Primarily I think I would be freed from myself, from being self preoccupied,overly concerned by other people’s judgement of me. I think I would be more free to do whatever it is I’m on this earth to do ….as well as enjoying more all that life has to offer….
Anyway, I can’t help but suspect that unresolved pain is somehow linked to fear.
Caroline Myss said that
“Many people in the midst of a “process” of healing, I saw, are at the same time feeling stuck. They are striving to confront their wounds, valiantly working to bring meaning to terrible past experiences and traumas, and exercising compassionate understanding of others who share their wounds. But they are not healing. They have redefined their lives around their wounds and the process of accepting them. They are not working to get beyond their wounds. In fact, they are stuck in their wounds”
Carl Jung said that “all neurosis is a substitute for legitimate suffering”
According to the Gnostic scriptures which were not included in the New Testament, it was said,
If thou hadst known how to suffer,
thou wouldest have been able not to suffer.
Learn thou to suffer, and thou shalt be able not to suffer.
If I understand the above quotes correctly, those who are traumatized (hence live in fear) have unknowingly integrated their trauma as part of their identity and go so far as to take pride in it. But this pride is false because it’s fueled by an overvaluation of their suffering. This overvalued suffering is then often used to manipulate others to gain what they never got prior to their trauma: love and affection.
Deepak Chopra follows along the same lines as the aforementioned authors by saying
“Suffering is when you are attached to your pain. But pain needs to be witnessed (embraced). When you lock up your pain, it becomes anger; anger is nothing but remembered pain. What is anxiety and fear? It is anticipated pain. What is guilt? It is redirected pain (towards oneself). What is depression? It is the depletion of energy when you don’t know these things. These are the sorrows of our society, when we do not embrace our pain”
So, the burning question I have is: what are the direct psychotherapeutic means by which our trauma can be dealt with Legitimately so as to end our self created bondage? So much is known ABOUT trauma and fear -it’s been studied ad nauseum- but I have not yet heard about the direct means by which we can end this internal madness that often makes our lives a living nightmare.
Without fear, I will be free. Free to live my life, full of love, acceptance and fulfillment. I will be fearless! I will believe that I am lovable, capable and unstoppable. I will believe that my dreams are worth fighting for. I ask myself many questions, however I don’t believe I have ever asked this one for myself.
Thanks Tara.
I’d be someone who did everything she imagined she could do. I’d be a successful business woman, who was able to sell fair-priced coaching programs to corporations and individuals.
I’d be an author of a new genre, a crossover between memoir, self-help, popular science and poetry.
I’d be more open and loving.
Free, loving, open, peaceful, attentive with a heart felt capacity to hold life in a space of allowing ♥ I could turn up for my life and be of more service to others and be gentle and forgiving with myself
Thank you for the pace and calming voice. It is time for me to open up to possibilities and use the phrase ‘Real but not true’. Very insightful. Thank you
Interesting talk to watch thank you fear is a complicated topic for many of my clients and many of them would argue that they are real and true…..relating fear to the body is also very important for trauma survivors
If I am being honest, probably dead 🙂 But in the sense of how I would show up differently in the world without fear, I’d be more vivacious and free and expressive.
Your wise presentation was so helpful, for me and for a client who I work with in counseling who feels soooooooo much shame. I love what is going on with nicabm and try to take as many workshops as I can find. They have been so helpful. I love your suggestions of how to help clients process their fear and will be using it on Wednesday. God bless you and thank you for sharing your wisdom.
JoAnn Green from Cleveland
I’m very interested in your program. I just started Curable 3 months ago and have made great progress in changing my fear response to pain. And reduced my pain. I know I have a lot more fear based challenges. I know my mindfulness practices is vital and your meditations have helped so much.
As I’m listening and wondering the layers of fear people of color experience daily. My brother in law is a black person, and i asked him what it was like for him to step out of his home.
I believe apart from the fears you addressed, there are added layers that are real
I loved the part when you said to face the fear as fear in itself was in my case built from other external values. Once I had faced my fears they became an integral part of my journey and something I could face by saying ” real, but not true”.
I would be open to life and people and to freedom to be in the day trusting in good…in good coming to me no matter what I do and good coming from me to all those I meet.
I would be a person who follows more of her dreams that I currently do. I would feel lighter, freer, more alive.
I would be kinder and more generous.
Primarily I think I would be freed from myself, from being self preoccupied,overly concerned by other people’s judgement of me. I think I would be more free to do whatever it is I’m on this earth to do ….as well as enjoying more all that life has to offer….
I would b an activist unafraid to tackle the challenge of climate change,
I doubt I’ll get a response from Tara.
Anyway, I can’t help but suspect that unresolved pain is somehow linked to fear.
Caroline Myss said that
“Many people in the midst of a “process” of healing, I saw, are at the same time feeling stuck. They are striving to confront their wounds, valiantly working to bring meaning to terrible past experiences and traumas, and exercising compassionate understanding of others who share their wounds. But they are not healing. They have redefined their lives around their wounds and the process of accepting them. They are not working to get beyond their wounds. In fact, they are stuck in their wounds”
Carl Jung said that “all neurosis is a substitute for legitimate suffering”
According to the Gnostic scriptures which were not included in the New Testament, it was said,
If thou hadst known how to suffer,
thou wouldest have been able not to suffer.
Learn thou to suffer, and thou shalt be able not to suffer.
If I understand the above quotes correctly, those who are traumatized (hence live in fear) have unknowingly integrated their trauma as part of their identity and go so far as to take pride in it. But this pride is false because it’s fueled by an overvaluation of their suffering. This overvalued suffering is then often used to manipulate others to gain what they never got prior to their trauma: love and affection.
Deepak Chopra follows along the same lines as the aforementioned authors by saying
“Suffering is when you are attached to your pain. But pain needs to be witnessed (embraced). When you lock up your pain, it becomes anger; anger is nothing but remembered pain. What is anxiety and fear? It is anticipated pain. What is guilt? It is redirected pain (towards oneself). What is depression? It is the depletion of energy when you don’t know these things. These are the sorrows of our society, when we do not embrace our pain”
So, the burning question I have is: what are the direct psychotherapeutic means by which our trauma can be dealt with Legitimately so as to end our self created bondage? So much is known ABOUT trauma and fear -it’s been studied ad nauseum- but I have not yet heard about the direct means by which we can end this internal madness that often makes our lives a living nightmare.
I would be more confident in my abilities in all facets of life
I would feel free and more authentic
So clear and full of hope
I would be more present, more playful, lighter!
It is a masterful question.
I would be a confident fearless mother, daughter, friend and educator<3
I would be someone who does not have chest pain or headaches.
Thank you Tara <3
The same but, certainly, most of the time feeling stronger and secure!
I would be unafraid to express myself. I would be calm, centered, and compassionate.
That which I AM here to BE🙏🏼
So true!!!
Unsure, but look forward to meet her.
I would be a whole person again fully showing up in a world of wonderful possibilities and experiences.
I don’t know who I would be because I’ve been fearful my whole life. I look forward to meeting that person though.
Without fear, I will be free. Free to live my life, full of love, acceptance and fulfillment. I will be fearless! I will believe that I am lovable, capable and unstoppable. I will believe that my dreams are worth fighting for. I ask myself many questions, however I don’t believe I have ever asked this one for myself.
Thanks Tara.
I would be kind and loving, free and happy.
Je serais plus lumineuse et dégagée !
Thank you Tara
No fear would equal being my true self. I’m often scared and feel unliked/unloved
I’d be someone who did everything she imagined she could do. I’d be a successful business woman, who was able to sell fair-priced coaching programs to corporations and individuals.
I’d be an author of a new genre, a crossover between memoir, self-help, popular science and poetry.
I’d be more open and loving.
Free, loving, open, peaceful, attentive with a heart felt capacity to hold life in a space of allowing ♥ I could turn up for my life and be of more service to others and be gentle and forgiving with myself
Would have no peacefulness or motivation
I would be a person who can have a job and work.
I would be an more effective coach
I would be braver
Thank you for the pace and calming voice. It is time for me to open up to possibilities and use the phrase ‘Real but not true’. Very insightful. Thank you
Interesting talk to watch thank you fear is a complicated topic for many of my clients and many of them would argue that they are real and true…..relating fear to the body is also very important for trauma survivors
If I am being honest, probably dead 🙂 But in the sense of how I would show up differently in the world without fear, I’d be more vivacious and free and expressive.
I would be at peace.
Without fear I would be free and unencumbered.
I would be a more present, attuned person.
Able to think more clearly. Happier and calmer
Calmer, at peace.
Your wise presentation was so helpful, for me and for a client who I work with in counseling who feels soooooooo much shame. I love what is going on with nicabm and try to take as many workshops as I can find. They have been so helpful. I love your suggestions of how to help clients process their fear and will be using it on Wednesday. God bless you and thank you for sharing your wisdom.
JoAnn Green from Cleveland
I think I would feel more at ease with myself and others.
I’d be kinder, less judgmental & more compassionate
I would be free, peaceful and in possibility! The truest expression of myself which is whole and complete
I would be braver in trying more new things and stepping out of my comfort zone more often.
I’m very interested in your program. I just started Curable 3 months ago and have made great progress in changing my fear response to pain. And reduced my pain. I know I have a lot more fear based challenges. I know my mindfulness practices is vital and your meditations have helped so much.
As I’m listening and wondering the layers of fear people of color experience daily. My brother in law is a black person, and i asked him what it was like for him to step out of his home.
I believe apart from the fears you addressed, there are added layers that are real
I would be a leader.
I loved the part when you said to face the fear as fear in itself was in my case built from other external values. Once I had faced my fears they became an integral part of my journey and something I could face by saying ” real, but not true”.
I would feel more joy, more confidence, more trust, more stability, more love, more groundedness
I’d be more real, less performance and more trust in being my unique self.
Thank you, Tara, for the gift of your wisdom.
Without the limiting belief of debilitating, untrue fear, I would be radiantly alive!!!
I love the real but not true statement. It’s so concise and so powerful.
I would be open to life and people and to freedom to be in the day trusting in good…in good coming to me no matter what I do and good coming from me to all those I meet.