Thank you very much Tara and nicabm for this educational space. This information is very important. Thank you for sharing it and allowing an open discussion about it.
In my personal experience, the most difficult situations I have experienced are related to a physical illness, which I have had to face from a very young age. As a result of some episodes of physical pain and symptoms that sometimes limited me, I developed a series of thoughts of fear of experiencing these episodes of discomfort in my body again. Sometimes I observe cascades of thoughts of self-demand and anticipation about my health, an excessive internal narrative that has gradually diminished with my personal transformation process, which has included mental training through meditation and bibliotherapy with magnificent information such as books. of Tara.
I consider that the difference between a healthy anticipation and an unhealthy one lies in the level of fusion with the thought, that is, it is different to assume an anticipatory thought as a probability than as a totally real event. The mind throws us hypothetical situations in key information for our decision making and as we develop more the skill of consciousness, we can have more agency over the use of those thoughts in our favor and that of others. It could be said that these thoughts play a very favorable role in preventing any situation. Some may have realistic elements, but others definitely do not.
Finally, I consider that everything is about balance, perhaps I prefer the term “excessive worry”, I feel that the simplicity in the language and using only the necessary psychopathological terms, helps to create a more friendly and compassionate atmosphere. For me, the word addiction has a negative emotional charge and generates a pleasant and intentional sense, with respect to worry. And I think that our natural impulse is always to seek our own benefit and that of others.
Thank you very much for this opportunity to learn how to break the fear loop. It is hard to leave with anxious feeling most of the time, with negative thoughts going around the nind.
Thank you for creating this workshop. You bring so much light, love and knowledge through your teachings.
From my experience there is nothing more disempowering than anxiety. It’s like being trapped by an invisible web made of negative inner dialogue and fear. Fighting this trap takes all our energy that normally could be spent on crafting the life we want. “One step at a time“ approach helps to get out of the trap and experience peace of mind,
but once we’re free of anxiety we start being afraid of feeling this way again. Insane, right?
I believe it is our choice what to think so why not for a change substitute the negative self talk with positive one. See what will happen, and try to laugh at the grumpy, negative you that’s fighting your positive self-talk.Your anxious state of mind is a real party-pooper and you might want to choose not to be hanging out together anymore😅
I’ve been playing music all of my life, and had brought me so much joy until I finished my master’s degree. I suddenly felt so anxious and worried constantly about whether I was good enough for the music industry, that I never ended up trying. That extends out into my social life too.
Mostly i worry about the future. Making plans, feeling scared. Also i worry about my partner, who is in a very difficult life situation. I worry and want to help him but i don‘t know how.
My addiction to worry can really stifle progress with work and relationships creating a feeling of low self worth, leaving me feeling vulnerable and reactionary when there really is no need.
Since my son was born with Down Syndrome 16 years ago, i find myself in a constant state of vigilance and worry that has generalised to worrying about pretty much everything and my physical health has suffered as a consequence.
Worry is quite chronic for me especially social anxiety since the pandemic. It’s really helpful have a simple three step approach to remind myself what to do to help break the cycle. I imagine I would share this with clients too.
Thank you Tara. I have been in an anxiety/fear loop particularly in the last two years. I did not realise that my physiological responses to all this fear and anxiety is an addiction. Your approach and tips ‘arrived’ at the right moment for me.
My addiction to worry came after my divorce and as I stepped into reinventing myself for the last third of my life.
Things that I hadn’t to concerned myself with became flooding in faster than I could learn to manage.
The trauma of my life piled up on my divorce
leaving me paralyzed by worry for the future.
It became a ruminating cycle that I was unable to self regulate in order to move forward.
Co-regulation and self-regulation with the breath and getting into my body was the first step out of that cycle.
I seem always to find something to worry about, no matter how big or small. Sometimes I even find myself worrying about something that is a year or more in the future. The good thing is, over the years I have spent practicing mindfulness, this has eased. I notice the worry thoughts more readily now and can usually produce self-talk that is more rational and helps get them back in perspective. Meditation helps a lot too.
Chronic worry has been a constant all my life (almost 70 years). I’ve been studying self help/spiritual resources for most of my adult years. Now, understanding that childhood trauma is probably at the root of the anxiety. My dad died unexpectedly when I was 10 years. Though I’m sure much of my learning helped me cope over the years, I’m still trying to conquer i!
Your guiding, soothing voice, Tara , is a huge help! Grateful for you!💗
I have been addicted to worry for years. Always worrying about my adult daughter and my elderly mother, who are both doing fine. I worry about them getting in an accident or somehow getting ill or injured, and I even imagine detailed scenarios of things happening to them, and how their life (and mine) will change after these imagined events occur. I catch myself doing this and say to myself “stop it, everything is ok!” Then I take some deep breaths and try to relax my stomach. I like to listen to your audiobook when I’m falling asleep…Radical Compassion ❤
My worries have kept me from following a career path which requires upgrading my credentials. Each time I think I can do it, I worry so much about failing or not being able to complete the program that I drop out so I’ve been stuck in a career that I want to grow in but can’t get myself there.
It’s relatively constant, which I am just lately realizing. I thought it was normal (I couldn’t raelly discern it – I think it started to be discernible when I stopped drinking about a year ago.)
I have had insomnia for a long time and take sleep medication. The worry surrounds not falling asleep without sleep medication and worrying about how I will feel the next day.
It’s true, worry is an addiction, and I hadn’t thought of it in quite that way. Thank you. I will try those three steps, especially in the middle of the night.
I appreciate watching this presentation for the simple steps particularly for clients who are trapped in anxious thoughts and have difficulty with focusing on the feeling in their body. Combining this with the practice of Self Havening Touch will be helpful.
Thank You Tara
That was a great short presentation with powerful, clear messages. I like how Tara defined and separated anxiety and fear with clear steps to manage them. Incorporating Mark Twain’s quote was also an effective message. Thanks!
My father, was a huge worry wart. From the time Vito Genovese- the God Father- bought me an Easter bunny, to the time my brother was kicked out of Yale: so my dad had him removed before the poop could hit the fan.
I seemed I was a bit like him, but was happy with mindfulness to ultimately bring peace to my heart. But now I’m suffering from some unknown health problems, and I have to admit, dying is not in my wheelhouse, if that’s the case. I just moved, and have no one to turn to.
I have been dealing with hyper vigilance for as long as I can remember. It’s gotten really bad with the years. Now in my fifties, it seems like there is so much cause for worry on a daily basis. I refuse to take any medication for anxiety because I don’t want to numb myself. I want to stay “in control”. I often say that what makes my situation really difficult is that I live alone and have no network of family or friends. Consequently, no one to actually speak to and reframe self-destructive thoughts that constantly cross my mind. Sometimes, it is so bad that I can’t even calm down while trying to meditate. At times, I have wanted to unplug from this life but I hand in there. Somewhere deep inside of me must be a park of hope for a better life. Thank you for work. I read a little every evening from your book True Refuge and have been listening to your Wednesday Mediations/talks since I discovered them. I hope that one day I will start living instead of barely surviving.
Hi Chantal from Wanda Australia
I have just recently come on to I/net, don’t know if you have the on line support networks as are here.
I am regional and isolated, not only due to location but that I don’t seem to be embraced or fit in – so yes , as you say without others to interact or have discourse with to release or reframe what’s in ‘mind, body & soul’ – it’s just a hamster wheel.
I came across a great private safe network years ago – SANE.org
Good luck 🐸. ‘Lived Experience’
Worry has deteriorated into needlessly hiding from the spotlight for many years. It is a long journey back, allowing myself to share my gifts to the world and work shamelessly to help others, particularly my family and dearest ones.
Thank you, Tara. These 3 steps are simple and transformative. May we always remember to pause and open our hearts to such deep freedom.
Thank you Tara I’ve been caught in a major Ant process recently and could not find anyway to shift my brain out of it… Distractions were not helping or treating the underlying cause. I had forgotten my basic mindfulness training this really broke the cycle.
Thank you Tara. I am a trained teacher In MBCT and MSC and totally get what you say. Working in acute mental health, I often encounter many patients who because of their worry patterns become depressed and are literally stuck In the freeze zone or panic loop as a response to perceived threats. Some emerge out of it and rebuild some sense of normality until the next perceived threat; some have issues with the notion of mindfulness , some because of physical pain, are not ready to explore and be curious of how the mind affects the body. As for me, am aware of my thinking loop patterns when worry hits and the practice of RAIN + soften soothe and allow helps loosen the grip. With grateful heart to you for your teachings.
Paola
If I didn’t have the intense, paralyzing anxiety I experience sometimes I would be my highest self, the best possible version of myself.
Thank you Tara
Loren Lunt, Another Field, Farmington, UT, USAsays
I frequently got to worst case scenarios, I catastrophize fretting that a problem is unmanageable or impossible. I’m really comfortable with the feeling of melancholy, which helps me connect with others on the productive end, and it sends me down rabbitholes of hopelessness on the unproductive end. I struggle with moral self judgment for expressing “negative” feelings, which creates shame. I prefer not to use addiction in this context; rather, I use the term habit. As such, I’m a habitual worrier.
Personally, I remember when I realized the spinning out into anxiety seemed to be happening out of habit. That was big. The realization of habit helped take some power out of the story.
I see it with people I work with whose anxiety is manifesting as voice disorder or delaying their rehabilitation. And it has been increasingly pronounced with covid and fires to the point where it is a common theme with most people I work with.
For the past year and a half, I’ve lived in a constant state of worry about my Mom possibly getting Covid and dying. Before that, I worried about other things. Tara, you have helped me to realize that I’m robbing myself of the present moment. I will try the exercise you modeled. Thank you!
This session hit like a lightning bolt. I see that I have the belief that if I’m not constantly worrying about my daughter’s health then something terrible may happen and I will have missed signs to prevent it. Your message that I could be capable of caring for her without being anxious 24/7 gives me a lot to ponder. ❤️
Definitely! I heard that anxiety is “needless worry!” How much time I waste! The key might be finding ways to give myself comfort!! Finding the right words….etc! Thanks Tara!
They say God is in the detail. That’s what Tara addresses; the detail needed to address fear and anxiety. I admire her ability to hone every step of the way. She’s a true teacher in this respect. It’s not just words and more words, an intellectual need from the unrecognised self. I’ve tried her methods and they work over time. I actually went to the dentist yesterday and was almost at peace with the visit. So it works over time without you realising it. Thank you Tara.
Wendy Carter, Social Work, Colorado Springs, CO, USAsays
Spot on. Worry is like the new saber tooth tiger that is chasing us and lurking at every corner. It seems to rob people of the ability to just be present in the moment.
Thank you for the peace this 3 step practice can help bring.
Thank you very much Tara and nicabm for this educational space. This information is very important. Thank you for sharing it and allowing an open discussion about it.
In my personal experience, the most difficult situations I have experienced are related to a physical illness, which I have had to face from a very young age. As a result of some episodes of physical pain and symptoms that sometimes limited me, I developed a series of thoughts of fear of experiencing these episodes of discomfort in my body again. Sometimes I observe cascades of thoughts of self-demand and anticipation about my health, an excessive internal narrative that has gradually diminished with my personal transformation process, which has included mental training through meditation and bibliotherapy with magnificent information such as books. of Tara.
I consider that the difference between a healthy anticipation and an unhealthy one lies in the level of fusion with the thought, that is, it is different to assume an anticipatory thought as a probability than as a totally real event. The mind throws us hypothetical situations in key information for our decision making and as we develop more the skill of consciousness, we can have more agency over the use of those thoughts in our favor and that of others. It could be said that these thoughts play a very favorable role in preventing any situation. Some may have realistic elements, but others definitely do not.
Finally, I consider that everything is about balance, perhaps I prefer the term “excessive worry”, I feel that the simplicity in the language and using only the necessary psychopathological terms, helps to create a more friendly and compassionate atmosphere. For me, the word addiction has a negative emotional charge and generates a pleasant and intentional sense, with respect to worry. And I think that our natural impulse is always to seek our own benefit and that of others.
Thanks.
Kind regards.
Thank you very much for this opportunity to learn how to break the fear loop. It is hard to leave with anxious feeling most of the time, with negative thoughts going around the nind.
Thank you for creating this workshop. You bring so much light, love and knowledge through your teachings.
From my experience there is nothing more disempowering than anxiety. It’s like being trapped by an invisible web made of negative inner dialogue and fear. Fighting this trap takes all our energy that normally could be spent on crafting the life we want. “One step at a time“ approach helps to get out of the trap and experience peace of mind,
but once we’re free of anxiety we start being afraid of feeling this way again. Insane, right?
I believe it is our choice what to think so why not for a change substitute the negative self talk with positive one. See what will happen, and try to laugh at the grumpy, negative you that’s fighting your positive self-talk.Your anxious state of mind is a real party-pooper and you might want to choose not to be hanging out together anymore😅
I’ve been playing music all of my life, and had brought me so much joy until I finished my master’s degree. I suddenly felt so anxious and worried constantly about whether I was good enough for the music industry, that I never ended up trying. That extends out into my social life too.
Very stressful, crippling, energy sucking doesn’t allow to do anything different from routine, even if you like it.
physiological-insomnia and gert
Mostly i worry about the future. Making plans, feeling scared. Also i worry about my partner, who is in a very difficult life situation. I worry and want to help him but i don‘t know how.
Oh, gosh. It’s constant and debilitating. Mostly revolves around the well-being of my loved ones. Where they are, if they’re happy, if they’re safe…
My addiction to worry can really stifle progress with work and relationships creating a feeling of low self worth, leaving me feeling vulnerable and reactionary when there really is no need.
Since my son was born with Down Syndrome 16 years ago, i find myself in a constant state of vigilance and worry that has generalised to worrying about pretty much everything and my physical health has suffered as a consequence.
I wouldn’t say i’m addicted to worry but i have one recurring worry…
Worry is quite chronic for me especially social anxiety since the pandemic. It’s really helpful have a simple three step approach to remind myself what to do to help break the cycle. I imagine I would share this with clients too.
For myself I feel the apprehension of taking risks so therefore feel I miss the juice of life’s flow and creativity
Thank you Tara. I have been in an anxiety/fear loop particularly in the last two years. I did not realise that my physiological responses to all this fear and anxiety is an addiction. Your approach and tips ‘arrived’ at the right moment for me.
Thank you Tara. I found this very healing.
My addiction to worry came after my divorce and as I stepped into reinventing myself for the last third of my life.
Things that I hadn’t to concerned myself with became flooding in faster than I could learn to manage.
The trauma of my life piled up on my divorce
leaving me paralyzed by worry for the future.
It became a ruminating cycle that I was unable to self regulate in order to move forward.
Co-regulation and self-regulation with the breath and getting into my body was the first step out of that cycle.
I seem always to find something to worry about, no matter how big or small. Sometimes I even find myself worrying about something that is a year or more in the future. The good thing is, over the years I have spent practicing mindfulness, this has eased. I notice the worry thoughts more readily now and can usually produce self-talk that is more rational and helps get them back in perspective. Meditation helps a lot too.
Chronic worry has been a constant all my life (almost 70 years). I’ve been studying self help/spiritual resources for most of my adult years. Now, understanding that childhood trauma is probably at the root of the anxiety. My dad died unexpectedly when I was 10 years. Though I’m sure much of my learning helped me cope over the years, I’m still trying to conquer i!
Your guiding, soothing voice, Tara , is a huge help! Grateful for you!💗
I have been addicted to worry for years. Always worrying about my adult daughter and my elderly mother, who are both doing fine. I worry about them getting in an accident or somehow getting ill or injured, and I even imagine detailed scenarios of things happening to them, and how their life (and mine) will change after these imagined events occur. I catch myself doing this and say to myself “stop it, everything is ok!” Then I take some deep breaths and try to relax my stomach. I like to listen to your audiobook when I’m falling asleep…Radical Compassion ❤
My worries have kept me from following a career path which requires upgrading my credentials. Each time I think I can do it, I worry so much about failing or not being able to complete the program that I drop out so I’ve been stuck in a career that I want to grow in but can’t get myself there.
It’s relatively constant, which I am just lately realizing. I thought it was normal (I couldn’t raelly discern it – I think it started to be discernible when I stopped drinking about a year ago.)
Worry Addiction is such an exhausting way to live. Also having people around you who have this also is hard to not be caught in with them.
I struggle with constant thoughts of “am I good enough?”. I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop and cannot enjoy myself when things go well.
I have had insomnia for a long time and take sleep medication. The worry surrounds not falling asleep without sleep medication and worrying about how I will feel the next day.
It’s true, worry is an addiction, and I hadn’t thought of it in quite that way. Thank you. I will try those three steps, especially in the middle of the night.
I appreciate watching this presentation for the simple steps particularly for clients who are trapped in anxious thoughts and have difficulty with focusing on the feeling in their body. Combining this with the practice of Self Havening Touch will be helpful.
Thank You Tara
My name is Mike D and I’ve been in recovery from alcohol and substancessince for almost 34 years and I struggle with anxiety depression daily
That was a great short presentation with powerful, clear messages. I like how Tara defined and separated anxiety and fear with clear steps to manage them. Incorporating Mark Twain’s quote was also an effective message. Thanks!
I am constantly anxious. I see how it is affecting my health and taking away from peace of mind and desperately want to think differently.
My father, was a huge worry wart. From the time Vito Genovese- the God Father- bought me an Easter bunny, to the time my brother was kicked out of Yale: so my dad had him removed before the poop could hit the fan.
I seemed I was a bit like him, but was happy with mindfulness to ultimately bring peace to my heart. But now I’m suffering from some unknown health problems, and I have to admit, dying is not in my wheelhouse, if that’s the case. I just moved, and have no one to turn to.
I have been dealing with hyper vigilance for as long as I can remember. It’s gotten really bad with the years. Now in my fifties, it seems like there is so much cause for worry on a daily basis. I refuse to take any medication for anxiety because I don’t want to numb myself. I want to stay “in control”. I often say that what makes my situation really difficult is that I live alone and have no network of family or friends. Consequently, no one to actually speak to and reframe self-destructive thoughts that constantly cross my mind. Sometimes, it is so bad that I can’t even calm down while trying to meditate. At times, I have wanted to unplug from this life but I hand in there. Somewhere deep inside of me must be a park of hope for a better life. Thank you for work. I read a little every evening from your book True Refuge and have been listening to your Wednesday Mediations/talks since I discovered them. I hope that one day I will start living instead of barely surviving.
Hi Chantal from Wanda Australia
I have just recently come on to I/net, don’t know if you have the on line support networks as are here.
I am regional and isolated, not only due to location but that I don’t seem to be embraced or fit in – so yes , as you say without others to interact or have discourse with to release or reframe what’s in ‘mind, body & soul’ – it’s just a hamster wheel.
I came across a great private safe network years ago – SANE.org
Good luck 🐸. ‘Lived Experience’
Worry has deteriorated into needlessly hiding from the spotlight for many years. It is a long journey back, allowing myself to share my gifts to the world and work shamelessly to help others, particularly my family and dearest ones.
Thank you, Tara. These 3 steps are simple and transformative. May we always remember to pause and open our hearts to such deep freedom.
Thank you Tara I’ve been caught in a major Ant process recently and could not find anyway to shift my brain out of it… Distractions were not helping or treating the underlying cause. I had forgotten my basic mindfulness training this really broke the cycle.
Thank you Tara. I am a trained teacher In MBCT and MSC and totally get what you say. Working in acute mental health, I often encounter many patients who because of their worry patterns become depressed and are literally stuck In the freeze zone or panic loop as a response to perceived threats. Some emerge out of it and rebuild some sense of normality until the next perceived threat; some have issues with the notion of mindfulness , some because of physical pain, are not ready to explore and be curious of how the mind affects the body. As for me, am aware of my thinking loop patterns when worry hits and the practice of RAIN + soften soothe and allow helps loosen the grip. With grateful heart to you for your teachings.
Paola
If I didn’t have the intense, paralyzing anxiety I experience sometimes I would be my highest self, the best possible version of myself.
Thank you Tara
Very nice. Thank you, Tara.
Great video. So needed in our present times!
I frequently got to worst case scenarios, I catastrophize fretting that a problem is unmanageable or impossible. I’m really comfortable with the feeling of melancholy, which helps me connect with others on the productive end, and it sends me down rabbitholes of hopelessness on the unproductive end. I struggle with moral self judgment for expressing “negative” feelings, which creates shame. I prefer not to use addiction in this context; rather, I use the term habit. As such, I’m a habitual worrier.
Thank you Tara!
Personally, I remember when I realized the spinning out into anxiety seemed to be happening out of habit. That was big. The realization of habit helped take some power out of the story.
I see it with people I work with whose anxiety is manifesting as voice disorder or delaying their rehabilitation. And it has been increasingly pronounced with covid and fires to the point where it is a common theme with most people I work with.
For the past year and a half, I’ve lived in a constant state of worry about my Mom possibly getting Covid and dying. Before that, I worried about other things. Tara, you have helped me to realize that I’m robbing myself of the present moment. I will try the exercise you modeled. Thank you!
Technology constantly keeps me anxious, to the point that I give up trying to fight through the unknown.
Living in hyper vigilance mode makes life difficult to handle.
This session hit like a lightning bolt. I see that I have the belief that if I’m not constantly worrying about my daughter’s health then something terrible may happen and I will have missed signs to prevent it. Your message that I could be capable of caring for her without being anxious 24/7 gives me a lot to ponder. ❤️
Thank you.
Definitely! I heard that anxiety is “needless worry!” How much time I waste! The key might be finding ways to give myself comfort!! Finding the right words….etc! Thanks Tara!
They say God is in the detail. That’s what Tara addresses; the detail needed to address fear and anxiety. I admire her ability to hone every step of the way. She’s a true teacher in this respect. It’s not just words and more words, an intellectual need from the unrecognised self. I’ve tried her methods and they work over time. I actually went to the dentist yesterday and was almost at peace with the visit. So it works over time without you realising it. Thank you Tara.
Thank you, Tara, as ever a fund of comfort and common sense…… there is a remarkable absence of common sense in the world today!
Spot on. Worry is like the new saber tooth tiger that is chasing us and lurking at every corner. It seems to rob people of the ability to just be present in the moment.