Thank you Tara, everything you said relates to how I feel….most of the time. I am a recovered alcoholic (12 years sober), but at this time i feel like a “dry drunk” and have reverted back with living fearful. Fear keeps me from living the life I deserve to be living, keeps me stuck, keeps me from being creative, eating properly, destroys relationships, keeps me alone by myself. I know there is a way out, just find i can’t seem to find the help i need. I look forward to listening to your next video “chronic anxiety”. Thank you for all you do for the community…world wide! I adore you!
Belonging to a weekly support group that practices showing up authentically and begins with a short period of meditation, taking time to mindfully feel kindness towards what arrives, even when I can’t identify the emotional layers or simply need to sit with sensations that are uncomfortable, allowing my breath to meet them.
Perhaps best at the moment for relieving my anxiety when the fear closes in is moving my body in slow, grace-giving improvised movements that slow my mind chatter, deepen my breath into relaxing tension in my body, free a sense of inner creativity and allow me to feel inwardly led to peace.
Taj Guzzardo, Another Field, Rockford, IL, USAsays
it helps me to face fear when I can talk to somebody about it – especially my sister or my old therapist. it is also very helpful to hear what you have to say because I trust you dear Tara. you are shining light for me
John Rauschkolb II, Another Field, San Francisco, CA, USAsays
I reassess my ego and bring my “self” into a rational perspective in relation to the circumstances and the world around me. Allowing a bit of humility to help calibrate the ego is a refreshing method to allow me to regain that reasonable sense of rational perspective which most often brings clarity to who I am and where I fit into the here and now.
Beth Feckter, Another Field, Shoreview, MN, USAsays
If I talk about my fear with a trusted friend, the fear lessens. Also, if I find out facts about whatever causes my fear, I can more easily let the fear go.
I am an ophthalmologist and do no work with such a topic. For me it helps if I I stand quite and look in the eyes of fear. or to discuss with close friend or even therapist.
There are several things that I use for dealing with fear: step ladder approach for physical things or events that I am afraid of.
Mindfulness – parsing out the fear into thoughts, sensations, emotions, impulses to act
Reminding myself: “oh fear is here. its ok. I can be with this”
opposite action (from DBT) when fear is ineffective or out of context in terms of intensity or duration. (approach not avoiding, changing my posture, notice how I am safe, observe objectively what I am afraid of)
Thanks for your video
what helps me face fear is connecting to the ground underneath me and rising up from it – kind of at the same time – there is a sense of grounding down and rising up simultaneously in the vertical plan that helps me in scary situations …. I work with unhoused folks on the street and folks who live in ‘drug dens’ basically and will often have to go into some potentially unsafe and always unpredicatable environments . This helps me alot. What also helps – if things are getting dicey, is to surround myself in light . Thanks Tara , for this teaching . I am a big fan. Cheers
Remembering that I am not alone and do not have to face fear alone. Remaining present while clients courageously allow themselves to touch into the fear they are experiencing and naming it seems to help.
Thanks for this Tara…..I would say that a simple technique that I use when I’m ‘pre occupied’ with myself is I will strike up conversations with strangers, in line ups, in airport lounges, at the barber, in laundromats. Mind you I live in a large urban Canadian city, so it may be different depending on geography. Based on how differently people respond to my “Hello…how’s your day going?” I can see the same process of tentativeness and the desire to ‘connect’ in other people. We all want to be seen and yet we also seemingly want to be invisible or anyonymous. Usually I’ll get a range of responses, but some are so remarkably spontaneous and humorous that it never fails to confirm to me that if more people did this we could really see the better side of humanity…. that ‘we’re all the same’ in the sense of wanting connection but also resisting the feelings of opening up. It’s risky of course, because some people are just rude or overly suspicious. But all in all it helps to get my mind off myself and no too people’s responses are exactly the same.
Rana Fryer, Health Education, San Diego, CA, USAsays
I have a great deal of difficulty walking too far from home, so the fear affects my well being. It seems to have become agoraphobic over the years, more so during the pandemic, which added additional fears. I work on it weekly with my therapist, but she is of the ‘stream of consciousness’ therapy, and it seems all I do is talk about it with little resolution! Thank you for putting these videos out there.
1)Diverting my thoughts to a more positive issue is one way i face fear
2) Involving in an activity where i am extremely busy and using all my Skiils helps in alleviating my fear
3) i have tried looking ( feeling ) at fear and kept focusing on it until it went away
4) Telling myself that “This too shall pass ” helps me
I better face fear since I accepted this life as an ending process…while working with dying people.
Hoping to be capable to let things go. I practice this in meditation.
Less fest of death brings less fear in daily life.
With kind regards
Sometimes I imagine the worst case scenario. When I do that, and know that I can survive even the worst outcome, I can face my fear knowing that it won’t be easy, but I will be okay.
Stopping, breathing, recognizing what thoughts are running me.
Walking in Nature, feeling connected with something deeper.
Remembering and trusting the One within.
Accessing the wisdom of people like you!
Thank you Tara for your generosity.🙏🏼🌎
Awareness of the feelings/sensations arising inside my body & then going within & asking the fear what do you need? I have been learning to do this with all troubling emotions. Connecting to it. Acknowledging it & holding space for it. See it. Hear it. Acknowledging it. Then I wait for a response.
Then we can work together on how best to help. It’s a process to be repeated & repeated together, connecting & sorting through the sensations, feelings & what I need in that moment. Building trust with the fear that together, we’ve got this. How best can we work together? Getting still, Connecting heart, mind, body & all the sensations- calming them, totally present with them, & knowing that the wisdom will follow, & trusting in that. If I need to take action, I am guided to do so. Or do I just need to be with myself & let the fear flow & let peace re-emerge within? My higher power will guide me & offer the solution for the higher good for all. Being patient, kind & loving throughout the process every time. Thank you for this refresher. 🙏
What helps me is, like you mentioned, acceptance of my fear, acceptance that it is not a weak or bad thing to have fear. That it is a part of me and if I accept it it wil become less threatening.
Best,
Michael
There’s always a little something to try…eventually something will work. Keep going with Tara’s videos. I love her teachings and approaches. Hang in there.
Dear Glenis, you touch my heart. It can feel so alone at times, please know you are not alone, even if you just know it in a small way for now. I care for you, many others too. Reach out and keep reaching out, take small steps, keep looking, you will find something better, something good. Holding you in my heart, wishing you your hearts desires, and all that is good
This is very helpful as I anticipate a meeting later today with a client who is struggling with fear. I will definitely use some of these analogies and examples. Thank you!
Nothing. Fear is my worst enemy when it strikes. I have a chronic, progressive type of leukemia, and creating art i my greatest solace. But fear when it strikes paralyzes my creativity.
Stilness helps me the most. In it I become more accepting and more kind to my inner critic.
Thank you Tara. Your gentle and generous offer touched me deeply.
Kindly,
Vicky N
Blending my awareness of my fears with me . scanning the body sensation. Compassion and a gentle inquiry of the inner body feelings. Resting into what my mind is saying within my body. Thank you for your gift you greatly share.
I try to put my fears in a larger context, remembering that so often things I fearfully anticipate don’t even come to pass or come out the way I imagined.
Maria Smih, Counseling, Fredericksburg, VA, USAsays
What helps me to face fear is to first notice I am feeling afraid and my mind is churning. Then I seek out support and connection; I reach out to trusted loved ones. I also offer myself gestures and words of kindness and I breathe with it.
Tara, I am so grateful for your teachings. I continue to learn and grow as I listen and practice. I have had anxiety for decades. It first developed in my late teens when I graduated from high school and was facing what to do with the rest of my life. I was left without much parent guidance and my young inexperienced, self trying to figure it out. As a result I carried anxiety and fear with me always. I suppressed it, ignored it, became depressed, became afraid of it when it reappeared usually stronger than before. It was crippling to me at one point. I have blamed and shamed myself over it and have done the behaviors you mention when in flight, fight, freeze. I am now 71 and have a daily (sometimes hourly) practitioner of your teachings. Thank you so much for what you do. One day it occurred to me that my inner compass has always been there nagging me away from harm and toward a desire for something more peaceful, loving and joyful. That was comforting to me. It was a realization that I am not alone and I have always had within me the knowledge of what I most need to find peace and joy if I only quiet myself, get in touch and listen. May I continue to learn, may I continue to grow. Namaste
Sitting quietly, listening underneath the distraction of my busy mind. Allowing the many thoughts and attachments to be present. Trusting myself to walk forward more slowly to understand whats there. Reminders of the flow of my feelings, this too will change, like the waves in the ocean.
I like to befriend my fear and it helps to view it as a protective strategy which arises naturally when threat is perceived. I like to notice it, allow it, sit with it, and enquire what it’s protecting me from. I also thank it for showing up and being such a loyal guardian almost like my personal bodyguard alert to any possibility of threat or danger. When I do this I feel calmer and more in control of what’s happening inside me. I also thank my body for it’s instantaneous automatic response to perceived threat and recognise how well it’s doing it’s job. I realise how fortunate I am to have such amazing resources within.
I like to work this way with clients too, helping them to own what’s happening as a safe way to be in the world, even when that way of being is crippled with disowned anxiety and fear, seeing both as something to eradicate and disown rather than accepting them as important messengers about the perceived environment they can find themselves in. I think learning to mindfully step into acceptance of what is, is a key first step, and one that has to be practised many times before the next step appears.
Thank you for this video and I’m looking forward to the next.
Leslie Reid, Other, CA says
Thank you Tara, everything you said relates to how I feel….most of the time. I am a recovered alcoholic (12 years sober), but at this time i feel like a “dry drunk” and have reverted back with living fearful. Fear keeps me from living the life I deserve to be living, keeps me stuck, keeps me from being creative, eating properly, destroys relationships, keeps me alone by myself. I know there is a way out, just find i can’t seem to find the help i need. I look forward to listening to your next video “chronic anxiety”. Thank you for all you do for the community…world wide! I adore you!
Lynda Perry, Counseling, CA says
Belonging to a weekly support group that practices showing up authentically and begins with a short period of meditation, taking time to mindfully feel kindness towards what arrives, even when I can’t identify the emotional layers or simply need to sit with sensations that are uncomfortable, allowing my breath to meet them.
Perhaps best at the moment for relieving my anxiety when the fear closes in is moving my body in slow, grace-giving improvised movements that slow my mind chatter, deepen my breath into relaxing tension in my body, free a sense of inner creativity and allow me to feel inwardly led to peace.
Victoria Cortina, Counseling, Crown Point, IN, USA says
Talking about my fear and facing it.
Carolyn Zeliff, Counseling, Lady Lake, FL, USA says
I am a retired MSW Social Worker, age 80.
I pray and meditate every day. I am afraid to make a decision re moving to a (CCRC) facility
Ali Hender, Counseling, GB says
Being outside and observing nature. Breathing in the air and considering my breath, especially if i can be outside.
I wonder about how to support very traumatised clients with breath work as this can be really tough for them.
Taj Guzzardo, Another Field, Rockford, IL, USA says
it helps me to face fear when I can talk to somebody about it – especially my sister or my old therapist. it is also very helpful to hear what you have to say because I trust you dear Tara. you are shining light for me
Jan Harrison, Social Work, GB says
Thank you Tara.
Anything that encourages and sustains trust that ‘all is well in truth’ and we are never alone ❤️🙏❤️
Regina Bair, Other, Ephrata , PA, USA says
Sitting with the uncomfortable feelings and welcoming them. Thanking them for whatever they are there to reveal!!!
John Rauschkolb II, Another Field, San Francisco, CA, USA says
I reassess my ego and bring my “self” into a rational perspective in relation to the circumstances and the world around me. Allowing a bit of humility to help calibrate the ego is a refreshing method to allow me to regain that reasonable sense of rational perspective which most often brings clarity to who I am and where I fit into the here and now.
Diane Hadden, Another Field, GB says
Accepting that fear is part of life and there are reasons for its existence. Taking the fear out of fear reduces the grip it has on your life.
Brooke H, Another Field, Alexandria, VA, USA says
meditation for self-love, leaning on deep connections I have with others
K Minden, Other, CA says
Eating crunchy cookies, meditating, watching humorous videos, researching facts, walking outside, swimming, being with family and friends.
Beth Feckter, Another Field, Shoreview, MN, USA says
If I talk about my fear with a trusted friend, the fear lessens. Also, if I find out facts about whatever causes my fear, I can more easily let the fear go.
Henrietta Dahlstrom, Social Work, Silver Spring, MD, USA says
repeating the mantra “All will be well”
taking deep breath
Vera Litricin, Nursing, RS says
I am an ophthalmologist and do no work with such a topic. For me it helps if I I stand quite and look in the eyes of fear. or to discuss with close friend or even therapist.
Marcia SLOGER, Teacher, Beltsville, MD, USA says
I am not aware of a proper answer to this question.
S L, Another Field, CA says
There are several things that I use for dealing with fear: step ladder approach for physical things or events that I am afraid of.
Mindfulness – parsing out the fear into thoughts, sensations, emotions, impulses to act
Reminding myself: “oh fear is here. its ok. I can be with this”
opposite action (from DBT) when fear is ineffective or out of context in terms of intensity or duration. (approach not avoiding, changing my posture, notice how I am safe, observe objectively what I am afraid of)
Thanks for your video
lisa h, Counseling, CA says
what helps me face fear is connecting to the ground underneath me and rising up from it – kind of at the same time – there is a sense of grounding down and rising up simultaneously in the vertical plan that helps me in scary situations …. I work with unhoused folks on the street and folks who live in ‘drug dens’ basically and will often have to go into some potentially unsafe and always unpredicatable environments . This helps me alot. What also helps – if things are getting dicey, is to surround myself in light . Thanks Tara , for this teaching . I am a big fan. Cheers
P, Psychotherapy, 1, CA, USA says
Remembering that I am not alone and do not have to face fear alone. Remaining present while clients courageously allow themselves to touch into the fear they are experiencing and naming it seems to help.
Richard Vassallo, Counseling, CA says
Thanks for this Tara…..I would say that a simple technique that I use when I’m ‘pre occupied’ with myself is I will strike up conversations with strangers, in line ups, in airport lounges, at the barber, in laundromats. Mind you I live in a large urban Canadian city, so it may be different depending on geography. Based on how differently people respond to my “Hello…how’s your day going?” I can see the same process of tentativeness and the desire to ‘connect’ in other people. We all want to be seen and yet we also seemingly want to be invisible or anyonymous. Usually I’ll get a range of responses, but some are so remarkably spontaneous and humorous that it never fails to confirm to me that if more people did this we could really see the better side of humanity…. that ‘we’re all the same’ in the sense of wanting connection but also resisting the feelings of opening up. It’s risky of course, because some people are just rude or overly suspicious. But all in all it helps to get my mind off myself and no too people’s responses are exactly the same.
Rana Fryer, Health Education, San Diego, CA, USA says
I have a great deal of difficulty walking too far from home, so the fear affects my well being. It seems to have become agoraphobic over the years, more so during the pandemic, which added additional fears. I work on it weekly with my therapist, but she is of the ‘stream of consciousness’ therapy, and it seems all I do is talk about it with little resolution! Thank you for putting these videos out there.
Peter Jordan, Another Field, GB says
Feeling the feelings and emotions.
jaisimha MS, Another Field, IN says
1)Diverting my thoughts to a more positive issue is one way i face fear
2) Involving in an activity where i am extremely busy and using all my Skiils helps in alleviating my fear
3) i have tried looking ( feeling ) at fear and kept focusing on it until it went away
4) Telling myself that “This too shall pass ” helps me
Judith Sarach, Social Work, DE says
I better face fear since I accepted this life as an ending process…while working with dying people.
Hoping to be capable to let things go. I practice this in meditation.
Less fest of death brings less fear in daily life.
With kind regards
Tara T, Other, CA says
Sometimes I imagine the worst case scenario. When I do that, and know that I can survive even the worst outcome, I can face my fear knowing that it won’t be easy, but I will be okay.
Mary Anne Y, Nursing, Auburn , CA, USA says
Stopping, breathing, recognizing what thoughts are running me.
Walking in Nature, feeling connected with something deeper.
Remembering and trusting the One within.
Accessing the wisdom of people like you!
Thank you Tara for your generosity.🙏🏼🌎
Gloria Badella, Social Work, Lansing, MI, USA says
I Want to use this workshop to help center my fear of living with chronic Illness .
Rita Grube, Teacher, Columbus, IN, USA says
Awareness of the feelings/sensations arising inside my body & then going within & asking the fear what do you need? I have been learning to do this with all troubling emotions. Connecting to it. Acknowledging it & holding space for it. See it. Hear it. Acknowledging it. Then I wait for a response.
Then we can work together on how best to help. It’s a process to be repeated & repeated together, connecting & sorting through the sensations, feelings & what I need in that moment. Building trust with the fear that together, we’ve got this. How best can we work together? Getting still, Connecting heart, mind, body & all the sensations- calming them, totally present with them, & knowing that the wisdom will follow, & trusting in that. If I need to take action, I am guided to do so. Or do I just need to be with myself & let the fear flow & let peace re-emerge within? My higher power will guide me & offer the solution for the higher good for all. Being patient, kind & loving throughout the process every time. Thank you for this refresher. 🙏
Patricia Wal, Nursing, Media , PA, USA says
My belief in God. His loving Presence allows me to have courage and to dive into the deep.
Vivian Delvalle, Other, CA says
Thanks Tara!
I’ve been meditating everyday, for 16 min, since January 2023.
It’s helping me to be grounded and present.
Victoria Gold, Other, MX says
Talking about my anxiety with my beloved and nonjudgmental partner
Michael D, Psychotherapy, NL says
What helps me is, like you mentioned, acceptance of my fear, acceptance that it is not a weak or bad thing to have fear. That it is a part of me and if I accept it it wil become less threatening.
Best,
Michael
Brianna Landes, Another Field, Sausalito, CA, USA says
Invitations from others help me face fear.. breathing deep and reassuring myself helps too I think.
Glenis Koehne, Other, Sunnyvale , CA, USA says
I haven’t found a solution yet. I am alone now. Feel there is no future.
Hedy Hep, Another Field, CA says
There’s always a little something to try…eventually something will work. Keep going with Tara’s videos. I love her teachings and approaches. Hang in there.
Annie Carter, Other, AU says
Dear Glenis, you touch my heart. It can feel so alone at times, please know you are not alone, even if you just know it in a small way for now. I care for you, many others too. Reach out and keep reaching out, take small steps, keep looking, you will find something better, something good. Holding you in my heart, wishing you your hearts desires, and all that is good
Maria Daniela Lisboa, Other, CL says
Calm breathing jelps me a lot
Gina Moore, Social Work, McDonough, GA, USA says
This is very helpful as I anticipate a meeting later today with a client who is struggling with fear. I will definitely use some of these analogies and examples. Thank you!
Maria Engdal, Physical Therapy, SE says
Kind precens, curiosity and heartfelt courage
James Head, Other, CA says
Letting someone else know about my fear. Someone who is safe. Talking about it seems to lessen the hold it has on me.
Carolyn Winschel, Teacher, Allison Park, PA, USA says
I know what fear is and I have tried many different ways of approaching it.
Carolyn Winschel, Other, Allison Park, PA, USA says
Trying to calm myself down. Sometimes, I go immediately to anxiety which I have experienced for most of my life!
Georgia Copeland, Social Work, Overland Park, KS, USA says
Meditation. Sitting quietly trying to practice equanimity.
June Fox, Another Field, Larchmont, NY, USA says
Nothing. Fear is my worst enemy when it strikes. I have a chronic, progressive type of leukemia, and creating art i my greatest solace. But fear when it strikes paralyzes my creativity.
Vicky Nes, Other, Northbrook , IL, USA says
Stilness helps me the most. In it I become more accepting and more kind to my inner critic.
Thank you Tara. Your gentle and generous offer touched me deeply.
Kindly,
Vicky N
Marion Hoop, Another Field, CA says
Blending my awareness of my fears with me . scanning the body sensation. Compassion and a gentle inquiry of the inner body feelings. Resting into what my mind is saying within my body. Thank you for your gift you greatly share.
Eleanor Fay, Another Field, lopez, WA, USA says
I try to put my fears in a larger context, remembering that so often things I fearfully anticipate don’t even come to pass or come out the way I imagined.
Merri Fahey, Coach, AU says
breathing in a quiet calm way, thinking of a known person who is cool & confident
Maria Smih, Counseling, Fredericksburg, VA, USA says
What helps me to face fear is to first notice I am feeling afraid and my mind is churning. Then I seek out support and connection; I reach out to trusted loved ones. I also offer myself gestures and words of kindness and I breathe with it.
Susan Pratten, Psychology, CA says
solitude
Gail Hogue, Another Field, Atlanta, GA, USA says
Tara, I am so grateful for your teachings. I continue to learn and grow as I listen and practice. I have had anxiety for decades. It first developed in my late teens when I graduated from high school and was facing what to do with the rest of my life. I was left without much parent guidance and my young inexperienced, self trying to figure it out. As a result I carried anxiety and fear with me always. I suppressed it, ignored it, became depressed, became afraid of it when it reappeared usually stronger than before. It was crippling to me at one point. I have blamed and shamed myself over it and have done the behaviors you mention when in flight, fight, freeze. I am now 71 and have a daily (sometimes hourly) practitioner of your teachings. Thank you so much for what you do. One day it occurred to me that my inner compass has always been there nagging me away from harm and toward a desire for something more peaceful, loving and joyful. That was comforting to me. It was a realization that I am not alone and I have always had within me the knowledge of what I most need to find peace and joy if I only quiet myself, get in touch and listen. May I continue to learn, may I continue to grow. Namaste
Lori Vance, Psychotherapy, Milwaukee, WI, USA says
Sitting quietly, listening underneath the distraction of my busy mind. Allowing the many thoughts and attachments to be present. Trusting myself to walk forward more slowly to understand whats there. Reminders of the flow of my feelings, this too will change, like the waves in the ocean.
Anne Fenlon, Counseling, IE says
I like to befriend my fear and it helps to view it as a protective strategy which arises naturally when threat is perceived. I like to notice it, allow it, sit with it, and enquire what it’s protecting me from. I also thank it for showing up and being such a loyal guardian almost like my personal bodyguard alert to any possibility of threat or danger. When I do this I feel calmer and more in control of what’s happening inside me. I also thank my body for it’s instantaneous automatic response to perceived threat and recognise how well it’s doing it’s job. I realise how fortunate I am to have such amazing resources within.
I like to work this way with clients too, helping them to own what’s happening as a safe way to be in the world, even when that way of being is crippled with disowned anxiety and fear, seeing both as something to eradicate and disown rather than accepting them as important messengers about the perceived environment they can find themselves in. I think learning to mindfully step into acceptance of what is, is a key first step, and one that has to be practised many times before the next step appears.
Thank you for this video and I’m looking forward to the next.