Ellen Richards, Marriage/Family Therapy, Cumberland, ME, USAsays
Thank you! I am a retired Marriage and Family Therapist. And, I believed I became a therapist given the years I was in therapy myself. Fear, Anxiety and depression have haunted me most of my 80 years. Think I’ll just list what helps me out of that debilitating space.
Being an extrovert and type A personality led me to music, dance and theater. I loved the applause that helped me feel appreciated
Giving to my clients and others always brought me out of my negativity
Reminding myself of what I appreciated and was grateful for would sooth my inner self. Especially being grateful that my loving husband is still in my life.
Focusing on showing love to my friends, children and grandchildren makes me happy and them too. We are close.
Sitting in my sunroom watching the many birds come to my many feeders. They relax me and bring me peace.
I feel safe in my home.
I have good friends I can talk to about all of this.
Maybe if I could just cry about all the horrors, I would feel less afraid and safer. But, we are bombarded daily with horror and I don’t hold on to the joy and gratitude. I often feel guilty with all I have… when populations are suffering.
Joy, sorrow, grief, fear…..coming and going…..leaving me exhausted and so sad.
Thank you for this opportunity to share what feels so impossible to share and understand.
Thank you for your openness. I experience fear, anxiety and depression. I work at investigating where these feelings come from. I appreciate your reminders of things like gratitude and staying present. Whew!
Touching on Radical Acceptance helps me face fear. Focussing on the fear allows it to grow. Accepting reality in the moment enables me to realize the places connected to this fear where I have no control. I try to find places where I can limit or address my responsibility and let go of those places stoking fear over which I have no control. This process makes my fear more manageable, reducing its panic potential. Then I breath and prepare to face whatever it is I need to face.
carol dba Grandma Whimsy Roberts, Coach, Hagerstown, MD, USAsays
For me, I first studied a bit about fear. Then I recognized how I was not seeing it, and then I just challenged fear and conquered it, and was able to retain a positive process about fear. I now respect fear for what it is and can assist others to do the same. Thank you for the reminder. CJRoberts
For me, EFT Tapping is by far the best. Feeling the fear, acknowledging it, and tapping. It makes my nervous system able to handle it without going into overdrive.
For me, talking about my fears with close friends works. It seems to shrink and becomes less scary. Listening to different approaches to my problems from trusted friends helps me to de-escalate the fear.
If I can catch it early, I count ‘1, 2, 3’ in my head, then say internally ‘I feel you, thank you’ and then focus on what I am doing, be it listening intently or concentrating on information. If I catch it coming up a bit more intense I’ll think to myself ’90 seconds’ and in that 90 seconds I’ll internally say ‘thanks for having my back brother’. Worst case is I don’t catch it and I spiral into reactive behaviours like fidgeting and looking tense, being on the defensive and catastrophising.
I am 71 and have lived with a great deal of chronic back pain since I was 14; I have had 3 vertebrae fused but still have chronic pain, as, in addition to the back pain, I now have knee and hip pain and arthritis. My fear is deeply ingrained and manifests as timidity in walking, especially on uneven and rocky, hilly terrain as we have in CO. I fear that I will fall, causing more damage and pain to my body. I am most often on high alert, constantly scanning for any perceived danger rather than being present.
I am searching for ways to relieve this fear; I am here to find ways to overcome and quit this fear. I can’t say that I have found ways to face or conquer this fear.
I have yet to really face my fear(s) as it is deeply hidden in a place of true terror. I am currently working with a trauma therapist using EMDR. It is beginning to make very small spaces around my bodily points of fear. My throat, neck, heart and gut.
I have to go slow, honor and acknowledge my inner child daily, breathe and meditate. It will takes just as long as it takes and I am committed to finding my way.
I work toward identifying what triggers my fear and often realize that it stems from way back experiences. Thereafter, I remind myself that I am bringing my past into the present, and by so doing I deprive myself of enjoying or benefiting from what is currently available.
I have recently faced my self doubt and fears by taking on a teaching qualification. My confidence increased and I felt myself allowing me to be me and trust that I do have the knowledge and the ability. I practice mindfulness and gratitude everyday and this has helped that nagging little voice to subside. But then I got an inadequate grading on a lesson and it’s undone all the work and progress I made. My increased self awareness has told me that it only matters what I think of myself but I’m in daily pain, victimhood and self doubt again.
raising awareness of it, naming it, worst case and best case scenario discussion. Understanding its origins, exploring the ego state around it , the part that’s triggered. Supporting this part with compassion and a sense of bigger energy enfolding it. Breath and ground work , separating the part out.
Try to give it space/room sometimes is possible sometimes more difficult.
My question is: How we can prevent fears manifest? Because This is more about How to response!!!
Many Many Thanks
what helps me sometimes is to talk to my inner child, that has built a lifetime of fear and insecurity over 50 years,,to place my hand over the area I’m feeling the hurt/ fear/ alarm that I’m feeling, usually this is the central chest area like a broken heart feeling,,, I have to learn to sit with it,,talk to her ,,, that child that is still trapped,,but thanks for this I’m still learning
Thanks, Mary,
Your response reminded me that my fear also originates from my inner child’s experiences. Another area to focus on when I need more support.
Acknowledging the fear or full rain practice but at least naming it and maybe gradually, exploring what is behind it. is this fear only about the present or is it the expression of a part of me that got left behind in trauma? How can I be open hearted to that part of me? How can I let her know that I’m resourced now and we’re going to be able to survive this?
Breathing in slowly through my nose to the count of 4 and out through my mouth to the count of 8 making a whosh sound. Deep breath twice then mindfully listening to sounds close to me, then sounds a little further away e g in another room and then further away again e g outside. Or repeating a mantra You have faced worse things, you can do this.
Just be with fear. Look specifically what “the unexpected surprise” tells me about the resistance to impermanence, about the limitedness of luminous love and about the grasping mind.
Thank you Tara to inspire awareness and wisdom.
Nicole from Kathmandu/Belgium
Deep breathing. Exercise where I breathe through one nostril blocking the other, exhaling through same nostril, inhaling through that nostril, blocking and so forth. Tapping which I have just learnt. My challenge is to call on these exercises more often.
I hope Tara, with her Buddhist background and her recognition of the “deeper Self” can bring up the fear that is existential…i.e. the fear we all have that is based in the Buddhist idea of “ego frailty”. Our egos are based in fear because they are a construct of the mind that is continually working provide a stance as a self…this self-image we construct actually doesn’t really exist in “real life”. How can we study our fear is we don’t bring forth this deeper inquiry?
Understanding what the word means and what the client identifies as situations of fear then moving closer to those that the client is willing to name and see if it is worth to let us fear the choices that are made. Then relaxing music 🎶 and ending the session. I don’t like leaving clients too long between appts once a workable topic is open.
Looking and listening to my fear with kindness, with love of myself through meditation and facing it in safe boundaryies, and testing, pushing it bit by bit, Beeing reel proud of my steps forward. And keep walking forward with gratitude and love of myself and the strengh and beauty of life.
Thanks so much for theese clips! Tara and your collaborateurs, I have so much GRATITUDE for all the helping materiel you put accessible .
-Intellectualization. (Understanding neuroscience and the stress response)
-Awareness of the fear (what is feels like physically/emotionally and what it sounds like as an internal narrative).
-Awareness of my fear triggers (what causes it to arise).
-Accepting the presence of fear by reframing my internal relationship with it. (I used to be afraid of being afraid. Now I can accept and have compassion/understanding for it instead.)
I have very recently just begun to try to approach my fear and anxiety as if it is a friend trying to help me so that I can lean into it and get to the root of why and what. I have been practicing meditation for quite a while so I understood sitting with the feeling, but I realized that sitting with it, I was still trying to run from it, a fear of feeling the fear. To understand that the purpose of any fear originally was protection, to befriend it helps me be present instead of running. which seems already to be lessening the impact.
Things that help me face fear include talking with a trusted friend, practicing loving kindness toward myself regularly, thinking of times when I have gone toward and survived the situation I’m afraid of, and doing calming breathing.
Thankyou, this was validating in work I intuitively do with my clients in terms of breathing into the physical sensation related to anxiety provoking fears. I often liken that fearful self to an inner child who needs some reassurance and awhi (to be cuddled or held in Te Reo Māori, the native language of my country, New Zealand, Aotearoa) and it has been a great reminder for myself to do this work in my own mindfulness practice. I’m looking forward to the next podcast ❤️
Being aware that fear is an expression of lower vibrational frequency. We are going to feel it because we are human but we don’t have to live there! We can blow away fear by replacing with Love. We can move into our heart space, breathe, and connect.
Prayer and meditation. Pause. And question what is really going on. And ask for God’s help and guidance. And seek the support of other loving humans who I value for their goodness and wisdom.
After listening to these podcasts, I realize that I am addicted to worry. I was raised to worry, which led to my being anxious much of the time. It has been so consuming, that sometimes I would realize–Hey, I am supposed to be worrying about something, but I have forgotten what it was!
I find the wisdom and knowledge that Tara shares to be wonderful resources to guide me to increased self awareness. I hope to break with my cycle of worry and anxiety. Thank you
Thank you! I am a retired Marriage and Family Therapist. And, I believed I became a therapist given the years I was in therapy myself. Fear, Anxiety and depression have haunted me most of my 80 years. Think I’ll just list what helps me out of that debilitating space.
Being an extrovert and type A personality led me to music, dance and theater. I loved the applause that helped me feel appreciated
Giving to my clients and others always brought me out of my negativity
Reminding myself of what I appreciated and was grateful for would sooth my inner self. Especially being grateful that my loving husband is still in my life.
Focusing on showing love to my friends, children and grandchildren makes me happy and them too. We are close.
Sitting in my sunroom watching the many birds come to my many feeders. They relax me and bring me peace.
I feel safe in my home.
I have good friends I can talk to about all of this.
Maybe if I could just cry about all the horrors, I would feel less afraid and safer. But, we are bombarded daily with horror and I don’t hold on to the joy and gratitude. I often feel guilty with all I have… when populations are suffering.
Joy, sorrow, grief, fear…..coming and going…..leaving me exhausted and so sad.
Thank you for this opportunity to share what feels so impossible to share and understand.
Thank you for your openness. I experience fear, anxiety and depression. I work at investigating where these feelings come from. I appreciate your reminders of things like gratitude and staying present. Whew!
Expressing it outside of myself – sharing with others, crying, journaling, walking and most recently, starting to accept it.
Thanks so much for this. Very helpful reminders.
my dog
Touching on Radical Acceptance helps me face fear. Focussing on the fear allows it to grow. Accepting reality in the moment enables me to realize the places connected to this fear where I have no control. I try to find places where I can limit or address my responsibility and let go of those places stoking fear over which I have no control. This process makes my fear more manageable, reducing its panic potential. Then I breath and prepare to face whatever it is I need to face.
Having someone with whom I can talk about it.
For me, I first studied a bit about fear. Then I recognized how I was not seeing it, and then I just challenged fear and conquered it, and was able to retain a positive process about fear. I now respect fear for what it is and can assist others to do the same. Thank you for the reminder. CJRoberts
Walking meditation helps me.
For me, EFT Tapping is by far the best. Feeling the fear, acknowledging it, and tapping. It makes my nervous system able to handle it without going into overdrive.
Having support of friends as well as being a friend to myself.
For me, talking about my fears with close friends works. It seems to shrink and becomes less scary. Listening to different approaches to my problems from trusted friends helps me to de-escalate the fear.
If I can catch it early, I count ‘1, 2, 3’ in my head, then say internally ‘I feel you, thank you’ and then focus on what I am doing, be it listening intently or concentrating on information. If I catch it coming up a bit more intense I’ll think to myself ’90 seconds’ and in that 90 seconds I’ll internally say ‘thanks for having my back brother’. Worst case is I don’t catch it and I spiral into reactive behaviours like fidgeting and looking tense, being on the defensive and catastrophising.
I am 71 and have lived with a great deal of chronic back pain since I was 14; I have had 3 vertebrae fused but still have chronic pain, as, in addition to the back pain, I now have knee and hip pain and arthritis. My fear is deeply ingrained and manifests as timidity in walking, especially on uneven and rocky, hilly terrain as we have in CO. I fear that I will fall, causing more damage and pain to my body. I am most often on high alert, constantly scanning for any perceived danger rather than being present.
I am searching for ways to relieve this fear; I am here to find ways to overcome and quit this fear. I can’t say that I have found ways to face or conquer this fear.
Remembering what is actually happening in each moment rather than having fear of what could happen overwhelm my thoughts.
I have yet to really face my fear(s) as it is deeply hidden in a place of true terror. I am currently working with a trauma therapist using EMDR. It is beginning to make very small spaces around my bodily points of fear. My throat, neck, heart and gut.
I have to go slow, honor and acknowledge my inner child daily, breathe and meditate. It will takes just as long as it takes and I am committed to finding my way.
I work toward identifying what triggers my fear and often realize that it stems from way back experiences. Thereafter, I remind myself that I am bringing my past into the present, and by so doing I deprive myself of enjoying or benefiting from what is currently available.
imagining I am holding Jesus’s hand
I have recently faced my self doubt and fears by taking on a teaching qualification. My confidence increased and I felt myself allowing me to be me and trust that I do have the knowledge and the ability. I practice mindfulness and gratitude everyday and this has helped that nagging little voice to subside. But then I got an inadequate grading on a lesson and it’s undone all the work and progress I made. My increased self awareness has told me that it only matters what I think of myself but I’m in daily pain, victimhood and self doubt again.
Love
raising awareness of it, naming it, worst case and best case scenario discussion. Understanding its origins, exploring the ego state around it , the part that’s triggered. Supporting this part with compassion and a sense of bigger energy enfolding it. Breath and ground work , separating the part out.
Try to give it space/room sometimes is possible sometimes more difficult.
My question is: How we can prevent fears manifest? Because This is more about How to response!!!
Many Many Thanks
what helps me sometimes is to talk to my inner child, that has built a lifetime of fear and insecurity over 50 years,,to place my hand over the area I’m feeling the hurt/ fear/ alarm that I’m feeling, usually this is the central chest area like a broken heart feeling,,, I have to learn to sit with it,,talk to her ,,, that child that is still trapped,,but thanks for this I’m still learning
Thanks, Mary,
Your response reminded me that my fear also originates from my inner child’s experiences. Another area to focus on when I need more support.
Acknowledging the fear or full rain practice but at least naming it and maybe gradually, exploring what is behind it. is this fear only about the present or is it the expression of a part of me that got left behind in trauma? How can I be open hearted to that part of me? How can I let her know that I’m resourced now and we’re going to be able to survive this?
What helps me is stop and be with it
Sit and feel. But it starts with realizing I have to stop. And that is my challenge
Being with someone who has my back.
Being with my partner
everything I’ve learnt from Tara:-)
Breathing in slowly through my nose to the count of 4 and out through my mouth to the count of 8 making a whosh sound. Deep breath twice then mindfully listening to sounds close to me, then sounds a little further away e g in another room and then further away again e g outside. Or repeating a mantra You have faced worse things, you can do this.
Thank you very much!
IFS and EFT help me to face fear
Bringing myself back to the present moment and asking myself ‘How am I doing right now?’ is often enough to ease the grip of fear. Then I breathe.
Just be with fear. Look specifically what “the unexpected surprise” tells me about the resistance to impermanence, about the limitedness of luminous love and about the grasping mind.
Thank you Tara to inspire awareness and wisdom.
Nicole from Kathmandu/Belgium
Deep breathing. Exercise where I breathe through one nostril blocking the other, exhaling through same nostril, inhaling through that nostril, blocking and so forth. Tapping which I have just learnt. My challenge is to call on these exercises more often.
My most beloved people and prts to die suddenly.
Pets*
Ruth will pass it along. Always excellent material and so helpful for people like me. Carol
I hope Tara, with her Buddhist background and her recognition of the “deeper Self” can bring up the fear that is existential…i.e. the fear we all have that is based in the Buddhist idea of “ego frailty”. Our egos are based in fear because they are a construct of the mind that is continually working provide a stance as a self…this self-image we construct actually doesn’t really exist in “real life”. How can we study our fear is we don’t bring forth this deeper inquiry?
Understanding what the word means and what the client identifies as situations of fear then moving closer to those that the client is willing to name and see if it is worth to let us fear the choices that are made. Then relaxing music 🎶 and ending the session. I don’t like leaving clients too long between appts once a workable topic is open.
Looking and listening to my fear with kindness, with love of myself through meditation and facing it in safe boundaryies, and testing, pushing it bit by bit, Beeing reel proud of my steps forward. And keep walking forward with gratitude and love of myself and the strengh and beauty of life.
Thanks so much for theese clips! Tara and your collaborateurs, I have so much GRATITUDE for all the helping materiel you put accessible .
Breath and be present!
Taking deep breaths and being present.
love and support from other humans.
Pausing, getting quiet and being with whatever fear I am feeling at the time.
I often need to control my experience, so I practice letting go.
-Intellectualization. (Understanding neuroscience and the stress response)
-Awareness of the fear (what is feels like physically/emotionally and what it sounds like as an internal narrative).
-Awareness of my fear triggers (what causes it to arise).
-Accepting the presence of fear by reframing my internal relationship with it. (I used to be afraid of being afraid. Now I can accept and have compassion/understanding for it instead.)
I have very recently just begun to try to approach my fear and anxiety as if it is a friend trying to help me so that I can lean into it and get to the root of why and what. I have been practicing meditation for quite a while so I understood sitting with the feeling, but I realized that sitting with it, I was still trying to run from it, a fear of feeling the fear. To understand that the purpose of any fear originally was protection, to befriend it helps me be present instead of running. which seems already to be lessening the impact.
Things that help me face fear include talking with a trusted friend, practicing loving kindness toward myself regularly, thinking of times when I have gone toward and survived the situation I’m afraid of, and doing calming breathing.
singing
identifying the thoughts as just thoughts, telling stories of a dangerous future
Thankyou, this was validating in work I intuitively do with my clients in terms of breathing into the physical sensation related to anxiety provoking fears. I often liken that fearful self to an inner child who needs some reassurance and awhi (to be cuddled or held in Te Reo Māori, the native language of my country, New Zealand, Aotearoa) and it has been a great reminder for myself to do this work in my own mindfulness practice. I’m looking forward to the next podcast ❤️
Being aware that fear is an expression of lower vibrational frequency. We are going to feel it because we are human but we don’t have to live there! We can blow away fear by replacing with Love. We can move into our heart space, breathe, and connect.
Being present. Breathing and reminding myself that that’s not true.
Prayer and meditation. Pause. And question what is really going on. And ask for God’s help and guidance. And seek the support of other loving humans who I value for their goodness and wisdom.
Journaling and breath work
Knowing that whatever happens , it will be ok.
After listening to these podcasts, I realize that I am addicted to worry. I was raised to worry, which led to my being anxious much of the time. It has been so consuming, that sometimes I would realize–Hey, I am supposed to be worrying about something, but I have forgotten what it was!
I find the wisdom and knowledge that Tara shares to be wonderful resources to guide me to increased self awareness. I hope to break with my cycle of worry and anxiety. Thank you
Thank you relay appreciate!