An overwhelming fear of being abandoned 😥 To be the last child at the school gate looking for my mum but never seeing her and having to watch all of my friends being picked up without me. Seeing the real concern on my teacher’s face when I would be taken back inside the school after I had been left outside waiting for almost an hour 😥 I lost the ability to cry, I was 7 and tears didn’t help me.
Without fear, I shall be a person with senses of freedom, highly motivated to exploring the external world and connecting with people and feel satisfying about myself in daily living.
what a wonder-full question!
i can deeply feel fear and selfdoubt beeing rooted in the little sister seeing her inprisonement in not yet beeing able to run away and
not beeing able to protect against what feels wrong.:
turning round and facing feels good.
thank you tara
A write and story teller! Appreciate these wise words as i find myself doing trauma related work (untrained) with those who cannot access the right support.
One specific fear: social acceptance, or the fear to loose a friend, hurt a relationship.
On one hand it puts me on alert, maybe to be careful, take the needs of other in consideration…..?
On the other hand to be without this fear puts me more at ease showing and protecting my borders…I just had this experience, the hurt was bigger than the fear of loss…the price seems high.
I wouldn’t be as sensitive and noticing triggers that make me feel fear. Without fear, I would not protect myself, even though it does make me want to hide and keep safe, which encourages avoidance.
Fear alerts me to my vulnerabilities, and insecurities, especially not being good enough. Writing that last sentence, made me think that fear encourages me to try harder and work on parts that are vulnerable and scared of rejection and confrontation.
Thank you for this, its helped me to put a present fear into perspective
I would be authentic and not fearful what others think. I would be true to myself & successful in what it is I want to do. I would prioritize myself and my goals and no longer doubt I will achieve them. I would not take other’s responses personally. I would be strong, compassionate and able to help others see & be the strong capable people they are.
if I didn’t think anything was wrong with me, I would let myself be free to sit and be quiet more often at parties not have to talk just because people say there’s something wrong with me being quiet, and at the same time free to laugh more and be silly when I do feel in the mood, basically that I would be more free to express myself naturally.
I hope I can look at my fears, and grow, thanks for your work and your talk.
Thank you, that was very clear and helpfully presented. Very helpful too to see your smile which is very encouraging and helpful accompanying the “facts” of self-doubt and fearful loops. The only part that I stumbled with was the “real but not true”. For me “real” has a very different meaning, it is for me the more reliably real/true of these two words, whereas “true” is or had been corrupted. It’s just the meanings I have assigned to these. For me, I would say “a story not a fact”. Or “a story not real”. Thank you
I think I’d be less exhausted! If I reflect so much of my energy is being utilised to protect myself and to hide from others those parts of me that I think are defective
without healthy fear I’d be reckless and at risk. without toxic fear which is what Tara is helping with I’d be much more alive and in the moment. My body would be at rest when it’s appropriate i.e. most of the time. I’d speak up sometimes in meetings and events and my voice would flow. I wouldn’t overwork to the detriment of my health and so I would be in better shape emotionally and physically. Work would occupy the appropriate amount of time and headspace letting me live as a free person with a birthright to experience the miracle of being alive with the great mother our planet.
Let this be so for all beings 🙏
I’ll be keeping these clearcut keywords in mind in my practice; What are you unwilling to feel?, Real but not true and Who would you be without fear? Also; Who would you be if you didn’t believe something was wrong with you? For clients, and for me as a practitioner. Cultivating curiosity. Thanks for this!
Believing ‘nothing is wrong with me’ would open me up to operate from a place of freedom where I trust my worthiness is not questionable, hence no need to prove it (i.e. when operate from lack, likely to drift into trying to compensate it).
I also feel like fear is constant and I’m hoping to shift this loop. Thank you for your insight into this debilitating state. I find it difficult to stay with the feeling of fear and I like the suggestion to start with small stuff.
Carol H., Nurse, ret. USA. Fear is such a constant it is hard to imagine. Guardedness and isolation have been my norm. If I gave up fear and could love and trust myself, I could be more authentic ( I lie most horribly to myself ), be able to trust others, engage in meaningful pursuits with a lighter heart, be more of the light the world needs.
After a long road of self inquiry and healing. After finding and losing. Becoming a Vipassana Meditator and going deeper and deeper to find more hidden ancestral fear and self doubt. Your work helps me a lot. Thank you
Jessica Stankovich, Nutrition, Seaside, CA, USAsays
Who would I be if I didn’t believe something was wrong with me…?
I have been following Tara for a few years now. Every time I hear this question posed, I am reminded that:
I am good enough.
I am smart enough.
I am competent.
I am not damaged.
I am successful.
I am loved.
I am nurtured and I am nurturing.
I am beautiful.
I am strong.
I am graceful.
I belong.
I am also reminded of what I am not.
I am not:
– weak.
– stupid.
– an imposter.
– incompetent.
– alone.
– ugly.
– unacceptable.
Thank you for the reminder. This question seems to be inexhaustible. Just like when we clean out our junk drawers and under-the-bed spaces more than one time, this question helps me clear the junk from my heart and mind.
Thank you so much, Tara, for these videos. They’re helping me finally emerge from a lifelong trance of fear. I’m beginning to get a glimpse of what it would be like to live without fear – free, spacious and enjoying life.
I am afraid to find out! I feel untethered and lost in space with no sense of direction. It feels strange to acknowledge and admit this about myself.
With love and gratitude for this opportunity to see and hopefully awaken from the trance!
Teresa
Much more compassionate, caring and spontaneous. Being able to develop intimate relationships without fear and constant worry. Being able to select my partners for who they are not for satisfying a bottomless bucket.
My whole life I have been afraid. My
Mother’s repaeated suicide attempts while i was growing up and “responsible “ for preventing her death and for caring for the other “kids” has left me knowing I have impossible responsibilities. Meanwhile my dad told me I would never have a long/term relationship. My husband of 44 years has left and I’m
Finding it so hard to hold on to what others tell me they see –
Strong, capable woman. I feel alone and frightened. I’m
Trying your process, but this feels so deeply rooted.
I love the phrase: who would you be if you didn’t believe something was wrong with you? It reminds me of the magic wand question – if I could wave a magic wand and you would be free from the beliefs that are holding you back, what would your life be like?
An overwhelming fear of being abandoned 😥 To be the last child at the school gate looking for my mum but never seeing her and having to watch all of my friends being picked up without me. Seeing the real concern on my teacher’s face when I would be taken back inside the school after I had been left outside waiting for almost an hour 😥 I lost the ability to cry, I was 7 and tears didn’t help me.
Without fear, I shall be a person with senses of freedom, highly motivated to exploring the external world and connecting with people and feel satisfying about myself in daily living.
what a wonder-full question!
i can deeply feel fear and selfdoubt beeing rooted in the little sister seeing her inprisonement in not yet beeing able to run away and
not beeing able to protect against what feels wrong.:
turning round and facing feels good.
thank you tara
A write and story teller! Appreciate these wise words as i find myself doing trauma related work (untrained) with those who cannot access the right support.
One specific fear: social acceptance, or the fear to loose a friend, hurt a relationship.
On one hand it puts me on alert, maybe to be careful, take the needs of other in consideration…..?
On the other hand to be without this fear puts me more at ease showing and protecting my borders…I just had this experience, the hurt was bigger than the fear of loss…the price seems high.
I do not really know who I would bebut I hope a person without so much fear. Not being so tired because I always need to be prepared to defend myself.
Bold with heart felt love freely expressed
I would have trust in life and in myself
Nice ! Hints of Byron Katie here.
I would do my activities without doubting and be more at ease when people disagree.
I would have a small Lightbrarie, a space for books, objects, conversations, music and practices to uplift and joy.
I wouldn’t be as sensitive and noticing triggers that make me feel fear. Without fear, I would not protect myself, even though it does make me want to hide and keep safe, which encourages avoidance.
Fear alerts me to my vulnerabilities, and insecurities, especially not being good enough. Writing that last sentence, made me think that fear encourages me to try harder and work on parts that are vulnerable and scared of rejection and confrontation.
Thank you for this, its helped me to put a present fear into perspective
I would be authentic and not fearful what others think. I would be true to myself & successful in what it is I want to do. I would prioritize myself and my goals and no longer doubt I will achieve them. I would not take other’s responses personally. I would be strong, compassionate and able to help others see & be the strong capable people they are.
if I didn’t think anything was wrong with me, I would let myself be free to sit and be quiet more often at parties not have to talk just because people say there’s something wrong with me being quiet, and at the same time free to laugh more and be silly when I do feel in the mood, basically that I would be more free to express myself naturally.
I hope I can look at my fears, and grow, thanks for your work and your talk.
Thank you, that was very clear and helpfully presented. Very helpful too to see your smile which is very encouraging and helpful accompanying the “facts” of self-doubt and fearful loops. The only part that I stumbled with was the “real but not true”. For me “real” has a very different meaning, it is for me the more reliably real/true of these two words, whereas “true” is or had been corrupted. It’s just the meanings I have assigned to these. For me, I would say “a story not a fact”. Or “a story not real”. Thank you
I think I’d be less exhausted! If I reflect so much of my energy is being utilised to protect myself and to hide from others those parts of me that I think are defective
I find this piece from Tara so insightful & really helpful to me personally & so relatable both to me & in my practice,
Thank you
Love those wise words.
A truely free spirit, comfort and relax to investigate and accept everyone and everything around me
Ronit
I would be spontaneous and free
without healthy fear I’d be reckless and at risk. without toxic fear which is what Tara is helping with I’d be much more alive and in the moment. My body would be at rest when it’s appropriate i.e. most of the time. I’d speak up sometimes in meetings and events and my voice would flow. I wouldn’t overwork to the detriment of my health and so I would be in better shape emotionally and physically. Work would occupy the appropriate amount of time and headspace letting me live as a free person with a birthright to experience the miracle of being alive with the great mother our planet.
Let this be so for all beings 🙏
Angela Mcgregor,BDA. Counselling Free of all negative emotions which are stemming from fear. Nice thought!
playful
I would be able to venture out into the world,have friends, a better job. I would be free
I’ll be keeping these clearcut keywords in mind in my practice; What are you unwilling to feel?, Real but not true and Who would you be without fear? Also; Who would you be if you didn’t believe something was wrong with you? For clients, and for me as a practitioner. Cultivating curiosity. Thanks for this!
Free and preserved
Believing ‘nothing is wrong with me’ would open me up to operate from a place of freedom where I trust my worthiness is not questionable, hence no need to prove it (i.e. when operate from lack, likely to drift into trying to compensate it).
I also feel like fear is constant and I’m hoping to shift this loop. Thank you for your insight into this debilitating state. I find it difficult to stay with the feeling of fear and I like the suggestion to start with small stuff.
Carol H., Nurse, ret. USA. Fear is such a constant it is hard to imagine. Guardedness and isolation have been my norm. If I gave up fear and could love and trust myself, I could be more authentic ( I lie most horribly to myself ), be able to trust others, engage in meaningful pursuits with a lighter heart, be more of the light the world needs.
After a long road of self inquiry and healing. After finding and losing. Becoming a Vipassana Meditator and going deeper and deeper to find more hidden ancestral fear and self doubt. Your work helps me a lot. Thank you
Who would I be if I didn’t believe something was wrong with me…?
I have been following Tara for a few years now. Every time I hear this question posed, I am reminded that:
I am good enough.
I am smart enough.
I am competent.
I am not damaged.
I am successful.
I am loved.
I am nurtured and I am nurturing.
I am beautiful.
I am strong.
I am graceful.
I belong.
I am also reminded of what I am not.
I am not:
– weak.
– stupid.
– an imposter.
– incompetent.
– alone.
– ugly.
– unacceptable.
Thank you for the reminder. This question seems to be inexhaustible. Just like when we clean out our junk drawers and under-the-bed spaces more than one time, this question helps me clear the junk from my heart and mind.
I would be a calm person.i would seldom be anxious. I would seldom worry. This program gives me hope that I can change.
I’d be stronger and more connected to my current experience. The churning in my stomach would ease.
Thank you so much, Tara, for these videos. They’re helping me finally emerge from a lifelong trance of fear. I’m beginning to get a glimpse of what it would be like to live without fear – free, spacious and enjoying life.
I am afraid to find out! I feel untethered and lost in space with no sense of direction. It feels strange to acknowledge and admit this about myself.
With love and gratitude for this opportunity to see and hopefully awaken from the trance!
Teresa
Much more compassionate, caring and spontaneous. Being able to develop intimate relationships without fear and constant worry. Being able to select my partners for who they are not for satisfying a bottomless bucket.
My whole life I have been afraid. My
Mother’s repaeated suicide attempts while i was growing up and “responsible “ for preventing her death and for caring for the other “kids” has left me knowing I have impossible responsibilities. Meanwhile my dad told me I would never have a long/term relationship. My husband of 44 years has left and I’m
Finding it so hard to hold on to what others tell me they see –
Strong, capable woman. I feel alone and frightened. I’m
Trying your process, but this feels so deeply rooted.
i would be free to be my authentic self.
I would be free.
I can hardly imagine who I would be! I guess I would be more energetic and positive.
I would be supportive of and loving towards myself unconditionally.
It would be a wonderful sense of freedom.
I would be best self, moving through the world with joy and compassion.
I would be bubbly, creative, fun and happy 🙂
I would be a sunshine for others 😉 Give more of my light and my love. Be more in the present and connect to the earth.
I would be brave and kind to myself.
I love the phrase: who would you be if you didn’t believe something was wrong with you? It reminds me of the magic wand question – if I could wave a magic wand and you would be free from the beliefs that are holding you back, what would your life be like?
I would take more risks putting myself out there. I would teach others what I know ie) classes on mindfulness etc.
I’d be lighter. Happier. More aware and compassionate. Take on new experiences and live life more fully
Free and carefree, doing everything I want to do, living as I want, fully embracing life, content alone and with others.
I would be serene without the fear that I have. It would be liberating. I would be self sufficient.
I would be so much more connected to others and to myself
Free and carefree, doing everything I want to do, living as I want, fully embracing life, content alone and with others.