was able to totally dive into this large space where music is in its element.
The second concert anxiety attacked me from the first note.
I have enough stage experience so that the audience doesn’t notice anything.
But for me it was a very difficult, long moment.
In the middle of a much demanding performance I had no way to pause long enough (although I have developed a way of working and teaching based on finding ‘resting notes’).
The abyss a musician falls into after such a not synchronized way of performing is deep.
Despite the fact that after the break the total oneness with the music and instrument were back, the sensations of the first part of the concert obscured it all.
A lifelong search for balance in life ,on stage , will not guarantee the certainty we so much long for.
Acceptance of such a moment needs to be called from very far away.
My Mantra
A….L.I.F.E.
If I have a problem…I am aware of it or any past triggers that trigger this fear….I then Live it, own it, name it, understand it, When I have identified it..I keep breathing and then really feel it emotionally, visually, verbally….then when my mind and body feel calm…I fill with warmth and light and erase it.
This helps me face my fears and my thoughts from being on repeat and the story each time it arrives, adding another made up chapter. When it arrives again I erase it as have already dealt with it.
Tuning in to my body with a body scan and then bringing loving kindness and self compassion to whatever appears. Other times I might recognise the symptoms of my fear and choose and activity that engages my senses in a calming and grounding way. For me that might be a walk in nature, watching the sun rise or set, playing a musical instrument, dancing or singing.
– awareness of fear
– awareness of things more important than fear in any particular circumstance (ability to be loving, generous, kind, patient etc.)
– prayer, remembrance of the sacred, that we won’t ever be able to control or understand everything
Martin Gross, Another Field, Wheat Ridge, CO, USAsays
I tend to laugh stuff off. I’m a big believer in quotes. One, the title of a song by Miles Davis, which I feel so strongly about I wouldn’t mind if it were etched in my headstone. “SO WHAT!”
I like that phrase because it reminds me of an experience of tremendous loss. I carried the pain 3/4 of my life and, to some extent, I still do.
The title of an album by John Cougar Mellencamp sums up another thought for me quite nicely: “Nothing matters….and what if it did?” I could have spared myself a lot of agonies if I had adopted those 2 philosophies 40 years ago.
Im so thankful for great music by artists like Miles. It’s tough when grief and fear disable us. It can stop us from being in the present moment. Our presence to all we experience is the present we can bring to ourselves. I agree it can help when we bring a playful laugh to ourselves too. Also a loving kindness and attitude of understanding that each moment we experience will pass can also be valuable. Best wishes on your journey.
Dear Tara, what helps my clients face fear is to recognize the fear, name it “Oh it is fear rising,” breathe into it and let it pass with the breath work and knowing that all is well, there is no danger. Thank you Tara for this wonderful post.
I still forget to do this myself even though it helps me when I do…..and that’s saying Thank You anxiety, Thank You lonliness, Thank You not knowing, Thank You whatever the feeling is. And it’s something I also need to improve on and that’s thanking the good things that come up in my day. Peace.
Tara, thank you so much for your clarity and wisdom. I find vital to overcome fear, to approach it a bit at a time, to feel it through our awareness in our bodies and see how much or little we can take it within a safe space. I have helped my daughter to overcome many fears when she was little by an excellent book called “Growing Up Brave”. Now that she is a teen, I normalize her experience, letting her know that everyone feels fear. I help her to feel rooted in her soles, to look around to orient herself, to accept her fear and still have the bravery of facing the situation even if it means dipping her pinky toe at a time, trying to surprise herself into doing something different of what her brain is used to. Neuro-education I find is very important in this process.
I’m not sure how “facing my fear” as an immune compromised person during covid, would be helpful. It’s legitimate in my situation, but I do get tired of being hyper aware of everything and everyone around me because I choose to take precautions based on my situation but every time I walk out the door most people are crowding together in places and acting like there’s no covid when our area has full hospitals. Perhaps thiese videos are more for “irrational” fears when covid and natural disasters are real and something people are going through now.
Maria Rivera, Psychotherapy, Guttenberg, NJ, USAsays
I was lucky to know you, Tara, through a colleague/friend through your book Radical Acceptance. So now I am part of “your fan club.”
I work with clients who’ve suffered trauma and will share with them this simple explanation that, with the help of the visuals and the stories, makes it very clear the automatic responses they have when triggered.
I am very grateful for this….Thank you so much!
The next step for me is to incorporate mindfulness practice in my life.
Yes, calming for me is when I am inside nature and breath!
Access to an inner Loving Presence that normalizes the fear, offering words/images/music/gestures that expresses care, love, being okay, always available, never leaving.
Staying with it in the quiet of my sitting practice. Noticing the sensations of it in my body when I’m at ease during sitting and when I’m not, during active life. The choice then becomes mine as to engage in ease or fear. It’s sometimes fearful ease but it is ease. And sometimes it’s more fear then ease but I know through experience, that with choice, I can release it and ease again predominates.
Thank you, Tara. This was perfect timing! I know now that I have let fear rule my life. Fear of the future, fear of letting people down, fear of making a mistake, fear of getting sick or running out of money…and now sometimes even fear of leaving my house this past year and a half. Most of these have no basis in reality, and yet I ruminate on them. It can sometimes take 2 guided meditations just to get out of bed in the morning. I am so glad I have found you. You have opened a door for me. In gratitude. JS
As an art therapist I will have the client connect to their breathing. We do this together sitting quietly bringing awareness to our body and into the closed or tight areas. Can we release?
Now we bring a soft watercolor wash across the paper keeping it so faint … creating a feeling of out breath. Paying close attention to cover the whole paper with even and delicate brush strokes we slowly connect our inner breathing with the outer breath.
An open and calm inner and outer flow unfolds allowing this elusive sacred space to expand …
Can we feel this connection ? Can we feel in us this place of belonging. A coming home!
Next: steps to explore the edges and their interaction through colour and gesture.
Thank you 🙏
Namasta
This was an amazing video. What helps me face fear is to recognize that it is fear in the first place (the feeling of tightness in the chest, clutch in the belly), and then to try to breathe mindfully until I can calm down so I can wonder why fear is coming up. I do tend to respond with fight reactivity, and then retrieve to intense flight reactivity. So I face the fear by going towards it to the best of my ability before I react.
Not running or turning away from the fear, but to rather contemplate it and investigate it.
Reflecting/remembering times they’ve been courageous.
What helps me face fear is the willingness to work with it. I regularly see a spiritual director, write in my journal, dance my emotions. I also practice gentleness with myself. My centering prayer and yoga practices serve me in surrendering….
Spiritual teachers are very beneficial also!
Thank you for providing help Having lost my husband to sudden death and becoming very ill and in chronic physical pain three days later (during lockdown) I have become very hyper vigilant and frightened. I am so happy to have a lifeline. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
To remember what you fear is possibly an event that has already happened and to sit with that and let it pass, for the fear feeds on your inability to face something, and when you remember it, you realise that although it was bad the fear you had been carrying was so much worse.
Just being aware that I am caught up in a cycle of fear helps me face it. Reminding myself to pause & breath into it.
Trust and faith in God.
A feeling that thoughts are not as bad as they seem.
A confidence that things are going to work for the better.
Failure is not trying. Failing is experience.
The rewards of trying are bigger than the pain of failing.
I will use this resource
Sharing with those interested
in my senior living community-
Many Seniors have anxiety not only over Covid but economy and their health and health of others. We are a low income community, with this comes other adversities.
This season in life
Thank you immensely for this “free” assistance and tool
Thank you
I would love for someone to just tell me what to do, but that, of course, is unattainable! 🙂
The next best thing has been a therapist, medication, and embracing growth. The most influential people in my life alleviate some of my fears; they give me support, reassurance, trust, safety, acceptance, and love. Providing the same for them, or even for a stranger, reduces my fear that I have nothing of value to contribute.
I so appreciate the comments that others have posted! Things like take action, take care of the things that you have put off, that fear is impermanent, and turn to nature really resonated with me. Tangible things like education, creating a plan, and preparation help me with uncertainty.
I think the most meaningful thing I can do is tell myself that I am able to handle whatever happens in my life.
Good vibes for you all!
Previously done
Over the years I used,
Name it
Breathing into it
Being with it
Removing the shame associated with it by accepting it
I have also shared these with many of my clients (Vetran’s experiencing PTSD from war exposure or from MST), and for many these methods of increase awareness and acceptance have become a way home… as it has been for myself as well. Thank you 🙏🏽
Taking the time to calm my nervous system, breath deeply and then break the fear down into its components.
So I go from the emotional response to a more grounded reasoned response to the fear.
To have knowledge and to be conscious in the Now Moment! Take a deep breath!
Knowing that it’s worth it. Knowing they have support and are not alone when they face their fear.
My meditation practice helps me face fear and any other challenges. I’ve been meditating for over fifty years now, and am deeply grateful for this ever growing lifeline. In Song and Peace … Nina Umai
Michael Neill’s trainings have helped me tone down the fears to thoughts in my head, along with going into them and daily meditation.
Beverly Klein, Social Worker
meditating and believing in a higher power.
To name the fear helps
Thank you for the short but touching impulse!
I think I can more easily open towards fear when I understand that is “normal”. Hearing you describing the phenomenon as a common thing, I can relax into my selfcare, asking myself what I need in my state of being insecure instead of wondering why I feel shitty. Might have something to do with acceptance 🙂
Thank you your amazing presentation. They are so helpful.
Thanks very much for the video. It is beautifully presented. Clear, brief, calm and encouraging.And it directs one towards awareness of the ever-present Peace within.
I will use this in working with my patients, and I will include it in my own daily Spiritual practice.
Fear is a struggle with lack of control. A struggle to accept what is out of our control. Validating fear and reminding myself I’m doing the best I can do provides some peace. When there is fear outside of myself I try to be present with things or people I feel fear around. I try to listen and be compassionate. Sometimes I need space but I know I would benefit from facing the fear at some point.
The company of friends
Naming the fear feeling out loud. Imaginning it as a wave, which will pass along the top of the ocean of me. And putting my hand on my heart.
Prayer, meditation and having coffee and confiding with my 2 best friends. I also do yoga. Doing these things help me feel loved. When I feel loved then I can then look into myself and my feeling. Spending time with my family helps me feel more at ease when I have fear. Reading books such as, The Four Agreements helps me too.
Thank you so much Tara!
Your words are alway resonating with what I feel and what I’m searching for.
I am practicing Pause in the midst of turmoil of any degree .
Breathing and trusting that through it I will become again and again, in small portions, more aware of my inner observer, the limitless space that contains all.
I had a few days ago two consecutive concerts (I am a cellist ) the first time playing in public after the Pandemic ( All Beethoven String Trio’s)
Never felt such anxiety before a concert.
The first concert I was able to totally dive into this large space where music is in its element.
The second concert anxiety attacked me from the first note.
I have enough stage experience so that the audience doesn’t notice anything.
But for me it was a very difficult, long moment.
In the middle of a much demanding performance I had no way to pause long enough (although I have developed a way of working and teaching based on finding ‘resting notes’).
The abyss a musician falls into after such a not synchronized way of performing is deep.
Despite the fact that after the break the total oneness with the music and instrument were back, the sensations of the first part of the concert obscured it all.
A lifelong search for balance in life ,on stage , will not guarantee the certainty we so much long for.
Acceptance of such a moment needs to be called from very far away.
My Mantra
A….L.I.F.E.
If I have a problem…I am aware of it or any past triggers that trigger this fear….I then Live it, own it, name it, understand it, When I have identified it..I keep breathing and then really feel it emotionally, visually, verbally….then when my mind and body feel calm…I fill with warmth and light and erase it.
This helps me face my fears and my thoughts from being on repeat and the story each time it arrives, adding another made up chapter. When it arrives again I erase it as have already dealt with it.
Exploring the origin of the fear. Prayer, affirmations and breathing techniques. Mindfulness meditation.
Tuning in to my body with a body scan and then bringing loving kindness and self compassion to whatever appears. Other times I might recognise the symptoms of my fear and choose and activity that engages my senses in a calming and grounding way. For me that might be a walk in nature, watching the sun rise or set, playing a musical instrument, dancing or singing.
EFT
Deep Breathing mindfulness, positive affirmations, calming quiet space increased presence.
– awareness of fear
– awareness of things more important than fear in any particular circumstance (ability to be loving, generous, kind, patient etc.)
– prayer, remembrance of the sacred, that we won’t ever be able to control or understand everything
Another thing i do as a healing for “my” fear – – is breathing in Absolute, unconditional love; and on the exhale – sharing that with all of life.
I tend to laugh stuff off. I’m a big believer in quotes. One, the title of a song by Miles Davis, which I feel so strongly about I wouldn’t mind if it were etched in my headstone. “SO WHAT!”
I like that phrase because it reminds me of an experience of tremendous loss. I carried the pain 3/4 of my life and, to some extent, I still do.
The title of an album by John Cougar Mellencamp sums up another thought for me quite nicely: “Nothing matters….and what if it did?” I could have spared myself a lot of agonies if I had adopted those 2 philosophies 40 years ago.
Im so thankful for great music by artists like Miles. It’s tough when grief and fear disable us. It can stop us from being in the present moment. Our presence to all we experience is the present we can bring to ourselves. I agree it can help when we bring a playful laugh to ourselves too. Also a loving kindness and attitude of understanding that each moment we experience will pass can also be valuable. Best wishes on your journey.
Calm down, take a few deep breaths.
Find the facts
Evaluate worst case scenario
Dear Tara, what helps my clients face fear is to recognize the fear, name it “Oh it is fear rising,” breathe into it and let it pass with the breath work and knowing that all is well, there is no danger. Thank you Tara for this wonderful post.
One night I woke up with a lot of fear. A phrase came to me “all is as it should be”. I felt a wave of trust and warmth and fell back asleep.
I still forget to do this myself even though it helps me when I do…..and that’s saying Thank You anxiety, Thank You lonliness, Thank You not knowing, Thank You whatever the feeling is. And it’s something I also need to improve on and that’s thanking the good things that come up in my day. Peace.
Tara, thank you so much for your clarity and wisdom. I find vital to overcome fear, to approach it a bit at a time, to feel it through our awareness in our bodies and see how much or little we can take it within a safe space. I have helped my daughter to overcome many fears when she was little by an excellent book called “Growing Up Brave”. Now that she is a teen, I normalize her experience, letting her know that everyone feels fear. I help her to feel rooted in her soles, to look around to orient herself, to accept her fear and still have the bravery of facing the situation even if it means dipping her pinky toe at a time, trying to surprise herself into doing something different of what her brain is used to. Neuro-education I find is very important in this process.
I’m not sure how “facing my fear” as an immune compromised person during covid, would be helpful. It’s legitimate in my situation, but I do get tired of being hyper aware of everything and everyone around me because I choose to take precautions based on my situation but every time I walk out the door most people are crowding together in places and acting like there’s no covid when our area has full hospitals. Perhaps thiese videos are more for “irrational” fears when covid and natural disasters are real and something people are going through now.
I was lucky to know you, Tara, through a colleague/friend through your book Radical Acceptance. So now I am part of “your fan club.”
I work with clients who’ve suffered trauma and will share with them this simple explanation that, with the help of the visuals and the stories, makes it very clear the automatic responses they have when triggered.
I am very grateful for this….Thank you so much!
The next step for me is to incorporate mindfulness practice in my life.
Yes, calming for me is when I am inside nature and breath!
Access to an inner Loving Presence that normalizes the fear, offering words/images/music/gestures that expresses care, love, being okay, always available, never leaving.
Thank you Tara! You are a blessing to this world❣️
Staying with it in the quiet of my sitting practice. Noticing the sensations of it in my body when I’m at ease during sitting and when I’m not, during active life. The choice then becomes mine as to engage in ease or fear. It’s sometimes fearful ease but it is ease. And sometimes it’s more fear then ease but I know through experience, that with choice, I can release it and ease again predominates.
Thank you, Tara. This was perfect timing! I know now that I have let fear rule my life. Fear of the future, fear of letting people down, fear of making a mistake, fear of getting sick or running out of money…and now sometimes even fear of leaving my house this past year and a half. Most of these have no basis in reality, and yet I ruminate on them. It can sometimes take 2 guided meditations just to get out of bed in the morning. I am so glad I have found you. You have opened a door for me. In gratitude. JS
Calming myself through EFT tapping. Walking in nature.
Trying to be kind to myself, self soothing, placing my hand on my heart.
Taking action, even if it’s cleaning garage.
Taking care of tasks that have been put off.
These things reduce my anxiety
Exploring the issues behind the fears as well as reality checking. And mindfulness.
Thank you Tara❤️
As an art therapist I will have the client connect to their breathing. We do this together sitting quietly bringing awareness to our body and into the closed or tight areas. Can we release?
Now we bring a soft watercolor wash across the paper keeping it so faint … creating a feeling of out breath. Paying close attention to cover the whole paper with even and delicate brush strokes we slowly connect our inner breathing with the outer breath.
An open and calm inner and outer flow unfolds allowing this elusive sacred space to expand …
Can we feel this connection ? Can we feel in us this place of belonging. A coming home!
Next: steps to explore the edges and their interaction through colour and gesture.
Thank you 🙏
Namasta
I love this!