Dear Tara, I first heard you back in 2006 when I homeschooled my anxious child. We bought a CD to help us learn meditation. Both my kids have learned thru you, (& dear Jon karat zinn and Thick Nhat Hann) one has classic ASD with communication disability and the other AS with social emotional impairment. I understand your take on fear and it does impact our live tremendously! One side thought though is fear becomes the norm. Disassociation becomes our protector and flight our path. I was the fearful child who could not learn, who bit her nails, was beaten regularity, who ran away, who got hurt, who scraped together a life without support or education… lol yeah fear sure does make things complicated!
Who would I have been without fear…. Superwoman for sure! The school of hard knocks builds resilience that no others have experienced, determination beyond belief— the examples of our warrior parents who also lived lives of fear also makes each and every generation less fearful but more messed I think. Perhaps not less fearful… that was my intent when raising my children. The problem tho is understanding that we aren’t as tough as we think, not as resilient as hoped for… our chakras are blocked and our fears disguised and we live a life of avoidance and denial…at least some do until the trigger hit! I guess my best answer to your question to who I would be without fear is much more trusting human being.
Hi! I’m excited I’m came across on social media. I have lived in fear for over 17 years now and it controls my life. I’m afraid to travel far from home, afraid of being stuck I. Traffics. Afraid something bad will happen to me, I always need my bottled water with me because I’m afraid something will happen to me and water will save me! As years go by there are more and more fears to stop me from living life and it’s exhausting
Thank you very much for what you are saying here. As a therapist, myself, I know how true your words are. This fearful heart may be the hardest thing to try to change about one’s self. The question, “Who would I be if I didn’t think something was wrong with me,” and these kinds of self-judgments often outweigh any objective examination of a person and cause endless problems in adulthood. I would welcome anything you have to say that would also help me in my job as Counselor. Thank you.
I love your stories as they make the material so much more useable as well as reduce the resistance to make the practices part of our everyday experience to improve and enhance our personal growth as well as that of our clients.
It seems it I were without fear it would give me the freedom to more about the world with out apprehension and worry. However as I begin to understand more about mindfulness and emotions I believe it’s helpful to turn toward fear and take a curious look at it learn to recognize body cues in order to regulate the emotion and proceed in a helpful way. With no fear at all I think one could become a fearless over-risk taking person who could put myself or others in danger.
I tried this lucid dreaming technique and understood the psychology behind it to face the monster chasing you. This however hasn’t worked for me – this results in a painful fight, talking to the chasing monster makes it bigger and scarier. Facing it causes it to attack. Stepping back or fighting back both result in me losing the fight an waking up from dying in the dream. I’ve never heard of this before, I wonder what it could mean. Are the fears beyond my ability to face them? Am I not truly facing them when I think I am?
Without the ancient belief that I am unloved, unlovable, and unloving, I would be a fearless female warrior in service of loving-kindness, compassion, and wisdom. I have been working on that — in my spiritual practice, in art, and in life.
I would be open and able to know that I can handle whatever comes my way. I would lean into, face and accept my biggest insecurities with love and compassion for my flawed humanity and thus extend this same compassion toward others free of judgement.
In answering this pivotal question, what came to my mind: I would be FREE from fear-filled beliefs, more accepting of who I am, with increased self-worth. I would be confident, strong, and inspired to speak up more, to share my ideas, believe they are worthy of being shared, not care as much how others may perceive/judge me. I would be more motivated to consistently pursue my goals, and work towards having the quality of life and relationships that are enriching, loving, and nourishing.
Love and appreciate you, your work, and this deep question. Thank you! Without fear, I apply my expertise in a leadership role in my community (and beyond).
I honestly don’t know. I think if I did, it would be easier to choose to step away from it. But it has become an integral part of me, and imagining life without it feels impossible.
My adult granddaughter has issues of fear and anxiety, access to a therapist, but doesn’t take advantage of the service. I try to be supportive in a non judge mental way. Have forwarded Tara’s link to her, and will use some of the suggestions given with her as way opens.
I have no idea who i would be. Nevertheless, I imagine that I would not have so many aching regrets. I would have been in the world in a more connected way, with myself and therefore others.
What a beautiful question. I would be who I want to be. Like the Buffalo who always faces the storm. Instinctively, he knows it’s the quickest way through the storm.
more loving with more spaciousness inside, more engaged in life, less attentive to inner chatter
Free to be me and fully live
Dear Tara, I first heard you back in 2006 when I homeschooled my anxious child. We bought a CD to help us learn meditation. Both my kids have learned thru you, (& dear Jon karat zinn and Thick Nhat Hann) one has classic ASD with communication disability and the other AS with social emotional impairment. I understand your take on fear and it does impact our live tremendously! One side thought though is fear becomes the norm. Disassociation becomes our protector and flight our path. I was the fearful child who could not learn, who bit her nails, was beaten regularity, who ran away, who got hurt, who scraped together a life without support or education… lol yeah fear sure does make things complicated!
Who would I have been without fear…. Superwoman for sure! The school of hard knocks builds resilience that no others have experienced, determination beyond belief— the examples of our warrior parents who also lived lives of fear also makes each and every generation less fearful but more messed I think. Perhaps not less fearful… that was my intent when raising my children. The problem tho is understanding that we aren’t as tough as we think, not as resilient as hoped for… our chakras are blocked and our fears disguised and we live a life of avoidance and denial…at least some do until the trigger hit! I guess my best answer to your question to who I would be without fear is much more trusting human being.
This is a very good question which I know some of my clients will really benefit from, so thank you very much Mary Jo
Hi! I’m excited I’m came across on social media. I have lived in fear for over 17 years now and it controls my life. I’m afraid to travel far from home, afraid of being stuck I. Traffics. Afraid something bad will happen to me, I always need my bottled water with me because I’m afraid something will happen to me and water will save me! As years go by there are more and more fears to stop me from living life and it’s exhausting
Thank you very much for what you are saying here. As a therapist, myself, I know how true your words are. This fearful heart may be the hardest thing to try to change about one’s self. The question, “Who would I be if I didn’t think something was wrong with me,” and these kinds of self-judgments often outweigh any objective examination of a person and cause endless problems in adulthood. I would welcome anything you have to say that would also help me in my job as Counselor. Thank you.
I love your stories as they make the material so much more useable as well as reduce the resistance to make the practices part of our everyday experience to improve and enhance our personal growth as well as that of our clients.
Amazing
It seems it I were without fear it would give me the freedom to more about the world with out apprehension and worry. However as I begin to understand more about mindfulness and emotions I believe it’s helpful to turn toward fear and take a curious look at it learn to recognize body cues in order to regulate the emotion and proceed in a helpful way. With no fear at all I think one could become a fearless over-risk taking person who could put myself or others in danger.
My energy would feel lighter, I would be comfortable in my authentic self expression and being seen and heard by others
More outgoing and positive
I tried this lucid dreaming technique and understood the psychology behind it to face the monster chasing you. This however hasn’t worked for me – this results in a painful fight, talking to the chasing monster makes it bigger and scarier. Facing it causes it to attack. Stepping back or fighting back both result in me losing the fight an waking up from dying in the dream. I’ve never heard of this before, I wonder what it could mean. Are the fears beyond my ability to face them? Am I not truly facing them when I think I am?
I would have better access to my natural gifts and talents. I would have so much more energy to use them.
Thank you to Tara Brach. I appreciated your “Cultivating a Fearless Heart” and I also like your podcast meditations. Marsha Mathews, PsyD
I would be braver and a better role model for my kids. I would be more decisive and less paralysed with decision making…
i would be smiling and kind to myself and others
I would be free, more courageous to help others and more peaceful.
An inspiration for others and a confident artist.
I would keep doing the positive, life and relationship things I am doing, but with less anxiety, and with more assurance.
Mary Dean
I’d be happy. A great would be lifted off my shoulders. Thanks so much
A more relaxed and adventurous person
Without the ancient belief that I am unloved, unlovable, and unloving, I would be a fearless female warrior in service of loving-kindness, compassion, and wisdom. I have been working on that — in my spiritual practice, in art, and in life.
I would be open and able to know that I can handle whatever comes my way. I would lean into, face and accept my biggest insecurities with love and compassion for my flawed humanity and thus extend this same compassion toward others free of judgement.
A happier, calmer, more grateful person. One who looks forward to each new day,new experience without the dread of waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Wonderful ideas to share with my clients to help them defuse from where they are stuck. (And for me too). Thanks
DCW
I would be free…..Ahhhhhbut, I might also feel alone, or scared.
In answering this pivotal question, what came to my mind: I would be FREE from fear-filled beliefs, more accepting of who I am, with increased self-worth. I would be confident, strong, and inspired to speak up more, to share my ideas, believe they are worthy of being shared, not care as much how others may perceive/judge me. I would be more motivated to consistently pursue my goals, and work towards having the quality of life and relationships that are enriching, loving, and nourishing.
A happier,calmer, more grateful person. One who looks forward to each new day,new experience without the dread of waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I would trust my inner wisdom, to my inherent God given health, and not cave in to social pressures, or worry about being judged
I would be a happy loving person with more friends and enjoying life more.
Love and appreciate you, your work, and this deep question. Thank you! Without fear, I apply my expertise in a leadership role in my community (and beyond).
A thriving and resilient friend and sister
I’d be free, living my life much more joyfully and daring.
I honestly don’t know. I think if I did, it would be easier to choose to step away from it. But it has become an integral part of me, and imagining life without it feels impossible.
I would sing each morning out of each night ~
I’d be open, accessible…to all my dreams and all the light within me.
Such an excellent question but not easy to answer without help to stop the loop of fear- to step out of that “role” you’ve lived in for so long.
I would be strong, resilient and a beacon of hope to others
Freedom to be my authentic self!❤️
My adult granddaughter has issues of fear and anxiety, access to a therapist, but doesn’t take advantage of the service. I try to be supportive in a non judge mental way. Have forwarded Tara’s link to her, and will use some of the suggestions given with her as way opens.
I would be more willing to take risks. Thank you for this wonderful question, which I can envision using often with clients.
I would be at peace
I would be able to live an authentic life without hiding my worth
The same person I am, with fear. Fearless.
I have no idea who i would be. Nevertheless, I imagine that I would not have so many aching regrets. I would have been in the world in a more connected way, with myself and therefore others.
Thank you I appreciated your words of wisdom – personally I will add “It feels Real but it’s not True”
What a beautiful question. I would be who I want to be. Like the Buffalo who always faces the storm. Instinctively, he knows it’s the quickest way through the storm.
I would be a people of success, happy one, a person who truly enjoy freedom, working online, traveling and live the life.
I would embody love by emanating peace and acceptance of myself and others and trusting myself to be a guide for those I seek to help.
I believe that I would be a happier person and more accepting of myself