I learnt, as a child, in an unsafe household to be hyper-alert and further trauma in my life has compounded this tendency – it’s the gift that keeps on giving! And most of the time I don’t even realise I’m doing it, it’s become so deeply ingrained. I look forward to the time when, with practice, fear loosens it’s grip on me.
Randy Deane, Another Field, Indianapolis, IN, USAsays
Thank you Tara,
Very powerful release practice, and helpful understanding! Of course, it is amazing how quickly the habitual worries return. . . and I noticed how these worries were closely tied to my childhood!! It is like I’m still living with my fearful child self today! I was transported back to my earliest fears of hopeless deficiencies. It is like this traumatic childhood fright was hard wired into my brain and could never be dislodged.
I grew up with worry. My mother worried about the future. It was an everyday occurence in our household. We thought that if we didn’t have some anxiety about a situation it would be sure to be disastrous. And when it wasn’t we were so relieved and had temporary happiness. A physical habit of my sisters and myself was biting and picking our fingers when anxious. We learned this “stress relief” from our mother. It took years for me to stop this habit and lessen my anxiety.
I worry that people are losing connection. Closeness. And I worry that I am too lost among people. I worry about kids. My three kids and kids I teach at school. I worry they are getting lost along the way…I worry I will not have time to finally get it right before I go…With my bulimia and with my inner freedom. Thank you so much. When I walk my dogs and listen to Tara,I feel at peace. Michala from Slovakia
I worry everyday. I am aware of the 3 steps and practice time to time but not consistently which then leads to me to judge myself how I can’t stick with it. The base of worry is fear and trying to find ways or REACT in order to protect myself and close family
You’re so great! Thank you for this. For me, worry is almost a favored pastime. I so needed to hear your talk today and to practice the steps. Thank you forever!
I keep working on BEING.
On feeling more and thinking less.
Sometimes is possible and always difficult.
Having read Mary’s comments about losing her child I feel her pain and fear.
Feeling and fearing are so close.
Please help us a shift from fearing to feeling.
Thank you Tara🙏🏻
Julia Doody, Another Field, Solana Beach, CA, USAsays
I have a habitual and chronic worry in relationship to my son (25 yo) who is neurodivergent (a gift) but that creates anxiety in me – choices he makes, his future, his problem drinking, his poor coping skills in times of stress. I have been working on this somewhat co-dependent dynamic for many many years. This is something I want to improve.
I am a retired addiction counselor, I miss trainings required to keep license current. I was a single, working mom who benefited from learning skills to manage the worries I experienced through those years. Now I am a senior mom dealing with worry related to my grown sons illness.
I habitually don’t expect it to be ok, this means I go out in the world seeing the worst not the best. This sets me up to receive the worst….I’m aware of this loop but it hasn’t stopped it from happening.
In my family my mother was a chronic worrier , very anxious person, and I would be the one to offer her compassion and to sooth her with calming words and love . I do wonder about how genetically I am prone to anxiety and worry, that it was something I learned from my mother. Aware of that possibility I am able to help myself shift from worry to self empathy.
I always enjoy Tara Beach’s talks. She gives practical, clear examples of what I can do to overcome fear, anxiety, and self-doubt. Her strategies really work!
I lost my son in an aviation accident a few years ago and now I worry constantly that I will lose my other son or grandsons. Before, I never thought it possible I could lose a child, but now that it has happened to me, I realize it could happen again. None of us are immune to the tragedy of a child loss. I am full of worry every day.
thru listening to this talk, I realize my worries relate more to my distrust of men, my fear that I will be let down, not protected. this comes from way back in childhood and it’s heavy. I guess I still need to get some more counseling.
hi I am addicted to many things, including fear and worry.
I have a 12 step program which helps but I love your work and I am excited about this 3 part series.
Thanks
Thank you. I could feel tension in my lower back, which I now realise has been consistently present. Your training has helped me release a little. I’ll keep practicing. Thanks again.
I was diagnosed from my early teens with Generalized Anxiety. Ever since, I have used yoga and meditation to deal with that. But there’s a lot of fear present in my life. still.
This so resonated with me. I have done this “loop” just about as far back as I can remember.
It is hard wired for me.
Thoughts for me went right to comparison of others
the jealousy of others
feeling like crap then usually using food, activity, shame and guilt
The it would begin again with a thought or image.
I was never encouraged or taught to check in with my body.
Just to suck it up buttercup boots on the ground any thing else was “selfish”
I don’t know if this makes any sense to anyone else.
With this session I now have a plan.
Made me more aware of the physical dimension/ impact on the body of chronic worry. I must try out this 3 step practice today itself, to start the process of de- conditioning my worry thoughts, n unhitching from ‘negativity bias’. thank you, my namesake, Tara!!
In past experiences I used worry about a future event or situation as a defence mechanism, I thought if I saw the worst to happen then I would be prepared if things went wrong and gladly surprised if they didn’t. I can see now that created a slow burning addiction which has been difficult to release. Having this awareness and steps to identify will most definitely aid letting go of the hold it has had me in.
My clients have often come to realize that there is sort of a magical thinking about worrying, I. If I worry enough, I can ward off something bad, happening. And since often what they worry about does not happen, it reinforces in their minds that it must be because I worried enough and if I don’t worry enough, it’s my fault if something does happen. Helping them look at the realistic understanding that worrying has no power to change a thing, is often helpful. Also, doing the” what if…” exercise, asking them not to talk themselves out of their worry, but follow it to its end, often has some realize the end result they worry about is preposterous!
Thank you for this video series. I truly feel blessed – and excited. You are giving me true golden nuggets of wisdom and practices I can use with my clients. I think perhaps what I’m enjoying the most is you are saying everything succinctly. I have been exposed to these teaching before, but as that old joke goes, ‘If I had more time I’d write you a shorter letter’ – I feel you have taken the extra time in this short video series, to be clearer. Thank you, Marc
I know that my worrying comes from past generations of women in my family who had to survive very difficult times and keep themselves and their children safe. It lives deep in my mind and body, though, so I have difficulty countering it. I just keep asking myself how I’m contributing to its continuation, and keep trying to internalize the awareness that worry relates to the future, and I might be much better off imagining a fantastic future!
Catherine LeClair, Another Field, Nyack, NY, USAsays
Addiction to worry has shown up in my life as doing work that I know how to do but do not enjoy instead of trying to find a way that is more joyful for me. This has led to feelings that I am not valuable except in my capacity to do work. And, when I try new things – whether as vocation or avocation – a deluge of negative self talk about not knowing what I am doing and being selfish for trying to do something that is more personally meaningful leads to feelings of shame around my effort to break my habits. As Tara might say, a double arrow! But, I have worked on this for years and have learned through practice how to have more compassion as a response rather than shame. It still can get me down though.
It has been quite a journey for me . Growing up I was exposed to many who were anxious about the future. However I did not find them freeze due to that . I saw how relying on some divine power and downloading worries to that power released the clutch of anxiety on a daily basis .. at least that is what I believed. Personally I found that practice alone, did not help me and it was difficult to share that with others.
I share the RAIN practice with my friends and patients . That practice has clearly helped me be more fear, anxiety and anger free.
Now I find my anxiety and fear are very transitory. My anger, my friend.
Thank you very much for all that you do .
For the third step of offering kindness to the feelings, (for me the feeling of not being “good”), saying to myself that ‘this is really awful’ is giving me the self compassion and lack of judgement that I need.
I get stressed because my life is so full, after I got married for the first time, in my sixties. I feel I need more time to myself, even if we have arranged it, so that I do have much time for myself. I understood right now, that I am afraid to loose myself, to loose control over my life. I appriciate my new life and my partner so much. But because of childhood experiences I can easily loose myself and be a victim of other peolple, let them take the lead. I realize right now that I do not need more solitude to live my life fully, I need to stand up for myself, in a free and positive way, right here and now. I must not engage in a lot of activities to have my own life. I need more rest. And I can give myself that that, and in stead engage in finding more power in myself!
Miles Braun, Medicine, North Potomac , MD, USAsays
Worry’s etymology is from ‘wer’ which is an an Indo-European root meaning turn or bend. ‘Wer’ is also the root of ‘vrtti’, as in yoga sutra 1.2: yoga citta vrtti nirodhah ! Yoga is the modification of the vrtti of the mind 🙏🏼
Thank you Tara appreciating this mindfulness process and continuing to meet the thoughts sensations emotions memories and associations with more spaciousness of n our beings. Love the hand on the heart and reassurance
I love tapping too it’s been such a wonderful liberating tool in hand with this practice.
I have inherited anxiety and also through a series of events in my life from my birth and broken family where my psyche has learned to be tracking for what’s wrong and who and what is going to leave…I have recently had a medicine experience grounded in 20 yr meditation practice and other journey work that gifted me with an embodied experience of holding love trust and truth in my heart as I sat and looked into my husbands eyes, I witnessed my consciousness and psyche traverse all the fears my mind and past wanted to project onto him, onto life and could feel both a softening into my heart and a strong grounded feeling of ability to see through all illusion and to see my husband in his layers and that what he goes through in his patterning and fears wasn’t about me or us… the love and deep trust was transforming and helped me to anchor a new embodied experience in a new way. It was allowing the worry to dissolve into my heart rather than all the shaking things out I used to do to move through fears before. Movement still works but I also have a new anchored beingness that I am grateful for . I know I’ll meet these projections again in life, and am grateful to have these practices and direct experiences with medicines. and grateful for you Tara for all your guidance and who you are.
Carolyn Zollars, Another Field, Carlsbad, CA, USAsays
It seems like I will be in a good place mentally and then a few worrisome things hit me in short order, causing a “worry loop” in my brain that’s hard to break. I need to learn how to stop this! I have always been a positive person but this may have been exacerbated by the civid period?
I wasn’t aware of this addiction but after listening to your talk, I can recognise how addicted I am to my worrying habit. Every time something goes well, immediately I think what can get wrong and how long it will last.
For me it was especially important to know how much chronic anxiety has an intense impact on the body and how negative this affects the whole health system.
Many thanks.
Thank you for addressing this issue. As an abuse survivor, I grew up living in fear. Because of that, or perhaps I had a proclivity toward cluster b symptoms, fear was the only emotion/sensation I could actually FEEL. I’m 63 now and have begun using an emotion wheel chart to help me identify my feelings, to help me name and get in touch with how I actually feel. I believe this mini-course you are so kindly and generously offering will help with the inner work I’m doing. So thanks again. 💕💕
Years ago I did not know what worry was. I was good at letting things go. Now at 72, I feel anxious most of the time. It started with a strained relationship with my son and his wife where I seem to have lost my self esteem. I realize I have to work on my thoughts and realize all of my fears.
I really emphasise with your pain.
My relationship with our son became inceasingly strained once he hit adolescence. His choice of spouse did not help and between the two of them their behaviour, and that of their friends, caused me to gradually loose my self confidence and became increasingly anxious and depressed ( although to be fair ,I had always had the kernel of these tendencies, due to childhood trauma) . It reached a point where I drew a line and decided to start putting things in place whereby I was no longer letting them dictate certain decisions ( where and with whom to spend our holidays etc) – ones I knew would leave me feeling out of control and awful about myself.
Very sadly, soon after making this decision, he was diagnosed with a devastating form of brain cancer which took his life 2 years later.
What irony!
I had to temporarily translocate and become deeply involved with him and his family life in order to help care for him and his young family. I have no regrets about doing this – It was my duty – but it was incredibly difficult and traumatising ( especially. dealing with our daughter in law who had a very different approach to the tragedy we jointly faced).
Now we, my husband and remaining child, have such terrible Grief at his loss – not in any way made easier by the fact that he had become a such a difficult adult – one that we did not always find easy to be around.
Life can be so hard. We must just try to gather as many tools that work for us to help deal with our traumas and tragedies. This video – and all of Tara Brach’s work – has been so helpful to me. She has an excellent website with many free tools to help people live a less stressful life.
Best wishes and blessings to you xxx
I learnt, as a child, in an unsafe household to be hyper-alert and further trauma in my life has compounded this tendency – it’s the gift that keeps on giving! And most of the time I don’t even realise I’m doing it, it’s become so deeply ingrained. I look forward to the time when, with practice, fear loosens it’s grip on me.
Thank you Tara,
Very powerful release practice, and helpful understanding! Of course, it is amazing how quickly the habitual worries return. . . and I noticed how these worries were closely tied to my childhood!! It is like I’m still living with my fearful child self today! I was transported back to my earliest fears of hopeless deficiencies. It is like this traumatic childhood fright was hard wired into my brain and could never be dislodged.
I grew up with worry. My mother worried about the future. It was an everyday occurence in our household. We thought that if we didn’t have some anxiety about a situation it would be sure to be disastrous. And when it wasn’t we were so relieved and had temporary happiness. A physical habit of my sisters and myself was biting and picking our fingers when anxious. We learned this “stress relief” from our mother. It took years for me to stop this habit and lessen my anxiety.
I’ve had generalized anxiety for more than 40 years
Worry and fear are my biggest issues.
I worry that people are losing connection. Closeness. And I worry that I am too lost among people. I worry about kids. My three kids and kids I teach at school. I worry they are getting lost along the way…I worry I will not have time to finally get it right before I go…With my bulimia and with my inner freedom. Thank you so much. When I walk my dogs and listen to Tara,I feel at peace. Michala from Slovakia
I worry everyday. I am aware of the 3 steps and practice time to time but not consistently which then leads to me to judge myself how I can’t stick with it. The base of worry is fear and trying to find ways or REACT in order to protect myself and close family
Addicted to worry is because I am in ‘my comfort zone’. My anxiety has been with me for 40+ years.
You’re so great! Thank you for this. For me, worry is almost a favored pastime. I so needed to hear your talk today and to practice the steps. Thank you forever!
I keep working on BEING.
On feeling more and thinking less.
Sometimes is possible and always difficult.
Having read Mary’s comments about losing her child I feel her pain and fear.
Feeling and fearing are so close.
Please help us a shift from fearing to feeling.
Thank you Tara🙏🏻
I have a habitual and chronic worry in relationship to my son (25 yo) who is neurodivergent (a gift) but that creates anxiety in me – choices he makes, his future, his problem drinking, his poor coping skills in times of stress. I have been working on this somewhat co-dependent dynamic for many many years. This is something I want to improve.
I am a retired addiction counselor, I miss trainings required to keep license current. I was a single, working mom who benefited from learning skills to manage the worries I experienced through those years. Now I am a senior mom dealing with worry related to my grown sons illness.
could I get a list of all your darling jokes please
I habitually don’t expect it to be ok, this means I go out in the world seeing the worst not the best. This sets me up to receive the worst….I’m aware of this loop but it hasn’t stopped it from happening.
In my family my mother was a chronic worrier , very anxious person, and I would be the one to offer her compassion and to sooth her with calming words and love . I do wonder about how genetically I am prone to anxiety and worry, that it was something I learned from my mother. Aware of that possibility I am able to help myself shift from worry to self empathy.
I always enjoy Tara Beach’s talks. She gives practical, clear examples of what I can do to overcome fear, anxiety, and self-doubt. Her strategies really work!
I lost my son in an aviation accident a few years ago and now I worry constantly that I will lose my other son or grandsons. Before, I never thought it possible I could lose a child, but now that it has happened to me, I realize it could happen again. None of us are immune to the tragedy of a child loss. I am full of worry every day.
Wake up every morning, start my day with worry
thru listening to this talk, I realize my worries relate more to my distrust of men, my fear that I will be let down, not protected. this comes from way back in childhood and it’s heavy. I guess I still need to get some more counseling.
hi I am addicted to many things, including fear and worry.
I have a 12 step program which helps but I love your work and I am excited about this 3 part series.
Thanks
Thank you. I could feel tension in my lower back, which I now realise has been consistently present. Your training has helped me release a little. I’ll keep practicing. Thanks again.
I often feel anxious in the middle of the night and try and listen to meditations when I wake up. Keep me from getting involved with my thoughts. !!
I was diagnosed from my early teens with Generalized Anxiety. Ever since, I have used yoga and meditation to deal with that. But there’s a lot of fear present in my life. still.
This so resonated with me. I have done this “loop” just about as far back as I can remember.
It is hard wired for me.
Thoughts for me went right to comparison of others
the jealousy of others
feeling like crap then usually using food, activity, shame and guilt
The it would begin again with a thought or image.
I was never encouraged or taught to check in with my body.
Just to suck it up buttercup boots on the ground any thing else was “selfish”
I don’t know if this makes any sense to anyone else.
With this session I now have a plan.
Made me more aware of the physical dimension/ impact on the body of chronic worry. I must try out this 3 step practice today itself, to start the process of de- conditioning my worry thoughts, n unhitching from ‘negativity bias’. thank you, my namesake, Tara!!
excellent. thanks Tara. short and sweet, packed with goodness and very useful. hope to be able to view again and again.
A musician or an artist
In past experiences I used worry about a future event or situation as a defence mechanism, I thought if I saw the worst to happen then I would be prepared if things went wrong and gladly surprised if they didn’t. I can see now that created a slow burning addiction which has been difficult to release. Having this awareness and steps to identify will most definitely aid letting go of the hold it has had me in.
step by step i will put the effort in to use these three steps based on identify- body mind mindfulness, compassion to self. this is great stuff
My clients have often come to realize that there is sort of a magical thinking about worrying, I. If I worry enough, I can ward off something bad, happening. And since often what they worry about does not happen, it reinforces in their minds that it must be because I worried enough and if I don’t worry enough, it’s my fault if something does happen. Helping them look at the realistic understanding that worrying has no power to change a thing, is often helpful. Also, doing the” what if…” exercise, asking them not to talk themselves out of their worry, but follow it to its end, often has some realize the end result they worry about is preposterous!
I love your short and sharp advice delivered with so much kindness and compassion. Thank You! Mgt
she is helpful…so helpful
Thank you for this video series. I truly feel blessed – and excited. You are giving me true golden nuggets of wisdom and practices I can use with my clients. I think perhaps what I’m enjoying the most is you are saying everything succinctly. I have been exposed to these teaching before, but as that old joke goes, ‘If I had more time I’d write you a shorter letter’ – I feel you have taken the extra time in this short video series, to be clearer. Thank you, Marc
I know that my worrying comes from past generations of women in my family who had to survive very difficult times and keep themselves and their children safe. It lives deep in my mind and body, though, so I have difficulty countering it. I just keep asking myself how I’m contributing to its continuation, and keep trying to internalize the awareness that worry relates to the future, and I might be much better off imagining a fantastic future!
Excellent! Thx
Addiction to worry has shown up in my life as doing work that I know how to do but do not enjoy instead of trying to find a way that is more joyful for me. This has led to feelings that I am not valuable except in my capacity to do work. And, when I try new things – whether as vocation or avocation – a deluge of negative self talk about not knowing what I am doing and being selfish for trying to do something that is more personally meaningful leads to feelings of shame around my effort to break my habits. As Tara might say, a double arrow! But, I have worked on this for years and have learned through practice how to have more compassion as a response rather than shame. It still can get me down though.
Thank you Tara for your generous sharing and these tools to challenge worrying unnecessarily
It has been quite a journey for me . Growing up I was exposed to many who were anxious about the future. However I did not find them freeze due to that . I saw how relying on some divine power and downloading worries to that power released the clutch of anxiety on a daily basis .. at least that is what I believed. Personally I found that practice alone, did not help me and it was difficult to share that with others.
I share the RAIN practice with my friends and patients . That practice has clearly helped me be more fear, anxiety and anger free.
Now I find my anxiety and fear are very transitory. My anger, my friend.
Thank you very much for all that you do .
worry is a poor use of imagination.
worrying is sacrificing the peace of today to consider tomorrow negatively
I’ve never thought about worrying in the way you framed it. This has resonated deeply in my soul. Love it, thank you!
For the third step of offering kindness to the feelings, (for me the feeling of not being “good”), saying to myself that ‘this is really awful’ is giving me the self compassion and lack of judgement that I need.
I get stressed because my life is so full, after I got married for the first time, in my sixties. I feel I need more time to myself, even if we have arranged it, so that I do have much time for myself. I understood right now, that I am afraid to loose myself, to loose control over my life. I appriciate my new life and my partner so much. But because of childhood experiences I can easily loose myself and be a victim of other peolple, let them take the lead. I realize right now that I do not need more solitude to live my life fully, I need to stand up for myself, in a free and positive way, right here and now. I must not engage in a lot of activities to have my own life. I need more rest. And I can give myself that that, and in stead engage in finding more power in myself!
Worry’s etymology is from ‘wer’ which is an an Indo-European root meaning turn or bend. ‘Wer’ is also the root of ‘vrtti’, as in yoga sutra 1.2: yoga citta vrtti nirodhah ! Yoga is the modification of the vrtti of the mind 🙏🏼
Thank you Tara appreciating this mindfulness process and continuing to meet the thoughts sensations emotions memories and associations with more spaciousness of n our beings. Love the hand on the heart and reassurance
I love tapping too it’s been such a wonderful liberating tool in hand with this practice.
I have inherited anxiety and also through a series of events in my life from my birth and broken family where my psyche has learned to be tracking for what’s wrong and who and what is going to leave…I have recently had a medicine experience grounded in 20 yr meditation practice and other journey work that gifted me with an embodied experience of holding love trust and truth in my heart as I sat and looked into my husbands eyes, I witnessed my consciousness and psyche traverse all the fears my mind and past wanted to project onto him, onto life and could feel both a softening into my heart and a strong grounded feeling of ability to see through all illusion and to see my husband in his layers and that what he goes through in his patterning and fears wasn’t about me or us… the love and deep trust was transforming and helped me to anchor a new embodied experience in a new way. It was allowing the worry to dissolve into my heart rather than all the shaking things out I used to do to move through fears before. Movement still works but I also have a new anchored beingness that I am grateful for . I know I’ll meet these projections again in life, and am grateful to have these practices and direct experiences with medicines. and grateful for you Tara for all your guidance and who you are.
A lot of times I’m just anxious… don’t know about what in particular but the same 3 steps apply.
It seems like I will be in a good place mentally and then a few worrisome things hit me in short order, causing a “worry loop” in my brain that’s hard to break. I need to learn how to stop this! I have always been a positive person but this may have been exacerbated by the civid period?
I wasn’t aware of this addiction but after listening to your talk, I can recognise how addicted I am to my worrying habit. Every time something goes well, immediately I think what can get wrong and how long it will last.
For me it was especially important to know how much chronic anxiety has an intense impact on the body and how negative this affects the whole health system.
Many thanks.
with years of practicing mindfulness and being present in the moment I no longer am addicted to worrying. I have skills that I use and teach.
Thank you for addressing this issue. As an abuse survivor, I grew up living in fear. Because of that, or perhaps I had a proclivity toward cluster b symptoms, fear was the only emotion/sensation I could actually FEEL. I’m 63 now and have begun using an emotion wheel chart to help me identify my feelings, to help me name and get in touch with how I actually feel. I believe this mini-course you are so kindly and generously offering will help with the inner work I’m doing. So thanks again. 💕💕
Years ago I did not know what worry was. I was good at letting things go. Now at 72, I feel anxious most of the time. It started with a strained relationship with my son and his wife where I seem to have lost my self esteem. I realize I have to work on my thoughts and realize all of my fears.
I really emphasise with your pain.
My relationship with our son became inceasingly strained once he hit adolescence. His choice of spouse did not help and between the two of them their behaviour, and that of their friends, caused me to gradually loose my self confidence and became increasingly anxious and depressed ( although to be fair ,I had always had the kernel of these tendencies, due to childhood trauma) . It reached a point where I drew a line and decided to start putting things in place whereby I was no longer letting them dictate certain decisions ( where and with whom to spend our holidays etc) – ones I knew would leave me feeling out of control and awful about myself.
Very sadly, soon after making this decision, he was diagnosed with a devastating form of brain cancer which took his life 2 years later.
What irony!
I had to temporarily translocate and become deeply involved with him and his family life in order to help care for him and his young family. I have no regrets about doing this – It was my duty – but it was incredibly difficult and traumatising ( especially. dealing with our daughter in law who had a very different approach to the tragedy we jointly faced).
Now we, my husband and remaining child, have such terrible Grief at his loss – not in any way made easier by the fact that he had become a such a difficult adult – one that we did not always find easy to be around.
Life can be so hard. We must just try to gather as many tools that work for us to help deal with our traumas and tragedies. This video – and all of Tara Brach’s work – has been so helpful to me. She has an excellent website with many free tools to help people live a less stressful life.
Best wishes and blessings to you xxx