You are right, most of the times is seeing myself unable (or deficient) to face a situation (not smart enough, not good enough, self-defeating thoughts…). Fear and anxiety manifest, in my body, mostly as in the solar plexus, like if a tiger was ripping that area with its claws. Also I contract the belly and hold my breath. Thank you Tara X
Thanks for your helpful guidance. I don’t always make the link between what I am thinking and feeling in my body and I enjoy breathing until I feel calmer. Again, the reminder to soothe myself. Not always obvious when I’m annoyed or troubled by a worry. Sometimes seems hard to do. To see the situation anew, not stuck in my worry. My present situation is more welcome. Thanks again.
I felt my body begin to relax and my shoulders to drop down from my ears. I opened my eyes to see the beautiful morning light of new day with a fresh start. Thank you!
Thank you Tara and Ruth, a lovely offering that will strengthen my practice. Yes, chronic anxiety is something I’ve dealt with most of my life, and the thoughts that surround it are substantial. One of the things I noticed is my knowledge of the damage this does physiologically, creates the desire to rid myself of the anxiety, which strengthens the loop, rather than releasing it. It simply is not helpful to imagine damaging cortisol (which can be felt) coursing through one’s energy field. However, continually working to meet myself where I am and befriend.
Thank you Tara. This is so timely for me, because I have a PhD in Worrying! And much as I have worked with meditation techniques, read books, and worked a 12-step recovery program, I can still get caught up just like that when I hear one of my children is in trouble. Fear for their lives and their future. along with a tendency to blame myself for not having been an adequate mother for them, seem to be my immediate response to their crises. I know it’s irrational, but sure enough my heart begins to race, my chest feels heavy, I feel like I’m in labour again when it comes to the body. But your third suggestion here is wonderful and definitely helps: to offer myself comforting thoughts, and recognise that for right now anyway, things are good, or as they are supposed to be and all is well in my own world at this moment. ” Let go and let God” is a helpful slogan when I can remember and practice it, too. Thank you!
My first thought was it’s just Old wine in a new bottle! However, I have to admit that your presentation makes the three step process much easier to understand and practice. Thanks. Suseela
But what will I do without the worry???? My whole life is based on worrying about my not being good enough….. for whatever task is on hand and then I just do it quickly and not very well, just to get rid of it and to tick the box, so to speak. A lifetime of bad habits.
For the past year, I have been battling cancer. My fear was initially focused around my treatments and now, my worries have been focused around whether or not my body will heal. Mindfulness has gotten me through the past year. I found Tara’s video quite useful and intend to practice when I feel the worry and anxiety over the next few weeks.
Once again Tara ,you are an amazing Healer.
To get the feel of the method, I practiced as you were describing and OM. HAVING SOMETHING TO GAUGE AGAINST THE AUTOMATIC THINKING was a REVELATION that I can now pass on to my Peers.
Until my brain has something new to latch onto, it remains stuck. Having said that, until ACTION is put in place to alter the Loop , it remains ALL IN YOUR HEAD.
Namaste
Very helpful. Thank you. I usually can’t make myself sit still long enough to pay attention to my anxiety and pain, but I did today.
I have two free days coming up and I’m usually all consumed with what is ahead which totally destroys my “should be” two great days of fun. Because of the worry, I don’t even know how to have fun. ACK! So, I’m going to take time and follow through with the 3 steps.
I will be stopping many times to accomplish this activity as my habit is very strong.
Thank you Tara!
My anxiety (which I am learning to deal with) has been paralyzing! Most of it is about health concerns! What I have learned is that most of my anxious thought over health, in reality never turn out to be as bad as my mind imagined. When I finally got to a dentist, imagining a total extraction- it turned out to be some cavities and they were taken care of easily! I worried for many months.
When I speak about the anxiety to the specific doctor and it is taken care of, it has never been as bad as I worried about!
Thank you
My experience with addiction to worry is very much the self-doubt tara talked about. Ups and downs in life have been tainted with the touch of crippling insecurity and self-blame because of it. I am committed to bringing myself relief from some these bad habits and redirect my energies to self-acceptance.
Thank you, Tara. I have listened to many of your training presentations over several years. As a therapist I find the information and your presentation to be very applicable in my therapy practice for treating clients with situational and generalized anxiety problems. Please keep them coming 🙂
Karen Turner, MA, Psychotherapist
BC Canada
Several things have contributed to my addiction to worry. I have rationalized that it’s not worry, it’s being prepared! I lived for 26 years in an emotionally abusive relationship and I am an Administrative Assistant by trade. Both that relationship and in my career the result I was looking for was approval and acceptance from those around me. As a result I lost myself in the marriage and my need to be everything to everyone in my career became worse. I just within the last several years have slowly been coming to the realization of my need to get a handle on these two things. I am divorce, and then after 10 years remarried. Watching your video today made me see that I have allowed myself to fall back into those old behaviors and thought processes I had in my first marriage. I have become efficient enough in my career I no longer become anxious about pleasing people in most cases, because I have proven to them and to myself that I am good at what I do. I will be working on communicating with my spouse and improving that situation now. I’m new to mindfulness and having a hard time getting the hang of it! Looking forward to more videos.
Thank you Dr. Brach for your clear and effective presentation on a subject that so many people need to hear. I will do my part in sharing with clients and friends. Can’t wait for “self doubt” video!
Anxiety in some of my clients is totally debilitating, self-distancing, destroying peace and the joy of enjoying even simple things. Their world turns to a grey monotone ritual, there is no colour.
Like you said, this is a lifelong practice we have to return to over and over. Thanks for presenting a very clear way to handle it. I read another comment below that made me think about my bad, lifelong relation with my own father. Some years before he died I had a meeting with him and prepared myself to focus on what was important to me, and to keep calm and collected.
– Daddy, I have always been scared of you, my whole life, I said to him.
He could barely believe me, he got surprised, a bit angry, was almost leaving the room but came back. And we talked for more than an hour, that was very relieving for me and helped our relation to be better his last years. The thing I learned from this – It´s always worth trying, you’ve got nothing to loose!
I have a very anxious fear about doctors. My blood pressure goes very high before the appointment. I assume the worst! My heart is racing! I have various medical issues I’m dealing with – aging brings more! I always assume the worst. (Don’t know if this related to a thyroid storm I had prior to thyroid surgery many years ago.) At my appointment, I ask the nurse to take my blood pressure following the appt. Sometimes this works. I do see my doctors when necessary and go through this worry/anxiety cycle every time.
Chronic anxiety is difficult to manage because it IS chronic, and worrying is always there. Perceiving it as an addiction is helpful. And being mindful and practising seem to be the way of getting back some control of a run-away mind and finding more joy in life.
To listen to Mrs Tarabrach on fear and anxiety, the difference between both and way to manage it in one’s life is explained in so simple terms,I have enjoyed listening to that, specially 3 step method ,.My sincear thanks.
Since meditating for 12-40 minutes each day, I don’t mind loop anymore. I CAN let it go…some places in my life are still harder than others, but I notice I have much more courage and while the anxious thoughts still surface, the feelings don’t….I can choose a different thought. Also, I constantly think I am safe, I am happy, I have everything I need.
First, I have to decide if relieving my anxiety is what I want to do. (This could be self defeating because it sets me up for a challenge that must be met and overcome. More anxiety? Anxiety about anxiety? The loop?) I accept it . Let it be. The anxiety becomes fear when the future moment becomes present. I have to find my comfort space in the present moment; a place I feel safe, secure and protected. This could be found on my own or with the help of another. Maybe it is the reassurance that I need from time to time. Something as simple as, “It’s O.K.; everything is O.K.; this too will pass.” Like a lesson to be learned it has to be repeated over and over again until it becomes second nature.
Worry could also be beneficial. We become more vigilante, alert. It motivates us to be prepared.
I am a recovering worry addict ..even as a child I remember worrying about everything ..my aha moment came to me when I had kids , and my mother said to me ..”You’re a good mom , you worry a lot “… the light went on , that wasn’t the kind of mom I wanted to be .. bringing mindfulness into my life has helped tremendously , I like your suggestion to say something kind to myself as well when caught up in a worry loop instead of reprimanding myself for being a “worrier” …I change that to “warrior” .. feels empowering. Thank you <3
Paula
Thank you so much, I actually get warm feet at the end of my day just as I sit to relax. Never when busy running around. So when I sit and don’t feel it right away I say where is it and even though it is bothersome I wait for it to come, and then it comes. It is like a bothersome friend, but yet a friend. I want it to never come but after 2 years will wonder where it is. It is truly a mental habit that is bad for me but don’t know how to stop it. Although tapping has helped.
I consider myself very normal except for these habits that I have dealt with most of my life. One time it was my back,another my head, another my jaw. Always after a stressful period in my life but doesn’t want to leave, or I don’t let it leave. Thanks, I now say all is well and I am safe! From Louise Hay
Thanks for sharing, wonderful way you explained this and great step by step practice to break this habit of cuddling anxious thoughts. Looking forward to the next one!
I use a breathing technique called SRI. The first 3 stages entail placing your hands on either head, chest or abdomen area, then breath into the hands. Moving the hands around, noticing blockages. When you find one you don’t stay there you pendulate back to an area that has good open breath. Then after a few breaths then return to the blocked area. Repeat. Also at another level pendulate between between zones. E.g. breath in at chest level then move hands to the abdomin and breath into the hands. It is a bit more complex as this technique requires that you also move the body. The chest muscles move and the abdomin muscles push out and then relax. It is physical as well as breath orientated. It is a Donald Epstein technique. Very powerful and healing.
It is mind & body opening, I find it very useful & will keep practicing myself. What I realised with these steps is that I practice mindfulness, meditation & guided visualization with my clients to help them with their anxiety but I hardly practice it myself. This is an awakening massage for me & I like to thank you for this. Look forward to part three.
I am grateful for the opportunity to meet me in such a wonderful, deep and loving way, to get closer to my inner life and to enable myself to live a fulfilling and strong life out of myself.
Thank you very much.
I am less worried wen I think “content”. I feel the word content as stabel and warm in my hips (in the first place), chest, heart, shoulders, arms and throat.
I like your clear and concise description of fear and anxiety as well as the acknowledgement and acceptance of the anxiety. The description of the mindfulness steps are very helpful
Since my childhood, I’ve been angry with my father and barely talked to him.
Even today, every time I see him, I worry about what he might say (which would make me mad or hurt).
It’s almost like I am waiting for opportunities to feel anxious. I wish to I could stop this.
A wonderfully clear description of the difference between fear and anxiety.
Good three step response to address worry and bring from anticipated threat to the present moment.
Very well put in a clear, empathic way.
Thank you.
You are right, most of the times is seeing myself unable (or deficient) to face a situation (not smart enough, not good enough, self-defeating thoughts…). Fear and anxiety manifest, in my body, mostly as in the solar plexus, like if a tiger was ripping that area with its claws. Also I contract the belly and hold my breath. Thank you Tara X
Thanks so much for good advice. Will use I hope.
this worrying takes up too much of my time and energy. Thanks for the 3 steps.
Thanks for your helpful guidance. I don’t always make the link between what I am thinking and feeling in my body and I enjoy breathing until I feel calmer. Again, the reminder to soothe myself. Not always obvious when I’m annoyed or troubled by a worry. Sometimes seems hard to do. To see the situation anew, not stuck in my worry. My present situation is more welcome. Thanks again.
I felt my body begin to relax and my shoulders to drop down from my ears. I opened my eyes to see the beautiful morning light of new day with a fresh start. Thank you!
Thank you Tara and Ruth, a lovely offering that will strengthen my practice. Yes, chronic anxiety is something I’ve dealt with most of my life, and the thoughts that surround it are substantial. One of the things I noticed is my knowledge of the damage this does physiologically, creates the desire to rid myself of the anxiety, which strengthens the loop, rather than releasing it. It simply is not helpful to imagine damaging cortisol (which can be felt) coursing through one’s energy field. However, continually working to meet myself where I am and befriend.
Thank you Tara. This is so timely for me, because I have a PhD in Worrying! And much as I have worked with meditation techniques, read books, and worked a 12-step recovery program, I can still get caught up just like that when I hear one of my children is in trouble. Fear for their lives and their future. along with a tendency to blame myself for not having been an adequate mother for them, seem to be my immediate response to their crises. I know it’s irrational, but sure enough my heart begins to race, my chest feels heavy, I feel like I’m in labour again when it comes to the body. But your third suggestion here is wonderful and definitely helps: to offer myself comforting thoughts, and recognise that for right now anyway, things are good, or as they are supposed to be and all is well in my own world at this moment. ” Let go and let God” is a helpful slogan when I can remember and practice it, too. Thank you!
My first thought was it’s just Old wine in a new bottle! However, I have to admit that your presentation makes the three step process much easier to understand and practice. Thanks. Suseela
But what will I do without the worry???? My whole life is based on worrying about my not being good enough….. for whatever task is on hand and then I just do it quickly and not very well, just to get rid of it and to tick the box, so to speak. A lifetime of bad habits.
For the past year, I have been battling cancer. My fear was initially focused around my treatments and now, my worries have been focused around whether or not my body will heal. Mindfulness has gotten me through the past year. I found Tara’s video quite useful and intend to practice when I feel the worry and anxiety over the next few weeks.
Thanks Tara ???
You always offer the nicest little psycho-eds. I have taken 2 of your courses too and thought they were great! Karen Macke MA, LPC-s
Once again Tara ,you are an amazing Healer.
To get the feel of the method, I practiced as you were describing and OM. HAVING SOMETHING TO GAUGE AGAINST THE AUTOMATIC THINKING was a REVELATION that I can now pass on to my Peers.
Until my brain has something new to latch onto, it remains stuck. Having said that, until ACTION is put in place to alter the Loop , it remains ALL IN YOUR HEAD.
Namaste
Very helpful. Thank you. I usually can’t make myself sit still long enough to pay attention to my anxiety and pain, but I did today.
I have two free days coming up and I’m usually all consumed with what is ahead which totally destroys my “should be” two great days of fun. Because of the worry, I don’t even know how to have fun. ACK! So, I’m going to take time and follow through with the 3 steps.
I will be stopping many times to accomplish this activity as my habit is very strong.
Thank you Tara!
My anxiety (which I am learning to deal with) has been paralyzing! Most of it is about health concerns! What I have learned is that most of my anxious thought over health, in reality never turn out to be as bad as my mind imagined. When I finally got to a dentist, imagining a total extraction- it turned out to be some cavities and they were taken care of easily! I worried for many months.
When I speak about the anxiety to the specific doctor and it is taken care of, it has never been as bad as I worried about!
Thank you
My experience with addiction to worry is very much the self-doubt tara talked about. Ups and downs in life have been tainted with the touch of crippling insecurity and self-blame because of it. I am committed to bringing myself relief from some these bad habits and redirect my energies to self-acceptance.
Thank you, Tara. I have listened to many of your training presentations over several years. As a therapist I find the information and your presentation to be very applicable in my therapy practice for treating clients with situational and generalized anxiety problems. Please keep them coming 🙂
Karen Turner, MA, Psychotherapist
BC Canada
keeps me from completing tasks and gets in the way of authentic interactions with people I love.
Very very calming.
Good exercises Thank you
Several things have contributed to my addiction to worry. I have rationalized that it’s not worry, it’s being prepared! I lived for 26 years in an emotionally abusive relationship and I am an Administrative Assistant by trade. Both that relationship and in my career the result I was looking for was approval and acceptance from those around me. As a result I lost myself in the marriage and my need to be everything to everyone in my career became worse. I just within the last several years have slowly been coming to the realization of my need to get a handle on these two things. I am divorce, and then after 10 years remarried. Watching your video today made me see that I have allowed myself to fall back into those old behaviors and thought processes I had in my first marriage. I have become efficient enough in my career I no longer become anxious about pleasing people in most cases, because I have proven to them and to myself that I am good at what I do. I will be working on communicating with my spouse and improving that situation now. I’m new to mindfulness and having a hard time getting the hang of it! Looking forward to more videos.
Very helpful. Just what my therapist and I have been working on. And it’s hard work!
I have been a lifelong worrier. It’s certainly a habit now and I wonder what I would fill that void with.
Beautiful words
I feel a sense of freedom from my worries
Wish there was a written transcript.
Thank you Dr. Brach for your clear and effective presentation on a subject that so many people need to hear. I will do my part in sharing with clients and friends. Can’t wait for “self doubt” video!
Anxiety in some of my clients is totally debilitating, self-distancing, destroying peace and the joy of enjoying even simple things. Their world turns to a grey monotone ritual, there is no colour.
Like you said, this is a lifelong practice we have to return to over and over. Thanks for presenting a very clear way to handle it. I read another comment below that made me think about my bad, lifelong relation with my own father. Some years before he died I had a meeting with him and prepared myself to focus on what was important to me, and to keep calm and collected.
– Daddy, I have always been scared of you, my whole life, I said to him.
He could barely believe me, he got surprised, a bit angry, was almost leaving the room but came back. And we talked for more than an hour, that was very relieving for me and helped our relation to be better his last years. The thing I learned from this – It´s always worth trying, you’ve got nothing to loose!
Thank you Tara! Good, clear and uncomplicated steps. Now, to practice them!
Best,
Binah
Wonderful teaching moments. You make the unclear radically accessible. Thank you Dr. Brach!
I have a very anxious fear about doctors. My blood pressure goes very high before the appointment. I assume the worst! My heart is racing! I have various medical issues I’m dealing with – aging brings more! I always assume the worst. (Don’t know if this related to a thyroid storm I had prior to thyroid surgery many years ago.) At my appointment, I ask the nurse to take my blood pressure following the appt. Sometimes this works. I do see my doctors when necessary and go through this worry/anxiety cycle every time.
Chronic anxiety is difficult to manage because it IS chronic, and worrying is always there. Perceiving it as an addiction is helpful. And being mindful and practising seem to be the way of getting back some control of a run-away mind and finding more joy in life.
To listen to Mrs Tarabrach on fear and anxiety, the difference between both and way to manage it in one’s life is explained in so simple terms,I have enjoyed listening to that, specially 3 step method ,.My sincear thanks.
Since meditating for 12-40 minutes each day, I don’t mind loop anymore. I CAN let it go…some places in my life are still harder than others, but I notice I have much more courage and while the anxious thoughts still surface, the feelings don’t….I can choose a different thought. Also, I constantly think I am safe, I am happy, I have everything I need.
First, I have to decide if relieving my anxiety is what I want to do. (This could be self defeating because it sets me up for a challenge that must be met and overcome. More anxiety? Anxiety about anxiety? The loop?) I accept it . Let it be. The anxiety becomes fear when the future moment becomes present. I have to find my comfort space in the present moment; a place I feel safe, secure and protected. This could be found on my own or with the help of another. Maybe it is the reassurance that I need from time to time. Something as simple as, “It’s O.K.; everything is O.K.; this too will pass.” Like a lesson to be learned it has to be repeated over and over again until it becomes second nature.
Worry could also be beneficial. We become more vigilante, alert. It motivates us to be prepared.
I am a recovering worry addict ..even as a child I remember worrying about everything ..my aha moment came to me when I had kids , and my mother said to me ..”You’re a good mom , you worry a lot “… the light went on , that wasn’t the kind of mom I wanted to be .. bringing mindfulness into my life has helped tremendously , I like your suggestion to say something kind to myself as well when caught up in a worry loop instead of reprimanding myself for being a “worrier” …I change that to “warrior” .. feels empowering. Thank you <3
Paula
Thank you so much, I actually get warm feet at the end of my day just as I sit to relax. Never when busy running around. So when I sit and don’t feel it right away I say where is it and even though it is bothersome I wait for it to come, and then it comes. It is like a bothersome friend, but yet a friend. I want it to never come but after 2 years will wonder where it is. It is truly a mental habit that is bad for me but don’t know how to stop it. Although tapping has helped.
I consider myself very normal except for these habits that I have dealt with most of my life. One time it was my back,another my head, another my jaw. Always after a stressful period in my life but doesn’t want to leave, or I don’t let it leave. Thanks, I now say all is well and I am safe! From Louise Hay
Fabulously clear and concise Thankyou
Thanks for sharing, wonderful way you explained this and great step by step practice to break this habit of cuddling anxious thoughts. Looking forward to the next one!
I use a breathing technique called SRI. The first 3 stages entail placing your hands on either head, chest or abdomen area, then breath into the hands. Moving the hands around, noticing blockages. When you find one you don’t stay there you pendulate back to an area that has good open breath. Then after a few breaths then return to the blocked area. Repeat. Also at another level pendulate between between zones. E.g. breath in at chest level then move hands to the abdomin and breath into the hands. It is a bit more complex as this technique requires that you also move the body. The chest muscles move and the abdomin muscles push out and then relax. It is physical as well as breath orientated. It is a Donald Epstein technique. Very powerful and healing.
Without worrying I might invite the bad things to come. Like I have to be vigilant or otherwise I do not deserve a happy life.
Very clear, helpful and workable. Thank you.
It is mind & body opening, I find it very useful & will keep practicing myself. What I realised with these steps is that I practice mindfulness, meditation & guided visualization with my clients to help them with their anxiety but I hardly practice it myself. This is an awakening massage for me & I like to thank you for this. Look forward to part three.
I am grateful for the opportunity to meet me in such a wonderful, deep and loving way, to get closer to my inner life and to enable myself to live a fulfilling and strong life out of myself.
Thank you very much.
Thank you that was awesome! The teens I work with will love this?? keeping it simple is the key.
I am less worried wen I think “content”. I feel the word content as stabel and warm in my hips (in the first place), chest, heart, shoulders, arms and throat.
I like your clear and concise description of fear and anxiety as well as the acknowledgement and acceptance of the anxiety. The description of the mindfulness steps are very helpful
Very helpful and straightforward method. Thankyou.
Since my childhood, I’ve been angry with my father and barely talked to him.
Even today, every time I see him, I worry about what he might say (which would make me mad or hurt).
It’s almost like I am waiting for opportunities to feel anxious. I wish to I could stop this.
A wonderfully clear description of the difference between fear and anxiety.
Good three step response to address worry and bring from anticipated threat to the present moment.
Very well put in a clear, empathic way.
Thank you.