Knowing that my fears are largely how I choose to see a situation, I know I can reframe with a new attitude. Turn it into a learning opportunity. Trouble is it takes me a while to be able to do that and I suffer a lot in the meantime. In the meantime, I show up daily for my mindfulness practice of Centering Prayer to let go of my fears and to rest in love. I try to name what I’m scared of and hand it over to God, to the universe. And trust that I have within me the resilience and support to be uncomfortable and accept reality as it is. And then something will change and I will find that I was okay then and I’m okay now.
Nathalie Beland, Coach, West Hollywood, CA, USAsays
I tend to do EFT to deal with my fears when they show up…I feel the need to do something active because sitting with the discomfort increases the fear. I am very interested in trying something different like what you just proposed.
Merci,
excited for the next video
Nathalie B
Tara, Thank you for helping me to acknowledge the anxieties I have and often don’t admit I have. All my life I’ve tried to work for peace. Now at age 77 I’m tired yet I have lots of thoughts like “ I should be doing more. Then I feel guilty.
Practicing meditation and mindful helps me to let go and feel more peaceful.
Mostly I worry about how the world is becoming for millions of children, including my grand children. It’s difficult to retain the optimism I used to have.
Gillian Monserrat, Other, Pleasant Hill, CA, USAsays
I love the idea of accepting it and making room for it. I am about to start a new job and I am so anxious. When I look at it as fear based it is more concrete for some reason.
The idea of shame being fear based is also mind opening. I feel so much shame all the time for my selfishness but I want to tap into the fear underneath it. As always, thank you so much Tara- you give me hope I’m this life.
Redefining fear as a call to action helps me to try to consider what action I need to take and may be avoiding. This way fear becomes useful rather than crippling
Claire Westrick, Counseling, La Grange, IL, USAsays
As you said about stopping running away from the fear. For me that means spending some quiet moments alone (no phone, no tv, no activity) to be introspective about my feelings and thoughts. As I write this, I’m pausing to identify my most immediate fears and can already think of three.
getting intouch with their young courageous self…or curious adventurer.
acknowdedging the fear rather than avoiding it…befriending fear as a conscious reminder of human frailty and capacity to adapt.
Thanks very much for the video series!
For one, there’s a great quote from Mark Twain that helps put things into perspektive when feeling anxiety: “I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”
the word Willingness and praying for the willingness helps my process when I am having an insecure or worrisome moment. Practicing a Pause… asking for help and allowing self nurturing. This practice helps keep me in the present moment, reminding me that this moment is all there is, Let go and Let God.
it’s only since covid and moving house that fear has gripped me.
l now try to say to my feelings of fear that they are OK. but having acknowledged them then try and overcome them but that’s the difficulty…
I feel it wil most likely bring up my own fears .Understandong those fears will help me be more tuned in to the fears of my coaching and grief clients and be better able to recognize and help them work through their fear
Mary
Thankyou Tara. EFT Tapping helps me face fear and helps some of my singing students. Best of all is a chat and a hug from my wise younger sister. We allow each other’s vulnerability to shine so we can keep being kind to ourselves and others. I also love your RAIN meditations online, which help me be honest and compassionate with my fear, so I don’t get stuck. You help me go deeper to uncover layers that need healing attention. Thankyou so much for your wisdom and generosity. I have your books too. Louise.
1) Having a place of safety. Can’t face fear without a shield and a plan.
***2) Knowing what feelings of fear represent REAL danger and what are really 50/50 emotional-danger but not physical danger fears. Maybe the person won’t get mad and cut you from their life. And even if they do, your life and safety are not at risk. [You don’t rely on them; you’re not disabled from working to support yourself.]
In other words, MOST of the fears we focus on as therapists represent non-death-dealing fears. But – we have to be awake to fears stemming from real danger!
Using my breath as well as providing compassion and encouragement to myself.Trying to not catastrophize and asking myself that what I fear makes sense and how would I feel if I did not carry this fear in my body.
Dear Dr.Tach:
My faith in God helps me best to face fear. I find Richard Rohr
one of my favourite authors to inspire me. Nonetheless, I struggle with anxiety.
What is particularly challenging is that my brain wakes me at night for no “apparent reason”. I wish I knew how to shut off the vigilant mind; I am trying to face my fears during the day with writing ( eg evidence for thoughts and countering those concepts) exercise, prayer and volunteering. Is it possible to quiet the mind during the night?
Thanks Michael 🙏
Deep breathing. Visualization of fear being exhaled or radiating away vs calm being inhaled or descending on me. Shifting awareness from the fear tension in my chest or lower body to a different perspective of peace either in my head or even above my body. Questioning myself as to the true cause or source of fear and evaluation of the validity.
Thank you so much Tara for this important teaching! I have suffered from chronic anxiety since I was a young adult. Three things have helped me immensely: first, understanding that this is a very frequent suffering in our society; I am not alone in this! Secondly, practising facing my fears. And thirdly, and most important, a daily mindfulness practice. Mindfulness has helped me recognize fearful thoughts before they have a firm hold on me, and then I can recognize the thoughts, accept them, and let them go. As you said in your talk, running from fears only makes them worse. Facing them with kindness and self-compassion really works!
Fear is only a four letter word. Blow it away with your breath.
Tara Brac, and Katherine Nicolai’s sweet bedtime stories: “ Nothing Much Happens” and of course a very good friend who will listen…
I talk to myself as if I were my son, or a loved friend. I affirm my agency and ability to manage whatever I fear, reminding myself that the Universe (my Higher Power), only sends me what I need, and what I can handle
What helps me face fear is to realize my thoughts r not reality but stories I am making up. I also find being mindful and attempting to stay in the present and meditate. And lastly trusting that regardless of what happens, I and my loved ones will b ok.
Connecting with a good friend to share my thoughts. Journalling to try to access what’s happening. Being curious about the cause, the sensations and some possible actions. Taking some long deep breaths. Doing some yoga
Once a week therapy with Dr. Robert Naseef, Philadelphia, PA working on PTSD trauma. He suggested I add this to my Tara Brach daily meditations. Thank YOU.
Amanda Townsend, Another Field, CLINTON, UT, USAsays
By placing my hands on my chest and asking myself how I’m doing in there and then allowing whatever is there to come up and be with it with attention and compassion. It’s amazing what comes to the surface and I try to react with curiosity instead of fear. The well of grief feels never ending right now, but I also find peace being cultivated by knowing I’m acknowledging how I really feel- something I’ve never done.
Looking for the region in the body where fear appears, the sensations that are expressed at that very moment, going kindly in contact with it and wait. Listening, what it has to tell me and wait. Often I (or a client) find something clear that is beneath, something concrete of the past or the present. Being present and in contact with THAT in a kind way again….and so on untill the body can let go (often with tears, shivering…).
What helps me the most with my fear at this time in my life is just sitting with it. Not trying to control it or fix it. Just saying hello to my fear.
Knowing that my fears are largely how I choose to see a situation, I know I can reframe with a new attitude. Turn it into a learning opportunity. Trouble is it takes me a while to be able to do that and I suffer a lot in the meantime. In the meantime, I show up daily for my mindfulness practice of Centering Prayer to let go of my fears and to rest in love. I try to name what I’m scared of and hand it over to God, to the universe. And trust that I have within me the resilience and support to be uncomfortable and accept reality as it is. And then something will change and I will find that I was okay then and I’m okay now.
I tend to do EFT to deal with my fears when they show up…I feel the need to do something active because sitting with the discomfort increases the fear. I am very interested in trying something different like what you just proposed.
Merci,
excited for the next video
Nathalie B
When I see others doing what I fear and getting through it.
Mindfulness mediations
Affirmations
knowing life is short
reminding myself emotions are transient
encouragement from others
Tara, Thank you for helping me to acknowledge the anxieties I have and often don’t admit I have. All my life I’ve tried to work for peace. Now at age 77 I’m tired yet I have lots of thoughts like “ I should be doing more. Then I feel guilty.
Practicing meditation and mindful helps me to let go and feel more peaceful.
Mostly I worry about how the world is becoming for millions of children, including my grand children. It’s difficult to retain the optimism I used to have.
I love the idea of accepting it and making room for it. I am about to start a new job and I am so anxious. When I look at it as fear based it is more concrete for some reason.
The idea of shame being fear based is also mind opening. I feel so much shame all the time for my selfishness but I want to tap into the fear underneath it. As always, thank you so much Tara- you give me hope I’m this life.
Becoming aware the sensations of fear and learning to sit with it.
Redefining fear as a call to action helps me to try to consider what action I need to take and may be avoiding. This way fear becomes useful rather than crippling
I am actually still trying to find technics.
Recently I try to relax my body as in Tara’s meditations….
Journaling
Meditation
Prayer
Sharing
Encouragement
Calming myself with Breath, then looking at the situation rationally with the fewest stories as possible.
Practicing acceptance, learning mindfulness techniques, using RAIN technique, gratitude practice.
As you said about stopping running away from the fear. For me that means spending some quiet moments alone (no phone, no tv, no activity) to be introspective about my feelings and thoughts. As I write this, I’m pausing to identify my most immediate fears and can already think of three.
The RAIN meditation helps me tremendously. Thank you.
getting intouch with their young courageous self…or curious adventurer.
acknowdedging the fear rather than avoiding it…befriending fear as a conscious reminder of human frailty and capacity to adapt.
Knowing that we are not alone, and accepting that fear is a part if our humanness, that it us not shameful or a deficiency or lack in ourselves.
Thanks very much for the video series!
For one, there’s a great quote from Mark Twain that helps put things into perspektive when feeling anxiety: “I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”
the word Willingness and praying for the willingness helps my process when I am having an insecure or worrisome moment. Practicing a Pause… asking for help and allowing self nurturing. This practice helps keep me in the present moment, reminding me that this moment is all there is, Let go and Let God.
Kindness just kindness and acknowledgement of worthiness no matter what
it’s only since covid and moving house that fear has gripped me.
l now try to say to my feelings of fear that they are OK. but having acknowledged them then try and overcome them but that’s the difficulty…
I feel it wil most likely bring up my own fears .Understandong those fears will help me be more tuned in to the fears of my coaching and grief clients and be better able to recognize and help them work through their fear
Mary
action, it’s hard but if i do something anything it gives me back control xxx
Thankyou Tara. EFT Tapping helps me face fear and helps some of my singing students. Best of all is a chat and a hug from my wise younger sister. We allow each other’s vulnerability to shine so we can keep being kind to ourselves and others. I also love your RAIN meditations online, which help me be honest and compassionate with my fear, so I don’t get stuck. You help me go deeper to uncover layers that need healing attention. Thankyou so much for your wisdom and generosity. I have your books too. Louise.
Acceptance of the fear – of the way the fear is now and of the way it was previously.
Kindness
1) Having a place of safety. Can’t face fear without a shield and a plan.
***2) Knowing what feelings of fear represent REAL danger and what are really 50/50 emotional-danger but not physical danger fears. Maybe the person won’t get mad and cut you from their life. And even if they do, your life and safety are not at risk. [You don’t rely on them; you’re not disabled from working to support yourself.]
In other words, MOST of the fears we focus on as therapists represent non-death-dealing fears. But – we have to be awake to fears stemming from real danger!
Meditating with a supportive group, sharing feelings.
Using my breath as well as providing compassion and encouragement to myself.Trying to not catastrophize and asking myself that what I fear makes sense and how would I feel if I did not carry this fear in my body.
Dear Dr.Tach:
My faith in God helps me best to face fear. I find Richard Rohr
one of my favourite authors to inspire me. Nonetheless, I struggle with anxiety.
What is particularly challenging is that my brain wakes me at night for no “apparent reason”. I wish I knew how to shut off the vigilant mind; I am trying to face my fears during the day with writing ( eg evidence for thoughts and countering those concepts) exercise, prayer and volunteering. Is it possible to quiet the mind during the night?
Thanks Michael 🙏
to think which arguments stands against the fear, or searching for the reason the fear has, to protect me (searching for the love behind the fear)
Deep breathing. Visualization of fear being exhaled or radiating away vs calm being inhaled or descending on me. Shifting awareness from the fear tension in my chest or lower body to a different perspective of peace either in my head or even above my body. Questioning myself as to the true cause or source of fear and evaluation of the validity.
Talking with my partner, yoga, grounding, embracing my higher self – my light shadow.
I work in physical therapist. I help them to achieve physical goals with emotional support
Thank you so much Tara for this important teaching! I have suffered from chronic anxiety since I was a young adult. Three things have helped me immensely: first, understanding that this is a very frequent suffering in our society; I am not alone in this! Secondly, practising facing my fears. And thirdly, and most important, a daily mindfulness practice. Mindfulness has helped me recognize fearful thoughts before they have a firm hold on me, and then I can recognize the thoughts, accept them, and let them go. As you said in your talk, running from fears only makes them worse. Facing them with kindness and self-compassion really works!
Self-confidence helps face fear and also using your character strengths when you face adversity
“Hello Mara, would you like a cup of tea?”
Thanks Tára for your words. What helps the most is having safe space to share, acceptance of fear, breathing
Fear is only a four letter word. Blow it away with your breath.
Tara Brac, and Katherine Nicolai’s sweet bedtime stories: “ Nothing Much Happens” and of course a very good friend who will listen…
I talk to myself as if I were my son, or a loved friend. I affirm my agency and ability to manage whatever I fear, reminding myself that the Universe (my Higher Power), only sends me what I need, and what I can handle
Saying hello to it, and welcoming it.
doing the RAIN meditation.
Meditation and learning to over come my fear and discovering where it started.
What helps me face fear is to realize my thoughts r not reality but stories I am making up. I also find being mindful and attempting to stay in the present and meditate. And lastly trusting that regardless of what happens, I and my loved ones will b ok.
Connecting with a good friend to share my thoughts. Journalling to try to access what’s happening. Being curious about the cause, the sensations and some possible actions. Taking some long deep breaths. Doing some yoga
The book “Feel the Fear and Do ItAnyway”.
Support from within and outside
Once a week therapy with Dr. Robert Naseef, Philadelphia, PA working on PTSD trauma. He suggested I add this to my Tara Brach daily meditations. Thank YOU.
Using the RAIN meditation
By placing my hands on my chest and asking myself how I’m doing in there and then allowing whatever is there to come up and be with it with attention and compassion. It’s amazing what comes to the surface and I try to react with curiosity instead of fear. The well of grief feels never ending right now, but I also find peace being cultivated by knowing I’m acknowledging how I really feel- something I’ve never done.
Looking for the region in the body where fear appears, the sensations that are expressed at that very moment, going kindly in contact with it and wait. Listening, what it has to tell me and wait. Often I (or a client) find something clear that is beneath, something concrete of the past or the present. Being present and in contact with THAT in a kind way again….and so on untill the body can let go (often with tears, shivering…).
RAIN
Trusting Love