“Real but not true” such a helpful phrase and “who would I be if I didn’t believe something was wrong with me” – a powerful tool! Thank you, Tara, for the gift of a strategy to meet fear with compassion.
I asked this question of myself and realized almost immediately that I would be lifted from the weight of the baggage I’ve carried that there’s something wrong with me; something I must fear and work very hard to correct. Without fear and without thinking there’s something wrong with me, I would really enjoy fully pursue life and what’s in my heart. Wow, what an insight that is! My thanks Tara For this valuable and helpful introduction to your workshop!
This is wonderful and so accessible. Thank you Tara. Your work always inspires me to live more fully knowing myself which in turn makes me a better and more compassionate therapist.
Excellent food for thought for my anxious clients. Turning and facing the fear, real but not true, and the awareness of our bodies reactions to fearful thinking making the fear seem more real.
I would be fearlessly and passionately traveling the world offering assistance, support and compassion to as many people and animals as I could possibly reach out to during my lifetime.
The one who dare to reach out towards others – knowing I am connected to all that lives and all that breathes , and that I am worth being loving and beeing listened to. That I deserve presence with myself and others ❤️🌱🤗
To be honest, I find this question very diffucult to answer. Fear and its limitations are with me since I was 5… but I think that it feels free and gives a big amount of trust in life!
Geraldine Dolores Flynn, Social Work, Brooklyn, NY, USAsays
Very, very interesting ! Thank you. So far, in the immediate aftermath of watching this third part, I am drawing a blank to that question but will give it more thought. I was in individual therapy for 10 years with a Freudian psychiatrist who I saw once a week, sitting up, and she once told me to remember that even rats can be conditioned. “Real but not true” is a powerful statement, similar to “feelings, not facts”, as a friend quoted from her therapist. I’m struck by how you can’t understand from the outside the impact of childhood experiences. A friend whose father died when she was 6 and suffered no abuse, like I did, from my father, has more fear of intimacy and chronic anxiety.
Very, very interesting ! Thank you. So far, in the immediate aftermath of watching this third part, I am drawing a blank to that question but will give it more thought. I was in individual therapy for 10 years with a Freudian psychiatrist who I saw once a week, sitting up, and she once told me to remember that even rats can be conditioned. “Real but not true” is a powerful statement, similar to “feelings, not facts”, as a friend quoted from her therapist. I’m struck by how you can’t understand from the outside the impact of childhood experiences. A friend whose father died when she was 6 and suffered no abuse, like I did, from my father, has more fear of intimacy and chronic anxiety.
The two phrases ‘real but not true’ and ‘who would I be without this fear?’ are poignant and packed full of potential for my personal work, my supporting my daughter who experiences self doubt and clients. Thank you, Susan
More elastic, more free with my extending myself to others and the world, free to create and explore, fearless of failure, free to unconditionally accept the love of others, accept and appreciate my mortality
Without the stories and set of unhelpful reactions to fear, I would be more free to be present in each moment. It is my reactions to anxiety thoughts, and my self-judgment that turns a useful emotion like fear into a monster. I want to develop a healthy response to appropriate fear.
This is a wonderful tool! “Real but not true.” It is a great way to describe so many circumstances that I can get caught up in! And I can already feel how it could help me feel more at peace with myself & the world more often!
Barbara Parker, Health Education, Morriston , FL, USAsays
Everything you said resonated with me! I love the phrase real but not true. I’ve felt unloved most of my life, but never connected it to my constant underlying fear.
I would be a clearer/better mirror/window of the divine for both myself and others. I would breath and be and sleep more freely, directly and indirectly doing the same for others. And solve problems without creating more.
AMAZING WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT!!
I’m now working with a teenage girl who thinks she’s not good enough & I need to help her get out of this!!
Quite a challenge
Thank you Tara. Without any awareness of fear I suppose I’d be less safe. However as you say acknowledging the fear allows us to distinguish what is most true vs unhealthy judgments and concerns. Without fear I would be acting with even more love in all situations and even in my own mind. 💖💖
Esther Estey, Psychology, USA says
“Real but not true” such a helpful phrase and “who would I be if I didn’t believe something was wrong with me” – a powerful tool! Thank you, Tara, for the gift of a strategy to meet fear with compassion.
Sally Sporer, Psychology, Boulder, CO, USA says
I asked this question of myself and realized almost immediately that I would be lifted from the weight of the baggage I’ve carried that there’s something wrong with me; something I must fear and work very hard to correct. Without fear and without thinking there’s something wrong with me, I would really enjoy fully pursue life and what’s in my heart. Wow, what an insight that is! My thanks Tara For this valuable and helpful introduction to your workshop!
Leonie Cottell Rique, Other, BR says
I would sincerely like to know who I am without fear as it has overwhelmed my whole life until now.
sam oberoi, Another Field, North Port, FL, USA says
JUST SIMPLE YET PROFOUND PROCESS
THANK YOU
SAM OBEROI
Sinead Molloy, Other, IE says
A much happier and less stressed Mum to my two young boys. Thank you Tara for sharing this.
Laurena Lau, Psychology, NL says
I would be free
Romain P, Counseling, CA says
This is wonderful and so accessible. Thank you Tara. Your work always inspires me to live more fully knowing myself which in turn makes me a better and more compassionate therapist.
Bob Rutzebeck, Psychotherapy, CA says
Excellent food for thought for my anxious clients. Turning and facing the fear, real but not true, and the awareness of our bodies reactions to fearful thinking making the fear seem more real.
Gabi Gray, ZA says
I would be fearlessly and passionately traveling the world offering assistance, support and compassion to as many people and animals as I could possibly reach out to during my lifetime.
Jenipfer Osif, Other, Sacramento, CA, USA says
I would be able to accept my physical disability, the direct result of the trauma that caused my PTSD.
Benny Prawira, Psychology, ID says
I would be a brave hearted advocate for the marginalized
Lauren Jacobs, Psychotherapy, GB says
I would be free to be who I truly am – the real me.
Helle Wium, Other, DK says
The one who dare to reach out towards others – knowing I am connected to all that lives and all that breathes , and that I am worth being loving and beeing listened to. That I deserve presence with myself and others ❤️🌱🤗
Tabitha Scott, Counseling, USA says
I would be able to enjoy my uniqueness rather than hiding it
Bobbie O'Connor, Coach, Jacksonville, FL, USA says
Excellent, clear truth. Thank you.
Simône De Mare, Medicine, NL says
To be honest, I find this question very diffucult to answer. Fear and its limitations are with me since I was 5… but I think that it feels free and gives a big amount of trust in life!
Sophia Vonta, Other, GB says
So powerful, thank you. I would be free to pursue my wildest dreams, to offer and lead without fear of rejection and getting “found out”
Queen Hill, Psychology, Kansas City, MO, USA says
I would be comfortable in my skin!
Geraldine Dolores Flynn, Social Work, Brooklyn, NY, USA says
Very, very interesting ! Thank you. So far, in the immediate aftermath of watching this third part, I am drawing a blank to that question but will give it more thought. I was in individual therapy for 10 years with a Freudian psychiatrist who I saw once a week, sitting up, and she once told me to remember that even rats can be conditioned. “Real but not true” is a powerful statement, similar to “feelings, not facts”, as a friend quoted from her therapist. I’m struck by how you can’t understand from the outside the impact of childhood experiences. A friend whose father died when she was 6 and suffered no abuse, like I did, from my father, has more fear of intimacy and chronic anxiety.
Geraldine Flynn, NY, USA says
Very, very interesting ! Thank you. So far, in the immediate aftermath of watching this third part, I am drawing a blank to that question but will give it more thought. I was in individual therapy for 10 years with a Freudian psychiatrist who I saw once a week, sitting up, and she once told me to remember that even rats can be conditioned. “Real but not true” is a powerful statement, similar to “feelings, not facts”, as a friend quoted from her therapist. I’m struck by how you can’t understand from the outside the impact of childhood experiences. A friend whose father died when she was 6 and suffered no abuse, like I did, from my father, has more fear of intimacy and chronic anxiety.
Susan gross, Psychology, CA says
The two phrases ‘real but not true’ and ‘who would I be without this fear?’ are poignant and packed full of potential for my personal work, my supporting my daughter who experiences self doubt and clients. Thank you, Susan
Craig Alexander, Another Field, MX says
More elastic, more free with my extending myself to others and the world, free to create and explore, fearless of failure, free to unconditionally accept the love of others, accept and appreciate my mortality
Jason Howard, Counseling, Roswell, GA, USA says
Less of a procrastinator and imprisoned by my fear of starting new things and exploring new adventures.
Marilyn Mue, Other, Chicago, IL, USA says
Without the stories and set of unhelpful reactions to fear, I would be more free to be present in each moment. It is my reactions to anxiety thoughts, and my self-judgment that turns a useful emotion like fear into a monster. I want to develop a healthy response to appropriate fear.
Kristin Roberts, Psychology, Grand Rapids, MI, USA says
A more present person with those around me
Susan Ridgway, Hammond, OR, USA says
I would create space between thoughts if I let go of fear. This would lead to more freedom for love and joy.
Suz L, Another Field, OC, MD, USA says
We need this more than ever today.
Ann Lewis, GB says
I find myself smiling . I feel myself expanding ,physically ,round my shoulders and neck and chest . I feel lighter and happy. I wish this could last!
Muriel M, Counseling, Portland, OR, USA says
I would be so much more free to give of myself to others and so much more open. Probably a lot less exhausted, too.
This is a very helpful question to ask of my adult clients. But what about children? What’s the best way to start this kind of exploration with them?
Thank you so much for this wonderful resource!
Wendy Blum, Counseling, Bellingham, WA, USA says
I would be free to let the real, unconditioned part of me lead. My true self.
Cindi Yoder, Coach, NJ, USA says
This is a wonderful tool! “Real but not true.” It is a great way to describe so many circumstances that I can get caught up in! And I can already feel how it could help me feel more at peace with myself & the world more often!
Barbara Parker, Health Education, Morriston , FL, USA says
Everything you said resonated with me! I love the phrase real but not true. I’ve felt unloved most of my life, but never connected it to my constant underlying fear.
Shannon Williams-Bramburger, Teacher, CA says
My TRUE self….
Char Slezak, Psychology, IL, USA says
Will ponder that question for myself. Will also that with clients. Especially like the phrase Real but not true
Dean Barber, Another Field, Cotati , CA, USA says
A more genuine, loving and playful person effecting positive change in the world.
Sandy C, Other, Bedford, MA, USA says
I would be a clearer/better mirror/window of the divine for both myself and others. I would breath and be and sleep more freely, directly and indirectly doing the same for others. And solve problems without creating more.
Chani Mayer, Coach, NY, NY, USA says
AMAZING WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT!!
I’m now working with a teenage girl who thinks she’s not good enough & I need to help her get out of this!!
Quite a challenge
Liliana Mori, Counseling, Santa Barbara , CA, USA says
I would start a new more active life less dependent on others’ opinions of me.
Pauline Passmore, GB says
My life would be filled with abundance and peace.
Mary Shanley, Another Field, NY, USA says
I would be a successful poet/writer.
Anna M Fierro, Nursing, Great Falls, VA, USA says
Without fear I would be a more loving, liberated woman.
Anonymous says
Love this 🌸
Rick Collins, Medicine, Salem, OR, USA says
I would be more consistently at peace and open all aspects of life.
Meredith Narissi, Other, Bluffton , SC, USA says
Thank you Tara. Without any awareness of fear I suppose I’d be less safe. However as you say acknowledging the fear allows us to distinguish what is most true vs unhealthy judgments and concerns. Without fear I would be acting with even more love in all situations and even in my own mind. 💖💖
Sue Sheehan, GB says
I want to be free. Stuck in a loop of anxiety I can’t get out of to do with past trauma
Antonio Pribaz, Psychotherapy, IT says
I could be in a real connection with the power of my inner resources and with the reality of the world.
Ke Zhao, Coach, USA says
I will put less blocks on my way and be able to try more endeavors and be happier.
Cathay Gibson, Teacher, CA says
A loving heart
Tina Deen, Coach, GB says
I want to say brave and courageous! But the fact is I’m not sure I’d know myself without fear. It is such a pervasive and unconscious part of me bow.
Roger, Other, Negaunee, MI, USA says
Someone I could trust
Dolores Wootton, CA says
I would be freer, more spontaneous in reaching out to others and forming friendships.
Anna Mustikka, Other, FI says
More productive, less stressed, freer version of me.
J. G., Other, CA says
I might be someone who can freely accept love when it is offered to her.