I struggle with the fear and find by watching and learning the simple process of awareness helps me stay present. Thank you for this helpful practice! I wake up in the night with worry.. and watch videos on this and other practices. So helpful! thank you
I would be someone with a tremendous amount of time to spend on the things that make me happy. Being fearful is so time consuming. I am ready to challenge the big fire monster nipping at my heals.
This series came at such a perfect time for me, thank you Tara. I’m really interested in your 6 week series course and look forward to more information about that.
Who would I be if I didn’t believe something was wrong with me? Free from the anchor that keeps me from realizing all the beautiful gifts I have to offer. To me this is the devastation of this cycle that so many of us live in. So few of us really ever learn just how incredible we really are and never get to share what we were meant to share in this go around. It’s my intention to change the course of a familial cycle that’s perpetuated abuse, addiction and such sadness. I’ve studies much with you online and sit with your guided work on Udemy, Insight Timer and Podcast. You’ve been so influential in my path of self healing and compassion, I can’t thank you enough.
Thank you for your explanation for how one gets stuck in really believing that their fear that they are not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough gets reinforced and validated by seeking out examples that confirm this. It is so helpful to ask who they would be if this wasn’t the case. Finally I love your phrase real but not true and will use it with my clients. Thank you again
It is a great question,”who would I be without fear?”I would be my old self
happy and looking forward to each and every day.But the challenge is to get
back to that happy state.I have to take the 6 week on-line course once I return
from overseas at the end of March,19.
I would be a strong, independent, outgoing, energetic and fit mother. I would have no fear, no self doubt and I would have a free spirit filled with love and compassion toward others.
Thank you Tara. Beautiful and succinct practice that can be so powerful.
I struggled with self doubt & feeling deeply unlovable much of my life until the protective facade gave way to a volcano of fury and finally, practice that has been soothing and healing, kind, compassionate. There was a lot of pain to get through but ‘real, but not true’ is a handy phrase to continue to challenge. I love your emphasis on kindness to self and awareness through the body as well as challenging with our thinking.
Thank you for such a gentle but powerful series – resonating at both a professional and personal level. Planning to introduce ‘real but not true’ into a conversation with a client this afternoon and noticing a welcome positivity and curiosity in anticipation…
I would have come to this field and practice years ago. Fear has been so self limiting. Now, taking active steps even when the fear arises has opened up a wide world of possibilities. I look forward to ever growing possibilities
I would be a lot more successful and able to serve others, to offer support for others who are in need of love and TLC, thus being able to maybe reduce by a minuscule amount the infinite pain and suffering in our world.
new fears have replaced older fears as I enter my 70s. many friends are dying & some very painful deaths. The fear of death & possibly extreme suffering is very present. Can I be like the zen master who when his students were facing fears of death said” watch me” & stood on his head & died.
I would be less self-conscious and more self-aware. When I’m self-conscious, I’m small, shrinking, my expressions are constricted. My body is tense and I don’t even realize it. When I am self-aware, I’m more quietly confident, my expressions are more relaxed. My body flows easier and I stand taller. I glimpse self-awareness now and then but all too often I skip back into self-doubt. It’s a life-long practice … because self-doubt has been with me for a lifetime.
Thank you for the clear exposition and ways to both normalise and validate the role of anxiety/fear in our (evolutionary) lives, and how to unhook from it. I have always found it helpful to tell my clients that the body makes no difference between physical threats and emotional threats – so some good tools to follow this.
I am a Psychologist in my own Private Practice
I see many female clients who have a lot of “learned” fear & anxiety
Many older women grew up in a time of “seen & not heard”, “girls just need to be compliant & look pretty but don’t need to think”
It’s especially hard for them to leave those negative thoughts, practices & ingrained responses behind to learn to explore their talents & love themselves just as they are with no need for justification.
I particularly like
– the question “Who would you be without fear?”
– the challenge of “Real but not true” with the idea of weakening the chance of believing
– the practice for the person to offer compassion to fearful grieving part to begin to get a glimpse of fearless heart
In response to the question, ‘Who would you be if you didn’t believe something was wrong with you?’ I would be a much freer person, and lighter within, as my thoughts often feel heavy and often I feel trapped. Not all the time, of course, but I definitely recognize the ‘self doubt looping’ and by deconditioning I would be opening up my mind, as an artist, for more creativity in thinking and doing.
Thank you Tara for this excellent series of talks on fear. I found them really helpful for myself and I am hoping that they might help me in my work with a client who has suffered from chronic fear and anxiety all her life. She was brought up in a home where her father and mother were often angry. She describes sitting in her bedroom and fearing the sound of her mother’s footsteps on the stairs. She thought that when she left home hear fear would go but it didn’t. She is now in her 50’s, and her fear and self doubt and self-hatred – she says she hates her body, and has self-harmed in the past – have undermined her in her life. It became so bad at one point that she ended up in mental hospital. In my last session with her she described her fear of getting down to a small piece of work which she knows she can do, but as soon as she thinks about it she is overwhelmed by the thought ‘I’m rubbish and I can’t do this, I always mess up’. I invited her to see if she could become aware of the feelings underlying these thoughts, but she finds this really hard. She finds focusing inwards hard, especially focusing on her body. Towards the end of the session I asked her if there had been anyone in her life who believed in her. She quickly thought of her drama teacher as a child. She remembered feeling surprised that he believed in her. I asked her how she was feeling as she spoke about him now. ‘Good, a sense of energy’. I felt a sense of relief that she could feel this, but I am beginning to feel anxious myself about her, as I have been seeing her for two years now, and she is still overwhelmed by anxiety. She started coming to see me because she was having to move from the city where she had been living for some years, and where she felt at home and had begun to make some real progress in her life. But then her husband said that he was having to move for work to another city. This meant her leaving all that was positive in her life and starting all over again in a strange city. She felt very angry and anxious. She has made the move and is beginning to get to know people and get involved in things she likes doing, but her anxiety is continuing to trouble her.
I just retired last May from a long career as a school counselor. I thought I would love being free to do the things I haven’t had time for, but instead I have experienced anxiety over not feeling productive. I find myself filling my days with meaningless tasks just to fill the time. Tara’s comments have helped me realize I need to look a little deeper. “Who would I be if I didn’t believe something was wrong with me?” Thank You!
If I was not afraid, I would ask women on dates, maybe even try to find a real job. I would share my art and experience more widely and take my well-earned place as a man among men. I grovelled far too long, but no more!!
Many thanks as ever for Tara’s clarity as she explains how we can do and be our lives without the conditioning. Mindfulness and Mindful Self-compassion has taught me so much and I love passing it on to others. Thanks for these resources.
Thank you for the 3 talks – I find all of your observations, comments and references affirming, kind and clarifying/liberating, and you have a lovely natural delivery.
Some feedback on format – I do find the looping “new age” music quite irritating and unhelpful – I would much prefer just hearing your natural and and authentic voice from a quiet room. The overlay of musak diminishes the experience, and feels a distraction, rather than making me more alert/receptive to what you are wanting to convey.
Such a valuable lesson here…. who would I be without fear? A teacher without fear of presenting; a date without fear of rejection; a caregiver without fearing the loss of my love one to their passing.
Thank you Tara
I really liked how you talked softly and calmly and in a relaxed manner kind-of casual. I think having three steps is easy for me to remember and I am more likely put them into practice. It gives me confidence in my own success already.
Thank you
I loved this series and so much of it was completely what I go through on almost a daily basis. I especially liked the story of the little boy and the scary, firey monster. I’ve already began attempting to ask my anxiety ” what are you scared of?” I’m really hoping that it works. Thank You for doing this Free Series and I look forward to more about Facing Your Anxiety
I found all 3 parts of this very valuable, both personally, (I AM a worrier!)and professionally! By applying it to myself first, I will be more effective in helping others to understand and apply these concepts!
I struggle with the fear and find by watching and learning the simple process of awareness helps me stay present. Thank you for this helpful practice! I wake up in the night with worry.. and watch videos on this and other practices. So helpful! thank you
Thank you for sharing these short clips; they definitely help me understand my daughter better….. thank you…
I would be such an amazing person. Generous, kind, talented and accomplished. With so much to give others.
Gwendolyn
I would be someone with a tremendous amount of time to spend on the things that make me happy. Being fearful is so time consuming. I am ready to challenge the big fire monster nipping at my heals.
I would trust myself more, take more risks, stop trying so hard and would be way more self compassionate.
This series came at such a perfect time for me, thank you Tara. I’m really interested in your 6 week series course and look forward to more information about that.
Who would I be if I didn’t believe something was wrong with me? Free from the anchor that keeps me from realizing all the beautiful gifts I have to offer. To me this is the devastation of this cycle that so many of us live in. So few of us really ever learn just how incredible we really are and never get to share what we were meant to share in this go around. It’s my intention to change the course of a familial cycle that’s perpetuated abuse, addiction and such sadness. I’ve studies much with you online and sit with your guided work on Udemy, Insight Timer and Podcast. You’ve been so influential in my path of self healing and compassion, I can’t thank you enough.
I would be authentically myself, connected, compassionate and content.
I would be much more free and happy. My health would improve and I would be more confident in bringing my work to other people.
Thank you for your explanation for how one gets stuck in really believing that their fear that they are not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough gets reinforced and validated by seeking out examples that confirm this. It is so helpful to ask who they would be if this wasn’t the case. Finally I love your phrase real but not true and will use it with my clients. Thank you again
Thank you Tara. These videos are timely for me and powerful. Without fear I would be a fuller version of myself, kind, giving and generous.
It is a great question,”who would I be without fear?”I would be my old self
happy and looking forward to each and every day.But the challenge is to get
back to that happy state.I have to take the 6 week on-line course once I return
from overseas at the end of March,19.
So helpful. I already feel stronger.
I would be a strong, independent, outgoing, energetic and fit mother. I would have no fear, no self doubt and I would have a free spirit filled with love and compassion toward others.
Thank you
Thank you Tara. Beautiful and succinct practice that can be so powerful.
I struggled with self doubt & feeling deeply unlovable much of my life until the protective facade gave way to a volcano of fury and finally, practice that has been soothing and healing, kind, compassionate. There was a lot of pain to get through but ‘real, but not true’ is a handy phrase to continue to challenge. I love your emphasis on kindness to self and awareness through the body as well as challenging with our thinking.
Thank you for such a gentle but powerful series – resonating at both a professional and personal level. Planning to introduce ‘real but not true’ into a conversation with a client this afternoon and noticing a welcome positivity and curiosity in anticipation…
I would have come to this field and practice years ago. Fear has been so self limiting. Now, taking active steps even when the fear arises has opened up a wide world of possibilities. I look forward to ever growing possibilities
I would be a lot more successful and able to serve others, to offer support for others who are in need of love and TLC, thus being able to maybe reduce by a minuscule amount the infinite pain and suffering in our world.
I would be reborn; courageous, energetic and loving life!
new fears have replaced older fears as I enter my 70s. many friends are dying & some very painful deaths. The fear of death & possibly extreme suffering is very present. Can I be like the zen master who when his students were facing fears of death said” watch me” & stood on his head & died.
I would be fearless and move forward, instead of worrying all the time!
I would be less self-conscious and more self-aware. When I’m self-conscious, I’m small, shrinking, my expressions are constricted. My body is tense and I don’t even realize it. When I am self-aware, I’m more quietly confident, my expressions are more relaxed. My body flows easier and I stand taller. I glimpse self-awareness now and then but all too often I skip back into self-doubt. It’s a life-long practice … because self-doubt has been with me for a lifetime.
Thank you for the clear exposition and ways to both normalise and validate the role of anxiety/fear in our (evolutionary) lives, and how to unhook from it. I have always found it helpful to tell my clients that the body makes no difference between physical threats and emotional threats – so some good tools to follow this.
I would be more confident in my work and in my parenting as well.
Great question – thanks Tara!
I am a Psychologist in my own Private Practice
I see many female clients who have a lot of “learned” fear & anxiety
Many older women grew up in a time of “seen & not heard”, “girls just need to be compliant & look pretty but don’t need to think”
It’s especially hard for them to leave those negative thoughts, practices & ingrained responses behind to learn to explore their talents & love themselves just as they are with no need for justification.
I particularly like
– the question “Who would you be without fear?”
– the challenge of “Real but not true” with the idea of weakening the chance of believing
– the practice for the person to offer compassion to fearful grieving part to begin to get a glimpse of fearless heart
Thank you Ruth 🙂
Confident and sure, to be able to reach my goals.
I would be more able to answer my life’s calling.
I intend asking myself ‘What am I unwilling to feel’ when I feel stuck.
Thank you.
Margaret
One of the best workshops yet – and I thought I lived without fear!
In response to the question, ‘Who would you be if you didn’t believe something was wrong with you?’ I would be a much freer person, and lighter within, as my thoughts often feel heavy and often I feel trapped. Not all the time, of course, but I definitely recognize the ‘self doubt looping’ and by deconditioning I would be opening up my mind, as an artist, for more creativity in thinking and doing.
Thank you Tara for this excellent series of talks on fear. I found them really helpful for myself and I am hoping that they might help me in my work with a client who has suffered from chronic fear and anxiety all her life. She was brought up in a home where her father and mother were often angry. She describes sitting in her bedroom and fearing the sound of her mother’s footsteps on the stairs. She thought that when she left home hear fear would go but it didn’t. She is now in her 50’s, and her fear and self doubt and self-hatred – she says she hates her body, and has self-harmed in the past – have undermined her in her life. It became so bad at one point that she ended up in mental hospital. In my last session with her she described her fear of getting down to a small piece of work which she knows she can do, but as soon as she thinks about it she is overwhelmed by the thought ‘I’m rubbish and I can’t do this, I always mess up’. I invited her to see if she could become aware of the feelings underlying these thoughts, but she finds this really hard. She finds focusing inwards hard, especially focusing on her body. Towards the end of the session I asked her if there had been anyone in her life who believed in her. She quickly thought of her drama teacher as a child. She remembered feeling surprised that he believed in her. I asked her how she was feeling as she spoke about him now. ‘Good, a sense of energy’. I felt a sense of relief that she could feel this, but I am beginning to feel anxious myself about her, as I have been seeing her for two years now, and she is still overwhelmed by anxiety. She started coming to see me because she was having to move from the city where she had been living for some years, and where she felt at home and had begun to make some real progress in her life. But then her husband said that he was having to move for work to another city. This meant her leaving all that was positive in her life and starting all over again in a strange city. She felt very angry and anxious. She has made the move and is beginning to get to know people and get involved in things she likes doing, but her anxiety is continuing to trouble her.
I would be more ‘alive,’ more present; and no doubt happier. Thank you for your loving presence and inspiration x
I just retired last May from a long career as a school counselor. I thought I would love being free to do the things I haven’t had time for, but instead I have experienced anxiety over not feeling productive. I find myself filling my days with meaningless tasks just to fill the time. Tara’s comments have helped me realize I need to look a little deeper. “Who would I be if I didn’t believe something was wrong with me?” Thank You!
I would further my education and be promoted in my job, and be confident in my abilities at work. I would sleep better too.
Light, open hearted and enlightened
If I was not afraid, I would ask women on dates, maybe even try to find a real job. I would share my art and experience more widely and take my well-earned place as a man among men. I grovelled far too long, but no more!!
Thank you so much!
Your words are really helping !
<3
Eva
I would work a bit less, declutter my life and have more fun with family and friends.
Many thanks as ever for Tara’s clarity as she explains how we can do and be our lives without the conditioning. Mindfulness and Mindful Self-compassion has taught me so much and I love passing it on to others. Thanks for these resources.
Thank you for the 3 talks – I find all of your observations, comments and references affirming, kind and clarifying/liberating, and you have a lovely natural delivery.
Some feedback on format – I do find the looping “new age” music quite irritating and unhelpful – I would much prefer just hearing your natural and and authentic voice from a quiet room. The overlay of musak diminishes the experience, and feels a distraction, rather than making me more alert/receptive to what you are wanting to convey.
Such a valuable lesson here…. who would I be without fear? A teacher without fear of presenting; a date without fear of rejection; a caregiver without fearing the loss of my love one to their passing.
Thank you Tara
I really liked how you talked softly and calmly and in a relaxed manner kind-of casual. I think having three steps is easy for me to remember and I am more likely put them into practice. It gives me confidence in my own success already.
Thank you
I could be, and do, anything!
Excellent. Thank you for this series. Very relevant for myself and my clients
I would be true to myself, set better boundaries and would speak my truth more often 🙂
Thank you for this free teaching. Very powerful!
I loved this series and so much of it was completely what I go through on almost a daily basis. I especially liked the story of the little boy and the scary, firey monster. I’ve already began attempting to ask my anxiety ” what are you scared of?” I’m really hoping that it works. Thank You for doing this Free Series and I look forward to more about Facing Your Anxiety
Very helpful
I found all 3 parts of this very valuable, both personally, (I AM a worrier!)and professionally! By applying it to myself first, I will be more effective in helping others to understand and apply these concepts!