Hi 🙂
I think that each emotion has different levels of intensity. I summarize them in low, medium and high.
When I feel fear at a low level, I do mindful breathing exercises and meditation. When it is a medium level, I write about my inner experience, I practice guided meditatios, I practice RAIN tecnique, and do positive self-affirmations, along with breathing exercises. And when it is high, I go for a walk meditation in nature or any plan with a family member or friend to talk about my experience.
In the moments when I don´t feel fear, I train my mind to continue cultivating a better relationship with this and all emotions, promoting a relationship with them based on non-judgment and gratitude for protecting me, as natural mechanisms and process of my mind-body system.
Thanks.
Fear has been expressing itself in the form of chronic digestive problems, a chronic health issue; and I often think that I have no fear, while at the same time I am feeling defensive, and like some sort of mad woman, trying to throw the feelings that I believe you have caused right back at you and that somehow I will feel better for it. This of course doesn’t work because I haven’t recognized the fear and made enough space to sit with it and deal with me rather than the other person. I don’t live with people who are naturally unkind nor do I socialize with people of that elk generally. However it is in friendship, And with family that I often find it difficult to set a boundary that is healthy rather than simply expressing anger for what someone said without any sort of analysis on my part first.
I think I have to spend some time figuring out what makes me afraid. That will be an interesting first step and the self awareness will be a big first step. Thank you Tara!
right now I don’t know how to face my fear of being alone for the rest of my life and not finding a life partner. my fiancé just ended our relationship.
I know that being with a friend would ease the fear, but every friend is married and has her own life.
When I start to feel fear I want to isolate or hide until I’m past it and “ready” to interact with others but I have found that taking the opposite action and calling a friend or simply being among people helps the fear become accepted and dissipate. Something about allowing myself to be a part of this experience with others soothes my soul and the fear doesn’t escalate
Remembering just to listen and pay full attention to whoever is in front of me at the time. This focus takes all the energy and seems to just put the anxiety thoughts and feelings into the background
Doing a Fear exercise.
3 columns. 1. What do I fear? Write the answer. 2. Then write the fear as a “what if” sentence and complete. “What if _______, then _______ might happen.” i.e. What might happen if that fear comes true? 3. What would I do in response? Write the answer.
If the exercise leads to another fear, then make that the next fear in the first column and continue. Keep going until you have a plan.
Having a plan for a feared outcome (which may never come to pass) is very empowering, peace enhancing, and freeing.
It takes a lot of courage, and of course it’s not easy! But if I can I come to my breath, deepening and slowing. Then I pay attention to where I feel it in my body…it’s absolutely visceral…I’ll place a hand on the area where I feel it most. Next I try to bring kindness to this place/s…usually saying to myself a phrase like ‘it’s ok, I feel you’. Then allowing that to sink in. Sometimes I can’t connect like this though, so then I may use another technique like 3-3-3:
3 things I can see
3 things I can hear
3 things I can feel
This can be a useful way of ‘giving my mind something to do’ if I’m really finding it hard to ‘be with’ the fear.
Allison Miller, Stress Management, OAK GROVE, MN, USAsays
For myself, I noticed a fear of failing was keeping me from even trying new/scary things. Adopting a mantra of “never fail to fail,” and accepting that any failure is in fact pointing me closer and closer to my goal – has really helped. Love your words about being with the fear, and allowing it space, but regaining control. Thank you.
Trained as a CBT therapist I had a negative judgment toward practices that weren’t considered “evidence-based” – simple somatic or so-called reparenting techniques like placing a hand on the heart, or hands on your face, stroking your own hair. As I open myself up to these practices and foster my own willingness to engage in techniques I once wrote off as silly, I’m finding them incredibly powerful both for myself and my clients
For me, I face fear by one breath at a time. Taking one day at a time can be way too long. I also remind myself that I’ve been in fearful situations in the past and have gotten through them. I will be able to get through this present one as well.
Loren Lunt, Another Field, Farmington, UT, USAsays
I notice the sensations that come up in my body during stressful situations and I acknowledge them by saying, “I see you”. I try to remember that these sensations are my body telling me something important is happening that demands my presence. Then, I try to ask questions to make sure I understand in order to regulate reactivity.
By recognizing where it is in my body, feeling the vulnerability, allowing for a certain amount of acceptance and breathing. Being in nature supports me and also helps me to work through it as well as talking to someone I trust.
I don’t really face fear, and have never considered that I have a LOT of fear in the background noise of my life, until lately. My heart is pounding as I am typing this, but I don’t know why; and as I work with my therapist, I am uncovering so many “unfaced” issues…one is fear.
I do a lot of yoga and have begun a more predictable relationship with meditation.
So I’m excited, and feel EXTREMELY blessed to have stumbled onto this series. I’ll be 63 in a few weeks, and want to be on the path of “calm, grateful, wise granny” that I have said I wanted since I was 24, watching my mother be the exact opposite as she aged.
Thinking that fear is not real and acting accordingly. I mean that whatever the danger, risk etc that is causing my fear is just a product of my mind, a negative way I look at things.
This is how I fight fear: deconstructing it
Jason Scianno, Social Work, Huntersville, NC, USAsays
My first thought is doing Qigong on a daily basis. But as an Acceptance and Commitment Therapist, I often work on getting people to step back and look at themselves from the fly onto wall perspective while also thinking about how present their past is. How often have they had the fear, and when did start. Then we walk into it together, with mindfulness, breathing and Qigong.
Placing a hand gently, with a loving kindness where the fear is felt and simply saying it’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here, staying present.
Thank you for all your offerings🙏
My helpful mantra is:
My mind is clear, my heart is full, my body heals, my soul is free!
It releases something in my psyche that floods me with gratitude that I am alive and well no matter what is going on internally or externally.
Also, Mary Oliver’s poem, I go Down to the Sea, especially the last verse, “excuse me, I have work to do”!
Feeling confident in my own abilities, loving myself and others in spite of their apparent scariness, humour. Also focusing on what I’ve done well and knowing I’ve done as much as I can in any situation.
I go to your “Calling on Loving Presence” meditation which I find very calming and reassuring. I also sit and get used to the felt sense of fear arising in the body so that when I am in a fear evoking situation I recognise it quickly and am more able to calm myself. I find it helpful to soften the knees and sink the weight of the body down which makes me feel solid ” Softening… sinking……solid..”. I also made a short poem which I have memorised and find calming :
I am safe
I am secure
I am protected
I am surrounded by a field of love
I stand in this field
Bathing in the love of
All who cherish me
I rest here
Safe
Secure
Protected
I also bring to mind a phrase which I imagine my father saying to me:
“I’m here for you dear
I’ll always be here for you”
Thank you so much for your meditations and podcasts- I have benefited greatly from listening to them.
Yoga stretching, mantra and breath practices. Spiritual affirmations re the positive empowerment of Universal energy. Mindful awareness body relaxation techniques and meditational podcasts.
Facing fear – for me it usually comes in the shape of anxiety. I am learning to sit with it and breathe, trying to to learn to trust that I am okay, that I am loved and will be taken care of …. somehow. Staying with I’m okay and all will be well, eventually, helps.
Deborah Savitri, Student, San Francisco, CA, USAsays
Hi,
There are two main anchors for me when I face fear. One is my faith, I embrace myself and I achknowledge the love I know I have in and with my creator. The second is the knowledge of the fact that running is not an option, I must continue through the situtation and do the items I am here to do and do them now. In time, I will reach my goal and I will be over what ever it is I must get over.
Mindfulness – It seems when I stray from doing this daily, my anxiety and stress goes into overdrive. A friend introduced me to Tara and her teachings and while I learned her teachings, it eased all of that. Life got busy and I let it go as I felt I just didn’t have time, but miss it and it’s effects on my mind and body and need to get back to this practice of Mindfulness daily. We are all worth it! Thank you Tara!
Maybe being courageous? I have difficulty with anxiety. Worry about my children and grandchildren quite a bit.
I love to read stories where people are courageous, I think that helps me.
Thanks so much Tara. Appreciate your teaching.
Sally Taylor, Melbourne Australia.
– feel the fear in the body
-stay with it for a short while and breathe with it
– give it space and view it as a protector
– treat it as body guard against uncontrolled sorrows/traumas
– shift the view to the positive side while softening the breathing
– begin to relax and keep tender breath awareness
Talking about it, feeling it in the body, connecting with past experience where it might be rooted, double awareness past/ present reevaluating how dangerous new situation is considering old experience, taking a bit of risk to try sth new
Thank you Tara for putting words to my lack of fear control. Understanding this Fight, Flight, Freeze is important. I’m going to start feeling my fearless ❤ heart.
It is hard to stay with fear when nervous system is flooded with adrenaline or brain is dissociative but being aware and willing to tolerate discomfort of feeling threatened has enabled me not to react in habitual ways, to be more present.
Hi 🙂
I think that each emotion has different levels of intensity. I summarize them in low, medium and high.
When I feel fear at a low level, I do mindful breathing exercises and meditation. When it is a medium level, I write about my inner experience, I practice guided meditatios, I practice RAIN tecnique, and do positive self-affirmations, along with breathing exercises. And when it is high, I go for a walk meditation in nature or any plan with a family member or friend to talk about my experience.
In the moments when I don´t feel fear, I train my mind to continue cultivating a better relationship with this and all emotions, promoting a relationship with them based on non-judgment and gratitude for protecting me, as natural mechanisms and process of my mind-body system.
Thanks.
Fear has been expressing itself in the form of chronic digestive problems, a chronic health issue; and I often think that I have no fear, while at the same time I am feeling defensive, and like some sort of mad woman, trying to throw the feelings that I believe you have caused right back at you and that somehow I will feel better for it. This of course doesn’t work because I haven’t recognized the fear and made enough space to sit with it and deal with me rather than the other person. I don’t live with people who are naturally unkind nor do I socialize with people of that elk generally. However it is in friendship, And with family that I often find it difficult to set a boundary that is healthy rather than simply expressing anger for what someone said without any sort of analysis on my part first.
I think I have to spend some time figuring out what makes me afraid. That will be an interesting first step and the self awareness will be a big first step. Thank you Tara!
Meditation. Taking time to talk to a higher power every day about how I feel. Therapy.
Sometimes I just write what I’m sensing and feeling down rapidly on post-it notes to acknowledge it and give it space. It helps me stay present.
Thinking it through
Taking a few deep breath’s and relaxing shoulders. Try to be calm.
right now I don’t know how to face my fear of being alone for the rest of my life and not finding a life partner. my fiancé just ended our relationship.
I know that being with a friend would ease the fear, but every friend is married and has her own life.
Pay attention to my heartbeat and breath, try to slow it down, have a walk in nature and focus on what‘s surronding me with all senses…
When I start to feel fear I want to isolate or hide until I’m past it and “ready” to interact with others but I have found that taking the opposite action and calling a friend or simply being among people helps the fear become accepted and dissipate. Something about allowing myself to be a part of this experience with others soothes my soul and the fear doesn’t escalate
Taking a few slow deep breaths.
Thoughts about my beloved ones help me to face fear. Even for fear of death they gives me vitality.
Remembering just to listen and pay full attention to whoever is in front of me at the time. This focus takes all the energy and seems to just put the anxiety thoughts and feelings into the background
Meditation and walks in nature helps me to deal with it. 🙏🏽 Thanks
Clear and helpful, thank you
Doing a Fear exercise.
3 columns. 1. What do I fear? Write the answer. 2. Then write the fear as a “what if” sentence and complete. “What if _______, then _______ might happen.” i.e. What might happen if that fear comes true? 3. What would I do in response? Write the answer.
If the exercise leads to another fear, then make that the next fear in the first column and continue. Keep going until you have a plan.
Having a plan for a feared outcome (which may never come to pass) is very empowering, peace enhancing, and freeing.
Talking about it, helps see it the way it is.
It takes a lot of courage, and of course it’s not easy! But if I can I come to my breath, deepening and slowing. Then I pay attention to where I feel it in my body…it’s absolutely visceral…I’ll place a hand on the area where I feel it most. Next I try to bring kindness to this place/s…usually saying to myself a phrase like ‘it’s ok, I feel you’. Then allowing that to sink in. Sometimes I can’t connect like this though, so then I may use another technique like 3-3-3:
3 things I can see
3 things I can hear
3 things I can feel
This can be a useful way of ‘giving my mind something to do’ if I’m really finding it hard to ‘be with’ the fear.
For myself, I noticed a fear of failing was keeping me from even trying new/scary things. Adopting a mantra of “never fail to fail,” and accepting that any failure is in fact pointing me closer and closer to my goal – has really helped. Love your words about being with the fear, and allowing it space, but regaining control. Thank you.
I find that bringing myself back to the present moment helps, because usually my fears are about future events that have not yet occurred.
Trained as a CBT therapist I had a negative judgment toward practices that weren’t considered “evidence-based” – simple somatic or so-called reparenting techniques like placing a hand on the heart, or hands on your face, stroking your own hair. As I open myself up to these practices and foster my own willingness to engage in techniques I once wrote off as silly, I’m finding them incredibly powerful both for myself and my clients
For me, I face fear by one breath at a time. Taking one day at a time can be way too long. I also remind myself that I’ve been in fearful situations in the past and have gotten through them. I will be able to get through this present one as well.
Listening to Tara
I notice the sensations that come up in my body during stressful situations and I acknowledge them by saying, “I see you”. I try to remember that these sensations are my body telling me something important is happening that demands my presence. Then, I try to ask questions to make sure I understand in order to regulate reactivity.
By recognizing where it is in my body, feeling the vulnerability, allowing for a certain amount of acceptance and breathing. Being in nature supports me and also helps me to work through it as well as talking to someone I trust.
I don’t really face fear, and have never considered that I have a LOT of fear in the background noise of my life, until lately. My heart is pounding as I am typing this, but I don’t know why; and as I work with my therapist, I am uncovering so many “unfaced” issues…one is fear.
I do a lot of yoga and have begun a more predictable relationship with meditation.
So I’m excited, and feel EXTREMELY blessed to have stumbled onto this series. I’ll be 63 in a few weeks, and want to be on the path of “calm, grateful, wise granny” that I have said I wanted since I was 24, watching my mother be the exact opposite as she aged.
Thank you so much.
Thinking that fear is not real and acting accordingly. I mean that whatever the danger, risk etc that is causing my fear is just a product of my mind, a negative way I look at things.
This is how I fight fear: deconstructing it
Deep breathing and feeling into my body
My first thought is doing Qigong on a daily basis. But as an Acceptance and Commitment Therapist, I often work on getting people to step back and look at themselves from the fly onto wall perspective while also thinking about how present their past is. How often have they had the fear, and when did start. Then we walk into it together, with mindfulness, breathing and Qigong.
Sit down and feel my body.
It helps me to just feel it, recognize it, and also share my feeling with someone it trust and doesn´t judge me. Thank you!
Placing a hand gently, with a loving kindness where the fear is felt and simply saying it’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here, staying present.
Thank you for all your offerings🙏
To feel being centered, to feel the Earth under my feet, to sit or stand upright, to be connected with my breath which is my anchor…
Mindfulness and prayer.
TY Tara, you are such a great teacher!
My helpful mantra is:
My mind is clear, my heart is full, my body heals, my soul is free!
It releases something in my psyche that floods me with gratitude that I am alive and well no matter what is going on internally or externally.
Also, Mary Oliver’s poem, I go Down to the Sea, especially the last verse, “excuse me, I have work to do”!
Knowing and remembering that my Self is fearless, invincible.
Feeling confident in my own abilities, loving myself and others in spite of their apparent scariness, humour. Also focusing on what I’ve done well and knowing I’ve done as much as I can in any situation.
I go to your “Calling on Loving Presence” meditation which I find very calming and reassuring. I also sit and get used to the felt sense of fear arising in the body so that when I am in a fear evoking situation I recognise it quickly and am more able to calm myself. I find it helpful to soften the knees and sink the weight of the body down which makes me feel solid ” Softening… sinking……solid..”. I also made a short poem which I have memorised and find calming :
I am safe
I am secure
I am protected
I am surrounded by a field of love
I stand in this field
Bathing in the love of
All who cherish me
I rest here
Safe
Secure
Protected
I also bring to mind a phrase which I imagine my father saying to me:
“I’m here for you dear
I’ll always be here for you”
Thank you so much for your meditations and podcasts- I have benefited greatly from listening to them.
Kind wishes
Mairi
Moving from thought narrative to body experience. Knowing and discerning when anxiety/fear are helpful instincts and when they are energy drainers.
Yoga stretching, mantra and breath practices. Spiritual affirmations re the positive empowerment of Universal energy. Mindful awareness body relaxation techniques and meditational podcasts.
Facing fear – for me it usually comes in the shape of anxiety. I am learning to sit with it and breathe, trying to to learn to trust that I am okay, that I am loved and will be taken care of …. somehow. Staying with I’m okay and all will be well, eventually, helps.
Hi,
There are two main anchors for me when I face fear. One is my faith, I embrace myself and I achknowledge the love I know I have in and with my creator. The second is the knowledge of the fact that running is not an option, I must continue through the situtation and do the items I am here to do and do them now. In time, I will reach my goal and I will be over what ever it is I must get over.
Mindfulness – It seems when I stray from doing this daily, my anxiety and stress goes into overdrive. A friend introduced me to Tara and her teachings and while I learned her teachings, it eased all of that. Life got busy and I let it go as I felt I just didn’t have time, but miss it and it’s effects on my mind and body and need to get back to this practice of Mindfulness daily. We are all worth it! Thank you Tara!
Maybe being courageous? I have difficulty with anxiety. Worry about my children and grandchildren quite a bit.
I love to read stories where people are courageous, I think that helps me.
Thanks so much Tara. Appreciate your teaching.
Sally Taylor, Melbourne Australia.
– feel the fear in the body
-stay with it for a short while and breathe with it
– give it space and view it as a protector
– treat it as body guard against uncontrolled sorrows/traumas
– shift the view to the positive side while softening the breathing
– begin to relax and keep tender breath awareness
Believing that it will all come out alright in the end. That there is a higher purpose at work that wishes me to be the best that I can be.
Thank you Tara,
I found your talk very grounding, looking forward to the next offering!
Kind re,
Anne.
Talking about it, feeling it in the body, connecting with past experience where it might be rooted, double awareness past/ present reevaluating how dangerous new situation is considering old experience, taking a bit of risk to try sth new
Thank you Tara for putting words to my lack of fear control. Understanding this Fight, Flight, Freeze is important. I’m going to start feeling my fearless ❤ heart.
It is hard to stay with fear when nervous system is flooded with adrenaline or brain is dissociative but being aware and willing to tolerate discomfort of feeling threatened has enabled me not to react in habitual ways, to be more present.