Thank you so very much for this, Tara. I cried and cried, thankfully with awareness of this as a needed release. I’m not a therapist or counseling professional. Thank you again and thank you very much Ruth for sharing this.
Without fear, I am safe, happy, optimistic and resilient, and able to experience peace, comfort, serenity and fulfillment. I relate to others with compassion, empathy, and an open heart.
Margarita Saenz, Psychology, Philadelphia , PA, USAsays
I seems that commitment to the “realness” of our anxiety and fear is an effort to save face, to confirm we aren’t crazy. The fear seems so true that letting it go can be even more scary. This phrase, “real but not true” can be so liberating.
I believe that what I wish I’d be is prior to all these experiences, which has giving shape to the sense of fear. I already am, complete, but I guess not fearless! Need to remember that fears are not who I am. Still, I tend to deprive myself of new experiences when I let fear take control of situations and holding me back.
Thanks for helping with that quest.
Freedom from fear has been one of the greatest shifts I’ve ever made. So glad you’ve offered such deep and effective instruction so others may find this freedom (and support still more on their way to live free).
Beeing with this question I felt sorrow arising, a feeling of lost time and not taken directions, unmade steps in my life showed up, and this hurt. Defense mechanism came up , follwed by anger.
Acknowledging all these feelings and myself was the first step to take and it took some time before I could move on, asking the question again.
“Who would I be, if I didn´t belive someting was wrong with me?”
Now the question had more space, the view got brighter, located in the present and even future, I began to feel much lighter, curious, playful, confident, ready to just go and live my life. Making decisions will be easier, saying yes (or no) clearly, allowing me to be successful, earn more money, more trust in steps to take… Feels good💛
Thank you for this exercise Tara!
Who would I be if I didn’t believe something was wrong with me? I would have my counseling license and I would be more objective in my spirit about my gifts and talents; more compassionate with myself and my fellow humans who are all trying their best.
Who would I be, if I didn’t believe something was wrong with me? I think I would be a very light-hearted person who approached life with curiosity and creativity. When I fall into the trance that I am empirically flawed, it has a very depressing, immobilizing effect. Thank you Tara. Your teachings always inspire.
“Real but not true”…great and easy to say, but on my worst days I ask myself “ who says they are not true,” and find all kinds of evidence to support the fact that my thoughts are true because they are who I am and have been all my life. I guess all I can do is work on the fact that I am not my thoughts and work on facing my fears so that I can be free to be a confident, loving and humourous person.
I’m not sure. Living with a stroke has changed my body and the way I live in the world. I feel chronic anxiety and fear. Will I ever heal? Who would I be without this fear? I would trust more, and ask for help more. I don’t want to spiritual by-pass my grief, fear and loss. But I do want to live in the world with the joy and creativity I felt before my stroke.
Kathy Valentino, Social Work, Hamilton, NJ, USAsays
Very powerful presentation , trying to be bold and courageous but fighting my many fears as well. It helps to consider compassion and care first. Thank you Tara
Thank you for this teaching! I would be much braver if I didn’t believe something was wrong with me. I appreciate the opportunity to contemplate what that would look like in my life!
If i was without fear of failure/ unworthiness i would be a more agreeable person and i would be able to thank people who praise me for excellent work i have done and i would be able to accept loving kindness from others.
Thank you Tara for being so kind! Hugs to you!
I actually do not know. But I would love to find out whether I could witness to anyone and everyone about my beliefs. Especially my children. The fear of not handling their response well, is very powerful.
I would be a happier person. I would set reasonable limits at my job and not overreact to authority figures. I would allow myself to be a human being with my children and trust that I am loved.
I would be the lighter, creative, more free-spirited version of myself that I get glimpses of but lose touch with as familiar thought loops of fear seep back out of habit and doubt. I love this question, and the vision it inspires.
I would be that person I have always longed to be…but in some ways I’ve become so identified with my fear that I’m afraid (no pun intended) that I wouldn’t actually be myself without this fear…it’s like asking who would eeyore be without his gloom and negativity? But I do know that without my fear I would be happier and healthier and more able to care for myself and less dependent on others to get me through. I’d have the mind space to think more clearly and be more honest with myself without my fear.
I love the question: who would I be if I didn’t believe _____. I may not easily imagine the answer, but at the very least, I’ve taken a pause from the negative thinking. Thank you!
Beautiful presentation but please let’s eliminate In our work the concept that these human beings are CLIENTS . If you dont want to callthem patients , call them “ person” , or ” human beings” .
The presentation is so engaging until the dehumanizing word CLIENT happens.
The beautiful words and theories are left behind in this harsh distance kept from the human being whose heart is supposed to turn fearless. Thank you
Alicia Guttman M.D
I would be the strong loving person that my wife sees. I would be integrating all of my practices into my work with others, sharing and building resilience together. I would live with less anxiety, which in turn would have me much more present in my daily living, in my relationships, my work.
Who would I be if I didn’t believe something is wrong with me? Pretty confident or successful, not inadequate or wrong for feeling inadequate. I wouldn’t have to work at fixing what was ‘wrong’. I would be less critical, less focused on what is ‘wrong’, using some other source of wisdom on what to do than reacting to things that are ‘wrong’. If something turns out different to what I want, then change what I do to get the outcome I want or work with it as it is.
I would be a grounded person – connected with my breath and accepting what comes from a place of a witness – watching what unfolds with less attachment – I would see the positive side of things and feel more gratitude every day
Thank you for this training, the content, and the beauty of the delivery with your eyes and smile. I have found it very useful with one of my current clients who suffer from panic attacks with roots in fear of failure in almost every area of his life. We both thank you.
Gerardo Talamo, Ph.d.
Great question. I would have more self compassion and empathy. Thank you Tara🙏🏻
Thank you so very much for this, Tara. I cried and cried, thankfully with awareness of this as a needed release. I’m not a therapist or counseling professional. Thank you again and thank you very much Ruth for sharing this.
super bien expliqué.. well comment..
Fear is so imbedded but I will try to practice real but not true–difficult as it is.
Thank you.
I would be me, flow more with my experience, enjoy my
much happier and relaxed self without the need to be on alert and protected.
Without fear, I am safe, happy, optimistic and resilient, and able to experience peace, comfort, serenity and fulfillment. I relate to others with compassion, empathy, and an open heart.
I seems that commitment to the “realness” of our anxiety and fear is an effort to save face, to confirm we aren’t crazy. The fear seems so true that letting it go can be even more scary. This phrase, “real but not true” can be so liberating.
I believe that what I wish I’d be is prior to all these experiences, which has giving shape to the sense of fear. I already am, complete, but I guess not fearless! Need to remember that fears are not who I am. Still, I tend to deprive myself of new experiences when I let fear take control of situations and holding me back.
Thanks for helping with that quest.
I would be a confident person!
I need to be back my original way of thinking without so many fear thoughts!
Freedom from fear has been one of the greatest shifts I’ve ever made. So glad you’ve offered such deep and effective instruction so others may find this freedom (and support still more on their way to live free).
Was helpful, and relatable.
Just asking the question would remind me of REAL BUT NOT TRUE. It would free me to be more authentically myself.
me! the person I am meant to be!
Certainly very thought provoking. I am eager to utilize this.
Thank you Tara. This has been helpful. And thanks to Ruth and NICABM for their wonderful work.
I would be more true to my authentic self, happier, free to share all parts of me, more easily accepting of love from others
Beeing with this question I felt sorrow arising, a feeling of lost time and not taken directions, unmade steps in my life showed up, and this hurt. Defense mechanism came up , follwed by anger.
Acknowledging all these feelings and myself was the first step to take and it took some time before I could move on, asking the question again.
“Who would I be, if I didn´t belive someting was wrong with me?”
Now the question had more space, the view got brighter, located in the present and even future, I began to feel much lighter, curious, playful, confident, ready to just go and live my life. Making decisions will be easier, saying yes (or no) clearly, allowing me to be successful, earn more money, more trust in steps to take… Feels good💛
Thank you for this exercise Tara!
Without fear I could be my true and authentic self and bring my skills and abilities to the world. Thank you for this encouragement and process.
Who would I be if I didn’t believe something was wrong with me? I would have my counseling license and I would be more objective in my spirit about my gifts and talents; more compassionate with myself and my fellow humans who are all trying their best.
Who would I be, if I didn’t believe something was wrong with me? I think I would be a very light-hearted person who approached life with curiosity and creativity. When I fall into the trance that I am empirically flawed, it has a very depressing, immobilizing effect. Thank you Tara. Your teachings always inspire.
I watched all 3 talks of Tara Brock and she is always inspirational.
Lita Thompson
“Real but not true”…great and easy to say, but on my worst days I ask myself “ who says they are not true,” and find all kinds of evidence to support the fact that my thoughts are true because they are who I am and have been all my life. I guess all I can do is work on the fact that I am not my thoughts and work on facing my fears so that I can be free to be a confident, loving and humourous person.
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. I would be exactly who I was created to be. Thank you.
at peace Joyful loving and kind all the time
I’d be a more effective therapist, able to teach what I actually feel rather than simply what I hope to be true.
I’m not sure. Living with a stroke has changed my body and the way I live in the world. I feel chronic anxiety and fear. Will I ever heal? Who would I be without this fear? I would trust more, and ask for help more. I don’t want to spiritual by-pass my grief, fear and loss. But I do want to live in the world with the joy and creativity I felt before my stroke.
I would be freer, more creative, more loving, more me.
Very powerful presentation , trying to be bold and courageous but fighting my many fears as well. It helps to consider compassion and care first. Thank you Tara
I would be surrounded by people who care about be and love me just as I am.
Thank you for this teaching! I would be much braver if I didn’t believe something was wrong with me. I appreciate the opportunity to contemplate what that would look like in my life!
If i was without fear of failure/ unworthiness i would be a more agreeable person and i would be able to thank people who praise me for excellent work i have done and i would be able to accept loving kindness from others.
Thank you Tara for being so kind! Hugs to you!
I actually do not know. But I would love to find out whether I could witness to anyone and everyone about my beliefs. Especially my children. The fear of not handling their response well, is very powerful.
I would be a happier person. I would set reasonable limits at my job and not overreact to authority figures. I would allow myself to be a human being with my children and trust that I am loved.
I would be the person God created me to be.
I would be free and courageous
Excellent presentation…
I liked…Real but not true…
Who would I be if I didn’t believe…..
Thanks…
I would be the lighter, creative, more free-spirited version of myself that I get glimpses of but lose touch with as familiar thought loops of fear seep back out of habit and doubt. I love this question, and the vision it inspires.
I would be that person I have always longed to be…but in some ways I’ve become so identified with my fear that I’m afraid (no pun intended) that I wouldn’t actually be myself without this fear…it’s like asking who would eeyore be without his gloom and negativity? But I do know that without my fear I would be happier and healthier and more able to care for myself and less dependent on others to get me through. I’d have the mind space to think more clearly and be more honest with myself without my fear.
I love the question: who would I be if I didn’t believe _____. I may not easily imagine the answer, but at the very least, I’ve taken a pause from the negative thinking. Thank you!
Very wise,useful approach to focusing compassionate attention.
Wonderful! I plan to use this starting with one particular client in mind this week! Thank you!
Beautiful presentation but please let’s eliminate In our work the concept that these human beings are CLIENTS . If you dont want to callthem patients , call them “ person” , or ” human beings” .
The presentation is so engaging until the dehumanizing word CLIENT happens.
The beautiful words and theories are left behind in this harsh distance kept from the human being whose heart is supposed to turn fearless. Thank you
Alicia Guttman M.D
I would be the strong loving person that my wife sees. I would be integrating all of my practices into my work with others, sharing and building resilience together. I would live with less anxiety, which in turn would have me much more present in my daily living, in my relationships, my work.
Who would I be if I didn’t believe something is wrong with me? Pretty confident or successful, not inadequate or wrong for feeling inadequate. I wouldn’t have to work at fixing what was ‘wrong’. I would be less critical, less focused on what is ‘wrong’, using some other source of wisdom on what to do than reacting to things that are ‘wrong’. If something turns out different to what I want, then change what I do to get the outcome I want or work with it as it is.
“Real but not true”. A great mantra!
More open and present in my relations. More happy and grateful in my life.
I would be a grounded person – connected with my breath and accepting what comes from a place of a witness – watching what unfolds with less attachment – I would see the positive side of things and feel more gratitude every day
A confident, relaxed, and more pleasant compassionate person. Thank you so much for these teachings.
Thank you for this training, the content, and the beauty of the delivery with your eyes and smile. I have found it very useful with one of my current clients who suffer from panic attacks with roots in fear of failure in almost every area of his life. We both thank you.
Gerardo Talamo, Ph.d.
It makes sense. Thank you.