We need to be Embracing fear when it arises.Do not attach to it or push it away. Breathe, come into the body and accept the feeling. And, over time with practice it will dissipate. If we do not embrace the affliction it will strengthen and come back often.
When I allow myself to sit with it , I go to the breath and stay there as often as is necessary .
With My meditation , it increases my mindfulness in the moments and let’s me move Forward in my journey . ??❤️??
very good and right on! I love the phrase it’s okay for the fear to be here…..clients feel relieved and I do when I am mindful of my fear. Looking forward to the next talk.
Excellent economic sumation of evolutionary psychology and brain science. For me the devil is always in the details. While your example of of the anxious VP was apt-I find it takes a lot more experience with observing our fears to truly grasp the brain’s role in those sleepless nights.
I have been diagnosed with ALS and have lost my ability to speak. I have accepted this reality, but anxiety is still there as I try to mindfully face the future. What thoughts do you have for someone like me?
Yes. I think willingness to acknowledge and feel fear is the path through it to fearlessness. My habitual pattern is ignorance, so my challenge is to notice when I am afraid and shutting down or distracting myself.
Love and kindness towards oneself sems to help me and others as well.
Taoist Inner Smile meditation got me out of a traumatic experience.
I use it a lot in meditation, and can see how my patients start changing.
I am a Therapeutical Qi Gong teacher
Your work is precious, it simply confirms Qi Gong theories.
Thank you.
I remember Pema Chodron say to “approach the things that frighten you” and that has been important for me.
For the past many years I have been volunteering at a hospice
My husband died and now I’m alone. I’m doing really well but I’m scared at nighttime when I go to bed. I just can’t seem to shake the fear of being alone in the dark at night. I don’t know how to overcome it……it’s so silly .
Baby steps are best for me. Tiny achievable bravery. Also, research and preparation, within reason. Sometimes I use preparation as a distraction and never actually take any action! I have to ask myself, with regards to researching things; when is it enough?
I’m so overwhelmed with fear at the moment my brain seems to have shut down. In the past I’d push through and “do it anyway”. Breathing helped to push through but did not calm my tight breathing. At the moment I’m learning and doing lots of EFT and counseling, and the insomnia that has affected me for the past months has not responded positively. I’ve been told my CNS is quite “raw”.
Breathing. And when the oxygen has calmed me sufficiently I will do a body scan to see if I feel up to a bit of tonglen. If yes that will take care of it. Cannot feel fear when the reason for it has been fully explored from inside the experience.
I listen to a guided meditation at the start of my day. It helps to calm me and give me some inside space and to remind me that that each day is a gift and everything that will come to me in the day ahead is either a blessing or a lesson to learn and whatever happens is ultimately for my good.
When I feel fear or my thoughts are fear based statements I center myself, create a felt sense of compassion and remind myself that I am attaching absolute, static truth to an experience that is relative and fluid.
As always, Tara clear and concise guidance makes it so easy to face our deepest fears. I’ve enjoyed your guided meditation before and this is a good reminder of the key principles.
I am working on being Aware of my Thoughts. When I’m hanging on to an Angry or hopeless thought, I ask myself if what I’m thinking is useful.
This isn’t easy, at this time!
I explore the reason. After, breath deeply and close my eyes. Only a minutes after I ask myself if this fear is like before. If the answer is yes, I try again the same and ever reduce my fear.
What helps me face fear is the knowledge, from experience, that I can transform it from something that doesn’t feel good into something that does. That by facing my fear I can reduce my own suffering and increase my peace and serenity. Facing fear is a way of moving closer to my goals. And when I’m not moving towards my goals, I’m moving away from them.
The most useful tool to face fear for me is to take a deep breath and place my trust in a universal power larger than myself. The realization that I am not in control allows me a pause, a space to breath. I can witness the fear rather than try to hold it back. In this pause I am able to act in a more clear headed way.
Thank you so much for your supportive presence.
My greatest ally in facing fear is ‘the witness’…being able to see the irrationality of my fear based thoughts and then immediately moving my awareness into the body sensations. From my understanding when we apply non-judgmental awareness to the sensations in our body we can stop the fear based habit pattern from condensing deeper and even unravel older layers of fear patterning. Equanimous awareness in my body is my super hero. 🙂
Thank-you Tara,
I believe that all of human behaviour is underlined by either love or fear; and that getting really clear about which is the motivation in any given situation is the purpose of mindfulness.
I would even go so far as to say that this is the psychological basis of “good’ and “evil”. Looking forward to the follow-ups
Try to concentrate on my breathing, close my eyes, and start thinking…what do I feel, where do I feel it, and -most important- ask myself can I be with ik. Most of the time it gives me some confidence: I’m fine, I will be able to deal with it.
I have used your technique of RAIN and found welcoming my fears and “inviting them to tea” helps tremendously. In fact, after welcoming and holding the fear, I will find my thoughts are on something else and wonder, “Wait. What about that fear? Don’t I need to work on this more?” No. It mostly needs recognition and acceptance.
What is gripping me now is fear around my Stage IV cancer progressing and facing more and more debilitating treatments. That is proving a tougher challenge and I am grateful for this series.
With gratitude,
Sue
I work with teens who have loads of really deep-seated anxiety as they have been raised in poverty in gang areas and exposed to what seems like relentless violence (domestic, drug addiction). Much of the fear is justified but really holds them back.
One of the things we have been doing with them are loads of body scanning, following the breath plus self-acceptance and compassion (Neff). Mostly they fall asleep during the sessions. I like your suggestion that they breathe into the area where they feel fear and try to release it that way. Thank you for this video, it is very useful.
Imagining things working out.
The book, fears, anxiety, & phobias became my bible for facing fear. It’s basically CBT training & a workbook for facing fears.
Brain injurie , I’m a good size guy , 6 ft. 220 lbs. looked after myself and family in construction. Now I have some troubles. I want to get some of my confidence back
Having the loving care and support of friends or a therapist has been very helpful in facing fears. I also find breathing deeply and connecting with the body , coming into the present moment, also very helpful. Things don’t usually seem as fearful in the present moment, the suffering increases when I get trapped in the past or worrying about the future.
There is a Thich Nhat Hahn meditation which says, of a difficult emotion, let’s say fear, you are part of me , but not all of me. While in meditation you first center yourself, then look at the fear inside you, caress it gently, reassuring it that it is safe, then put it back saying I am here for you. There is a deeper meditation of Thich Nhat Hanh’s in which you look at how we water the seeds of fear. Taking responsibility for our part in maintaining and feeding fear is the start of having a healthy relationship with fear.
I am still working on it. Thank you so much Tara. You have been a little godsend.
I love this format! My fear comes in the form of a tightness in my chest, and sometimes butterflies in my stomach. I had a severe anxiety attack years ago while driving, and now whenever I drive anywhere it is always in the back of my mind that it could happen again. I’ve learned to “feel the fear, and do it anyway”. There have been times when I’ve turned back, or not gone somewhere because of the anxiety, but for the most part, I’m able to get through it. Every time I tell myself that it is just a part of me, and not life-threatening. When I am able to go shopping or drive on the freeway, it strengthens my belief that I will be OK. I have also had to call someone when it got really bad. Just talking to a friend, or my husband, helps me to not feel alone.
It seems to me that acceptance of the feelings is the first step in releasing resistance and tension. I have an extreme fear of public speaking, and am learning to just let myself feel the tension in my muscles just be there and be curious as to how that is expressing through my body. I usually do well when I speak but it is the anticipatory anxiety which is crippling. Knowing that this is the body’s natural response to a perceived threat and is a natural response is very freeing.
I’m not always aware of the fear, I push it down. When I listen to my body then I can make a decision on how to proceed. Anxiety has actually become my friend. It helps me determine when I need to say no.
Ah, I loved your advice, Tara Brach! For me, when I was faced with unexplained symptoms, aches and pains, weight loss, and anxiety during most of 2018, I decided to “go the distance” anyways. I put the expression on my bathroom mirror as a daily reminder. I also used the compassion exercise that comes from Harry Palmer and this helped me join a larger sangha- all of humanity. I had a book near me with M. Chia’s inner smile to our organs which immediately shifted my self-pity, unexplained fears, and life’s uncertainties and minorities into breaths and viewpoints of appreciarion, relief, joy, and a calmer self.
Contrary action helps me face my fear.
I’ve learned that my thoughts aren’t always helpful . My mind is like an abused street dog that needs to be shown love and guidance.
I’m a huge fan of dharmaseed talks!
And I’ve been working the 12 steps in alanon for 12 years.
I come from a family riddled with fear.
I’ve had to go at it alone mostly , so looking back through the lense of recovery I can see all the times I’ve face fear ,( so many!) and come out stronger , calmer, and with a sense of belonging.
I tend to just dive into fear .
Thanks for this!!
Brenna W
How do I share this to my email? I like the evolutionary/scientific framework that you used to develop the presentation. This helps normalize anxiety and strips some of the shame that my clients and students express about what they perceive as weakness or a character trait.
I am a retired RN of 21 years. Recently diagnosed with bipolar 1 at the age of 60. I am just beginning to realize as the illness has progressed rapidly in the last 4 years, along with my physical health. Now I’m trying to reenter my new world with a realization I have become crippled with anxiety and fear.
Being able to identify the fear is the first step. I often don’t realize that my reaction; wether it is fight, flight or freeze is out of fear. Many times with a pattern repeating itself I feel despair. Listening to what you just described here, helped me realize that the root of all of it, is fear. I guess that’s a start. Now I have the option of sitting with this fear, becoming familiar with it and getting intimate with it. Only then I may have a chance to recognize it as it arises in my daily life and allow it to pass through me, rather than letting it dictate a reaction to then leave me with despair again and again. It’s a lifetime work. Awareness is the key, but it doesn’t come easy.
Being able to identify the fear is the first step. I often don’t realize that my reaction; wether it is fight, flight or freeze is out of fear. Many times with a pattern repeating itself I feel despair. Listening to what you just described here, helped me realize that the root of all of it, is fear. I guess that’s a start. Now I have the option of sitting with this fear, becoming familiar with it and get intimate with it. Only then I may have a chance to recognize it as it arises in my daily life and allow it to pass through me, rather than letting it dictate a reaction to then leave me with despair again and again. It’s a lifetime work. Awareness is the key, but it doesn’t come easy.
We need to be Embracing fear when it arises.Do not attach to it or push it away. Breathe, come into the body and accept the feeling. And, over time with practice it will dissipate. If we do not embrace the affliction it will strengthen and come back often.
When I allow myself to sit with it , I go to the breath and stay there as often as is necessary .
With My meditation , it increases my mindfulness in the moments and let’s me move Forward in my journey . ??❤️??
very good and right on! I love the phrase it’s okay for the fear to be here…..clients feel relieved and I do when I am mindful of my fear. Looking forward to the next talk.
Excellent economic sumation of evolutionary psychology and brain science. For me the devil is always in the details. While your example of of the anxious VP was apt-I find it takes a lot more experience with observing our fears to truly grasp the brain’s role in those sleepless nights.
Thanks for sharing
I have been diagnosed with ALS and have lost my ability to speak. I have accepted this reality, but anxiety is still there as I try to mindfully face the future. What thoughts do you have for someone like me?
Yes. I think willingness to acknowledge and feel fear is the path through it to fearlessness. My habitual pattern is ignorance, so my challenge is to notice when I am afraid and shutting down or distracting myself.
Love and kindness towards oneself sems to help me and others as well.
Taoist Inner Smile meditation got me out of a traumatic experience.
I use it a lot in meditation, and can see how my patients start changing.
I am a Therapeutical Qi Gong teacher
Your work is precious, it simply confirms Qi Gong theories.
Thank you.
I remember Pema Chodron say to “approach the things that frighten you” and that has been important for me.
For the past many years I have been volunteering at a hospice
My husband died and now I’m alone. I’m doing really well but I’m scared at nighttime when I go to bed. I just can’t seem to shake the fear of being alone in the dark at night. I don’t know how to overcome it……it’s so silly .
Baby steps are best for me. Tiny achievable bravery. Also, research and preparation, within reason. Sometimes I use preparation as a distraction and never actually take any action! I have to ask myself, with regards to researching things; when is it enough?
I’m so overwhelmed with fear at the moment my brain seems to have shut down. In the past I’d push through and “do it anyway”. Breathing helped to push through but did not calm my tight breathing. At the moment I’m learning and doing lots of EFT and counseling, and the insomnia that has affected me for the past months has not responded positively. I’ve been told my CNS is quite “raw”.
Breathing. And when the oxygen has calmed me sufficiently I will do a body scan to see if I feel up to a bit of tonglen. If yes that will take care of it. Cannot feel fear when the reason for it has been fully explored from inside the experience.
Knowing that i’m loved, apreceated. Step back and analyse the situation, what is realy happening.
I listen to a guided meditation at the start of my day. It helps to calm me and give me some inside space and to remind me that that each day is a gift and everything that will come to me in the day ahead is either a blessing or a lesson to learn and whatever happens is ultimately for my good.
I can face fear knowing that I am loved by God and that I am not alone ?
Prayer, and being encouraged by others 🙂
When I feel fear or my thoughts are fear based statements I center myself, create a felt sense of compassion and remind myself that I am attaching absolute, static truth to an experience that is relative and fluid.
As always, Tara clear and concise guidance makes it so easy to face our deepest fears. I’ve enjoyed your guided meditation before and this is a good reminder of the key principles.
Three deep breaths then go towards it ?
Listen music, pray, meditation, going for a walk, call a friend, change my thought, nature.
Trusting that the feeling is temporary & it will pass
Working with small pieces at a time
I am working on being Aware of my Thoughts. When I’m hanging on to an Angry or hopeless thought, I ask myself if what I’m thinking is useful.
This isn’t easy, at this time!
I explore the reason. After, breath deeply and close my eyes. Only a minutes after I ask myself if this fear is like before. If the answer is yes, I try again the same and ever reduce my fear.
What helps me face fear is the knowledge, from experience, that I can transform it from something that doesn’t feel good into something that does. That by facing my fear I can reduce my own suffering and increase my peace and serenity. Facing fear is a way of moving closer to my goals. And when I’m not moving towards my goals, I’m moving away from them.
The most useful tool to face fear for me is to take a deep breath and place my trust in a universal power larger than myself. The realization that I am not in control allows me a pause, a space to breath. I can witness the fear rather than try to hold it back. In this pause I am able to act in a more clear headed way.
Thank you so much for your supportive presence.
My greatest ally in facing fear is ‘the witness’…being able to see the irrationality of my fear based thoughts and then immediately moving my awareness into the body sensations. From my understanding when we apply non-judgmental awareness to the sensations in our body we can stop the fear based habit pattern from condensing deeper and even unravel older layers of fear patterning. Equanimous awareness in my body is my super hero. 🙂
Thank-you Tara,
I believe that all of human behaviour is underlined by either love or fear; and that getting really clear about which is the motivation in any given situation is the purpose of mindfulness.
I would even go so far as to say that this is the psychological basis of “good’ and “evil”. Looking forward to the follow-ups
Try to concentrate on my breathing, close my eyes, and start thinking…what do I feel, where do I feel it, and -most important- ask myself can I be with ik. Most of the time it gives me some confidence: I’m fine, I will be able to deal with it.
I have used your technique of RAIN and found welcoming my fears and “inviting them to tea” helps tremendously. In fact, after welcoming and holding the fear, I will find my thoughts are on something else and wonder, “Wait. What about that fear? Don’t I need to work on this more?” No. It mostly needs recognition and acceptance.
What is gripping me now is fear around my Stage IV cancer progressing and facing more and more debilitating treatments. That is proving a tougher challenge and I am grateful for this series.
With gratitude,
Sue
I work with teens who have loads of really deep-seated anxiety as they have been raised in poverty in gang areas and exposed to what seems like relentless violence (domestic, drug addiction). Much of the fear is justified but really holds them back.
One of the things we have been doing with them are loads of body scanning, following the breath plus self-acceptance and compassion (Neff). Mostly they fall asleep during the sessions. I like your suggestion that they breathe into the area where they feel fear and try to release it that way. Thank you for this video, it is very useful.
Normalizing the feeling of fear and the reaction to it.
Imagining things working out.
The book, fears, anxiety, & phobias became my bible for facing fear. It’s basically CBT training & a workbook for facing fears.
Having encouragement and support from friends and people who I trust… who I know are standing with me…
Brain injurie , I’m a good size guy , 6 ft. 220 lbs. looked after myself and family in construction. Now I have some troubles. I want to get some of my confidence back
Having the loving care and support of friends or a therapist has been very helpful in facing fears. I also find breathing deeply and connecting with the body , coming into the present moment, also very helpful. Things don’t usually seem as fearful in the present moment, the suffering increases when I get trapped in the past or worrying about the future.
There is a Thich Nhat Hahn meditation which says, of a difficult emotion, let’s say fear, you are part of me , but not all of me. While in meditation you first center yourself, then look at the fear inside you, caress it gently, reassuring it that it is safe, then put it back saying I am here for you. There is a deeper meditation of Thich Nhat Hanh’s in which you look at how we water the seeds of fear. Taking responsibility for our part in maintaining and feeding fear is the start of having a healthy relationship with fear.
I am still working on it. Thank you so much Tara. You have been a little godsend.
I love this format! My fear comes in the form of a tightness in my chest, and sometimes butterflies in my stomach. I had a severe anxiety attack years ago while driving, and now whenever I drive anywhere it is always in the back of my mind that it could happen again. I’ve learned to “feel the fear, and do it anyway”. There have been times when I’ve turned back, or not gone somewhere because of the anxiety, but for the most part, I’m able to get through it. Every time I tell myself that it is just a part of me, and not life-threatening. When I am able to go shopping or drive on the freeway, it strengthens my belief that I will be OK. I have also had to call someone when it got really bad. Just talking to a friend, or my husband, helps me to not feel alone.
awareness of my fear, where it is in my body and visualizing it as my wounder child
Embracing Fear as an opportunity to develop a deeper relationship with oneself.
It seems to me that acceptance of the feelings is the first step in releasing resistance and tension. I have an extreme fear of public speaking, and am learning to just let myself feel the tension in my muscles just be there and be curious as to how that is expressing through my body. I usually do well when I speak but it is the anticipatory anxiety which is crippling. Knowing that this is the body’s natural response to a perceived threat and is a natural response is very freeing.
Taking a deep breath, acceptance, bilateral integration
I’m not always aware of the fear, I push it down. When I listen to my body then I can make a decision on how to proceed. Anxiety has actually become my friend. It helps me determine when I need to say no.
Ah, I loved your advice, Tara Brach! For me, when I was faced with unexplained symptoms, aches and pains, weight loss, and anxiety during most of 2018, I decided to “go the distance” anyways. I put the expression on my bathroom mirror as a daily reminder. I also used the compassion exercise that comes from Harry Palmer and this helped me join a larger sangha- all of humanity. I had a book near me with M. Chia’s inner smile to our organs which immediately shifted my self-pity, unexplained fears, and life’s uncertainties and minorities into breaths and viewpoints of appreciarion, relief, joy, and a calmer self.
Faith helps me face fear. However the fear is taking away my faith. I would love to be fear free. I can’t seem to lose the fear.
Contrary action helps me face my fear.
I’ve learned that my thoughts aren’t always helpful . My mind is like an abused street dog that needs to be shown love and guidance.
I’m a huge fan of dharmaseed talks!
And I’ve been working the 12 steps in alanon for 12 years.
I come from a family riddled with fear.
I’ve had to go at it alone mostly , so looking back through the lense of recovery I can see all the times I’ve face fear ,( so many!) and come out stronger , calmer, and with a sense of belonging.
I tend to just dive into fear .
Thanks for this!!
Brenna W
How do I share this to my email? I like the evolutionary/scientific framework that you used to develop the presentation. This helps normalize anxiety and strips some of the shame that my clients and students express about what they perceive as weakness or a character trait.
I am a retired RN of 21 years. Recently diagnosed with bipolar 1 at the age of 60. I am just beginning to realize as the illness has progressed rapidly in the last 4 years, along with my physical health. Now I’m trying to reenter my new world with a realization I have become crippled with anxiety and fear.
Being able to identify the fear is the first step. I often don’t realize that my reaction; wether it is fight, flight or freeze is out of fear. Many times with a pattern repeating itself I feel despair. Listening to what you just described here, helped me realize that the root of all of it, is fear. I guess that’s a start. Now I have the option of sitting with this fear, becoming familiar with it and getting intimate with it. Only then I may have a chance to recognize it as it arises in my daily life and allow it to pass through me, rather than letting it dictate a reaction to then leave me with despair again and again. It’s a lifetime work. Awareness is the key, but it doesn’t come easy.
Being able to identify the fear is the first step. I often don’t realize that my reaction; wether it is fight, flight or freeze is out of fear. Many times with a pattern repeating itself I feel despair. Listening to what you just described here, helped me realize that the root of all of it, is fear. I guess that’s a start. Now I have the option of sitting with this fear, becoming familiar with it and get intimate with it. Only then I may have a chance to recognize it as it arises in my daily life and allow it to pass through me, rather than letting it dictate a reaction to then leave me with despair again and again. It’s a lifetime work. Awareness is the key, but it doesn’t come easy.