A daily, meditation practice has been so helpful for me to become aware of my own fear, when it comes up, to recognize and regulate the sensations and stories around it when they come up. And this is helpful to recognize and to help regulate it in people I work with.
Two things that have started working for me are somatic experiencing so I can start to feel the fear in my body and give it space and rewiring a fearful avoidant attachment pattern, wherein there are habit-loops that are addictive but maladaptive ways to process fear. Learning other ways to attach opens up a whole new relationship with fear, where I can be with it.
Thank you Tara, this was very helpful. Three conscious breaths helps bring me back to the present moment where the fear does not dwell. The fear almost invariably comes from the mind and then lodges in the body. Mindful breathing helps me to work through it.
Because I feel fear most of the time I’ve learned to work with it although for years it manifested as risk taking. I regularly step out of what’s called the comfort zone because I’ve traditional not had one.
Meditation helps me, but in spite of knowing that, I still find it hard to make the time to sit. I practice regularly for a few weeks, and then I miss a day and that turns into a few days and before I know it I have stopped altogether.
I try to sit with whatever it is that I’m afraid of. If it’s facing something I need to do, also try to break it down into small manageable steps so that I can move forward without feeling overwhelmed. I’ve also been focusing on being a support for myself, something I’ve only been learning to do recently.
Writing down what my thoughts are—what am I believing. Examining whether these thoughts are true.
Allowing how the fear is manifesting in my body/mind and noticing it with kindness.
To face fear; I walk through the feeling. I take note of my discomfort and then I tell myself that I’m OK and that I have nothing to fear. Fear can be so irrational; however, I have to remind myself that if I want a positive outcome then I must stop the negative thinking immediately.
Thank you for your insight. ?
Sometimes Knowledge of what is feared
Sometimes practicing facing the fear with breathing & relaxation techniques
Sometimes practicing meditation
And sometimes the use of all three above
I am a client who somehow found this site a few years ago and I am so grateful.
“The body never lies,” my therapist said, and it’s true! When I “feel” anxiety – I first feel it in my body. Sometimes it’s even a pain just to distract me and make me forget what I was just thinking about, especially about personal issues.
She says that anxiety is a gift, because it contains important, immediately accessible information. So I am practicing allowing and listening!
So, present moment awareness of myself by feeling a sensation in my body, or taking a deliberate breath, then staying in that space while I silently ask for guidance.
Continuing therapy is vital. My counselor is like a truth-mirror! Having that support, and not pretending “I’m all set now,” is vital!
For me, being aware of how I feel, especially of fear, is the first step. I acknowledging how I feel and how the fear is impacting me. Then, I begin to calm my mind by praying and meditating on scripture. I release the fear through prayful surrender to my God, my Higher Power. Then, I can focus on what I need to focus upon.
When facing fear, it helps me to realize that I’m not the only one with that fear. Also knowing, that my past fear can not hurt me now, keeps me from freezing or checking-out (going out of my body, when I’m not aware of things in the moment.)
Understanding & support are what help me to identify and help to rectify my fear.
Thank you Tara for sharing this “free”ly, one day I will be able to afford your workshops in person, but until then you immensely help me.
Namaste.
Stay real, stay true, stay you?❤️? ❣️
It´s been helpful when we understand that the opposite of fear is love and peace, we approach to fear in other way. Whit love and kindness. Thank to you for cheering. Hugs from Argentina
My fear is usually assuaged by the recognition that I am not in control, that I can
live with uncertainty, and that in this very moment I can choose to be free.
Tara you are an amazing lady you explain so much in ways that make sense. THANKYOU!
Having been disabled from work for my years I find my confidence in life has sapped away and this causes more and more fear!
Mindfulness does help to an extent but that fear still grows .
I understand what you are saying and suggesting, but I question. When a person is being blacklisted in the small town where he lives, abused by bullies, what then? Is it possible to thrive despite this very real everyday abuse? Thank you.
When I face fear, I start getting that tight pressure on my chest. My mind is trying to send me in to a full blown panic attack. Rather than just take a xanax I have begun breathing deeply into that tightness of my chest. I have been able to stave off many panic attacks with that. I just forge forward knowing I will be ok afterward. I can’t say it works 100% of the time, but mostly it does. The only thing with my panic attacks is that I don’t always know where they are coming from(?) I am not even thinking of anything fearful(?) In the face of general fears such as moving to a new place, making a new set of friends, I have been able to face those fears with a positive attitude. I say to myself, “well let’s try this, be open, see how it goes. I am not going to die if it doesn’t work, and I just forge ahead. So, in my experience that has worked very well for me. It takes awareness, and acceptance. and so far I have been mostly blessed! Thank you Tara. Always enjoy your talks! Namaste.
Prayer, RAIN, breathing, joy, remembering that I have overcome past fears, being determined to heal from the most difficult abusive past and gently holding the younger memories that need to be held, feeling the feelings without shame, fear, guilt, regret, with freedom. Water, good food, rest, listening to your meditations before I go to sleep, listening to calm music as I sleep. Enjoying a sunny day, nature, poetry, calm friends, and generally listening to myself and writing poetry and reading helpful books and scripture. My PTSD is a daily mentor.
Thank You Tara, Years ago I was Diagnosed with Chronic Anxiety, Medicated, &, self medicated for some time, Until I found a Recovery Program(12step), not on my own ! With That in Hand And also finding a “Path to Meditation,and at 1st. more importantly an Explanation, &, Mentor for Mindfulness, thus a Growing Practice of Mindful Meditation,(listening to many of your talks), Still today I can get Turned Around By Fear, Worry, Regret, So I’ve turned to an almost Daily Practice, the close I stay the better off I am !
Walking. Even a short walk causes me to remember that I am not trapped, as I might feel. For a long time while I was very sick, I was unable to walk without assistance and pain, and now that I can again, it also reminds me that I am not where I was, I can keep moving forward!
I think getting to know ourselves, relating to the suppressed parts of ourselves, is essential for all healing. And making friends with those aspects that had felt threatening, realising where these parts come from and why they have been important. Then letting them integrate.
Prayer.. talking with God helps me face my fears. Also, talking out my fear with a friend who is neutral on the issue, walking, journaling, practicing gratitude and filling my mind with Scripture. Philippians 4:4-9. Thanking God for whatever is present is sometimes difficult, but helpful, and focusing thoughts on whatever is true, Noble, right, good, lovely, excellent or praiseworthy. Asking God what is underneath this fear or anxiety..is there a issue/ trauma that has not been addressed? Praying through that with someone I trust.
Hello;
I find that your RAIN meditation is very, very helpful to do when I recognize I’m in fear. It is a gift for me and allows me to self-soothe while really feeling the emotion in my body.
I have also done EMDR over past trauma and that too has been helpful.
Thank you for this!
I’ve always thought that I needed to make my fear go away – which I never felt I could do…it was so powerful. This idea of making room for fear is one I will explore.
My immediate first problem is that while I have realized that this has been going on with me my whole life, I react instantly to a perceived threat and am often in trouble before I realize what is happening, if I do.
“Instead of imagining disaster, why not imagine bliss?” None of us know the future. I might spend hours and days of my life worrying and worrying over something that never comes to pass. So when negative scenarios go through my head, I try to notice and simply change them to images of positive outcomes.
If I can identify I am in fear…I have three lines of awakening I offer myself as support. I break it down into FEAR. F=False E=Evidence A=Appearing R=Real. Investigate the evidence. If it is only in my head and heart, perhaps it is not true. Real in a sense but not true. Second stage… F= Face E=Everything A=And R=Respond. This connects to the moment…the here and now. And lastly…(which can be taking tongue and cheek or seriously) F= Fuck E=Everything A= And R= Run!!! I am working on learning how to support myself when i am in fear.
I showed the video on fear to my daughter who suffers from PTSD, anxiety and chronic pain, with whom I have done a little mindfulness of breathing and body work. She found the video very good as it helped her understand how the brain gets wired into habitual thinking. It helped her acknowledged that she is not alone with her fears and worries.
I have cultivated a “safe place” during my EMDR therapy along with protectors who stand with me to explore and stay with my fears. I know intellectually that this will not kill me and eventually I come to a bit more clarity on the origin of the fear and it will eventually dissipate like everything else in life. I have a reassurance mantra “This is not permanent; this will change”. I can take my frightened child to our safe place whenever the trigger feeling, person or circumstance becomes overwhelming. Using sensory anchors such as the feeling of the air on my skin also helps, as my breath gets very ragged and intermittent when I am fearful. I turn to my protectors, such as my meditation instructor or Pema Chodron for reassurance using their wisdom as my own to talk/think myself through the episode.
I am letting fear rule my life, but for the past 30 years approximately I have been dealing with what I feel to be an extension of my Epilepsy with slights to
Paranoia. It has been spotty that I go out, what makes me go out for a walk or coffee is I either running low on things in the apartment or I’m extremely bored
And tired of my surroundings.
I find that when I become fearful , I have learnt to acknowledge how I feel and where I feel it in my body , allowing the emotions to be . Only after doing this am I able to move on . Self compassion unconditional loving kindness is so important for me at this time . It is remembering this and being mindful using the tools to help me at the time that really matters.
Fear … When I’m in faith, gratitude, and very present and in the moment, I keep fear and worry at bay. Daily, I pull myself into the now, reminding myself that worry won’t change the outcome, as there are so many unknown variables over which I have no control, that can affect the outcome. I pray, breathe deeply, express gratitude for what is, and step into faith, while focussing on what and how I can give/contribute in my life, my work and in being strong and compassionate in caring for my mom, who, because she has a habit of worrying, ironically, reminds me daily of its futility ? while keeping my heart centred on love ❤
Gratitude helps me face my fears….I am sober 17 years and I know all my fears are based on expectations. I have been through the worst part of my life and every day is a gift. I know if I can get back to a regular practice I can alleviate the stress of fear and how it affects my daily life and relationships. People still tell me I am a light in their life but I don’t always feel it the way I did when I had a strong yoga & meditation practice but I know it’s possible to feel that freedom from fear once again.
I’ve also been caring for my 83 year old mother with alzheimer’s and I think watching her progression has a great deal to do with the feeling of my fears being more intense. I think about her future as well as my own.
I am grateful for this video.
It has meaning for me.
What help me face fear?(I think that was the question).
After many years of a large variety of therapies…
I experience some level of fear daily 24/7.
It manifests differently each time.
These are some of my menu of coping mechanisms:
1) naming what I am feeling as fear
2) asking myself what would be helpful in the moment
3) sitting meditation
4) listening to a guided meditation on Insight Timer
5) Listening to sound meditations (water,
chantal sound)
6) walking in a wooded park
7) walking at the ocean
8) gym workout
9) talk with a friend
10) polyvagal/osteopathic therapy
11) mindless busyness /distraction
Thank you for asking
For me to face fear needs me to create a space of silence or creativity where I am within and able to experience my true core. Then I can be in the present. This stops the flowing out into the future which is what is focused on within all my anxieties. In the present I can be and experience the fullness and all that I am .
Neuro feedback. Work has become political and stressful. Now when I feel overwhelmed I put on my headphones and listen to binaural beats. I focus on a tone that helps me not focus on the fear I am feeling.
Can I watch the first part,is there any link?
A daily, meditation practice has been so helpful for me to become aware of my own fear, when it comes up, to recognize and regulate the sensations and stories around it when they come up. And this is helpful to recognize and to help regulate it in people I work with.
I would like to be studied
Two things that have started working for me are somatic experiencing so I can start to feel the fear in my body and give it space and rewiring a fearful avoidant attachment pattern, wherein there are habit-loops that are addictive but maladaptive ways to process fear. Learning other ways to attach opens up a whole new relationship with fear, where I can be with it.
Thank you Tara, this was very helpful. Three conscious breaths helps bring me back to the present moment where the fear does not dwell. The fear almost invariably comes from the mind and then lodges in the body. Mindful breathing helps me to work through it.
Because I feel fear most of the time I’ve learned to work with it although for years it manifested as risk taking. I regularly step out of what’s called the comfort zone because I’ve traditional not had one.
Meditation helps me, but in spite of knowing that, I still find it hard to make the time to sit. I practice regularly for a few weeks, and then I miss a day and that turns into a few days and before I know it I have stopped altogether.
Please address how to work with children who have suffered abuse and who do not wish to confront their abusers or the memories of their abuse.
I try to sit with whatever it is that I’m afraid of. If it’s facing something I need to do, also try to break it down into small manageable steps so that I can move forward without feeling overwhelmed. I’ve also been focusing on being a support for myself, something I’ve only been learning to do recently.
Writing down what my thoughts are—what am I believing. Examining whether these thoughts are true.
Allowing how the fear is manifesting in my body/mind and noticing it with kindness.
I help my clients understand where fear comes from and that it is a normal human condition to have fear or be fearful.
To face fear; I walk through the feeling. I take note of my discomfort and then I tell myself that I’m OK and that I have nothing to fear. Fear can be so irrational; however, I have to remind myself that if I want a positive outcome then I must stop the negative thinking immediately.
Thank you for your insight. ?
Sometimes Knowledge of what is feared
Sometimes practicing facing the fear with breathing & relaxation techniques
Sometimes practicing meditation
And sometimes the use of all three above
Deep breaths and over preparing/ rehearsing for situation.
I am a client who somehow found this site a few years ago and I am so grateful.
“The body never lies,” my therapist said, and it’s true! When I “feel” anxiety – I first feel it in my body. Sometimes it’s even a pain just to distract me and make me forget what I was just thinking about, especially about personal issues.
She says that anxiety is a gift, because it contains important, immediately accessible information. So I am practicing allowing and listening!
So, present moment awareness of myself by feeling a sensation in my body, or taking a deliberate breath, then staying in that space while I silently ask for guidance.
Continuing therapy is vital. My counselor is like a truth-mirror! Having that support, and not pretending “I’m all set now,” is vital!
For me, being aware of how I feel, especially of fear, is the first step. I acknowledging how I feel and how the fear is impacting me. Then, I begin to calm my mind by praying and meditating on scripture. I release the fear through prayful surrender to my God, my Higher Power. Then, I can focus on what I need to focus upon.
When facing fear, it helps me to realize that I’m not the only one with that fear. Also knowing, that my past fear can not hurt me now, keeps me from freezing or checking-out (going out of my body, when I’m not aware of things in the moment.)
Understanding & support are what help me to identify and help to rectify my fear.
Thank you Tara for sharing this “free”ly, one day I will be able to afford your workshops in person, but until then you immensely help me.
Namaste.
Stay real, stay true, stay you?❤️? ❣️
It´s been helpful when we understand that the opposite of fear is love and peace, we approach to fear in other way. Whit love and kindness. Thank to you for cheering. Hugs from Argentina
My fear is usually assuaged by the recognition that I am not in control, that I can
live with uncertainty, and that in this very moment I can choose to be free.
Tara you are an amazing lady you explain so much in ways that make sense. THANKYOU!
Having been disabled from work for my years I find my confidence in life has sapped away and this causes more and more fear!
Mindfulness does help to an extent but that fear still grows .
I understand what you are saying and suggesting, but I question. When a person is being blacklisted in the small town where he lives, abused by bullies, what then? Is it possible to thrive despite this very real everyday abuse? Thank you.
Calming, nurturing and supporting my fearful inner child. Giving her whatever she needs in the moment to help her feel loved and heard
Calming, nurturing and supporting my fearful inner child. Giving her whatever she needs in the moment to help her feel loved and heard
When I face fear, I start getting that tight pressure on my chest. My mind is trying to send me in to a full blown panic attack. Rather than just take a xanax I have begun breathing deeply into that tightness of my chest. I have been able to stave off many panic attacks with that. I just forge forward knowing I will be ok afterward. I can’t say it works 100% of the time, but mostly it does. The only thing with my panic attacks is that I don’t always know where they are coming from(?) I am not even thinking of anything fearful(?) In the face of general fears such as moving to a new place, making a new set of friends, I have been able to face those fears with a positive attitude. I say to myself, “well let’s try this, be open, see how it goes. I am not going to die if it doesn’t work, and I just forge ahead. So, in my experience that has worked very well for me. It takes awareness, and acceptance. and so far I have been mostly blessed! Thank you Tara. Always enjoy your talks! Namaste.
Prayer, RAIN, breathing, joy, remembering that I have overcome past fears, being determined to heal from the most difficult abusive past and gently holding the younger memories that need to be held, feeling the feelings without shame, fear, guilt, regret, with freedom. Water, good food, rest, listening to your meditations before I go to sleep, listening to calm music as I sleep. Enjoying a sunny day, nature, poetry, calm friends, and generally listening to myself and writing poetry and reading helpful books and scripture. My PTSD is a daily mentor.
Thank You Tara, Years ago I was Diagnosed with Chronic Anxiety, Medicated, &, self medicated for some time, Until I found a Recovery Program(12step), not on my own ! With That in Hand And also finding a “Path to Meditation,and at 1st. more importantly an Explanation, &, Mentor for Mindfulness, thus a Growing Practice of Mindful Meditation,(listening to many of your talks), Still today I can get Turned Around By Fear, Worry, Regret, So I’ve turned to an almost Daily Practice, the close I stay the better off I am !
Walking. Even a short walk causes me to remember that I am not trapped, as I might feel. For a long time while I was very sick, I was unable to walk without assistance and pain, and now that I can again, it also reminds me that I am not where I was, I can keep moving forward!
I think getting to know ourselves, relating to the suppressed parts of ourselves, is essential for all healing. And making friends with those aspects that had felt threatening, realising where these parts come from and why they have been important. Then letting them integrate.
Taking time to listen. To stop and recognise what’s going on and what my needs are at that time. Easier said than done. Practice will help.
Prayer.. talking with God helps me face my fears. Also, talking out my fear with a friend who is neutral on the issue, walking, journaling, practicing gratitude and filling my mind with Scripture. Philippians 4:4-9. Thanking God for whatever is present is sometimes difficult, but helpful, and focusing thoughts on whatever is true, Noble, right, good, lovely, excellent or praiseworthy. Asking God what is underneath this fear or anxiety..is there a issue/ trauma that has not been addressed? Praying through that with someone I trust.
Hello;
I find that your RAIN meditation is very, very helpful to do when I recognize I’m in fear. It is a gift for me and allows me to self-soothe while really feeling the emotion in my body.
I have also done EMDR over past trauma and that too has been helpful.
Thank you for this!
I’ve always thought that I needed to make my fear go away – which I never felt I could do…it was so powerful. This idea of making room for fear is one I will explore.
Thinking of worst case. Which often isnt så bad as you thougjt at first
Best regards Peter
My immediate first problem is that while I have realized that this has been going on with me my whole life, I react instantly to a perceived threat and am often in trouble before I realize what is happening, if I do.
Tuning into the energy we call “fear” and staying present with the ride is what makes the difference.
“Instead of imagining disaster, why not imagine bliss?” None of us know the future. I might spend hours and days of my life worrying and worrying over something that never comes to pass. So when negative scenarios go through my head, I try to notice and simply change them to images of positive outcomes.
If I can identify I am in fear…I have three lines of awakening I offer myself as support. I break it down into FEAR. F=False E=Evidence A=Appearing R=Real. Investigate the evidence. If it is only in my head and heart, perhaps it is not true. Real in a sense but not true. Second stage… F= Face E=Everything A=And R=Respond. This connects to the moment…the here and now. And lastly…(which can be taking tongue and cheek or seriously) F= Fuck E=Everything A= And R= Run!!! I am working on learning how to support myself when i am in fear.
I showed the video on fear to my daughter who suffers from PTSD, anxiety and chronic pain, with whom I have done a little mindfulness of breathing and body work. She found the video very good as it helped her understand how the brain gets wired into habitual thinking. It helped her acknowledged that she is not alone with her fears and worries.
I have cultivated a “safe place” during my EMDR therapy along with protectors who stand with me to explore and stay with my fears. I know intellectually that this will not kill me and eventually I come to a bit more clarity on the origin of the fear and it will eventually dissipate like everything else in life. I have a reassurance mantra “This is not permanent; this will change”. I can take my frightened child to our safe place whenever the trigger feeling, person or circumstance becomes overwhelming. Using sensory anchors such as the feeling of the air on my skin also helps, as my breath gets very ragged and intermittent when I am fearful. I turn to my protectors, such as my meditation instructor or Pema Chodron for reassurance using their wisdom as my own to talk/think myself through the episode.
I am letting fear rule my life, but for the past 30 years approximately I have been dealing with what I feel to be an extension of my Epilepsy with slights to
Paranoia. It has been spotty that I go out, what makes me go out for a walk or coffee is I either running low on things in the apartment or I’m extremely bored
And tired of my surroundings.
I remind myself that the greatest success stories are based on multiple failures. Don’t be afraid to fail.
I find that when I become fearful , I have learnt to acknowledge how I feel and where I feel it in my body , allowing the emotions to be . Only after doing this am I able to move on . Self compassion unconditional loving kindness is so important for me at this time . It is remembering this and being mindful using the tools to help me at the time that really matters.
Fear … When I’m in faith, gratitude, and very present and in the moment, I keep fear and worry at bay. Daily, I pull myself into the now, reminding myself that worry won’t change the outcome, as there are so many unknown variables over which I have no control, that can affect the outcome. I pray, breathe deeply, express gratitude for what is, and step into faith, while focussing on what and how I can give/contribute in my life, my work and in being strong and compassionate in caring for my mom, who, because she has a habit of worrying, ironically, reminds me daily of its futility ? while keeping my heart centred on love ❤
Slowing down & concentrating on my exhale when breathing, using gentle breaths into a relaxed belly area &
throat.
Gratitude helps me face my fears….I am sober 17 years and I know all my fears are based on expectations. I have been through the worst part of my life and every day is a gift. I know if I can get back to a regular practice I can alleviate the stress of fear and how it affects my daily life and relationships. People still tell me I am a light in their life but I don’t always feel it the way I did when I had a strong yoga & meditation practice but I know it’s possible to feel that freedom from fear once again.
I’ve also been caring for my 83 year old mother with alzheimer’s and I think watching her progression has a great deal to do with the feeling of my fears being more intense. I think about her future as well as my own.
dear Tara-
I am grateful for this video.
It has meaning for me.
What help me face fear?(I think that was the question).
After many years of a large variety of therapies…
I experience some level of fear daily 24/7.
It manifests differently each time.
These are some of my menu of coping mechanisms:
1) naming what I am feeling as fear
2) asking myself what would be helpful in the moment
3) sitting meditation
4) listening to a guided meditation on Insight Timer
5) Listening to sound meditations (water,
chantal sound)
6) walking in a wooded park
7) walking at the ocean
8) gym workout
9) talk with a friend
10) polyvagal/osteopathic therapy
11) mindless busyness /distraction
Thank you for asking
For me to face fear needs me to create a space of silence or creativity where I am within and able to experience my true core. Then I can be in the present. This stops the flowing out into the future which is what is focused on within all my anxieties. In the present I can be and experience the fullness and all that I am .
Breaking the habit of catastrophising and imaginings.
Neuro feedback. Work has become political and stressful. Now when I feel overwhelmed I put on my headphones and listen to binaural beats. I focus on a tone that helps me not focus on the fear I am feeling.