I appreciate & respect the concept of mindfulness & that anxiety is worry displaced.
No one seems to broach that being mindful – in the present, aware of self & environment in fact are a profound trigger for the anxiety & worry.
And it’s anxiety of being alive in the present, the ongoing, the inability to merely accept, surrender, ignore not only what has been, but what actually is. It’s reality, not just mere perception or irrationality of actual life!
I do appreciate the insights & strategies- just get frustrated with the misconception or limitations in others understanding that ‘it’s not just in our head / our illusions ‘
Thankyou Wanda
‘ Lived Experience ‘ Australia
Thank you very much! This video was very insightful for me, particularly the overview of different types of worry forms. It made me realize that rehearsing and trying to figure out what is happening are my most prominent worry forms. That’s a great awareness I got from watching the video.
Dear Tara,
thank you so much for the fluidity of your words… they look like a healing nice river or symphon deep inside my body and mind… it touched directly my biology : I could feel it. And it made me smile inside. My issue is that this addiction to anxiety looks like the addiction to drugs, doesn’t it?
And some of my clients are also addict to their “talking psychotherapist”. (I’m a French sophrologist therapeute ; (similarité to mindful somatic emboded therapy). Some of my clients kind of deny the link to their body. Did you find a way of making them try an everyday practice when they’re alone? Or do you think it’s sometimes too late and we should stop trying to help them?? (I am a deep optimist person but wondering if for some people it’s better to understand they’re ok with their anxiety??)
Thank you if sbdy has time to answer and share.
All the best.
With great mindful compassion,
Catherine Coinçon
I suffered with worry addiction so much as a child – I recognise the meaning of being strangled by it. I am much better able to manage it now thank goodness. My particular family focus for worry seemed to be around money and achievement creating strong fears about being good enough which were crippling at times.
I suffer from worry addiction, particularly around health. Through so far 18 months of practice, I can catch my worry thoughts more quickly than I used to, also I can catch myself when I ruminate and day dream more quickly.
Once I’ve identified ‘thinking’, become aware of where it is in my body I say ‘ Unhelpful thought, disarm it, let it go and come back into the present’. I then visualise a safe place. It does become easier with practice but I’ve a long way to go yet. I’m so glad that Tara describes it as an addiction because that’s what it is.
Thank you for your clear explanation between anxiety and fear. I realized I suffer in vain and fight In vain without proper understanding of what anxiety is
I feel like i have missed so many years being stuck in my head worrying. I now have hope that this does not have to be my reality, that there is a way out, that the worry does not need to control my life anymore. The potency of mindfulness.
Thank you so much for your wisdom and advice. This talk is very useful. It provided an understading in the differences between fear and anxiety and a set of easy to follow steps to reduce anxiety. The strategy can help immencely in the person’s day to day coping.
Maria Fernanda de Terrein, Marriage/Family Therapy, MXsays
Hi Tara
This 2nd video is really true, I do have a client who is addicted to his anxeity tuoghts and he feels like he is growing so fast that life is going on with out noticing, so I am going to work this 3 steps with him, I gas so so much sense to me thst I am sure it will help us both a lot. Thank you 😉 really
As Tara mentioned the loop is very real it’s like digging a groove deeper and deeper and I I would hope to believe with practice that you can prevent your thoughts from jumping in and making the groove your automatic default.
Addiction to worry I believe is a habitual practice, where we train our brains to worry, about a certain event. This creates negative feedback loops, that keep on repeating. Each time we worry about x we cumulatively wire the anxiety in our brains.
After worry about something, usually my health, I say to myself I am okay, the problem has already been solved, all you have to do is relax into it. RELIEF! And be kind to yourself. And, yes, “Smile at Fear” teachings, have helped my worry busy mind. Thank you. Lyn
I try to leave in peace and not worry for anything, when i feel worry inmediatily a pray, and and feel much better i don´t have addiction to worry! thank you! so much for the messeges.
I don’t think of myself as being ‘addicted’ to generalized worry about what might happen, I’m pretty go with the flow that way, but I do get anxious/fearful about things that most likely will happen, and then worry….for example, having to confront someone about something that you know will not be received well, and there will be conflict, that’s when I get worried. However, I was fine with the exercise until you mentioned what we might want to hear….such as ‘It’s okay’….that made me feel real sad and teary, so I couldn’t finish the exercise properly!
Over worrying blocks the joy of the present moment. It blocks our ability to receive the goodness in life. I’ve been a big worrier most my life, although I pretend that I’m not. I see thought the impact and wish to lessen the anxiety in my life.
I am totally addicted to worrying and feeling anxious. Worries interrupt my sleep and are the first thing I face in the morning: which is my agenda today? which are my present worries?
(Thanks Tara for your wisdom!!)
I internalized our culture’s messages that a good mother worries obsessively about their children so I have struggled with loops of worry and anxiety for most of my adult life. I also grew up with a volatile parent and a bullying, abusive sibling so I developed hypervigilance as a coping mechanism and a way to keep myself safe and find stability. In one way, this is a strength, as I have developed a keen empathy and intuition for the feelings of others, but it also means emotional enmeshment with my emerging adult children and a subversion of my own needs in favor of the needs of others. I have learned to observe myself as a spectrum of selves – a past self, a future self, a present self. A wise self, a hurt self, a frightened self, a protective self, a critical self, a controlling self. I can connect with these various selves to help me relate to my emotions in a different way, so when I project worrying into the future, I connect to my future self and let them know that I trust them to handle whatever comes my way, and thank my past selves for having gotten me through other tough times. It is hard, as I am currently recuperating from a devastating injury and have a lot of worry about my pain and the success of my recovery. I place my hand on my heart and say, “we can do this. We can do this.”
Your post was so familiar as I share many of those worry moments. I find myself too involved with one of my children, which causes me tremendous worry and my anxiety goes through the roof. I need so much practice to learn that worry doesn’t lead to Soluctions. It’s just a substitute wish list. Thank you got sharing these concerns.
Worrying, anxiety, making up stories about what is going to unfold . . . challenging habits to break. And worth the time and effort. Thanks for your words.
Both my wife and I experienced ease after listening to you and the three steps. Anxiety is perhaps one of our biggest current issues.
Thank you so very much for taking the time and energy to provide this for us. We are deeply greatful!
HaZna and Frank
My addiction to worry culminated into suicidal thoughts and finally an attempt. I know now it will be a life long journey. I am 65. Anxiety is not a ‘young person’s disease.
Jason Scianno, Social Work, Huntersville, NC, USAsays
Agin, my first response when working with clients, and even myself is to look back and see if we can notice how present our past is. How long have we been acting this way, when did it start. And then walk into it from there.
When I constantly worry, I procrastinate. I have put off graduate school for years because I have used my time to worry instead. And an additional fear I have added to my worry is that I won’t have enough energy to do what I need to do.
Addiction to worry and self doubt has resulted in me living my life in sadness and loss of energy. I feel sad about my past and fearful of my future, so my present is spent trying to deal with what has already happened and stuff that I am afraid will happen, leaving me with little time and resources to deal with what actually is. It’s exhausting at times. I feel that I put so much effort into surviving today that I miss out on. What’s actually happening.
“And sadly, these anxious thoughts about the future directly compromise our enjoyment of what’s happening right here and now”
Pretty much sums it up.
My question is…do our thoughts contribute to the formation of the future? Taoists say “energy follows thoughts.” Tara explains how our thoughts create the future chemical state within our bodies.
If so, do we have the power to shift the future simply by shifting our thoughts? In fact, must we do this?
Instead of focusing on the ‘addictive’ aspect of the worry, perhaps we could reframe it in terms of being a ‘suprapower’. A power not “over” but “above and beyond.”
Could this inspire all those who consciously practice releasing our worry, that we are actively giving the “more beautiful future our heart knows is possible” space to arise. That we are in fact calling it into being.
Right now, I’m feeling stuck in the middle of (1) letting go of my worry (and enjoying the present moment) and (2) listening and being aware of the many interconnected crises on this planet and having genuine concern for the well being of both present & future generations.
Perhaps this quote sheds some light on the subject…
“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” Albert Einstein.
What was the thinking we used when we created these current crises?
Separation – dominance – subordinacy
Perhaps now we move to:
Interconnection – mutually enhancing collaboration
Addict and addiction are triggering for me. Upon learning of my cannabis use in my teenage years, my mother labeled me a drug addict. I’m 60 now, live far away and have broken ties with my family of origin. I’m healing slowly, with lots of help. I have always been an anxious, worrisome person. Sometimes I feel it’s inherited or in my DNA.
When I recognize I’m in a worry loop, I stop and breathe. The sooner I can reach that awareness, the sooner the fear thought is weakened. I’m in recovery, but not an addict.
R. Maltese, Another Field, New your city, NY, USAsays
I am really convinced that I inherited the anxiety from my mother, by means of genetics, mother’s milk or conditioning. Unfortunately it does feel like I pass it along to my son. I am gathering all my learnings about how to deal with anxiety and trying to teach my 1rth year old boy. Also, trying not to feel guilty for his anxiety. It’s a process…wishing lots of patience, love and wisdom to you and all of us in this journey.
Having experienced many hard times, a lot of my hypervigilence comes from fear of loss, but yes, my fear of failing to prevent the impending loss. Addiction is a good word for it because I may by now need the chemicals produced by anxiety to just feel normal. So what will I lose when I stop being anxious?
Like some one else sayd, watching Covid news was at some point a clear example of addiction to worry. You have to follow the wise voice in you that says, this is not helpful, I have to watch less news. Most of my loved ones are fine at this moment, I have to give more attention to that fact an not to the possibility of something bad coming their way. I have the responsibility to not keep on feeding my fear. I might not be able to control fear when scary things happen, but I am able to not keep on feeding it by exposing myself to more and more news.
Whatever word you choose, habitual, conditioned, addictive, all point to the same mind body pattern. The pain/mind/body looping is in all of us and discovering the tools for our progressive liberation is for me vital. The third step thought that brings comfort to me is that when that loop surfaces Instead of resisting it, I see it as incentive to become more aware. To feel gratitude for the loop as it serves this purpose. That gets me out of resistance and anxiety. There are days that I do that better, and other days not so much.
I am so grateful for this video because it really helped me to see that at the root of all of the worries I have, is this fear of failure. Sometimes it takes different shapes but it always comes down to that.
For the person whose suggestion to not use the word addiction, you made me think about your point and perhaps because I liked the use of deconditioning later in the talk, maybe the word conditioning would be better, that we condition ourselves to the habit of worrying.
Watching News causes addiction to worry during these Covid Times, I notice this everywhere around me. I had a client looking all the time, in minutes, at the latest news and Covid numbers released, she really got addicted to fear and danger, her mind-body-looping accelerated like cracy and so did her heartrate, so I gave her the homework to stop this mechanism, and to delete her worry apps. She did, and this was the starting point for her to be able to become mindful and become aware of her physical reactions and to discover the fearful child within herself. Learning that now there is no need for her to be so overprotective and anxious 24/7, and to trust more and more her own, now based instinct.
Thank you, this is an incredibly timely and useful video. I am a student (at 52), and my experience with anxiety stretches all the way back to my childhood. I grew up as the youngest of 3 hearing children (and only girl) to 2 deaf parents. There were many reasons to be hyper vigilant, living with poverty, emotional scarcity, and my mother dying when I was 13 being the most significant. I never really thought of myself as “addicted” to the worry that I’ve lived with my whole life, but this information and practice helps me to see why that might very well be true for me.
Again, thank you.
C.Peterson
I see the word ‘addiction’ used here as useful for me because in my mind it illuminates the connection between what happens to us neurologically when we are addicted to a behavior. Just as tech addiction shows the same levels of atrophy in the prefrontal cortex as some forms of chemical addiction, I can see that the habit of mind I experience as having the same detrimental effects to my health in the physical, mental and relational aspects of my life.
I don’t agree the word “addition” is helpful regarding chronic anxiety. It’s more client shaming and blaming. Drop that word and I think the teaching could really help. But for people who lived with people with true addiction and spent their life avoiding drugs and alcohol don’t need to be told their an addict anyways… just for having anxiety! The word “anxiety “ might alert readers but it’s not helpful. Quite triggering actually. Very sad with this CBT style blaming of the client.
*They”re (autocorrect) I appreciate what Tara is trying to say and I love her dedication to trying to help. I just personally don’t like attaching “addiction” to an already difficult situation. But everyone is different and different words or concepts trigger traumatized people differently. Some people may enjoy being called addicts just for dealing with anxiety after trauma. (Ok I’m still upset) ha ha. Many blessings and kindest regards
Thank you Tara, I so appreciate your work. I am drawn to the simplicity and the inherent kindness I felt in your sharing. As a Feldenkrais practitioner sharing Awareness Through Movement(R) classes with my students, I feel supported by the concept…”Less is more,” opening up deeper listening and a softening.
Something I strive for.
I find that in your work. Blessings.
I have come to realise that I have “adopted” fears and worries from my father (and no doubt my mother too) This knowledge doesn’t take away that they pop up, however I do recognise them as not mine. Probably whispering this to myself would help.
Sharing worries and talking things through helps. Especially someone who is a counsellor and can do empathic listening. I feel it’s hard todo this with family members especially children even when adults as become emotionally involved and not able to stay calm enough to help solve/resolve things effectively.Viciius circles can develop if don’t help others they react and effectively both develop more anxiety.
At the time of listenning, my children, my family and coutrymen are having their lives ended or destroyed.
I have watched as those destroying our world have moved towards an all too evident genocide.
I have seen this coming for many decades and see myself as was Ulyses who founded himself brooding as to what he should do, in service towards the protection of his people.
I know that before long, a war will visit these shores, against an old enemy that is being imported and whose participants have a deadly intent.
To ignore such threats and refuse to see these dangers by focusing not on preoaring for me atleast, is to disrespect my mother, my mother, my children and wider family and contemplate my self rather than ready myself for what comes.
You’re facing such a difficult situation! I feel for you! Where do you live? I will do all I can for you which is pray.
You are exactly right, at a time of crisis you MUST think and solve problems. It is at that moment when genius awakes and you will be directed. Worry is considering problems of the future where the access to genius is denied because it’s premature. The result is the potential situations feel hopeless.
While I can appreciate the value of thinking briefly how I might handle an upcoming situation or what aspects might occur in the future, I can see that perseveration on that is detrimental. Think about it and then let it go, knowing that I am able to handle what comes my way. Breathe breathe breathe.
Growing up I had the sense I needed to protect myself and my siblings. I was always in alert mode to be ready to jump into rescue mode. Anxiety was ever-present even in what seemed as good or safe times. Now I know that is the root of my anxiety now: Be prepared for the dangerous times. Knowing that I am no longer in dangerous times is beginning to sink in; I am safe and I can only do so much to keep everyone else safe. That helps, but I am still a work in progress.
Tara is helping me understand the past need for anxiety and to realize I can let it go now. Thank you.
I appreciate & respect the concept of mindfulness & that anxiety is worry displaced.
No one seems to broach that being mindful – in the present, aware of self & environment in fact are a profound trigger for the anxiety & worry.
And it’s anxiety of being alive in the present, the ongoing, the inability to merely accept, surrender, ignore not only what has been, but what actually is. It’s reality, not just mere perception or irrationality of actual life!
I do appreciate the insights & strategies- just get frustrated with the misconception or limitations in others understanding that ‘it’s not just in our head / our illusions ‘
Thankyou Wanda
‘ Lived Experience ‘ Australia
Thank you very much! This video was very insightful for me, particularly the overview of different types of worry forms. It made me realize that rehearsing and trying to figure out what is happening are my most prominent worry forms. That’s a great awareness I got from watching the video.
Dear Tara,
thank you so much for the fluidity of your words… they look like a healing nice river or symphon deep inside my body and mind… it touched directly my biology : I could feel it. And it made me smile inside. My issue is that this addiction to anxiety looks like the addiction to drugs, doesn’t it?
And some of my clients are also addict to their “talking psychotherapist”. (I’m a French sophrologist therapeute ; (similarité to mindful somatic emboded therapy). Some of my clients kind of deny the link to their body. Did you find a way of making them try an everyday practice when they’re alone? Or do you think it’s sometimes too late and we should stop trying to help them?? (I am a deep optimist person but wondering if for some people it’s better to understand they’re ok with their anxiety??)
Thank you if sbdy has time to answer and share.
All the best.
With great mindful compassion,
Catherine Coinçon
I suffered with worry addiction so much as a child – I recognise the meaning of being strangled by it. I am much better able to manage it now thank goodness. My particular family focus for worry seemed to be around money and achievement creating strong fears about being good enough which were crippling at times.
I suffer from worry addiction, particularly around health. Through so far 18 months of practice, I can catch my worry thoughts more quickly than I used to, also I can catch myself when I ruminate and day dream more quickly.
Once I’ve identified ‘thinking’, become aware of where it is in my body I say ‘ Unhelpful thought, disarm it, let it go and come back into the present’. I then visualise a safe place. It does become easier with practice but I’ve a long way to go yet. I’m so glad that Tara describes it as an addiction because that’s what it is.
Thank you for giving practical ways of handling anxiety. I will try the steps.
Thank you for your clear explanation between anxiety and fear. I realized I suffer in vain and fight In vain without proper understanding of what anxiety is
I feel like i have missed so many years being stuck in my head worrying. I now have hope that this does not have to be my reality, that there is a way out, that the worry does not need to control my life anymore. The potency of mindfulness.
Dear Tara
Thank you so much for your wisdom and advice. This talk is very useful. It provided an understading in the differences between fear and anxiety and a set of easy to follow steps to reduce anxiety. The strategy can help immencely in the person’s day to day coping.
Hi Tara
This 2nd video is really true, I do have a client who is addicted to his anxeity tuoghts and he feels like he is growing so fast that life is going on with out noticing, so I am going to work this 3 steps with him, I gas so so much sense to me thst I am sure it will help us both a lot. Thank you 😉 really
As Tara mentioned the loop is very real it’s like digging a groove deeper and deeper and I I would hope to believe with practice that you can prevent your thoughts from jumping in and making the groove your automatic default.
Addiction to worry I believe is a habitual practice, where we train our brains to worry, about a certain event. This creates negative feedback loops, that keep on repeating. Each time we worry about x we cumulatively wire the anxiety in our brains.
After worry about something, usually my health, I say to myself I am okay, the problem has already been solved, all you have to do is relax into it. RELIEF! And be kind to yourself. And, yes, “Smile at Fear” teachings, have helped my worry busy mind. Thank you. Lyn
I can’t sleep. I can’t digest. I get terrible acid reflux. I am miserable in body and mind.
I wonder if this 3 steps works with psychosis thoughts challenges aybe caused by chronic anxiousness and repeatitive traumatic events .
I try to leave in peace and not worry for anything, when i feel worry inmediatily a pray, and and feel much better i don´t have addiction to worry! thank you! so much for the messeges.
I don’t think of myself as being ‘addicted’ to generalized worry about what might happen, I’m pretty go with the flow that way, but I do get anxious/fearful about things that most likely will happen, and then worry….for example, having to confront someone about something that you know will not be received well, and there will be conflict, that’s when I get worried. However, I was fine with the exercise until you mentioned what we might want to hear….such as ‘It’s okay’….that made me feel real sad and teary, so I couldn’t finish the exercise properly!
Unawareness of repeating pervasive thoughts sets me up
Over worrying blocks the joy of the present moment. It blocks our ability to receive the goodness in life. I’ve been a big worrier most my life, although I pretend that I’m not. I see thought the impact and wish to lessen the anxiety in my life.
Thank you Tara for sharing a calming moment to share in future with others
I am totally addicted to worrying and feeling anxious. Worries interrupt my sleep and are the first thing I face in the morning: which is my agenda today? which are my present worries?
(Thanks Tara for your wisdom!!)
Wow, the comment about how dealing with fear releases huge stores of trapped energy was so powerful.
This was helpful..
Looking forward to future webinsrs
I internalized our culture’s messages that a good mother worries obsessively about their children so I have struggled with loops of worry and anxiety for most of my adult life. I also grew up with a volatile parent and a bullying, abusive sibling so I developed hypervigilance as a coping mechanism and a way to keep myself safe and find stability. In one way, this is a strength, as I have developed a keen empathy and intuition for the feelings of others, but it also means emotional enmeshment with my emerging adult children and a subversion of my own needs in favor of the needs of others. I have learned to observe myself as a spectrum of selves – a past self, a future self, a present self. A wise self, a hurt self, a frightened self, a protective self, a critical self, a controlling self. I can connect with these various selves to help me relate to my emotions in a different way, so when I project worrying into the future, I connect to my future self and let them know that I trust them to handle whatever comes my way, and thank my past selves for having gotten me through other tough times. It is hard, as I am currently recuperating from a devastating injury and have a lot of worry about my pain and the success of my recovery. I place my hand on my heart and say, “we can do this. We can do this.”
Your post was so familiar as I share many of those worry moments. I find myself too involved with one of my children, which causes me tremendous worry and my anxiety goes through the roof. I need so much practice to learn that worry doesn’t lead to Soluctions. It’s just a substitute wish list. Thank you got sharing these concerns.
Thank you for your comment, very inspiring.
Worrying, anxiety, making up stories about what is going to unfold . . . challenging habits to break. And worth the time and effort. Thanks for your words.
Both my wife and I experienced ease after listening to you and the three steps. Anxiety is perhaps one of our biggest current issues.
Thank you so very much for taking the time and energy to provide this for us. We are deeply greatful!
HaZna and Frank
My addiction to worry culminated into suicidal thoughts and finally an attempt. I know now it will be a life long journey. I am 65. Anxiety is not a ‘young person’s disease.
Amazing!! I am so grateful for this approach and simplifying all of this so that I actually know what I can do. Thank you from all my heart!
Agin, my first response when working with clients, and even myself is to look back and see if we can notice how present our past is. How long have we been acting this way, when did it start. And then walk into it from there.
Excellent information. Thank you.
It makes life so much smaller and more limited. The joy feels ‘squeezed out’ and difficult to even sense at all sometimes.
When I constantly worry, I procrastinate. I have put off graduate school for years because I have used my time to worry instead. And an additional fear I have added to my worry is that I won’t have enough energy to do what I need to do.
Addiction to worry and self doubt has resulted in me living my life in sadness and loss of energy. I feel sad about my past and fearful of my future, so my present is spent trying to deal with what has already happened and stuff that I am afraid will happen, leaving me with little time and resources to deal with what actually is. It’s exhausting at times. I feel that I put so much effort into surviving today that I miss out on. What’s actually happening.
“And sadly, these anxious thoughts about the future directly compromise our enjoyment of what’s happening right here and now”
Pretty much sums it up.
My question is…do our thoughts contribute to the formation of the future? Taoists say “energy follows thoughts.” Tara explains how our thoughts create the future chemical state within our bodies.
If so, do we have the power to shift the future simply by shifting our thoughts? In fact, must we do this?
Instead of focusing on the ‘addictive’ aspect of the worry, perhaps we could reframe it in terms of being a ‘suprapower’. A power not “over” but “above and beyond.”
Could this inspire all those who consciously practice releasing our worry, that we are actively giving the “more beautiful future our heart knows is possible” space to arise. That we are in fact calling it into being.
Right now, I’m feeling stuck in the middle of (1) letting go of my worry (and enjoying the present moment) and (2) listening and being aware of the many interconnected crises on this planet and having genuine concern for the well being of both present & future generations.
Perhaps this quote sheds some light on the subject…
“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” Albert Einstein.
What was the thinking we used when we created these current crises?
Separation – dominance – subordinacy
Perhaps now we move to:
Interconnection – mutually enhancing collaboration
Thanks for reading these morning thoughts.
Respectfully Yours
Addict and addiction are triggering for me. Upon learning of my cannabis use in my teenage years, my mother labeled me a drug addict. I’m 60 now, live far away and have broken ties with my family of origin. I’m healing slowly, with lots of help. I have always been an anxious, worrisome person. Sometimes I feel it’s inherited or in my DNA.
When I recognize I’m in a worry loop, I stop and breathe. The sooner I can reach that awareness, the sooner the fear thought is weakened. I’m in recovery, but not an addict.
Without worry, I’d be free.
Gratitude for these courses and all you do.
I am really convinced that I inherited the anxiety from my mother, by means of genetics, mother’s milk or conditioning. Unfortunately it does feel like I pass it along to my son. I am gathering all my learnings about how to deal with anxiety and trying to teach my 1rth year old boy. Also, trying not to feel guilty for his anxiety. It’s a process…wishing lots of patience, love and wisdom to you and all of us in this journey.
Having experienced many hard times, a lot of my hypervigilence comes from fear of loss, but yes, my fear of failing to prevent the impending loss. Addiction is a good word for it because I may by now need the chemicals produced by anxiety to just feel normal. So what will I lose when I stop being anxious?
Like some one else sayd, watching Covid news was at some point a clear example of addiction to worry. You have to follow the wise voice in you that says, this is not helpful, I have to watch less news. Most of my loved ones are fine at this moment, I have to give more attention to that fact an not to the possibility of something bad coming their way. I have the responsibility to not keep on feeding my fear. I might not be able to control fear when scary things happen, but I am able to not keep on feeding it by exposing myself to more and more news.
Whatever word you choose, habitual, conditioned, addictive, all point to the same mind body pattern. The pain/mind/body looping is in all of us and discovering the tools for our progressive liberation is for me vital. The third step thought that brings comfort to me is that when that loop surfaces Instead of resisting it, I see it as incentive to become more aware. To feel gratitude for the loop as it serves this purpose. That gets me out of resistance and anxiety. There are days that I do that better, and other days not so much.
I am so grateful for this video because it really helped me to see that at the root of all of the worries I have, is this fear of failure. Sometimes it takes different shapes but it always comes down to that.
For the person whose suggestion to not use the word addiction, you made me think about your point and perhaps because I liked the use of deconditioning later in the talk, maybe the word conditioning would be better, that we condition ourselves to the habit of worrying.
Watching News causes addiction to worry during these Covid Times, I notice this everywhere around me. I had a client looking all the time, in minutes, at the latest news and Covid numbers released, she really got addicted to fear and danger, her mind-body-looping accelerated like cracy and so did her heartrate, so I gave her the homework to stop this mechanism, and to delete her worry apps. She did, and this was the starting point for her to be able to become mindful and become aware of her physical reactions and to discover the fearful child within herself. Learning that now there is no need for her to be so overprotective and anxious 24/7, and to trust more and more her own, now based instinct.
Thank you, this is an incredibly timely and useful video. I am a student (at 52), and my experience with anxiety stretches all the way back to my childhood. I grew up as the youngest of 3 hearing children (and only girl) to 2 deaf parents. There were many reasons to be hyper vigilant, living with poverty, emotional scarcity, and my mother dying when I was 13 being the most significant. I never really thought of myself as “addicted” to the worry that I’ve lived with my whole life, but this information and practice helps me to see why that might very well be true for me.
Again, thank you.
C.Peterson
I see the word ‘addiction’ used here as useful for me because in my mind it illuminates the connection between what happens to us neurologically when we are addicted to a behavior. Just as tech addiction shows the same levels of atrophy in the prefrontal cortex as some forms of chemical addiction, I can see that the habit of mind I experience as having the same detrimental effects to my health in the physical, mental and relational aspects of my life.
I liked the use of the word deconditioning. This made a lot of sense and the 3 processes are easy to practise so well done.
I don’t agree the word “addition” is helpful regarding chronic anxiety. It’s more client shaming and blaming. Drop that word and I think the teaching could really help. But for people who lived with people with true addiction and spent their life avoiding drugs and alcohol don’t need to be told their an addict anyways… just for having anxiety! The word “anxiety “ might alert readers but it’s not helpful. Quite triggering actually. Very sad with this CBT style blaming of the client.
*They”re (autocorrect) I appreciate what Tara is trying to say and I love her dedication to trying to help. I just personally don’t like attaching “addiction” to an already difficult situation. But everyone is different and different words or concepts trigger traumatized people differently. Some people may enjoy being called addicts just for dealing with anxiety after trauma. (Ok I’m still upset) ha ha. Many blessings and kindest regards
Thank you Tara, I so appreciate your work. I am drawn to the simplicity and the inherent kindness I felt in your sharing. As a Feldenkrais practitioner sharing Awareness Through Movement(R) classes with my students, I feel supported by the concept…”Less is more,” opening up deeper listening and a softening.
Something I strive for.
I find that in your work. Blessings.
I have come to realise that I have “adopted” fears and worries from my father (and no doubt my mother too) This knowledge doesn’t take away that they pop up, however I do recognise them as not mine. Probably whispering this to myself would help.
after whispering you could try giving it back in love , then there is love and honour for all of you
Sharing worries and talking things through helps. Especially someone who is a counsellor and can do empathic listening. I feel it’s hard todo this with family members especially children even when adults as become emotionally involved and not able to stay calm enough to help solve/resolve things effectively.Viciius circles can develop if don’t help others they react and effectively both develop more anxiety.
At the time of listenning, my children, my family and coutrymen are having their lives ended or destroyed.
I have watched as those destroying our world have moved towards an all too evident genocide.
I have seen this coming for many decades and see myself as was Ulyses who founded himself brooding as to what he should do, in service towards the protection of his people.
I know that before long, a war will visit these shores, against an old enemy that is being imported and whose participants have a deadly intent.
To ignore such threats and refuse to see these dangers by focusing not on preoaring for me atleast, is to disrespect my mother, my mother, my children and wider family and contemplate my self rather than ready myself for what comes.
You’re facing such a difficult situation! I feel for you! Where do you live? I will do all I can for you which is pray.
You are exactly right, at a time of crisis you MUST think and solve problems. It is at that moment when genius awakes and you will be directed. Worry is considering problems of the future where the access to genius is denied because it’s premature. The result is the potential situations feel hopeless.
While I can appreciate the value of thinking briefly how I might handle an upcoming situation or what aspects might occur in the future, I can see that perseveration on that is detrimental. Think about it and then let it go, knowing that I am able to handle what comes my way. Breathe breathe breathe.
Growing up I had the sense I needed to protect myself and my siblings. I was always in alert mode to be ready to jump into rescue mode. Anxiety was ever-present even in what seemed as good or safe times. Now I know that is the root of my anxiety now: Be prepared for the dangerous times. Knowing that I am no longer in dangerous times is beginning to sink in; I am safe and I can only do so much to keep everyone else safe. That helps, but I am still a work in progress.
Tara is helping me understand the past need for anxiety and to realize I can let it go now. Thank you.