I am my husband’s carer, he has Alzheimer’s and his moods are unpredictable. I am still trying to work out how to tackle the enormous fear that I feel when he gets angry and blames me for things I haven’t done. I don’t think the threat to me is physical- not yet anyway- so I will try to sit with my fear and see what it needs. The best thing that has helped so far is to ask my family and friends for help with specific things- they all want to help me but don’t know what to do for the best. So I need to be bolder about asking. Thanks Tara you are an inspiration as always ❤️
Thank you Tara. Being able to sit with the emotions (like anxiety and depression/sense of hopelessness) which are underpinned by fear, is such a critically fundamental life skill. Without that non-reactive ability to expand awareness in the moment and tolerate the intense emotions we cannot progress in life. It would have been invaluable had I known this fifty years ago! 😊
Breathing into it, but often the ‘it’ isn’t acknowledged in the way you described. So thank you for the example on getting in touch with the roots of the fear.
Talking kindly and warmly to myself as a mother to a child along with a hand on my belly and heart and gentle enquiry. Deepening the breath. Swimming in the sea helps everything for me.
Thanks for this video. Extremely insightful. I try to face fear by building up to the worst case scenario possible. I do that by asking myself “and then” and “what could happen more” and “and then what could happen”
It helps me put a name to the fear and to what exactly I am scared of. Then I try to feel the feeling. Knowing and being aware of the feeling makes it less overwhelming.
How I have best learned face fear is to put the story aside and just be with the feelings. I have started to recognise that when I go into fear thinking it is often due to fatigue, so I might put myself to bed or make a warm drink and get very comfortable so that at least my physical needs are met.
Then I try to put the story aside, sometimes I visualise this as a film projected onto a white curtain, so I pull the curtain aside and once my mind enters the dark space behind, I go looking within my physical body for where the sensation is arising.
then I am able to self sooth often just by acknowledging how stressful my life has been in the past few years as i am learning to manage complex PTSD.
sometimes it may require adopting the voice of my recently deceased much beloved grandmother to reassure me that I am loved, whole, safe, able to practice choosing how to handle what happens in future and most importantly, to forgive myself for those incidents over which I have no control.
Your meditations and teachings are an endless resource and I am always recommending you to people in my life Tara.
Thank you! x
For me, it’s first about recognizing that fear is the driver for what I’m experiencing because it can manifest in so many ways. Slowing down, finding a quiet place and then probing deeper into the experience often reveals the source of the fear.
For my clients who are always children or adolescents, we do a lot of body scanning to help them connect to where fear livesnin their bodies. We do some things to try and soothe the vagal system, we teach some basic mindfulness with various breathing techniques as well as deep muscle relaxation.
I procrastinate but if I see something I need to do and say to myself later. I then think no it’s here now do it now and I do and I feel better as it does not stay in my forever list to do. It’s mainly small things line area towel on the floor or clothing in bed to out in cupboard. When I do leave it the pile grows and my anxiety grows as a small thing got huge.
Often my ‘go to’ is practicing tapping which is Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). Science based, even 10 minutes of EFT calms the flight and flight, lowers cortisol and peace ensues.
These things help me to face fear: Breathing, Letting go and letting God, trying to be in the Present. I have a way to go to accomplish these things. Thank you for this series.
I like very much the technique of breathing into fear and self talk. Looking for to learning more about anxiety as I’m struggling with worrying. Thanks for this offering Tara.
I am way more likely to be able to face my fear when I’m in community. It just takes one friendly person to be standing next to me and the fear diminishes. Therefore, I find that making connections and working on keeping them alive and healthy is one of my best avenues of approach.
Thank you Joan. I really like this. It is very true.
It does remind me of the gentleness and love I feel in Tara’s work. I follow and participate in her meditations and courses online.
I can face fear with courage, belief in myself, doing it for others, doing it with others, meditation, connecting to my breath, positive mantras, reflection
I tend to ‘awfulize’ about a situation and the future. Breathing and being mindful that ‘this too will pass’ (as you describe the waves of emotions) gives me perspective.
I experience anxiety caused by hyperthyroidism… I’m receiving help from a colleague but it’s not a matter of therapy for me as a matter of management of the condition. Nature is my greatest helper, just sitting and being but also by accessing my inner resources through a mindfulness practise. It’s easier to help clients, than oneself.
I grew up in a household that’s full of chaos, and with a bipolar disorder that wasn’t diagnosed and treated until her mid-70s (cultural stigma didn’t help), I’ve seen so much anger, anxiety, and lashing out throughout my life. So fear has become my constant companion from the age of consciousness until an adult. And thus far, the primary move that helps manage my fear is the practice of self-compassion.
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) tapping, PSYCH-K, meditation, breathing deeply and holding breath while putting my attention on my pineal gland, meditation, reflective journaling, self-inquiry, and gardening.
What helps me face fear is doing the thing anyway (sometimes not doing the thing) BUT that has now backfired because I have a lot of fear I have essentially not validated, and, because I sometimes just jump in anyway, I don’t trust myself. I developed mild anxiety a few years ago and now what to nurture a fearless heart.
Breathing and checking in with my body. Recognizing that I am not alone in the experience I am going through. Recognizing that the situation will change.
Being kind to myself, meditating, writing morning pages everyday to acknowledge my fears and anxieties, daily walks and having a morning ritual and practicing yoga.
I have some ideas about what helps me face fear such as; a sense of peacefulness, connection to others, purpose, contributing to the well being of myself and others and a joyful vision of the future. I’m hoping to discover what will help me face my fears with this course as I been struggling to manage what on one hand seem to be elusive fears and on the other hand blatantly obvious fears. I have become adept at avoiding confronting and diminishing my fears and at the same time live with them every day. Some of what I’m doing is excepting my stubborn denial as to what I should do, some is being caught in fear loop that dis-empowers my overall confidence and ability to not be overly fearful. It’s somewhat of a vicious cycle and I’m looking forward to breaking that cycle.
I couldn’t get through the introduction due to the production of the intro. Sappy music and cliched video images are so ubiquitous to commercialized TikTok pop psychology bytes, they undermine the very real truths of Tara’s teaching. I’ll go back to the podcasts, thank you.
Thank you so much for this, Tara, and your generous heart. What helps me has been learning to turn towards unpleasant feelings with friendliness and curiosity. Most recently, the inner critic that used to habitually take me down when I tried to create something. I’m a work in progress, but sharing this with others really helped, too.
Brian Reimer, Another Field, Lake Worth, FL, USAsays
I’m learning to allow my fear to exist, to not resist it. When I was a young boy there were some events in my life where I was humiliated and shamed for expressing and acting scared. I interpreted that to mean that being fearful was bad, wrong and weak. I spent my entire life hiding from, resisting and running from fear. Even worse, when I recognized fear and that I was acting and thinking scared, “I hated myself”! So I’m learning to accept my fear. My adult self allows my childhood self to be scared and not resist it or hate myself. I’m still in the early stages of allowing fear into my life but by using R. A. I. N. My flight and freeze response is becoming more manageable. It’s still a struggle but I’m seeing progress.
Thank you, Tara. What has helped me the most in facing fear is remembering that I am human and I am not alone with this fear; it isn’t always present; and my “higher self” can reassure me of all this and more if I can just breathe and listen.
For me it was helpful to have daily Rituals for a while like training wheels. I have found over time they have slipped away as I am coping better. Human connection helped me, no caffeine, calming supplements, meditation daily, walking, sleep, being aware of what I was feeding my mind, acknowledging how I was feeling and being kind to myself. Thank you for teaching me the about the RAIN process through your books.
What helps me most when facing fear is bringing myself back to the present moment, noticing the resistance that I am experiencing and accepting this moment as it is showing up.
Next, I go within and witness the sensations in the body to see where I am holding tension. After acknowledging that, I take some deep belly breaths allowing my nervous system to begin to calm and relax. Often at this point, I practice some EFT tapping to allow the constricted feeling to lessen its emotional grip, and eventually begin the process of dissolving.
Mindfulness does help. I’ve lived my whole life with a constant anxiety. I am afraid of not being worthy or good enough for the people and roles in my life. I have always believed, and honestly still do, that there is something wrong with me to make me so afraid all the time. I am in my 50’s. I am exhausted. I understand the neurophysiology and have done so much work. But I still feel like I did when I was 7 and all of this started. As I said, mindfulness does help. Listening to rain or the shower helps. Breathing helps. But I am really tired.
I hear you, Jen, I’m 68 and I’ve been working on myself since my late 20’s. I’m so tired. Though, I have to say, just this brief 4 session talk from Tara, is being said in a way I seem to hear it and understand it…..not to mention, maybe I’m more ready to allow it in…. :). My thoughts are with you!
A safe space and no parameters on what’s “right or wrong”, “good or bad”. We look at “effective and ineffective”. Our outcomes are “preferred or not preferred”.
acceptance that we are only human, and that we have limited control over our futures allows us to accept our fear and vulnerability which in turn turns into a strength – that of human connection – making our community stronger, safer and kinder.
Acknowledging the fear instead of blaming others or blaming situations for my strong emotions helps me to find courage to be with it in the moment. Practicing self- compassion for being human with fears also loosens the intensity and helps me move forward.
Thank you Tara for this offering. This applies to both me and many of the clients that I work with. I am excited to go further. I am also excited about the 2 year program that I am attending with you and the opportunity to learn how to better support those with anxiety and depression. I have a question that I wonder if you would have some time to talk to me about. I am currently looking at the option of going back to school for a masters in counseling at Naropa or a PhD in clinical psychology. I am wondering if you might. Be able to recommend a program for me based on my interests in both practicing counseling with a mindfulness focus but also doing research on the impact of mindfulness with anxiety and depression.
Thank you for your time
Wendy Griffin Mazzuca Mtngirl2@gmail.com
Making myself face the fear, no matter what, has worked the best for me so far. I have a really valid fear of walking and coming upon a bear. I live in a part of the country where this is real. So on one hand, this is a very valid fear but its keeping me from walking outside which is my favorite form of exercise.
I am my husband’s carer, he has Alzheimer’s and his moods are unpredictable. I am still trying to work out how to tackle the enormous fear that I feel when he gets angry and blames me for things I haven’t done. I don’t think the threat to me is physical- not yet anyway- so I will try to sit with my fear and see what it needs. The best thing that has helped so far is to ask my family and friends for help with specific things- they all want to help me but don’t know what to do for the best. So I need to be bolder about asking. Thanks Tara you are an inspiration as always ❤️
Thank you Tara. Being able to sit with the emotions (like anxiety and depression/sense of hopelessness) which are underpinned by fear, is such a critically fundamental life skill. Without that non-reactive ability to expand awareness in the moment and tolerate the intense emotions we cannot progress in life. It would have been invaluable had I known this fifty years ago! 😊
Breathing into it, but often the ‘it’ isn’t acknowledged in the way you described. So thank you for the example on getting in touch with the roots of the fear.
Talking kindly and warmly to myself as a mother to a child along with a hand on my belly and heart and gentle enquiry. Deepening the breath. Swimming in the sea helps everything for me.
Thanks for this video. Extremely insightful. I try to face fear by building up to the worst case scenario possible. I do that by asking myself “and then” and “what could happen more” and “and then what could happen”
It helps me put a name to the fear and to what exactly I am scared of. Then I try to feel the feeling. Knowing and being aware of the feeling makes it less overwhelming.
I am going to die this year and the way it will happens, which I don’t know exactly makes me anxious. I have long cancer last stadium!
Maria
Being honest with ourselves and with trusted others about our fears, without feeling ashamed or lesser than for having them, helps me and my clients.
Thank you so much for this mini series that generously shares your compassion and wisdom.
How I have best learned face fear is to put the story aside and just be with the feelings. I have started to recognise that when I go into fear thinking it is often due to fatigue, so I might put myself to bed or make a warm drink and get very comfortable so that at least my physical needs are met.
Then I try to put the story aside, sometimes I visualise this as a film projected onto a white curtain, so I pull the curtain aside and once my mind enters the dark space behind, I go looking within my physical body for where the sensation is arising.
then I am able to self sooth often just by acknowledging how stressful my life has been in the past few years as i am learning to manage complex PTSD.
sometimes it may require adopting the voice of my recently deceased much beloved grandmother to reassure me that I am loved, whole, safe, able to practice choosing how to handle what happens in future and most importantly, to forgive myself for those incidents over which I have no control.
Your meditations and teachings are an endless resource and I am always recommending you to people in my life Tara.
Thank you! x
For me, it’s first about recognizing that fear is the driver for what I’m experiencing because it can manifest in so many ways. Slowing down, finding a quiet place and then probing deeper into the experience often reveals the source of the fear.
For my clients who are always children or adolescents, we do a lot of body scanning to help them connect to where fear livesnin their bodies. We do some things to try and soothe the vagal system, we teach some basic mindfulness with various breathing techniques as well as deep muscle relaxation.
I procrastinate but if I see something I need to do and say to myself later. I then think no it’s here now do it now and I do and I feel better as it does not stay in my forever list to do. It’s mainly small things line area towel on the floor or clothing in bed to out in cupboard. When I do leave it the pile grows and my anxiety grows as a small thing got huge.
Often my ‘go to’ is practicing tapping which is Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). Science based, even 10 minutes of EFT calms the flight and flight, lowers cortisol and peace ensues.
These things help me to face fear: Breathing, Letting go and letting God, trying to be in the Present. I have a way to go to accomplish these things. Thank you for this series.
I keep reminding myself that it’s possible to let the fear be there. And then see if I can let go even a little bit so I can experience freedom.
I like very much the technique of breathing into fear and self talk. Looking for to learning more about anxiety as I’m struggling with worrying. Thanks for this offering Tara.
I am way more likely to be able to face my fear when I’m in community. It just takes one friendly person to be standing next to me and the fear diminishes. Therefore, I find that making connections and working on keeping them alive and healthy is one of my best avenues of approach.
Thank you Joan. I really like this. It is very true.
It does remind me of the gentleness and love I feel in Tara’s work. I follow and participate in her meditations and courses online.
Faith.
I can face fear with courage, belief in myself, doing it for others, doing it with others, meditation, connecting to my breath, positive mantras, reflection
Recognizing that fear is a symptom, a signal, a guide pointing to underlying delusions, the ultimate delusion being self itself.
I tend to ‘awfulize’ about a situation and the future. Breathing and being mindful that ‘this too will pass’ (as you describe the waves of emotions) gives me perspective.
I experience anxiety caused by hyperthyroidism… I’m receiving help from a colleague but it’s not a matter of therapy for me as a matter of management of the condition. Nature is my greatest helper, just sitting and being but also by accessing my inner resources through a mindfulness practise. It’s easier to help clients, than oneself.
I grew up in a household that’s full of chaos, and with a bipolar disorder that wasn’t diagnosed and treated until her mid-70s (cultural stigma didn’t help), I’ve seen so much anger, anxiety, and lashing out throughout my life. So fear has become my constant companion from the age of consciousness until an adult. And thus far, the primary move that helps manage my fear is the practice of self-compassion.
Willingness is a key to facing fear – willingness to see it all and face towards it instead of turning away.
Thank you
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) tapping, PSYCH-K, meditation, breathing deeply and holding breath while putting my attention on my pineal gland, meditation, reflective journaling, self-inquiry, and gardening.
When I reach the point the suffering is too much or unbearable I finally decide to face fear. The price it’s too high.
What helps me face fear is doing the thing anyway (sometimes not doing the thing) BUT that has now backfired because I have a lot of fear I have essentially not validated, and, because I sometimes just jump in anyway, I don’t trust myself. I developed mild anxiety a few years ago and now what to nurture a fearless heart.
Talking it out. Making art about it.
Trying to make it an ally that can be incorporated
Breathing and checking in with my body. Recognizing that I am not alone in the experience I am going through. Recognizing that the situation will change.
Befriending myself is what works best for me.
As you say: make peace with it.
Thank you
Being kind to myself, meditating, writing morning pages everyday to acknowledge my fears and anxieties, daily walks and having a morning ritual and practicing yoga.
to be present with my heart to deal with fear is attractive
I have some ideas about what helps me face fear such as; a sense of peacefulness, connection to others, purpose, contributing to the well being of myself and others and a joyful vision of the future. I’m hoping to discover what will help me face my fears with this course as I been struggling to manage what on one hand seem to be elusive fears and on the other hand blatantly obvious fears. I have become adept at avoiding confronting and diminishing my fears and at the same time live with them every day. Some of what I’m doing is excepting my stubborn denial as to what I should do, some is being caught in fear loop that dis-empowers my overall confidence and ability to not be overly fearful. It’s somewhat of a vicious cycle and I’m looking forward to breaking that cycle.
I couldn’t get through the introduction due to the production of the intro. Sappy music and cliched video images are so ubiquitous to commercialized TikTok pop psychology bytes, they undermine the very real truths of Tara’s teaching. I’ll go back to the podcasts, thank you.
I agree. I will listen to the next two anyway, but I far prefer Tara “straight up”!
Thank you so much for this, Tara, and your generous heart. What helps me has been learning to turn towards unpleasant feelings with friendliness and curiosity. Most recently, the inner critic that used to habitually take me down when I tried to create something. I’m a work in progress, but sharing this with others really helped, too.
Taking the fear with me. Meditating daily.
I’m learning to allow my fear to exist, to not resist it. When I was a young boy there were some events in my life where I was humiliated and shamed for expressing and acting scared. I interpreted that to mean that being fearful was bad, wrong and weak. I spent my entire life hiding from, resisting and running from fear. Even worse, when I recognized fear and that I was acting and thinking scared, “I hated myself”! So I’m learning to accept my fear. My adult self allows my childhood self to be scared and not resist it or hate myself. I’m still in the early stages of allowing fear into my life but by using R. A. I. N. My flight and freeze response is becoming more manageable. It’s still a struggle but I’m seeing progress.
Having PPE that protects us
Thank you, Tara. What has helped me the most in facing fear is remembering that I am human and I am not alone with this fear; it isn’t always present; and my “higher self” can reassure me of all this and more if I can just breathe and listen.
For me it was helpful to have daily Rituals for a while like training wheels. I have found over time they have slipped away as I am coping better. Human connection helped me, no caffeine, calming supplements, meditation daily, walking, sleep, being aware of what I was feeding my mind, acknowledging how I was feeling and being kind to myself. Thank you for teaching me the about the RAIN process through your books.
What helps me most when facing fear is bringing myself back to the present moment, noticing the resistance that I am experiencing and accepting this moment as it is showing up.
Next, I go within and witness the sensations in the body to see where I am holding tension. After acknowledging that, I take some deep belly breaths allowing my nervous system to begin to calm and relax. Often at this point, I practice some EFT tapping to allow the constricted feeling to lessen its emotional grip, and eventually begin the process of dissolving.
Thank you for sharing this, so simple and powerful!
A daily practice of self care, that involves mindfulness and spiritual readings.
Mindfulness does help. I’ve lived my whole life with a constant anxiety. I am afraid of not being worthy or good enough for the people and roles in my life. I have always believed, and honestly still do, that there is something wrong with me to make me so afraid all the time. I am in my 50’s. I am exhausted. I understand the neurophysiology and have done so much work. But I still feel like I did when I was 7 and all of this started. As I said, mindfulness does help. Listening to rain or the shower helps. Breathing helps. But I am really tired.
💜
I hear you, Jen, I’m 68 and I’ve been working on myself since my late 20’s. I’m so tired. Though, I have to say, just this brief 4 session talk from Tara, is being said in a way I seem to hear it and understand it…..not to mention, maybe I’m more ready to allow it in…. :). My thoughts are with you!
A safe space and no parameters on what’s “right or wrong”, “good or bad”. We look at “effective and ineffective”. Our outcomes are “preferred or not preferred”.
Courage.
acceptance that we are only human, and that we have limited control over our futures allows us to accept our fear and vulnerability which in turn turns into a strength – that of human connection – making our community stronger, safer and kinder.
Thank you for the training! Is there a part 2??
Acknowledging the fear instead of blaming others or blaming situations for my strong emotions helps me to find courage to be with it in the moment. Practicing self- compassion for being human with fears also loosens the intensity and helps me move forward.
Accurately naming the fear
Support of trusted community
Moving forward through the fear
Music. Solitude. Friendship.
Thank you Tara for this offering. This applies to both me and many of the clients that I work with. I am excited to go further. I am also excited about the 2 year program that I am attending with you and the opportunity to learn how to better support those with anxiety and depression. I have a question that I wonder if you would have some time to talk to me about. I am currently looking at the option of going back to school for a masters in counseling at Naropa or a PhD in clinical psychology. I am wondering if you might. Be able to recommend a program for me based on my interests in both practicing counseling with a mindfulness focus but also doing research on the impact of mindfulness with anxiety and depression.
Thank you for your time
Wendy Griffin Mazzuca
Mtngirl2@gmail.com
Making myself face the fear, no matter what, has worked the best for me so far. I have a really valid fear of walking and coming upon a bear. I live in a part of the country where this is real. So on one hand, this is a very valid fear but its keeping me from walking outside which is my favorite form of exercise.