Concern for others more than myself. Their lack of self care is the worry issues. Being a nurse seems to have this on my mind because I have seen the results in the ICU for years.
My addiction to fear started in infancy and has grown as I have grown into adulthood-bigger fears. More fear. I know I am addicted to fear and then I can be a victim, which I am also addicted to.
I worry about everything…it keeps me up at night… I have even been stressed out from my dreams worrying. I have to tell myself that it is not real. I put myself down and judge myself constantly. I think that everyone is against me I don’t trust not even my children. I don’t want to be like this any more. Thank you doing this. thank you
Thoughts and feelings of self-doubt and fear of failure are things I’ve struggled with for a long time. I’ve learned to identify them, but allowing and staying present with them is difficult. It’s easier to seek comfort from temporary pleasures and or distraction.
I am becoming aware of the fact that it has to do with my inner critical voice. It is trying to protect me like when I was a child but I start to realize it’s not helping me anymore. It’s making things worse. Becoming aware of this helps me to try to create space gor my higher self.
I noticed the voice giving comfort in the third part was very optimistic and said “we’ll find help, we’ll figure it out, remember the fun parts, it’s gunna be great too!” –which sounds a lot like overcoming negativity bias. I have started a ‘good stuff’ diary which I try to write down a few lines about the best part of the day to help me remember to focus more on the positives. You can see how a worry habit can take over, like the more needy child or sibling, and the quiet, well-behaved part of our lives gets forgotten about. Some random things in my Good Stuff Notebook: ‘new sparkly boots; Council began repairs on the footpath for Enid (my elderly neighbour); made spicy fish soup for lunch; my daughter teaching me ‘Google stuff’; my son telling me his school subject selection and it being okay’. Thanks Tara for being such a HUGE part of my life these last three years. I live in Australia.
Karen Kubrin, Social Work, Sebastopol, CA, USAsays
I have suffered from generalized anxiety for years. It usually takes hold sometime in the very early morning. I am not aware of any particular worry at that time but then thoughts come racing in. I do breath and tell myself everything will be OK but have not had much success. I also over prepare and think ahead to possible problems. I thought that was a good trait but maybe not. Some of it is fear of failure. I will do what you suggest and see what happens.
I never made the connection that my planning mind is really a manifestation of my fear, but it is. It’s judgemental and harsh, and it always assumes I will fail. It’s energy is frenetic and impersonal, like an unwanted visitor rummaging through my home.
Hi Tara
I have often seen in my clients due to generalized anxiety the ‘strangling’ of the individual’s wonderful but untapped potential. I found your presentation most helpful and thank you so much.
My experience, has been that addiction to worry becomes something we forget and live with. Not realising what a constant and silent erosion it leads, from within. Tx for the three tips. I’ll be adding it to my anti-worry armour 🙂
Worrying can more easily take over regularly if the body’s biochemistry or bio-functionality is not in balance. A lack of certain nutrients for example weakens the nervous system’s balanced sensitivity.
I find, in the end,it becomes incapacitating, the abilility to heal, to see ourselves and others contracts instead of expands and we therefore become lonelier and increasingly sad. Our capacity for togetherness, within ourselves(mind, body spirit) and with others diminishes.
Some of the best advice I’ve ever gotten, which in turn gets the best response when I share it with others, is the idea to put 5 min of worrying onto your calendar, go for it and then when done, move on!
It takes time out of my life, feel stressed, pressured and note body is tight, tense. There is an obsessive quality so repetition eliminates reasonable ‘thinking’. It becomes circular and without room to form minor solutions. With guidance I know it is possible to pause, to still and to ground and interrupt the madness of the frightening, no exit perception.
I suffer from severe health anxiety and the fear of missing a serious symptom and being told off for being so stupid at having neglected the signs. It stems from this treatment by a consultant 40 years ago!
I am spoiling the quality of my present life by living in fear and this video has definitely given me something to think about and try.
I think that I spend a great deal of my life being anxious about everything. I live alone. I’m getting older and less capable. I don’t know if my financial resources will be enough to take care of me. I’m anxious about losing my ability to decide things for myself. I have been used to having a partner in my life. My wife passed away five years ago. I am anxious I will never find another Intimate friend. So I need a lot of work. I am grateful for the help that you have given me so far.
Judy Melinat, Another Field, Minnetonka , MN, USAsays
I worry that my daughter will get discouraged and give up. I worry that my husband will die. I worry that I will be left alone. I worry that I will forget to keep up with my responsibilities. I worry about sharing my opinions. And I can see how these preoccupations lessen my curiosity, joy, and sense of connection
Thank you Tara, for this wonderful sharing. I am only recently recognizing the depth of my anxiety. Looking forward to hearing more and opening more to my anxiety.
Hi Tara- thank you. My addiction to worrying stems from hypervigilance and feelings of inadequacy due to childhood trauma. At 30 years old I am finally able to utilize awareness to see my victim and persecution complex- I live in fear in most areas of my life. I think the work to stop my “worrying addiction” must also be coupled with you radical acceptance (of myself as I am.) I can’t help but wonder though- I agree with some of my judgmental thoughts- that I can be and do better. How do I reconcile that with the practice of radical acceptance- the desire to accept myself as I am but also change and grow into a person healed from trauma.
My 13 year old daughter and I are both cancer survivors. As a result of our experiences – and those of countless friends who have been and are currently dealing with a cancer diagnosis – when I experience a new physical sensation, especially one that is uncomfortable or lingering or unknown, my mind goes immediately to worry of a new cancer diagnosis. The narrative spins out of control, highjacks my thoughts and ramps up my anxiety. I have never been a “worrier”, nor would I describe myself as a “worry addict”, so this experience feels totally foreign. It’s helpful to pay attention to the role my mind plays in the cycle.
What do you do when it’s ALL real?
It’s not just a thought. It’s really happening.
How do you deal, cope with it without detaching.
The fear is real. My son was just incarcerated & doesn’t know what happened to him emotionally & mentally, his wife moved in with someone 2 weeks after he went to jail, my granddaughters one Grandma is abusive to her & my husband recently passed away from ALS.
I’m addicted to worry and found this video to describe my feelings and thoughts so accurately that for a moment I thought you were reading my mind. I did the exercise and realized my anxiety stems from my fear of not being seen, of being left behind. My main source of anxiety is my work, a very competitive field, where the pressure to publish and give presentations is constant. Many times I paid the price of not enjoying my work (specifically my wondering and understanding of the issues I am working on) for getting a paper submitted or giving a presentation where I had to speculate beyond my comfort zone, only to be there, only to be seen. Covid acted like a magic wand because it erased momentarily this feeling of constant urgency. Suddenly everything stopped. And it was such a relief! It gave me time to feel what it would be like to feel without this anxiety. But now that things are slowly returning to normal I started feeling that pressure again. And I don’t want to. I hope I can follow your instructions and practice facing my fears… thank you for the videos!
I don’t feel I am am an overly anxious person when I compare myself to others, who sometimes seem practically paralyzed. Still there are occasions when I have to speak in public or in another language where anxiety surfaces. Sometimes things go well and other times not. I look forward to being more aware and using the process discussed.
I am aware of the completely illogical but powerful thought that worrying about something that might happen is a way of preventing it from happening and not worrying about it, is being complacent and will probably guarantee that the worst will happen!!
Whenever I am mindful to notice that my body has become unusually and increasingly uncomfortable, however it manifests, I am aware that I have been less vigilant previously. That is to say I allowed the habit of worrying go unchecked to build up toxic effects on my body.
The anxiety and fear loop that was prevalent through most of my life manifested physically with stage 4 ovarian cancer. I moved to my property in the forest and started to rebuild my health and living space. I also found the practice of mindfulness and meditation . Now going on 12 years later I am still here ,my rustic cabin in the woods is now my fully functional home and I am engaging with life and people more . My creativity is being expressed and I am about to be part of a retreat for frontline workers to rest and rejuvenate
Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us Tara🙏
I have been addicted to worry for as long as I can recall. Therapy helped understand it, but your trainings and meditations have truly been life altering as they are practical and accessible. A work of art in progress for sure. Thank you!
Another wise and actionable teaching; thank you. The connection made toward the end between anxiety and self-doubt sure rings true for me; my degree of anxiety is more connected to my perceived (lack of) capacity to deal with coming difficulty than anything objective about that difficulty.
My addiction to worry is 47 years old. I never been able to calm that easily. It was an aha moment when you said it was connected to failure. It absolutely 💯 is. Every time. The fear of fail. Thank you
Extremely helpful tool for coping with the crippling experience of anxiety and anxious overwhelm. I’ve been chronically ill for years and have a long list of allergies- it has felt like Russian roulette just eating and meeting people. These types of tools are invaluable for life after trauma.
as a previous nurse/midwife (now an artist) and daughter/sibling of doctors I have spent my whole life worrying about disease and death, now I’m middle aged I am finding ways to live with this chronic anxiety and create some space in my mind to enjoy the present…it’s hard to fight the fear of saying this out loud as it feels like tempting fate 😀
Tara beautifully explains the difference between fear and anxiety. One should regularly keep this distinction in mind as we go through life, because for many of us the end result is that we end up suffering unnecessarily.
Concern for others more than myself. Their lack of self care is the worry issues. Being a nurse seems to have this on my mind because I have seen the results in the ICU for years.
My anxious thoughts are strongest when I feel a lack of control. My pattern predicting brain will spiral if I can’t plan outcomes.
Only when I’m faced with overwhelming problems out of my control , Or if I think I’ve upset someone.
My addiction to fear started in infancy and has grown as I have grown into adulthood-bigger fears. More fear. I know I am addicted to fear and then I can be a victim, which I am also addicted to.
Love Tara Brach and her work. So helpful to me and clients! Thank you doing what you do!
My addiction to worry has recently caused an erratic heart rhythm. I need to address this.
I worry about everything…it keeps me up at night… I have even been stressed out from my dreams worrying. I have to tell myself that it is not real. I put myself down and judge myself constantly. I think that everyone is against me I don’t trust not even my children. I don’t want to be like this any more. Thank you doing this. thank you
Thoughts and feelings of self-doubt and fear of failure are things I’ve struggled with for a long time. I’ve learned to identify them, but allowing and staying present with them is difficult. It’s easier to seek comfort from temporary pleasures and or distraction.
I am becoming aware of the fact that it has to do with my inner critical voice. It is trying to protect me like when I was a child but I start to realize it’s not helping me anymore. It’s making things worse. Becoming aware of this helps me to try to create space gor my higher self.
I noticed the voice giving comfort in the third part was very optimistic and said “we’ll find help, we’ll figure it out, remember the fun parts, it’s gunna be great too!” –which sounds a lot like overcoming negativity bias. I have started a ‘good stuff’ diary which I try to write down a few lines about the best part of the day to help me remember to focus more on the positives. You can see how a worry habit can take over, like the more needy child or sibling, and the quiet, well-behaved part of our lives gets forgotten about. Some random things in my Good Stuff Notebook: ‘new sparkly boots; Council began repairs on the footpath for Enid (my elderly neighbour); made spicy fish soup for lunch; my daughter teaching me ‘Google stuff’; my son telling me his school subject selection and it being okay’. Thanks Tara for being such a HUGE part of my life these last three years. I live in Australia.
I have suffered from generalized anxiety for years. It usually takes hold sometime in the very early morning. I am not aware of any particular worry at that time but then thoughts come racing in. I do breath and tell myself everything will be OK but have not had much success. I also over prepare and think ahead to possible problems. I thought that was a good trait but maybe not. Some of it is fear of failure. I will do what you suggest and see what happens.
My addiction to worry, wants me to worry more!
And it brings me nowhere!
Thanks, Tara!
I never made the connection that my planning mind is really a manifestation of my fear, but it is. It’s judgemental and harsh, and it always assumes I will fail. It’s energy is frenetic and impersonal, like an unwanted visitor rummaging through my home.
Hi Tara
I have often seen in my clients due to generalized anxiety the ‘strangling’ of the individual’s wonderful but untapped potential. I found your presentation most helpful and thank you so much.
Worrying something bad will happen – all my life. My mother did that.
Tara, your presentation is inspiring and most helpful. Thanks!
My experience, has been that addiction to worry becomes something we forget and live with. Not realising what a constant and silent erosion it leads, from within. Tx for the three tips. I’ll be adding it to my anti-worry armour 🙂
Mindfulness is Courage! I absolutely love that!
Thank you looking forward to the next one!
Gina
To worry is part of my life .I am addicted to it. Now i try to accept it trough awareness and breathing.
Worrying can more easily take over regularly if the body’s biochemistry or bio-functionality is not in balance. A lack of certain nutrients for example weakens the nervous system’s balanced sensitivity.
I find, in the end,it becomes incapacitating, the abilility to heal, to see ourselves and others contracts instead of expands and we therefore become lonelier and increasingly sad. Our capacity for togetherness, within ourselves(mind, body spirit) and with others diminishes.
Some of the best advice I’ve ever gotten, which in turn gets the best response when I share it with others, is the idea to put 5 min of worrying onto your calendar, go for it and then when done, move on!
It takes time out of my life, feel stressed, pressured and note body is tight, tense. There is an obsessive quality so repetition eliminates reasonable ‘thinking’. It becomes circular and without room to form minor solutions. With guidance I know it is possible to pause, to still and to ground and interrupt the madness of the frightening, no exit perception.
Love this!
Thank you so much for the clarity of your process. I will practice and let you know! Many blessings. Colette from the Loire Valley in France
I suffer from severe health anxiety and the fear of missing a serious symptom and being told off for being so stupid at having neglected the signs. It stems from this treatment by a consultant 40 years ago!
I am spoiling the quality of my present life by living in fear and this video has definitely given me something to think about and try.
I think that I spend a great deal of my life being anxious about everything. I live alone. I’m getting older and less capable. I don’t know if my financial resources will be enough to take care of me. I’m anxious about losing my ability to decide things for myself. I have been used to having a partner in my life. My wife passed away five years ago. I am anxious I will never find another Intimate friend. So I need a lot of work. I am grateful for the help that you have given me so far.
I worry that my daughter will get discouraged and give up. I worry that my husband will die. I worry that I will be left alone. I worry that I will forget to keep up with my responsibilities. I worry about sharing my opinions. And I can see how these preoccupations lessen my curiosity, joy, and sense of connection
It is like a “trance of fear and worry.” I have hope to decondition this “trance” due to the neuroplasticity of our brains. 🙂
Thank you Tara, for this wonderful sharing. I am only recently recognizing the depth of my anxiety. Looking forward to hearing more and opening more to my anxiety.
Hi Tara- thank you. My addiction to worrying stems from hypervigilance and feelings of inadequacy due to childhood trauma. At 30 years old I am finally able to utilize awareness to see my victim and persecution complex- I live in fear in most areas of my life. I think the work to stop my “worrying addiction” must also be coupled with you radical acceptance (of myself as I am.) I can’t help but wonder though- I agree with some of my judgmental thoughts- that I can be and do better. How do I reconcile that with the practice of radical acceptance- the desire to accept myself as I am but also change and grow into a person healed from trauma.
My 13 year old daughter and I are both cancer survivors. As a result of our experiences – and those of countless friends who have been and are currently dealing with a cancer diagnosis – when I experience a new physical sensation, especially one that is uncomfortable or lingering or unknown, my mind goes immediately to worry of a new cancer diagnosis. The narrative spins out of control, highjacks my thoughts and ramps up my anxiety. I have never been a “worrier”, nor would I describe myself as a “worry addict”, so this experience feels totally foreign. It’s helpful to pay attention to the role my mind plays in the cycle.
What do you do when it’s ALL real?
It’s not just a thought. It’s really happening.
How do you deal, cope with it without detaching.
The fear is real. My son was just incarcerated & doesn’t know what happened to him emotionally & mentally, his wife moved in with someone 2 weeks after he went to jail, my granddaughters one Grandma is abusive to her & my husband recently passed away from ALS.
I’m addicted to worry and found this video to describe my feelings and thoughts so accurately that for a moment I thought you were reading my mind. I did the exercise and realized my anxiety stems from my fear of not being seen, of being left behind. My main source of anxiety is my work, a very competitive field, where the pressure to publish and give presentations is constant. Many times I paid the price of not enjoying my work (specifically my wondering and understanding of the issues I am working on) for getting a paper submitted or giving a presentation where I had to speculate beyond my comfort zone, only to be there, only to be seen. Covid acted like a magic wand because it erased momentarily this feeling of constant urgency. Suddenly everything stopped. And it was such a relief! It gave me time to feel what it would be like to feel without this anxiety. But now that things are slowly returning to normal I started feeling that pressure again. And I don’t want to. I hope I can follow your instructions and practice facing my fears… thank you for the videos!
I don’t feel I am am an overly anxious person when I compare myself to others, who sometimes seem practically paralyzed. Still there are occasions when I have to speak in public or in another language where anxiety surfaces. Sometimes things go well and other times not. I look forward to being more aware and using the process discussed.
I am aware of the completely illogical but powerful thought that worrying about something that might happen is a way of preventing it from happening and not worrying about it, is being complacent and will probably guarantee that the worst will happen!!
Whenever I am mindful to notice that my body has become unusually and increasingly uncomfortable, however it manifests, I am aware that I have been less vigilant previously. That is to say I allowed the habit of worrying go unchecked to build up toxic effects on my body.
The anxiety and fear loop that was prevalent through most of my life manifested physically with stage 4 ovarian cancer. I moved to my property in the forest and started to rebuild my health and living space. I also found the practice of mindfulness and meditation . Now going on 12 years later I am still here ,my rustic cabin in the woods is now my fully functional home and I am engaging with life and people more . My creativity is being expressed and I am about to be part of a retreat for frontline workers to rest and rejuvenate
Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us Tara🙏
For myself ; .It has been my constant companion for many years .
Worry saps my energy
I have been addicted to worry for as long as I can recall. Therapy helped understand it, but your trainings and meditations have truly been life altering as they are practical and accessible. A work of art in progress for sure. Thank you!
Another wise and actionable teaching; thank you. The connection made toward the end between anxiety and self-doubt sure rings true for me; my degree of anxiety is more connected to my perceived (lack of) capacity to deal with coming difficulty than anything objective about that difficulty.
Planning and preparing for what might happen is exhausting!
My addiction to worry is 47 years old. I never been able to calm that easily. It was an aha moment when you said it was connected to failure. It absolutely 💯 is. Every time. The fear of fail. Thank you
Extremely helpful tool for coping with the crippling experience of anxiety and anxious overwhelm. I’ve been chronically ill for years and have a long list of allergies- it has felt like Russian roulette just eating and meeting people. These types of tools are invaluable for life after trauma.
That was a great contribution. thanks.
as a previous nurse/midwife (now an artist) and daughter/sibling of doctors I have spent my whole life worrying about disease and death, now I’m middle aged I am finding ways to live with this chronic anxiety and create some space in my mind to enjoy the present…it’s hard to fight the fear of saying this out loud as it feels like tempting fate 😀
Thanks
Tara beautifully explains the difference between fear and anxiety. One should regularly keep this distinction in mind as we go through life, because for many of us the end result is that we end up suffering unnecessarily.
Yes,it has cost me my health and almost my marriage.