I use your work “radical acceptance and RAIN” it offers my clients profound results. It also empowers them to partake and have tools to work with their individuation process it encourages them to take responsibility towards transformation.
I agree that recognizing and accepting your fear is vitally important. Years ago when I was starting my training as a therapist, and still in university, I started to have panic attacks for the first time in my life. Fortunately, I was far enough along in my studies to have a name for what was happening. I discovered that panic attacks while unpleasant would resolve inside 10-15 minutes leaving me tired but capable again. Realizing that they were not controllable, but that they were time limited experiences of physical reactivity, allowed me to continue going on with my day- work or study- with the recognition that these incidents could occur, but without FEAR of them occurring . Onehappened in my hardest final exam, but I just waited it out and went on writing. I have found it very important to understand the physical quality of these experiences, and to allow my mind to accept the bodily reaction as something that is
sometimes natural and expectable, for example, before an interview.
At age 71, I have come to realize that my fear takes the form of counter-phobia. In other words, my fear has led me to take unnecessary risks that can overwhelm people even though the actions are typically “well-intended,” and I actually end up getting validation for many of them. I have learned to stop and analyze the energy behind a desire to act, (often a desire to speak out in a particular incident I interpret as socially unjust). When I identify a certain kind of energy I’d describe as “almost compulsive,” I have learned to not proceed with the intended action. I have, in the past couple of years, become much more effective as a speaker and a quiet leader, and I am better able to feel the love of the people around me. (Mediation, yoga, and poetry craft continue to be steady sources of calm and useful self-reflection.)
Thank you so much for this video series. When facing fears it helps me to first do some breathwork to calm my nervous system, and allow for any emotional release. Then to talk about it with someone, and if that’s not possible I journal or pray. And so on, continuously until there is more distance from the feelings and my physical body is calmer.
Thank you so much Tara for sharing these videos on Fear, you have a beautiful heart!
For me fear is connected with how to overcome situations and how to move forward. Although Trust and Hope are present, fear is persistent.
Thank you for your generosity and for sharing. I recognize what I am experiencing at the moment. I focus my breath on the area where I am feeling the sensation. Then sense what’s going on in and around the body. I will tap into how I feel towards it, send it love, and then investigate. RAIN and IFS unblinding help me to bring ease from whatever arises. I follow up with journaling and checking the in with the feelings or sensations until they dissipate.
Enjoyed listening to this and reflecting on my own practice. For me, it is very much a work in progress in embracing my fears. I tend to use mindful moments to notice my body sensations, and when I have more space to tap into the most prevalent thoughts (roots) that are coming up for me. This is when my acceptance and defusion techniques come in, where I can create some distance and unhook from the weight of my fears. Like I say though, a work in progress.
Relaxing into the moment of panic and breathing, sensing my body, while trying to relax more…releasing my tension… once I feel calm I remember again that I am not all fear …. And something opens … when I am „ working“ on some challenges I practice rain…. In acute situations I am not able to do rain… I just try to relax until I feel my ground again. Thank you Tara for your generous offer of this free workshop.
For me, it is my christian faith snd the courage to change my undesired situations (which produce fear). For my clients, I think it is the external support in the right environment that creates a safe space.
Hello Beloved Self.;)))
I am a Forgiveness Facilitator and I find that it is the past experiences that we carry as trauma and so the question I ask when was the first time you felt this way before and foe someone I worked with with her trauma and through Forgiveness from the heart as unconditional love and within hours her eyes have changed and she is at peace and able to overcome ADD.;))) I have been doing this Blessing for 20 years and I learn from others as well.;)))
Love is the answer.;))) alan.;)))
it is very heplfull. i just practice my daily méditation with your great vidéo about fear and i feel much better. My fear is here inside of me but quiet, cosy and resting. Thanks a lot
I loved a quote I read from Thich Nhat Hanh, in which he suggested to invite your fear to sit at your table as a welcome guest. I tried it one time when feeling a very overwhelming fear and it created space to look at it from a neutral and compassionate perspective.
Lynne Manning, Another Field, Rockport, ME, USAsays
Tara, How wonderful you have chosen this topic, because fear is there for everyone. Coincidentally, I had my own fear of speaking up in my Sangha, and I’m still dealing with it, but it is getting less, little by little. I need better skills to work on it, so these talks are very helpful. I have my own business and employees and have no trouble there, but I got very scared of speaking to my Sangha about myself. Only been in Sangha for 2-1/2 years. I know, much more intimate than work, and I kind of feel naked in Sangha. I get everything you have said in this first video, about welcoming fear and I’ve been working on that just in the last 6 months, but I can always use more help. I truly want to overcome this fear with my spiritual practice because the spiritual practice is the most important thing in my life. There is a connection of showing my inner, true self to people who I don’t know that well, and what will they think…so I realize there’s some deep stuff going on…thanks for these teachings, and I listen to almost every talk you give and am so grateful for you and your teachings, and Jonathan’s as well…..Much Love and Joy to You 💟
Sitting still and using my breath to slow my mind and become aware of being in the moment. Also taking time to remember RAIN thoughts which helps to identify underlying stress thoughts and emotions. Giving as much time as needed to feel rested, calm and relaxed
I do some visualisation and I think I’d see it as a certain shape and colour and maybe with a
loving breath imagine it dissolving gradually
Or maybe I’d do some tapping around it.
To connect with the heart to the feeling (/part of you that feels afraid), whilst also being in touch with who you are beyond that, and resources. And then investigate the fear and the source, which is often a thought. And to check this with reality and notice how that calms this fear. And then shift to becoming curious about reality and what you need or what is important for you to bring your energy and attention towards.
Recognizing the fear, and it’s physical manifestations and breathing through that. I shall now visualise it as but a wave in a very large ocean! Thank you Tara
Getting my awareness back to my breath, and using yoniso manasikara (wise reflection, or wise attention) . Knowing that everything is impermanent and this thoughts, emotions also will pass and have to be endured. Some fear is healthy, some isn’t. We can learn trust, the antidote of fear and catastrophising, from the breath. We do not have do do anything, still after the inbreath the outbreath will follow, after the outbreath the inbreath will come. To trust in the healthy outcome of things helps a lot. Having a positive attitude towards events and phenomena . Another thing that helps undemine the grip of fear is that is always related to the future. So being in the here and now, disengages, liberates us from fear.
It is necessary, i must admit to practice this ancient toolsets thaught by the Buddha in advance, not in a moment of crisis.
Train daily to develop mindfulness so you know what is hapoening in your body and in your mind. If not you will not be able to realise it and the limbic or habitual response or reaction will always sweep you away as it is faster as the neocartex response.
So you have to train. It’s hard work, but after a while you will benefit immensely from it.
I find these videos very useful for me and for the students to whom I will show them.
They are giving ways of contacting our inner parts with a kind and compassionate attitude, I will use them as samples of an aware possibility of development and growth.
Thanks!
Marina
Learning to recognise the signals that I am in Fight, Flight, Fear. Cultivating compassion for myself and opening my heart to include all beings. Easy. 😊
Thank you, I now understand Fight Flight Fear….and I recognise I’ve been doing this for years, post trauma. I will now start to stop and acknowledge this. Stay with it little by little. Thank you Tara
Thank you Tara for your words of wisdom, I struggle with fear and anxiety and I have found that if I become present to myself and watch my breath, this helps me to be grounded. I wish I could reach a place when I would no longer face the struggle, but I guess I am who I am.
My clients are mainly very poorly but mostly aged . I care for them .
I am also an English tutor (retired class teacher) My pupils are appreciative of extra help alongside their schooling . I take this responsibility seriously
I am trying to juggle all this with church work and a new marriage at 62 ! Listening to your words in the early mornings has been a priceless jewel since my divorce in 2016
my difficulty is that I am not aware I speak from fear when I raise my tone of voice,start being critical in a meeting, up to the point where a colleague tells me : give me a break,you keep criticising my proposals.then I apologise and realise I have been hypervigilant,imagining all the details that might go wrong..at that point I feel ashamed, but also alone,feeling others didn’t get my point. therefore my méditation practices do not help me because I am caught by surprise. thank you soo much for this seminar and all your heartfull meditations!
Dear Tara you have a real positive message and it has its benefits no doubt I spent 10 years in prison and 10 years in homelessness and am in recovery now so I have a bed now and your talking about the 4 virtues which is what self needs but with1 of the 3 self you have to be careful about er the three lusts for life the lust for power the lust for money and the lust for sex and that the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth ( is that 3 again strange that is’nt) its simple but we over complicate it usually because of 1 of the 3 lusts because we’re human and I was a very messed up person because of them three and it was my faith that was the missing piece in my recovery and as you said its action that makes you improve because talk is cheap but you really have to mind self a very wise man said to me who suffered from manic depression and used to We. loads of drugs for it but doesn’t now he said his depression was the lowest form of self pity and the only thing that got him out of it was the love of his family and friends👍 unconditional love its simple and basic its not about I its about We its simple for us complicated people and it took me 20years of waking in circles to figure that out😉👍
Nyla Dartt, Psychotherapy, Port Townsend, WA, USAsays
Meditating in a quiet space. Writing about it in my journals. Speaking to several trusted friends. Reflecting on its history…especially those times that fear stopped me from perusing my dreams. Attending 12 step meetings and listening to others share their stories.
Acknowledging its existence and that sometimes it feels overwhelming. I continue to learn how to tolerate/accept that often nothing is ‘wrong’, that I will survive and it will pass…and remember to breathe and release the contraction that fear usually brings.
Pam Short, Exercise Physiology, Pleasanton, CA, USAsays
Realizing that this too shall pass, knowing that times have been bad in the past and humanity prevails. Knowing that I am not alone and knowing that I can meditate, return to my breath and let the fear pass through.
I am just starting to realize that my anxiety has been so fear based— I have so much to learn from you Tara! I so appreciate that you are providing this accessible learning opportunity for us. Thank you
I have learned to try to stay in the present moment. The past is over and can no longer hurt me and the future is not here. In addition, I am practicing a positive mindfulness to counteract my more natural negative bias. It takes effort every day.
Dearest Tara,
I use your work “radical acceptance and RAIN” it offers my clients profound results. It also empowers them to partake and have tools to work with their individuation process it encourages them to take responsibility towards transformation.
Thank you, for the wonderful work that you offer.
RAIN has helped me a lot with anxiety and fear
you help me face the fear Tara
thank you
I agree that recognizing and accepting your fear is vitally important. Years ago when I was starting my training as a therapist, and still in university, I started to have panic attacks for the first time in my life. Fortunately, I was far enough along in my studies to have a name for what was happening. I discovered that panic attacks while unpleasant would resolve inside 10-15 minutes leaving me tired but capable again. Realizing that they were not controllable, but that they were time limited experiences of physical reactivity, allowed me to continue going on with my day- work or study- with the recognition that these incidents could occur, but without FEAR of them occurring . Onehappened in my hardest final exam, but I just waited it out and went on writing. I have found it very important to understand the physical quality of these experiences, and to allow my mind to accept the bodily reaction as something that is
sometimes natural and expectable, for example, before an interview.
I focus on the bigger picture!
The universal vastness of it all.
Community
Helping a client differentiate between present time and past time and future time has been a very important start to facing fear
At age 71, I have come to realize that my fear takes the form of counter-phobia. In other words, my fear has led me to take unnecessary risks that can overwhelm people even though the actions are typically “well-intended,” and I actually end up getting validation for many of them. I have learned to stop and analyze the energy behind a desire to act, (often a desire to speak out in a particular incident I interpret as socially unjust). When I identify a certain kind of energy I’d describe as “almost compulsive,” I have learned to not proceed with the intended action. I have, in the past couple of years, become much more effective as a speaker and a quiet leader, and I am better able to feel the love of the people around me. (Mediation, yoga, and poetry craft continue to be steady sources of calm and useful self-reflection.)
Thank you so much for this video series. When facing fears it helps me to first do some breathwork to calm my nervous system, and allow for any emotional release. Then to talk about it with someone, and if that’s not possible I journal or pray. And so on, continuously until there is more distance from the feelings and my physical body is calmer.
As a start point, exploring gently around the edges of the fear 🌻
I have started doing EFT and that has helped a lot.
Thank you so much Tara for sharing these videos on Fear, you have a beautiful heart!
For me fear is connected with how to overcome situations and how to move forward. Although Trust and Hope are present, fear is persistent.
To connect myself with my Inner Child.
Thank you for your generosity and for sharing. I recognize what I am experiencing at the moment. I focus my breath on the area where I am feeling the sensation. Then sense what’s going on in and around the body. I will tap into how I feel towards it, send it love, and then investigate. RAIN and IFS unblinding help me to bring ease from whatever arises. I follow up with journaling and checking the in with the feelings or sensations until they dissipate.
Enjoyed listening to this and reflecting on my own practice. For me, it is very much a work in progress in embracing my fears. I tend to use mindful moments to notice my body sensations, and when I have more space to tap into the most prevalent thoughts (roots) that are coming up for me. This is when my acceptance and defusion techniques come in, where I can create some distance and unhook from the weight of my fears. Like I say though, a work in progress.
Hi 👋
it goes deep into the heart ❤️
Relaxing into the moment of panic and breathing, sensing my body, while trying to relax more…releasing my tension… once I feel calm I remember again that I am not all fear …. And something opens … when I am „ working“ on some challenges I practice rain…. In acute situations I am not able to do rain… I just try to relax until I feel my ground again. Thank you Tara for your generous offer of this free workshop.
For me, it is my christian faith snd the courage to change my undesired situations (which produce fear). For my clients, I think it is the external support in the right environment that creates a safe space.
Hello Beloved Self.;)))
I am a Forgiveness Facilitator and I find that it is the past experiences that we carry as trauma and so the question I ask when was the first time you felt this way before and foe someone I worked with with her trauma and through Forgiveness from the heart as unconditional love and within hours her eyes have changed and she is at peace and able to overcome ADD.;))) I have been doing this Blessing for 20 years and I learn from others as well.;)))
Love is the answer.;))) alan.;)))
I face it, sit with it and breathe.
For self, facing it full on, but there is is the anxiety that it could happen again.
it is very heplfull. i just practice my daily méditation with your great vidéo about fear and i feel much better. My fear is here inside of me but quiet, cosy and resting. Thanks a lot
I loved a quote I read from Thich Nhat Hanh, in which he suggested to invite your fear to sit at your table as a welcome guest. I tried it one time when feeling a very overwhelming fear and it created space to look at it from a neutral and compassionate perspective.
Tara, How wonderful you have chosen this topic, because fear is there for everyone. Coincidentally, I had my own fear of speaking up in my Sangha, and I’m still dealing with it, but it is getting less, little by little. I need better skills to work on it, so these talks are very helpful. I have my own business and employees and have no trouble there, but I got very scared of speaking to my Sangha about myself. Only been in Sangha for 2-1/2 years. I know, much more intimate than work, and I kind of feel naked in Sangha. I get everything you have said in this first video, about welcoming fear and I’ve been working on that just in the last 6 months, but I can always use more help. I truly want to overcome this fear with my spiritual practice because the spiritual practice is the most important thing in my life. There is a connection of showing my inner, true self to people who I don’t know that well, and what will they think…so I realize there’s some deep stuff going on…thanks for these teachings, and I listen to almost every talk you give and am so grateful for you and your teachings, and Jonathan’s as well…..Much Love and Joy to You 💟
Sitting still and using my breath to slow my mind and become aware of being in the moment. Also taking time to remember RAIN thoughts which helps to identify underlying stress thoughts and emotions. Giving as much time as needed to feel rested, calm and relaxed
Practicing RAIN over and over again. And Tara has done a beautiful job with the idea of “After the rain .”
I do some visualisation and I think I’d see it as a certain shape and colour and maybe with a
loving breath imagine it dissolving gradually
Or maybe I’d do some tapping around it.
Thank you for all you do x
To connect with the heart to the feeling (/part of you that feels afraid), whilst also being in touch with who you are beyond that, and resources. And then investigate the fear and the source, which is often a thought. And to check this with reality and notice how that calms this fear. And then shift to becoming curious about reality and what you need or what is important for you to bring your energy and attention towards.
Recognizing the fear, and it’s physical manifestations and breathing through that. I shall now visualise it as but a wave in a very large ocean! Thank you Tara
Remembering it will pass
Getting my awareness back to my breath, and using yoniso manasikara (wise reflection, or wise attention) . Knowing that everything is impermanent and this thoughts, emotions also will pass and have to be endured. Some fear is healthy, some isn’t. We can learn trust, the antidote of fear and catastrophising, from the breath. We do not have do do anything, still after the inbreath the outbreath will follow, after the outbreath the inbreath will come. To trust in the healthy outcome of things helps a lot. Having a positive attitude towards events and phenomena . Another thing that helps undemine the grip of fear is that is always related to the future. So being in the here and now, disengages, liberates us from fear.
It is necessary, i must admit to practice this ancient toolsets thaught by the Buddha in advance, not in a moment of crisis.
Train daily to develop mindfulness so you know what is hapoening in your body and in your mind. If not you will not be able to realise it and the limbic or habitual response or reaction will always sweep you away as it is faster as the neocartex response.
So you have to train. It’s hard work, but after a while you will benefit immensely from it.
I find these videos very useful for me and for the students to whom I will show them.
They are giving ways of contacting our inner parts with a kind and compassionate attitude, I will use them as samples of an aware possibility of development and growth.
Thanks!
Marina
Nature. Every time 🙂
Breathing, meditation, understanding. Often with me, fear, or anxiety arises for no apparent reason and it can freeze me.
Learning to recognise the signals that I am in Fight, Flight, Fear. Cultivating compassion for myself and opening my heart to include all beings. Easy. 😊
Thank you, I now understand Fight Flight Fear….and I recognise I’ve been doing this for years, post trauma. I will now start to stop and acknowledge this. Stay with it little by little. Thank you Tara
Meditation on security and love❤️
Thank you Tara for your words of wisdom, I struggle with fear and anxiety and I have found that if I become present to myself and watch my breath, this helps me to be grounded. I wish I could reach a place when I would no longer face the struggle, but I guess I am who I am.
Julz
My clients are mainly very poorly but mostly aged . I care for them .
I am also an English tutor (retired class teacher) My pupils are appreciative of extra help alongside their schooling . I take this responsibility seriously
I am trying to juggle all this with church work and a new marriage at 62 ! Listening to your words in the early mornings has been a priceless jewel since my divorce in 2016
Being aware of it and how debilitating it can be.
my difficulty is that I am not aware I speak from fear when I raise my tone of voice,start being critical in a meeting, up to the point where a colleague tells me : give me a break,you keep criticising my proposals.then I apologise and realise I have been hypervigilant,imagining all the details that might go wrong..at that point I feel ashamed, but also alone,feeling others didn’t get my point. therefore my méditation practices do not help me because I am caught by surprise. thank you soo much for this seminar and all your heartfull meditations!
Facing fear is tough though I am getting better at it day by day by calming myself and doing some mindfulness activities. Thanks for sharing Tara!
Dear Tara you have a real positive message and it has its benefits no doubt I spent 10 years in prison and 10 years in homelessness and am in recovery now so I have a bed now and your talking about the 4 virtues which is what self needs but with1 of the 3 self you have to be careful about er the three lusts for life the lust for power the lust for money and the lust for sex and that the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth ( is that 3 again strange that is’nt) its simple but we over complicate it usually because of 1 of the 3 lusts because we’re human and I was a very messed up person because of them three and it was my faith that was the missing piece in my recovery and as you said its action that makes you improve because talk is cheap but you really have to mind self a very wise man said to me who suffered from manic depression and used to We. loads of drugs for it but doesn’t now he said his depression was the lowest form of self pity and the only thing that got him out of it was the love of his family and friends👍 unconditional love its simple and basic its not about I its about We its simple for us complicated people and it took me 20years of waking in circles to figure that out😉👍
Hi
Yes it absolutely correct.
Meditating in a quiet space. Writing about it in my journals. Speaking to several trusted friends. Reflecting on its history…especially those times that fear stopped me from perusing my dreams. Attending 12 step meetings and listening to others share their stories.
I try to stay calm and just look for solutions
Acknowledging its existence and that sometimes it feels overwhelming. I continue to learn how to tolerate/accept that often nothing is ‘wrong’, that I will survive and it will pass…and remember to breathe and release the contraction that fear usually brings.
Nick W, Bristol UK
Realizing that this too shall pass, knowing that times have been bad in the past and humanity prevails. Knowing that I am not alone and knowing that I can meditate, return to my breath and let the fear pass through.
Be aware of the fear, relax/breathe a few moments, and then be willing to take that first baby step in whatever I need to do.
I am just starting to realize that my anxiety has been so fear based— I have so much to learn from you Tara! I so appreciate that you are providing this accessible learning opportunity for us. Thank you
I have learned to try to stay in the present moment. The past is over and can no longer hurt me and the future is not here. In addition, I am practicing a positive mindfulness to counteract my more natural negative bias. It takes effort every day.