Deborah Savitri, Student, San Francisco, CA, USAsays
I have noticed that when I find myself worrying I am usally avoiding something. I pull back and I think it through and I then set a time to do something towards the which will aid the situation.
Tara Brach is a light to all those who live in the dark shadow of fear and anxiety. She has helped me change my relationship with fear, and the anxiety that goes with it. Thank you for everything you do! May you all find light in the dark, and peace in your hearts. Namaste. 😁
Such a beautiful practice. The simplicity of the steps will be easily digestible to my clients. Always grateful to learn new ways to help myself and others shift back into the now. Thank you Tara.
Warmest thanks for these steps. I became mindful this morning in traffic, being late. First of all pausing to watch the thoughts, was a beautiful awakening, thereafter dropping attention into the body, and witnessing all the tension, felt liberating. Sending care to that part of myself was automatic. I am loving expanding the awareness.
Went through a 20 year period of extreme worry and foreboding when my son became mentally ill and aggressive,eventually i had to let go of it and trust in whatever outcome was happening,my body was becoming so ill from it all i new there was no other choice,worry does’nt change or help any situation we find fearful,it just makes it worse
My anxiety is mostly based on climate emergence and sometimes it’s an anxiety without content just feeling it in my body but no name to to it. And another worry when dealing with modern technology, feeling stupid when I can’t get it to work or not understand how it works. What helps is to tell myself “ I am sorry, I love you.
Yes, I must addicted to worrying.
I realise that now.
My husband always says, in the nicest possible way : ” what now ? Why do you, always, find something to worry about ?
That is saying.
This video is just wonderful.
It will be my daily practice from now on.
Thank you Tara
Theresa Gwynn, Other, Colorado Springs, CO, USAsays
There’s so many “wonderful” things to worry about these days :~) There’s lots of crazy. It’s great to step back and be aware of that and of my latching on to worries. Being aware and then bringing some aware “entity” of mine to stand with the worrier entity and offer comfort, sanity, safety, etc. = next steps.
My husband has Asperger’s and he has displayed some pretty bisar behaviors while out in public with me. I have now for years experienced high anxiety whenever we go out in public. I have secluded myself from participating in groups with him and I worry daily that he lacks any compassion for anyone.
Hallo Barbara from Wanda in Australia,
I don’t mean to trivialise your concerns about your husbands behaviour & of course the potential societal judgement or labelling that may result.
I know a little of Aspergers personality traits etc. What I do wish to uplift you with is that it is a disorder- not your husband intentionally being so.
If you can, release some worry through knowing what is causing the oddities, even speak up on behalf of your husband as this may educate others as well neutralise some of the negative ascertain made by others, also lessen your self consciousness & possible shame.
Love & Light Wanda
Past experiences causes apprehension or doubts about the future. Need to realize we’re not there anymore nor do we need we arrive at the same place again.
I think I used a false sense of being smart and powerful to cover up my fear and anxiety for a long time. Now that I have peeled away some of my life long coping mechanisms that served to cover up what was really going on inside, I’m acutely aware of how much fear and anxiety I really feel. (Perhaps, too, it’s part of getting older and feeling more vulnerable?) In any event, I’m drawn to being mindful, spending less time in fearful and anxious thought, and experiencing more the space, light, ease and joy that comes when fear and anxiety take a back seat. Much love to my fellow seekers.
I see the fear almost slightly removed. It is still unpleasant but telling myself these thoughts may be false seems to help.It seems to take the edge off and make them more bearable. Observing from a slight distance helps but not easy but i try. I hope this helps. x
Thank you for this insightful workshop about fear and worry. The short practice you offered here did actually reduce my physical and emotional feelings of worry. Because worry pops up so incessantly for me when I anticipate interacting with people socially or at work (because of a relentless fear of rejection), I need to repeat this exercise over and over — and maybe take a deeper dive into a longer meditation to cement the practice in my brain when fear and worry pop up continuously.
I realize that it is an habbit, droven by my anxiety not being good or good enough of make mistakes, judge people or do maybe other things to hurt them etc etc
In fact I doubt mezelf that I am a good and respomsible person (what in fact is asking from myself being perfect in a way, which I not am).
The addiction to worry keeps clients from experiencing joy and pleasure in their lives. They seek out numbing behaviours to reduce the worry, like substance use and other addictions.
I didn’t realise how addicted I was to worrying until I saw this. And specifically the self-doubt part. It doesn’t really help, in fact it prevents one from caring better about the things one is worrying about in the first place.
I grew up addicted to worry, so much so that it left a permanent frown in my face. It wasn’t until the death of my dad, that I began to meditate and noticed my thoughts as just that, thoughts, not true. It has taken a decade of practice to come to a better place and to be more aware of this moment. I realize now that I never felt safe since the moment I was born as a premature baby and taken away from my family for 22 days. I can now see anxiety for what is, allow myself to come stay in the present moment and envision a better, less-reactive me.
Jack Biwman, Psychology, East Setauket , NY, USAsays
The ability to bring the noticing part of the mind to what thoughts and feelings are coming up is so critical. I deeply appreciated how you described and guided the process of noticing attending to and then caring for these fearful thoughts.
You hit the nail on the head “easing self doubt”, it seems to have come back with a vengeance as we come out of covid or did I always have it?. “We are anxious about failing”, this is it!!!!!
My addiction to anxious thoughts keeps me from loving well. I appreciate learning this technique. I pray it helps. I want to leave be a fuller, happier life.
For me, addiction to worry is rooted in very old generational guilt about feeling joy! The message is “life is full of hardship, and not all about feeling joy and calm”. What is valued in my lineage is feeling and worrying about the world as a sign that we are serious and care about life and others. This just came to me now as I reflected on this question. Thanks Tara.
It freezes me. Can’t concentrate, drains all my energy. Always in a constant tension. Has been like that since childhood, but back then I had more energy so I was in constant doing. I guess that was the way of ignoring it.
Now, I feel drained all the time.
Vipassana has help. But because of Covid,I hadn’t have the opportunity to go back for almost 2 years. So mindfulness it’s kind of fading away
Worry cuts me off from myself, others and the Universe. I feel flawed and unloveable. Then I am isolated and then insulated by my worry. These steps offered bt Tara help me to be with myself mindfully and most important is the nurturing and reassuring self talk in the end. Thank you for all these reminders.
I can’t help but to worry, trying to leave an emotional, financial abuse situation. I worry every second, wondering what’s it looks like to be happy, to be free, to be a strong woman, like others. What’s it’s like on the other side of my worrying.
Thank you for this, very helpful!
Wonderful, wonderful talk Tara. You are helping me right now, thank you so much!!
I can see how worry can take over my life and I experience many of the symptoms you describe. Something that helps me to deal with worry is to try to let go, trust that everything is going to be alright, and to place my hand (or both hand) on my chest, like comforting myself. There a beautiful poem called ‘she let go’ by Safire Rose, which a friend shared with me months ago and that I find helps me to feel calm.
I tend to nurture my worries with stories. When a problem becomes impossible to solve, I add chapters to my worry novel… and it seems kind of fun to share, because I love storytelling… Until night comes, and I am awakened by my mental addiction to drama.
I also realise that I worry mostly about things that are not in my control, like the suffering of others.
In any case, regular meditation and keeping silent (especially in social media) helps me overcome this addiction.
Yes my addiction to worry is about what may happen to me physically in the future..not being able to walk..due to hip replacement and arthritis… I catastrophize this and yur 3 steps will help.
I fear being in a wheel chair and dependent on others so I need to scale this bk..leaves me not present and always trying to figure out a better way Exhausting…thankyou
I’ve has it too since very young, I’d get so anxious before a piano recital I begged off. I see my little girl needed a comforting presence to talk about feelings and enjoy me in the process
Christine Westra, Another Field, Wayne, NJ, USAsays
In my food addiction and growing up with food addiction I learned to snack my anxiety, fear, and worries away. I rationalized that I “deserved” and earned the right to indulge falsely thinking it was some kind of “treat” when in fact I was growing more and more obese and unhappy and living more and more in my head and less and less in the real world. I tried to stay very “busy” and pushed myself to be functional in spite of my sickness to mask the ever growing problem.
The more I retreated to food, the bleaker my life became, the more I retreated to food, in a vicious cycle …but in the 12 Step Programs I learned the 3 A’s. Awareness, Acceptance, Action. In Awareness, we focus on connecting with the true current state of body, mind, spirit. In Acceptance I abstain from judging, trying to deny or change my current state. Then I can take appropriate Action, verbalize my true state to allow my Higher Power and those around me to offer help – I release myself from the prison of my own mind and open myself to the abundance of life.
Raquel Wigginton, Teacher, St Johnsbury , VT, USAsays
Of course! I have been addicted to worrying ever since I was a small child playing the piano in front of my piano teacher! It is something that I have practiced and perfected and now I want to be able to find new ways of being with my fear.
I think we all share worry addiction at times. These times we live in is a good example of shared worry. It’s helpful to me to think about how I’m responding and offer care. Keeping myself quiet and curious.
At first my own family comes into my mind and strongly my mother’s addiction to worry, nourtured by deep feelings of regret and behind that a helplessness.
Worry becomes crippling. Therefore I work at being mindful of what I am worrying about and whether or not it is a true worry or whether it is taking the place of some other deeper feeling. Stopping the worry machine is difficult because it is ingrained, so it is a constant work in progress. Again being mindful and aware of my worrying is like a stop sign. Many times when I start to perseverate I stop and try to live in the present instead of living in the “what if” realm.
Robin Nelson, Physical Therapy, Tulsa, OK, USAsays
I associate addiction to worry with being addicted to crisis. Addicted to suffering…..
carly simon wrote, “suffering was the only thing made me feel I was alive. Thought that’s just what it cost to survive in this world”
Becoming aware that I don’t have to live in anxiety to experience life. I don’t have to pay the price of worry
to thrive and be worthwhile.
this is definitely a practice
does not come naturally just yet
Thank you Tara for your generosity to teach this to us. What anxiety is about and it’s link to the future and our perceived capacity, and how looping gains strength. I appreciate guidance for mindfully “deconditioning” it!
I have noticed that when I find myself worrying I am usally avoiding something. I pull back and I think it through and I then set a time to do something towards the which will aid the situation.
Tara Brach is a light to all those who live in the dark shadow of fear and anxiety. She has helped me change my relationship with fear, and the anxiety that goes with it. Thank you for everything you do! May you all find light in the dark, and peace in your hearts. Namaste. 😁
Such a beautiful practice. The simplicity of the steps will be easily digestible to my clients. Always grateful to learn new ways to help myself and others shift back into the now. Thank you Tara.
It would be great to see an info graphic of this process 😀
Over preparation and overplanning and pleasing others opinions. Get it perfect then ‘they’ won’t criticise. This does not work. So I fell a failure.
Worry sure is strangling. These simple steps are very effective and help me a great deal to return to the moment. Thankyou
Warmest thanks for these steps. I became mindful this morning in traffic, being late. First of all pausing to watch the thoughts, was a beautiful awakening, thereafter dropping attention into the body, and witnessing all the tension, felt liberating. Sending care to that part of myself was automatic. I am loving expanding the awareness.
Went through a 20 year period of extreme worry and foreboding when my son became mentally ill and aggressive,eventually i had to let go of it and trust in whatever outcome was happening,my body was becoming so ill from it all i new there was no other choice,worry does’nt change or help any situation we find fearful,it just makes it worse
My anxiety is mostly based on climate emergence and sometimes it’s an anxiety without content just feeling it in my body but no name to to it. And another worry when dealing with modern technology, feeling stupid when I can’t get it to work or not understand how it works. What helps is to tell myself “ I am sorry, I love you.
Yes, I must addicted to worrying.
I realise that now.
My husband always says, in the nicest possible way : ” what now ? Why do you, always, find something to worry about ?
That is saying.
This video is just wonderful.
It will be my daily practice from now on.
Thank you Tara
Over the last 2-3 years, I’ve developed a habit of pursing my lips and have been unable to undo this new habit.
So hard to free myself from climate anxiety. Anyone else?
Right here with you.
Yes, you’re not alone
There’s an area below my neck? My dissociative habits have left me estranged from my body for over 50 years!
There’s so many “wonderful” things to worry about these days :~) There’s lots of crazy. It’s great to step back and be aware of that and of my latching on to worries. Being aware and then bringing some aware “entity” of mine to stand with the worrier entity and offer comfort, sanity, safety, etc. = next steps.
My husband has Asperger’s and he has displayed some pretty bisar behaviors while out in public with me. I have now for years experienced high anxiety whenever we go out in public. I have secluded myself from participating in groups with him and I worry daily that he lacks any compassion for anyone.
Hallo Barbara from Wanda in Australia,
I don’t mean to trivialise your concerns about your husbands behaviour & of course the potential societal judgement or labelling that may result.
I know a little of Aspergers personality traits etc. What I do wish to uplift you with is that it is a disorder- not your husband intentionally being so.
If you can, release some worry through knowing what is causing the oddities, even speak up on behalf of your husband as this may educate others as well neutralise some of the negative ascertain made by others, also lessen your self consciousness & possible shame.
Love & Light Wanda
Deep Thanks for these practices:)
Bowing Backwards!
Being aware of posture, like hunched shoulders, helps my clients feel in control when they straighten up.
Past experiences causes apprehension or doubts about the future. Need to realize we’re not there anymore nor do we need we arrive at the same place again.
I think I used a false sense of being smart and powerful to cover up my fear and anxiety for a long time. Now that I have peeled away some of my life long coping mechanisms that served to cover up what was really going on inside, I’m acutely aware of how much fear and anxiety I really feel. (Perhaps, too, it’s part of getting older and feeling more vulnerable?) In any event, I’m drawn to being mindful, spending less time in fearful and anxious thought, and experiencing more the space, light, ease and joy that comes when fear and anxiety take a back seat. Much love to my fellow seekers.
I see the fear almost slightly removed. It is still unpleasant but telling myself these thoughts may be false seems to help.It seems to take the edge off and make them more bearable. Observing from a slight distance helps but not easy but i try. I hope this helps. x
Thank you for this insightful workshop about fear and worry. The short practice you offered here did actually reduce my physical and emotional feelings of worry. Because worry pops up so incessantly for me when I anticipate interacting with people socially or at work (because of a relentless fear of rejection), I need to repeat this exercise over and over — and maybe take a deeper dive into a longer meditation to cement the practice in my brain when fear and worry pop up continuously.
Embrace my worry like a baby as Thich Nhat Hanh says. Thanks Tara. Love the small exercise you provided.
I realize that it is an habbit, droven by my anxiety not being good or good enough of make mistakes, judge people or do maybe other things to hurt them etc etc
In fact I doubt mezelf that I am a good and respomsible person (what in fact is asking from myself being perfect in a way, which I not am).
The addiction to worry keeps clients from experiencing joy and pleasure in their lives. They seek out numbing behaviours to reduce the worry, like substance use and other addictions.
I didn’t realise how addicted I was to worrying until I saw this. And specifically the self-doubt part. It doesn’t really help, in fact it prevents one from caring better about the things one is worrying about in the first place.
So thank you Tara. So true. Very helpful.
I grew up addicted to worry, so much so that it left a permanent frown in my face. It wasn’t until the death of my dad, that I began to meditate and noticed my thoughts as just that, thoughts, not true. It has taken a decade of practice to come to a better place and to be more aware of this moment. I realize now that I never felt safe since the moment I was born as a premature baby and taken away from my family for 22 days. I can now see anxiety for what is, allow myself to come stay in the present moment and envision a better, less-reactive me.
The ability to bring the noticing part of the mind to what thoughts and feelings are coming up is so critical. I deeply appreciated how you described and guided the process of noticing attending to and then caring for these fearful thoughts.
I realize worry is a thought habit, which can be changed by regularly returning attention to the present moment. Meditation helps with that.
You hit the nail on the head “easing self doubt”, it seems to have come back with a vengeance as we come out of covid or did I always have it?. “We are anxious about failing”, this is it!!!!!
This is timely and relevant to every client I see.
A heartfelt “thank you,” Tara. I’m so grateful to you.
My addiction to anxious thoughts keeps me from loving well. I appreciate learning this technique. I pray it helps. I want to leave be a fuller, happier life.
This describes me to a tee!
For me, addiction to worry is rooted in very old generational guilt about feeling joy! The message is “life is full of hardship, and not all about feeling joy and calm”. What is valued in my lineage is feeling and worrying about the world as a sign that we are serious and care about life and others. This just came to me now as I reflected on this question. Thanks Tara.
It freezes me. Can’t concentrate, drains all my energy. Always in a constant tension. Has been like that since childhood, but back then I had more energy so I was in constant doing. I guess that was the way of ignoring it.
Now, I feel drained all the time.
Vipassana has help. But because of Covid,I hadn’t have the opportunity to go back for almost 2 years. So mindfulness it’s kind of fading away
Thank you as always for your words insights and meditations
Metta
Worry cuts me off from myself, others and the Universe. I feel flawed and unloveable. Then I am isolated and then insulated by my worry. These steps offered bt Tara help me to be with myself mindfully and most important is the nurturing and reassuring self talk in the end. Thank you for all these reminders.
I can’t help but to worry, trying to leave an emotional, financial abuse situation. I worry every second, wondering what’s it looks like to be happy, to be free, to be a strong woman, like others. What’s it’s like on the other side of my worrying.
Thank you for this, very helpful!
Wonderful, wonderful talk Tara. You are helping me right now, thank you so much!!
I can see how worry can take over my life and I experience many of the symptoms you describe. Something that helps me to deal with worry is to try to let go, trust that everything is going to be alright, and to place my hand (or both hand) on my chest, like comforting myself. There a beautiful poem called ‘she let go’ by Safire Rose, which a friend shared with me months ago and that I find helps me to feel calm.
My worrying affects me deeply on many levels. I feel unable to be happy, defeated and depleted of my energy. Often times,, I feel like an empty shell.
Addiction to worrying is the core of most therapy sessions
I tend to nurture my worries with stories. When a problem becomes impossible to solve, I add chapters to my worry novel… and it seems kind of fun to share, because I love storytelling… Until night comes, and I am awakened by my mental addiction to drama.
I also realise that I worry mostly about things that are not in my control, like the suffering of others.
In any case, regular meditation and keeping silent (especially in social media) helps me overcome this addiction.
Yes my addiction to worry is about what may happen to me physically in the future..not being able to walk..due to hip replacement and arthritis… I catastrophize this and yur 3 steps will help.
I fear being in a wheel chair and dependent on others so I need to scale this bk..leaves me not present and always trying to figure out a better way Exhausting…thankyou
I’ve has it too since very young, I’d get so anxious before a piano recital I begged off. I see my little girl needed a comforting presence to talk about feelings and enjoy me in the process
In my food addiction and growing up with food addiction I learned to snack my anxiety, fear, and worries away. I rationalized that I “deserved” and earned the right to indulge falsely thinking it was some kind of “treat” when in fact I was growing more and more obese and unhappy and living more and more in my head and less and less in the real world. I tried to stay very “busy” and pushed myself to be functional in spite of my sickness to mask the ever growing problem.
The more I retreated to food, the bleaker my life became, the more I retreated to food, in a vicious cycle …but in the 12 Step Programs I learned the 3 A’s. Awareness, Acceptance, Action. In Awareness, we focus on connecting with the true current state of body, mind, spirit. In Acceptance I abstain from judging, trying to deny or change my current state. Then I can take appropriate Action, verbalize my true state to allow my Higher Power and those around me to offer help – I release myself from the prison of my own mind and open myself to the abundance of life.
Of course! I have been addicted to worrying ever since I was a small child playing the piano in front of my piano teacher! It is something that I have practiced and perfected and now I want to be able to find new ways of being with my fear.
I think we all share worry addiction at times. These times we live in is a good example of shared worry. It’s helpful to me to think about how I’m responding and offer care. Keeping myself quiet and curious.
At first my own family comes into my mind and strongly my mother’s addiction to worry, nourtured by deep feelings of regret and behind that a helplessness.
Worry becomes crippling. Therefore I work at being mindful of what I am worrying about and whether or not it is a true worry or whether it is taking the place of some other deeper feeling. Stopping the worry machine is difficult because it is ingrained, so it is a constant work in progress. Again being mindful and aware of my worrying is like a stop sign. Many times when I start to perseverate I stop and try to live in the present instead of living in the “what if” realm.
I associate addiction to worry with being addicted to crisis. Addicted to suffering…..
carly simon wrote, “suffering was the only thing made me feel I was alive. Thought that’s just what it cost to survive in this world”
Becoming aware that I don’t have to live in anxiety to experience life. I don’t have to pay the price of worry
to thrive and be worthwhile.
this is definitely a practice
does not come naturally just yet
Thank you Tara for your generosity to teach this to us. What anxiety is about and it’s link to the future and our perceived capacity, and how looping gains strength. I appreciate guidance for mindfully “deconditioning” it!
For myself the addiction to worry takes away my peace, space and time to enjoy life more …i choose happiness, joy and peace now