Thank you so much Tara, this was exactly what I needed to hear right now. I’ve been practising self compassion meditations for quite some time now, and know how much allowing the fear of anxiety helps to sooth this painful experience, and yet in this last week self soothing was swamped by old fears.
I’m so grateful to be reminded of how necessary it is to face the fear with loving kindness and embrace the pain with tenderness and love from our own hearts.
About the only that helps me. Is being with another person. But I have very few friends. Almost all have died. I’m 56and they didnt do drugs. Nothing likethat, one tripped over her cat and it paralyzed her she died a month later. Five friends died in one year all younger than me.
I find it helps tremendously to feel the fear in my physical body and to focus on that. To notice the thoughts that are swirling around that intensify the feeling in my body and to not believe the thoughts.
BREATHING! helps prevent mental blocks from problem solving—AND surprisingly helps me be patient as well ;))
Thank you so much for your generousity of sharing your approaches via video! ~Lori
I just watched the first video Facing Fear, fantastic insight into how to support clients through their chronic anxiety feelings, which I find is Fear based. I am a Mental Health Accredited Social Worker, part of my client base is counselling people who are dealing with work place stress. There is so much of it within society today, people dread going to their work place because of FEAR.
As a practitioner I am crying out, reaching out, struggling for ways, methods or a model to help clients face their FEAR issues.
I look forward to watching the next few videos, I would appreciate any help on this crippling concern. kindest regards Mary
It helps me to think, well, I’ll try this scary thing just once, and I don’t have to continue if it’s horrible. And then it turns out to be not so scary after all, and I can go on to the next step.
Having adopted the belief that I have goodness within something that has taken a while to cultivate. And I know now that the bodies response isn’t a medical condition! Thanks Tara you have made such a contribution to my life as a busy Clinical Psychologist in a small rural town in Australia and I have introduced you to many others.
Tara,
Thank you so much. You have been an amazing teacher and inspiration to me. I look forward to your next video and I am so grateful for every piece of wisdom you share.
What helps me, and my clients I believe, is a commitment to non judgment and compassion. Being in the presence of others who who don’t judge us and letting go of our own judgment is incredibly freeing and it opens up the possibility of seeing one self with compassion. Because as you know you love and fear cannot be felt at the same time.
Peace and Love
Lori
Faith in something larger than myself is what helps me. For me this faith is in God.
I visualize myself and my family as being held in the palm of God.
Learning to put a different ( or many different) names to it. When I improve my feeling vocabulary I am less likely to catastrophize, and more apt to put fear in perspective. I like to use the “smoke detector” analogy with clients, where our brain says fire!, when there is no fire.
Firstly acknowledging it and expressing it out loud. Then using self-affirmations of love and mirror work, Breathing into it and talking to it and using affirmations of gratitude – they seem to counter fear.
Thinking about common humanity is a great help. Just imagine how many other persons in this world live with justifiable fear and without essential needs/comforts as we have. Considering this, we might not have a justifiable reason to be in fear. This is an empathic/compassionate view of the world at large that help us to overcome fear, and at the same time take whatever that takes it to take compassionate actions fearlessly to improve world conditions.
Thanks Tara. I found this gentle wise reminder of the need to make space for fear really helpful. When I hear my patients and myself at times respond with judgment and anger to vulnerability all those painful feelings immediately escalate. They take charge. Gently allowing seems so simple yet can be hard to remember when we’re gripped with fear. Thanks for the reminder.
if i find the courage to do so, i sit whith the restlessness of the energy because i know it will pass. So if fear takes over, i sit down and meditate. Observe and breath in and out. Running away from it….and i dó!..makes things worse.
I have no mechanism in place for facing fear. I am at the mercy of my fear. When I realise that fear is causing me to hesitate, I push it aside and carry on, often with regrettable consequences. I look forward to changing this habit.
The next time I experience fear I will ask it what it needs most instead of instantly running from it. My heart starts pounding like I am literally running!
i HAVE BEEN working with my autistic child for five years. I have noticed that if you ask the child how come and why ? the questions let her think about how he got there and trace back to the beginning of it. That’s how his science teacher also showed him so that he can be certain that there has been some proofs under the science. IT GOES quite well and it brings her to the awareness of what the learning is about and no m ore fear of being wrong lingering.
Using RAIN technique from Tara Brach. When I recognize fear in my body, if possible I lie on my back (or sit) with one hand on my belly, the other on my heart, close my eyes and just focus on the bodily sensations of fear. The warmth of my hands on my chest and belly are immediately soothing. I say yes to the feelings, welcome the, and sit with them until they subside. Later I think about where the fear came from-what filters, beliefs, thoughts, experiences, etc. are connected to the fear. It is so amazing, with practice. to realize how a change in perspective dissolves fear (or other strong emotions).
I have spent my lifetime learning to face fear. Ironically, I don’t fear anymore, because at age 66, I have become accepting of death, my own death. I also have come to believe that, ultimately, fear of death is THE most dominant fear most people experience. Your thoughts?
Por algunas razones, es más fácil para mí escribir en español. Entonces, aquí está, realmente estoy en desacuerdo con que provenga de un país subdesarrollado, Puerto Rica, que debo ajustarme a la situación de lo que la economía o la sociedad me imponen. Siempre tomé mi propia decisión en términos de qué alimentos comeré y qué tipo de ayuda con los medicamentos tendré. Tara Brach señaló que aquí no hay temor a pesar de cómo evolucionamos o nos vemos evolucionar.
This will sound strange maybe…
When I wanted to act on stage, or give a speech, I found doing pushups got rid of the physical effects of fear. For the emotional and mental fears, I must ask myself about the worst thing that could happen. Thirdly, I try to trust that experiences are in my best interest, even if I feel fear at first, I will feel better when an experience is finished.
Thank you Tara. My way to face the fear and help my clients to do so is to connect to the things that’s important or valuable with is in the core of the experiencie that we are speaking of. And making some space to the fear in a kind way.
Engaging in the process of recognizing that I am able to be aware of my environment and resources. That I am not my fear and that it is just telling me something. Also, taking time to breath and notice whether the fear I am experiencing is a real or anticipated threat. This allows me to then better decide my next steps.
This reminds me of the poem by Rumi “The Guest House”. For me I would become triggered by shame or fear and either dissociate or become paralyzed with anxiety. No matter what calming technique I tried it didn’t work and this was another source of shame for me. I had an EMDR session and this helped me break through that wall and now I think of the Ruminator poem, and I think of riding a wave of fear/anxiety and getting off on a better shore. I pay more attention in recognizing when I am triggered also so I can become mindful.
Thank you ☺️. I just finished listening to your first video, and it was lovely, clear, and I really appreciated the quick sweep through some of the background Neuroscience.
I think, what I’ve noticed for myself is, as in your story, the act of becoming more aware of my fear, aware of my body, emotion, and subtle shifts, is the first step to being able to pause, attend to it, become mindful about what my next step might be. It opens up a space for choice, which I may not even have known I had previously. I’m not able to always make great choices :), but am getting a bit better :)).
Thank you Tara. Mindfulness living and practices that support this.
Seeing as how large life can seem at times and how small I feel in comparison requiring me to reflect on the times, the circumstances, the situations Life has brought me through already. Find a positive place.
Evaluate the situation, review the options and practice mindfulness as diligently as possible. Use da brain da good Lord gave to me and remember our thoughts are prayers, seeds we are planting in the garden we will soon be eating of, plant love!!
Breathing into it. Sometimes placing my hand on my heart and accepting it as part of my experience; allowing it to be there, difficult as this often is.
Deep breath into my heart. Breath through my Shoulders bring them back and down from around my ears chest up tail out relax jaw and if possible smile or at least think of smiling. Sense my cells rejoicing. Meditation. Thinking of things that went well. Bringing love into my body. Go gently on myself as much as possible in the moments after I’ve stuffed up and notice that I’m moving through the feeling more quickly and easily each time I practice
Thank you, this has given me a sense of calm . . . for the moment. After my mother’s funeral, I have been experiencing great anxiety over core beliefs of never ever being good enough, never learning fast enough, always being behind everyone else; I am exhausted. I never realized shutting down/isolation/depression was a part of flight – how is this not freeze? Freeze, for me, has more shame attached to it as flight or fight is action at least. I look forward to future videos.
Thank you Tara. For me mindfulness and then allowing the fear is the first step in transforming fear. Soften sooth and allowing exercise brings great peace in opening up the space where fear is taking and opens the door to going toward the life and experiences l am called towards.
I take time to become very aware of my breath,I may even count my breaths in and out-a bit like the start of a meditation and I can feel myself becoming more relaxed and I can usually find my fear becoming less anxious and smaller because it has been acknowledged and sort of befriended.
I tried mindfulness and relaxtion tech. and using medication
and my doctor gave an exposure plan for agoraphobia , also
the use of Claire Weeks books and the Dare program but the
fear is still with me. Pauline Linton-paulineml53@hotmail.com
Also some of your meditations.Also support groups like That
Anxiety Guy.
I repeat this version of Meta until I take it in and feel calmer:
May I be safe and free from harm
May my heart be filled with loving kindness
May my body be healthy and strong
May I live with joy and ease.
I also repeat a personal mantra: I am safe in the universe.
I have discovered that if I or one of my clients is able to incorporate significant doses of self-compassion with the experience of fear, it seems to cultivate a greater sense of safety within the body which in turn makes facing the fear a little easier.
Some of the physical (and economic) limitations associated with aging have resulted in my feeling less capable, less resilient than usual…so I am also finding myself especially anxious these days.
I have had a practice for many years (which I learned from Zen teacher Charlotte Joko Beck) in which I, first, notice my upset, then gently identify and label which of my inner conditioned beliefs has been triggered (e.g. I am helpless, I must be liked, I must do the right thing, I must save the world), then move on and identify what is happening in the body (e.g. tightness in chest and throat) and let it be for a minute or so, then expand the body awareness to also notice other physical sensations such as hearing, temperature on skin, heartbeat, sensation of buttocks on chair, etc.) It has helped tremendously over the years in gradually moving beyond the little fearful self to a greater sense of “at-home-ness” and open-heartedness; more trust in intuition.
I am finding your talk to be enriching, inspiring and supportive. Thank you, Tara.
Thank you so much Tara, this was exactly what I needed to hear right now. I’ve been practising self compassion meditations for quite some time now, and know how much allowing the fear of anxiety helps to sooth this painful experience, and yet in this last week self soothing was swamped by old fears.
I’m so grateful to be reminded of how necessary it is to face the fear with loving kindness and embrace the pain with tenderness and love from our own hearts.
With many thanks
Marilyn Adshead
About the only that helps me. Is being with another person. But I have very few friends. Almost all have died. I’m 56and they didnt do drugs. Nothing likethat, one tripped over her cat and it paralyzed her she died a month later. Five friends died in one year all younger than me.
Visualisations and support with releasing the trapped emotions
I find it helps tremendously to feel the fear in my physical body and to focus on that. To notice the thoughts that are swirling around that intensify the feeling in my body and to not believe the thoughts.
BREATHING! helps prevent mental blocks from problem solving—AND surprisingly helps me be patient as well ;))
Thank you so much for your generousity of sharing your approaches via video! ~Lori
Returning to the present and knowing my fear is unfounded on past experiences. Uncurling my toes, unlocking my jaw and softening my belly to breath!
I just watched the first video Facing Fear, fantastic insight into how to support clients through their chronic anxiety feelings, which I find is Fear based. I am a Mental Health Accredited Social Worker, part of my client base is counselling people who are dealing with work place stress. There is so much of it within society today, people dread going to their work place because of FEAR.
As a practitioner I am crying out, reaching out, struggling for ways, methods or a model to help clients face their FEAR issues.
I look forward to watching the next few videos, I would appreciate any help on this crippling concern. kindest regards Mary
It helps me to think, well, I’ll try this scary thing just once, and I don’t have to continue if it’s horrible. And then it turns out to be not so scary after all, and I can go on to the next step.
Deep breathing helps, and positive self talk.
Having adopted the belief that I have goodness within something that has taken a while to cultivate. And I know now that the bodies response isn’t a medical condition! Thanks Tara you have made such a contribution to my life as a busy Clinical Psychologist in a small rural town in Australia and I have introduced you to many others.
Think about something happy, positive. Get your mind off what causes you fear.
Remembering people whom I have felt loved by, even in small ways and imperfectly. Thinking of the many people I love….also imperfectly.
Talk about it, describe it & how afects me. Understand why is there and why is so big. Articulating it in words what is felt in the body. Name it.
Doing something I love that is an accomplishment and improving it, I guess taking a small step to building confidence
Tara,
Thank you so much. You have been an amazing teacher and inspiration to me. I look forward to your next video and I am so grateful for every piece of wisdom you share.
What helps me, and my clients I believe, is a commitment to non judgment and compassion. Being in the presence of others who who don’t judge us and letting go of our own judgment is incredibly freeing and it opens up the possibility of seeing one self with compassion. Because as you know you love and fear cannot be felt at the same time.
Peace and Love
Lori
Faith in something larger than myself is what helps me. For me this faith is in God.
I visualize myself and my family as being held in the palm of God.
Remembering the trauma in a safe and controlled environment.
Learning to put a different ( or many different) names to it. When I improve my feeling vocabulary I am less likely to catastrophize, and more apt to put fear in perspective. I like to use the “smoke detector” analogy with clients, where our brain says fire!, when there is no fire.
Well by just questioning myself
What is it I am scared of? What worse can happen to me?
Firstly acknowledging it and expressing it out loud. Then using self-affirmations of love and mirror work, Breathing into it and talking to it and using affirmations of gratitude – they seem to counter fear.
prayer
Finding a safe place inside or remembering a safe place or time..
“God and fear can’t occupy the same space.” ~ Dick Gregory
I believe that, so, I pray, I chant, I breathe.
Thinking about common humanity is a great help. Just imagine how many other persons in this world live with justifiable fear and without essential needs/comforts as we have. Considering this, we might not have a justifiable reason to be in fear. This is an empathic/compassionate view of the world at large that help us to overcome fear, and at the same time take whatever that takes it to take compassionate actions fearlessly to improve world conditions.
Thanks Tara. I found this gentle wise reminder of the need to make space for fear really helpful. When I hear my patients and myself at times respond with judgment and anger to vulnerability all those painful feelings immediately escalate. They take charge. Gently allowing seems so simple yet can be hard to remember when we’re gripped with fear. Thanks for the reminder.
if i find the courage to do so, i sit whith the restlessness of the energy because i know it will pass. So if fear takes over, i sit down and meditate. Observe and breath in and out. Running away from it….and i dó!..makes things worse.
I have no mechanism in place for facing fear. I am at the mercy of my fear. When I realise that fear is causing me to hesitate, I push it aside and carry on, often with regrettable consequences. I look forward to changing this habit.
The next time I experience fear I will ask it what it needs most instead of instantly running from it. My heart starts pounding like I am literally running!
i HAVE BEEN working with my autistic child for five years. I have noticed that if you ask the child how come and why ? the questions let her think about how he got there and trace back to the beginning of it. That’s how his science teacher also showed him so that he can be certain that there has been some proofs under the science. IT GOES quite well and it brings her to the awareness of what the learning is about and no m ore fear of being wrong lingering.
Using RAIN technique from Tara Brach. When I recognize fear in my body, if possible I lie on my back (or sit) with one hand on my belly, the other on my heart, close my eyes and just focus on the bodily sensations of fear. The warmth of my hands on my chest and belly are immediately soothing. I say yes to the feelings, welcome the, and sit with them until they subside. Later I think about where the fear came from-what filters, beliefs, thoughts, experiences, etc. are connected to the fear. It is so amazing, with practice. to realize how a change in perspective dissolves fear (or other strong emotions).
I have spent my lifetime learning to face fear. Ironically, I don’t fear anymore, because at age 66, I have become accepting of death, my own death. I also have come to believe that, ultimately, fear of death is THE most dominant fear most people experience. Your thoughts?
When my clients come to the realisation that they have everything within themselves to cope. When they realise they CAN do and they CAN handle it.
Por algunas razones, es más fácil para mí escribir en español. Entonces, aquí está, realmente estoy en desacuerdo con que provenga de un país subdesarrollado, Puerto Rica, que debo ajustarme a la situación de lo que la economía o la sociedad me imponen. Siempre tomé mi propia decisión en términos de qué alimentos comeré y qué tipo de ayuda con los medicamentos tendré. Tara Brach señaló que aquí no hay temor a pesar de cómo evolucionamos o nos vemos evolucionar.
This will sound strange maybe…
When I wanted to act on stage, or give a speech, I found doing pushups got rid of the physical effects of fear. For the emotional and mental fears, I must ask myself about the worst thing that could happen. Thirdly, I try to trust that experiences are in my best interest, even if I feel fear at first, I will feel better when an experience is finished.
Thank you Tara. My way to face the fear and help my clients to do so is to connect to the things that’s important or valuable with is in the core of the experiencie that we are speaking of. And making some space to the fear in a kind way.
Engaging in the process of recognizing that I am able to be aware of my environment and resources. That I am not my fear and that it is just telling me something. Also, taking time to breath and notice whether the fear I am experiencing is a real or anticipated threat. This allows me to then better decide my next steps.
This reminds me of the poem by Rumi “The Guest House”. For me I would become triggered by shame or fear and either dissociate or become paralyzed with anxiety. No matter what calming technique I tried it didn’t work and this was another source of shame for me. I had an EMDR session and this helped me break through that wall and now I think of the Ruminator poem, and I think of riding a wave of fear/anxiety and getting off on a better shore. I pay more attention in recognizing when I am triggered also so I can become mindful.
Thank you ☺️. I just finished listening to your first video, and it was lovely, clear, and I really appreciated the quick sweep through some of the background Neuroscience.
I think, what I’ve noticed for myself is, as in your story, the act of becoming more aware of my fear, aware of my body, emotion, and subtle shifts, is the first step to being able to pause, attend to it, become mindful about what my next step might be. It opens up a space for choice, which I may not even have known I had previously. I’m not able to always make great choices :), but am getting a bit better :)).
RAIN
Redirecting my attention to my feelings in my body and letting go of my thoughts.
I find that if I share my fear with someone else, I feel a relaxing of intensity.
Thank you Tara. Mindfulness living and practices that support this.
Seeing as how large life can seem at times and how small I feel in comparison requiring me to reflect on the times, the circumstances, the situations Life has brought me through already. Find a positive place.
Evaluate the situation, review the options and practice mindfulness as diligently as possible. Use da brain da good Lord gave to me and remember our thoughts are prayers, seeds we are planting in the garden we will soon be eating of, plant love!!
Practice gratitude, as diligently as possible 🙂
Breathing into it. Sometimes placing my hand on my heart and accepting it as part of my experience; allowing it to be there, difficult as this often is.
Deep breath into my heart. Breath through my Shoulders bring them back and down from around my ears chest up tail out relax jaw and if possible smile or at least think of smiling. Sense my cells rejoicing. Meditation. Thinking of things that went well. Bringing love into my body. Go gently on myself as much as possible in the moments after I’ve stuffed up and notice that I’m moving through the feeling more quickly and easily each time I practice
Thank you, this has given me a sense of calm . . . for the moment. After my mother’s funeral, I have been experiencing great anxiety over core beliefs of never ever being good enough, never learning fast enough, always being behind everyone else; I am exhausted. I never realized shutting down/isolation/depression was a part of flight – how is this not freeze? Freeze, for me, has more shame attached to it as flight or fight is action at least. I look forward to future videos.
Thank you Tara. For me mindfulness and then allowing the fear is the first step in transforming fear. Soften sooth and allowing exercise brings great peace in opening up the space where fear is taking and opens the door to going toward the life and experiences l am called towards.
I take time to become very aware of my breath,I may even count my breaths in and out-a bit like the start of a meditation and I can feel myself becoming more relaxed and I can usually find my fear becoming less anxious and smaller because it has been acknowledged and sort of befriended.
I tried mindfulness and relaxtion tech. and using medication
and my doctor gave an exposure plan for agoraphobia , also
the use of Claire Weeks books and the Dare program but the
fear is still with me. Pauline Linton-paulineml53@hotmail.com
Also some of your meditations.Also support groups like That
Anxiety Guy.
I repeat this version of Meta until I take it in and feel calmer:
May I be safe and free from harm
May my heart be filled with loving kindness
May my body be healthy and strong
May I live with joy and ease.
I also repeat a personal mantra: I am safe in the universe.
I have discovered that if I or one of my clients is able to incorporate significant doses of self-compassion with the experience of fear, it seems to cultivate a greater sense of safety within the body which in turn makes facing the fear a little easier.
Some of the physical (and economic) limitations associated with aging have resulted in my feeling less capable, less resilient than usual…so I am also finding myself especially anxious these days.
I have had a practice for many years (which I learned from Zen teacher Charlotte Joko Beck) in which I, first, notice my upset, then gently identify and label which of my inner conditioned beliefs has been triggered (e.g. I am helpless, I must be liked, I must do the right thing, I must save the world), then move on and identify what is happening in the body (e.g. tightness in chest and throat) and let it be for a minute or so, then expand the body awareness to also notice other physical sensations such as hearing, temperature on skin, heartbeat, sensation of buttocks on chair, etc.) It has helped tremendously over the years in gradually moving beyond the little fearful self to a greater sense of “at-home-ness” and open-heartedness; more trust in intuition.
I am finding your talk to be enriching, inspiring and supportive. Thank you, Tara.